Wednesday February 26th. Barcelona, Spain.
"I'm starting to think that maybe this was the wrong choice of outfit for today." Chloe looked down at her obvious bump in the tight white top she had on; paired with pale denim skinny jeans that hung below her bump with a long pale peach coat and nude suede heels, she'd been quite happy with her clothes in the hotel but now they were nearer the circuit she was having second thoughts. "I feel huge, everyone will be able to see that I've put weight on in my face, thighs and arse, I'm bloated and it's making me look bigger than I really am." She moaned. Sam glanced at her as he drove the white Alfa Romeo Stelvio, to him she looked perfect. "I look fat today, don't I? Go on, you can admit, I won't be offended." She added.
"It's not my place to say." He replied tactfully, his mind elsewhere, watching as the red Ferrari Lusso, driven by Seb, turned into the circuit's entrance ahead of him.
"Nicely swerved." She said dryly as he turned the car in through the open gates.
"So many people here." He murmured, more to himself than to Chloe. as the groups of fans swarmed around the Ferrari.
"Yeah, testing is getting more and more popular with fans now they're making it more open to people."
"Mmm." He replied, seeming disinterested.
"Are you ok?" She asked, he'd seemed a bit off all morning so far. "Are you missing home?" She was aware that he hadn't been home since the launch of the SF1000, just over two weeks ago.
He let out a sigh, obviously Seb had failed to tell his wife the news. "Sebastian has not told you?"
"Told me what?" She asked, fidgeting nervously I'm her seat.
"Fanculo." He muttered sharply in Italian under his breath while slowly following the car in front. He braked as Seb reversed into a space, luckily there was another space next to the Ferrari and he drew into it as soon as he could. Next to him, Chloe waited quietly for him to answer her but he could feel her looking at him expectantly. "We wait for Seb to go in with Heikki, his father and brother and then we go in after, ok?" He switched the engine off and silence filled the car.
"I know." She replied automatically, watching in the side mirror as her gorgeous husband got out of the car along with Norbert and Fabian. She yawned, it was just after eight am and she still felt tired. Having caught the cold Seb had had at the weekend meant that her nights had been pretty restless as she couldn't sleep while she felt so bunged up and heavy headed. Thankfully she felt like she was over the worst of it and was really hoping for a decent nights sleep tonight or even a nap in Seb's cool down room. She turned to look behind her as Seb walked away towards the paddock entrance with eager photographers snapping away at him and a few fans almost jogging along to keep up, trying to take selfies with him and asking him to sign things. As he got further away she turned her attention back to Sam who was now texting on his phone. "So what hasn't Seb told me?" She asked, making him look up at her. He looked worried and that worried her more.
"I've had a phone call from my mother's home last night. She is in hospital, in isolation. She has it, the Coronavirus." He leant forward and slumped over the steering wheel, letting out a heavy sigh.
Chloe sat there, reeling from the shock. Poor Sam, he must be terrified of losing her. His mother would have to be in her sixties and that would put at higher risk than most. She could only imagine his torment and how much he'd be wanting to go home. But if his mother had it, was he a carrier? Was it possible he could have it too? "God Sam, I'm so sorry to hear that." She wanted to reach out and touch him, to offer some comfort but she daren't. All of a sudden she felt panicky and then angry at Seb for not telling her. "I'll kill him." She muttered darkly, reaching for the door. She wanted out of this car. Now.
"Whoa Chloe! No!" Sam sat upright, immediately knowing what she was thinking. "I'm ok, it's ok! You have nothing to fear!"
"But your mother....." She began.
"I have not seen her for four weeks, I am clear, I promise you." He instinctively grabbed her wrist to stop her. "Do you think that Sebastian would have me here with you if he thought there was a risk?"
"Oh fuck Sam! I'm so sorry!" She sighed hugely with relief and sat back in her seat but then remembered how worried he was about his mother. "How is she?"
"All I know is that they are trying to treat to her as best they can."
"God it's so frightening." She whimpered, her mind darting to the precautionary measures that Ferrari were taking with this virus virtually on the doorstep of Maranello. She was terrified that Seb, Heikki or Britta could get it and even more terrified that she could get it and maybe miscarry. No one really knew yet what the effects of this virus were on pregnant women and that 'unknown' felt extremely sinister. Putting her fears aside, she looked at Sam once more. He looked full of torment. "You need to go home."
"How can I? I have a job to do, I have to protect you."
"Do you want to go home?"
"Of course I do." He nodded. He was desperate to fly home and be closer to his mother even though he wouldn't be able to see her.
"Then you must go back to the hotel and get yourself on the first flight back to Italy that you can." She reached out and took his hand. "If that was my mum, I'd want to be there and I'm sure she'd love to know that you're home and closer to her than you are now."
"I don't even know if I'd be able to get home, to Reggio."
"Then you get as close as you can, the main thing is that you're there Sam."
"What about Sebastian? I cannot just leave you."
"Let me handle Seb." She opened the car door.
"No, this isn't right. My job is to protect you, I can't just leave you like this." He moaned in frustration.
"Says who?" She shrugged.
"Sebastian."
"Wait, has he told you to put your job before your own mother?" She asked, horrified that he'd do such a thing.
"No, of course not. I am to keep him updated on her condition and tell him if feel I should return home. That is what he said to me." Sam shook his head. "I feel so torn."
"Well don't. Go home Sam, your mother needs you far more than I do. She's far more important."
"Are you very sure?" He asked, already reaching for the car key.
"Definitely." She grabbed her bag and then got out. "Now go and keep us informed of how she gets on. She'll be ok Sam."
"Grazie grazie!!" He looked relieved as she shut the door and within seconds he'd started the engine and reversed out of the space. She watched as the white car left her behind.
"Look! It's Chloe!! It's her!"
"Oh my god, Seb's wife!!"
"Mira! ¡La esposa de Sebastian Vettel está aquí!" (Look Sebastian Vettel's wife is here!)
"It's definitely her!"
"She's pregnant! Look at her!!"
Chloe turned to see the rather large group of fans starting to swarm around her. She froze. Before she could gather her thoughts phones were being thrust intrusively in her face from every angle as people started snapping away.
"Are you pregnant?!"
"It's so good to see you here supporting Seb!"
"We love how you take care of him for us Chloe!"
"What's he like in bed Chloe?"
"Were you pregnant when you got shot?'
"Ha! Is it even Seb's?!"
"This is going straight on Insta!"
Chloe's head was starting to spin at all the questions, remarks and people starting to surround her as they got closer and closer. She began to feel crowded and intimidated but thankfully managed to get her feet to move and she virtually ran from them, pushing her way through, ignoring the cries of her name as she headed for paddock gates. By the time she got to them she was out of breath and panting heavily as she fumbled to get her bag open and look for her pass. Hearing the voices getting closer as the group approached her once more she began to panic and accidentally dropped her bag to the floor, it's contents spilled out - including the positive pregnancy test she'd kept as a memento. "Shit!" She moaned and squatted down to start putting her things back into her bag.
"Let me through!" A familiar German voice demanded.
She glanced up to see Seb, already in his race overall, being let out of the gate next to the one she was at. He immediately squatted down and hastily started to help her put her things into her bag, picking up lip glosses, a concealer stick and the pregnancy test. "Thank you." She breathed, not even thinking about how come he knew she was out here.
"Why do you carry so much shit around with you?" He muttered crossly, clearly annoyed as he stood up. He looked to see the group of race fans, mainly women, hovering nearby, still taking photos and he rolled his eyes. Chloe was all over the Instagram fan accounts already and she didn't even know it yet. Their secret had already been blown wide open. He glanced around, where the hell was Sam? Why did she seem to be alone with all those people around her, pestering her and invading her privacy?
"Sorry, I dropped my bag while trying to look for my pass." She mumbled as she stood up, feeling a little humiliated as she finally laid her hand on the lanyard that the shiny piece of plastic was attached to. She pulled it out and hastily scanned herself in while Seb was let back in through the adjacent gate. He grabbed hold of her hand in much the same way a parent would grab the hand of a naughty child and started off at a brisk pace which she had no choice but to try and keep up with. His grip on her was tight, pinching her fingers together to the point it was starting to hurt and his clenched jaw and thunderous expression told her that he well and truly pissed off.
"Hi Chloe, great to see you back and looking so well." A photographer who she remembered seeing around a lot last year took a couple of snaps of her and she tried to smile while internally bracing herself for a tongue lashing from her husband. "Congratulations on the baby!" He grinned at her, taking one final shot before backing away. She smiled again, preferring to keep quiet, she didn't want to piss Seb off even more. Thankfully it wasn't far to get into Ferrari's hospitality suite and the comfortingly familiar doors swept open to allow them inside. Only then did Seb relax his vice like grip on her hand.
"My room. Now." He didn't even look at her as he spat the words out through gritted teeth.
"Seb!" Britta called to him, seeing the dark expression on his face and Chloe's glum one. She felt compelled to say something to stop the row that she knew was imminent.
"Not now Britta!" He barked at her before leading Chloe through another door at the back. Reaching the door to his changing room, he opened it and held it open for her to step inside which she did with obvious trepidation. He shut it with a slam that still made her jump even though she'd been expecting it. She put her bag down on a shelf unit and braced herself, looking to the floor. There was nothing. Silence. She heard him unzipping his race overall and she dared herself to look up at him. She swallowed down a groan as she caught sight of his bare chest and then his abs as the zip went lower. As she looked up into his eyes to see the blue looking darkened with his anger, she felt a burst of heat deep inside her and that delicious clenching feeling coupled with goosebumps all over. She hoped he couldn't see the effects he was having on her because she was sure that would only enrage him further. "Where's Sam?" He asked angrily. finally cutting the silence as he roughly pulled his arms out from his race overall. "He's meant to be with you, I pay him to take care of you when I can't."
"I sent him back to the hotel to get....." Her voice trailed off as she looked at him, he was now topless. Her mouth watered, she'd give anything to be able to run her hands over his body and kiss every single inch of him.
"You did what?!" He asked slowly and darkly, raising his brows and folding his arms across his chest.
Chloe fell silent and sucked in her bottom lip to stop herself from biting it.
"Answer me." He said quietly as he leant back against the door, looking at her belligerently. "I'm waiting." He added after a beat when she she failed to reply.
She swallowed. He was making her feel nervous as he stood there, eerily quiet, like an unexploded bomb. "I told him to go back to the hotel and get the first flight he could home."
"Ok." He breathed, as though as he was trying to keep calm and not lose his temper.
"Seb, his mothers sick he needs to be with her, not me. Surely you understand that."
"That was not your decision to make! What the fuck do you think you were doing?! You put yourself and our baby at risk yet again!" He yelled, making her flinch at the sudden volume of his voice.
"At risk? Seb, you're blowing this out of proportion." She tried to reason with him.
"You're all over social media! You were out there alone with those people, people you know nothing about! Anything could have happened! You know I have Sam here for a reason, you've been with me when I've talked to Kal, you know why I'm so protective of you and you know my feelings on you coming to race circuits and you being out on your own, you know how fucking scared I am of loosing you and yet you still defy me!!" He glanced up at the ceiling in exasperation before turning away from her to lean on the door with his arms up and his hands flat against it above his head.
"His mother is sick Seb, you couldn't have expected him to stay, he needs to be with his family! She has that virus, she's in hospital! It could be serious!" She tried again. Why he couldn't he see this her way? There was a few seconds silence as he kept his back to her, the light coming through the window highlighted every muscle in his beautiful back as it moved with his heavy, anger filled breaths. There was no doubt it, this man looked magnificent from every angle. Yet again her body reacted at the most inopportune moment. He slapped his hands furiously hard against the door before spinning round to face her; it was brief, a mere millisecond but she was sure that she'd just seen a flash of hatred in those heated, rage filled eyes. It was enough to sting and leave her feeling winded.
"I know! I'm not fucking stupid!" He spat. "I know it could be serious but it wasn't your decision to make! He was here to protect you! He was going to tell me if he needed to go home! I pay for him to be here, not you! You had no right to send him home! He was to come to me if he felt the need to return home, not you!! It's like you've got a fucking death wish!"
"What?" She stepped back, in shock at his last few words.
"You heard!" He moved away from the door and grabbed his white fireproof top from on a chair. "I'm doing my best to keep you safe and I'm getting the help that you say I need but you just take this piss with your stupid actions. It's like you do it on fucking purpose! You've got the fucking baby brain!" He twirled a finger next to head to emphasise his point.
"Wow." She gasped. "So I've got a death wish and I'm stupid?"
He said nothing back as he pulled the white top over his head and then glared angrily at her while shoving his arms roughly into the sleeves.
"Right, at least I know." She muttered shakily, trying hard not to get upset. Her eyes were already one step ahead and were prickling with tears. Wanting to get away before she said anything back in retaliation, she grabbed her bag and left, slamming the door shut behind her.
Seb's regret was instant, as was his overflowing anger that came out in a torrent of German expletives and a rage filled assault on the furniture as he kicked the massage table into the shelf unit, making the wooden unit collapse with a crash, and then kicked the chair hard, sending it hurtling into the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the end of the day and Chloe opened her eyes and stared blankly up towards the ceiling. Her eyes felt heavy and irritated, a result of crying herself to sleep once she'd got Heikki to drop her off back at the hotel and she'd collapsed onto the bed in tears. Her chest still ached and the lump was still prominent in her throat as she thought back to earlier and Seb's harsh reaction to an innocent, friendly gesture that she'd done for Sam. She wondered briefly how his mother was and if he'd arrived back in Italy yet but then something else caught her attention. Music. She sat up and listened. She could definitely hear music, Ed Sheeran's Thinking Out Loud to be precise. Seb must be back. Her stomach churned and she hoped that his mood had improved. Getting out of bed, she slowly and wearily made her way to the door and then quietly opened it just enough to peek out. The smell of food filled her nostrils rather oddly along with the scent of roses. Feeling curious, she pulled the door right open and took a couple of tentative steps into the lounge. The first thing she noticed was the dining table by the window, overlooking the view of the Mediterranean Sea, set for two with a candle flickering in the centre. The second thing she noticed was on the coffee table and her mouth fell open at the sight of it. It was the biggest bouquet of red roses that she'd ever seen, beautifully and elegantly wrapped in layers of red tissue paper and displayed in a big clear and gold marbled glass vase.
"Hi." Seb appeared from where he'd been standing in the kitchenette, keeping their food warm in the oven.
"Hi." She gave him a hint of a smile. "How was testing?" She stayed standing where she was, keeping a careful distance from him as he stood there awkwardly with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, his head tilted downwards in shame, looking up through his lashes.
He didn't want to talk about the testing session as he looked back at her taking in her in slightly bloodshot, puffy eyes and blotchy skin with streaks of mascara going in all directions on her face, he just wanted to let her know how sorry he was. She even had traces of mascara on her white top. He saw her swallow heavily and her eyes became glassy, she was clearly still right on the edge of tears and it ripped him apart inside with guilt. He'd done this to her. He'd didn't even know how to begin to take back and make right the hurtful words he'd said to her just before she'd fled from his changing room and he was scared that he'd never get back to how he was before the shooting. She blinked and the single tear that rolled down her cheek made his own eyes fill with tears, he hung his head and looked down to the floor to break her gaze.
Seeing how much he was hurting with shame and remorse, she reacted on instinct and ran to him, throwing her arms around him to hold him against her, pressing as much of her body against his as she physically could while burying her face against his shoulder while he held her just as tightly, burying his face into her hair. She could feel his body shake as he fought his tears, sliding a hand up her back to entangle his fingers in her hair.
"I'm sorry." He whispered vehemently, bunching her hair up in his fist. "I just love you so fucking much."
"I love you too." She choked the words out, sliding her hands from his back to his chest, leaning back from him to look at him. He kept his head down, letting his tears fall in between them. "Seb, it's ok." She grasped his face in her hands to make him look at her.
"I don't deserve you." He croaked as she set about wiping his tears with her thumbs.
"I love you, you're fucking stuck with me for life." She tried to smile through her own tears.
"I just can't get past it." He bit the words out, getting frustrated with himself.
"You will, I promise you will." She stroked down either side of his face with her palms, letting her fingertips linger on his jawline each time.
"I don't see how." He looked into her eyes, desperately searching for the answer while her touch started to calm him.
"You have to let go of this compulsion you have to keep me safe, you have to stop letting the fear control you."
"It's not that simple, you know that."
"I know, but you can try."
"I am trying." He groaned, shifting from foot to foot as he started to feel frustrated again.
"Seb." She took a firm grasp of his face to stop him. "I know you're trying. Tomorrow we'll try harder, without the bodyguard."
"No." He shot back firmly, shaking his head.
"Yes." She nodded and stood on tiptoes to kiss him, bringing his lips closer to meet hers. "Yes, because I believe you can do it." She added feeling his hands slip down to her waist as he made the final move to kiss her. He let out a soft moan in relief as her lips moved in sync with his and he quickly deepened the kiss, consuming her and sweeping her away with his love for her. The groan he let out into her mouth she as hungrily found his tongue with her own, reverberated right through her. Stopping to take a breath, he pulled away to place a hand on the side of her neck and tenderly stroke her cheek with his thumb. His expression had changed completely, he looked almost drunk on love, his eyes were now shot with lust and he trailed his thumb over her bottom lip before stooping to pick her up. She wrapped her legs around him and kissed him again, harder this time, trying to tell him that she forgave him and just how much she loved him without using any words. She was addicted to him; no one kissed her quite like he did, no one looked at her like he did just before he kissed her and no one made her lose all track of time and made everything else fade into blissful nothingness in the way he did. He carried her to the kitchenette where he set her down on the counter without breaking their kiss, feeling his fear and his guilt melt away. His body relaxed and then heated up from within as her kiss became more passionate but with a fiery, demanding edge as her hands slipped underneath his logo'd top to explore the firm planes of his torso. When she pulled back slightly to bite playfully on his bottom lip, he was gone and he picked her up once again, staring intently into her eyes, lost in her, walking through the lounge and straight into the bedroom where he kicked the door shut behind them.