"Jeno-ah", a voice whispered in his ear.
When the black haired slowly opened his eyes, he immediately found himself lost in two shining eyes.
Two shining eyes full of mischievousness.
That was what Jeno realized, when the owner of this two mesmerizing eyes slowly started to straddle Jeno's lap, who was still lying in his bed.
"What are you doing, Nana?", Jeno asked in a hoarse voice.
"Nothing", the other boy answered innocently.
"At least nothing, that we both don't want.", he whispered and leaned down.
He was right. Jeno wanted this. So badly. His heart was screaming at him to let the boy close the gap and then get lost in the feeling.
But also his mind was screaming at him to stop this.
This was wrong. So, so wrong.
And like always, his mind was stronger.
With all his energy Jeno quickly turned them over and changed their positions.
With him now leaning over the boy, who always has stolen Jeno's breath away.
"Why can't you behave just for once?", he asked in a dark tone, which made the other boy whimper.
"Don't- don't want to. I just want you. And I know you want me too.", the boy said and put his arms around Jeno's neck.
He pulled him closer and Jeno slowly felt himself giving up.
It was so easy to just let his lips slide over the one's of the younger boy.
So so easy.
"Please", the boy under him whined.
"What are you doing to me? Why do you have so much control over me? This is unfair.", Jeno breathed and leaned down, ready to fuxk all his rules.
But just as he was about to press their lips together, he heard a loud ringing.
"Shit", Jeno jumped up in his bed.
He just had another dream of giving up everything for Jaemin.
He was so deep in shit.
Jaemin took over his mind, and Jeno felt himself slowly becoming crazy.
How could he resist the boy that was literally sleeping in the room right next to him?
That was around him the whole time.
That he spent the most time with, because they were not only living together, but also working together and also going to school together.
There was no escaping Jaemin.
And when Jeno had some minutes for himself, his mind was plagued by the younger boy.
What should he do?
How should he forget him, when Jaemin tried everything to stop him from this?
Actually, Jaemin didn't even have to try. He couldn't forget the other boy anyways.
He was already to deep in love.
To deep in love with this bright eyes full of love for him.
To deep in love with this cute smile, which also made Jeno's lips turn into a smile.
To deep in love with this little pout, that he always wanted to kiss away.
To deep in love with the kind and soft hands, which he always wanted to touch him.
God, Jeno was a lost cause and there was nothing that could help him.
Jeno went out of his room to look if the other's were somewhere else in the dorm, since his room was empty.
But he found no one.
He went to the kitchen - empty.
It was also awfully quiet.
When he went back to the living room, the door of the bathroom opened.
"Oh-", a surprised Jaemin was standing in front of him.
"Hi", Jeno nervously said. His dream still in his mind.
"Where is everyone?", he asked, when Jaemin closed the door of the bathroom.
"Grocery shopping. Didn't they asked you to come with them?", Jaemin said and came slightly closer.
"No. I-ehm I was asleep till a few minutes ago.", Jeno coughed slightly.
I just want you. And I know you want me too.
"Why didn't you go with them?"
"They go grocery shopping, I cook tonight. That's the deal", Jaemin proudly smiled.
"Aha", Jeno nodded.
"Seems like we are alone again", Jaemin smirked and before Jeno realized what was happening, Jaemin was standing in front of him.
Only a few inches between them.
"Jaemin, stop.", Jeno said lightly annoyed.
"I'm not doing anything.", Jaemin said and put out his hand to play with Jeno's t-shirt.
"No, you never do anything, right?", Jeno whispered sarcastically.
"Right", Jaemin whispered back and looked up. Jeno could feel his breath on his face.
"Stop", Jeno said and grabbed Jaemin's hand, which was still playing with his t-shirt.
"Why? Why should I?", Jaemin looked in Jeno's eyes and then on their interlocked hands.
"Because this is wrong."
"But why does it feel so right then?", Jaemin couldn't stop the single tear, that escaped his eyes.
Jeno reached his free hand out and wiped the tear away.
"Sorry, I should go now.", Jeno whispered and let go of Jaemin's hand to go to his room.
"Yes!", Jaemin screamed. "Leave, like you always do. Be the asshole, which you always are."
"Do you think this is easy for me?", Jeno also screamed, while turning around to face Jaemin.
"Yes, because you run away from this so quickly every god damn time!"
"I run away, because I can't think straight, when I am so close to you!"
"If you would really want me, you couldn't stay away from me. But here we are. The kiss was two weeks ago. I gave you one week to give in again, but nothing. And I am going insane. Because I really want you. And I can't stay away.", Jaemin started shouting but to the end his voice became a whisper.
"I do want you, Jaemin. But I also try to be the responsible one and keep us out of danger.", Jeno became frustrated.
"Maybe you should let your heart take over for once", Jaemin grumbled.
"And maybe you should use your brain for once", Jeno shoot back.
Jaemin scoffed.
"What would happen, Jeno? What would happen, if you kiss me again?"
"You want to know, what would happen then? I would loose all fuxking control I still have left.", Jeno said, while ruffling his hair.
"And why would this be so bad?"
"Because- because.... Because then I want you even more and I can't have you. That's why.", Jeno's voice was only a whisper.
"But I am here. All your's. You just have to take me.", Jaemin let his arms drop to his sides.
"And then keep you as a secret? You are better than a secret, Na Jaemin. We don't have a future. It is all useless."
"Who says we don't have a future?", Jaemin's voice got louder again.
"Do you even realize in which country we are living?", Jeno couldn't believe, what Jaemin was saying.
"In a country, that could change his view on this world in a few years", Jaemin answered softly and full of hope.
Jeno wanted to believe that too. But it was just too good to ever become true.
"I- I don't believe this.", Jeno whispered.
"Of course, you don't", Jaemin said and turned around to hide in his room. He was just too tired to keep this conversation going.
"You will stay the coward and asshole you always have been", Jaemin whispered under his breath, but Jeno heard him.
He grabbed Jaemin's arm and pushed him on the couch.
Jaemin was now lying on the couch, with Jeno hovering above him.
"Don't say I am an asshole, when I do nothing but to protect us, to protect you."
"No", Jaemin shook his head. "You don't protect me, you hurt me. When you stay away from me and don't show me how much you love and want me, that is hurting me more than anything else."
"Jaemin-", Jeno tried, but Jaemin shook his head again, the first tears escaping.
"No. No. Just let me go. I don't want to look at you right now. You are hurting me too much. It pains. It pains too much. I can't handle it. Can't handle it to be so close to you but not be able to touch you, to feel your lips on mine. So please-"
Jaemin was cut off by a pair of lips on his own.
It was a quick kiss, but nonetheless soft and tender.
"I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I don't want to hurt you. I didn't even know, I was able to hurt you.", Jeno said quietly and wiped the younger's tears away.
"I want you." Another kiss.
"I don't like to see you sad and hurt." Another one.
"I would do everything for your happiness." And another kiss.
"I love you." This time the kiss lasted longer.
Jaemin found himself kissing back. How could he not?
"I love you too.", he said between kisses, feeling the need to say these words back.
To reassure the older that he wanted this just as much. That he wanted him and would risk everything for him.
The kisses turned more heated.
Jeno grinded down and made Jaemin gasp. His tounge now finding the way in Jaemin's mouth.
God, how could he resist this for two weeks, Jeno asked himself.
Experimentally he rolled down his hips again and Jaemin moaned.
Wow, Jeno just found another thing, he loved about Jaemin.
Already getting addicted to the sounds Jaemin made, he grinded down again.
"Jeno-ah", Jaemin breathed.
"Jaeminie", Jeno answered.
"Love you so much. Too much.", Jaemin sighed.
"I know. I feel the same", Jeno said without stopping kissing Jaemin.
Another grind and Jaemin moaned again. "Please-"
But just as the word left Jaemin's mouth, they heard keys and rustling at the door.
They both jumped away from each other, bringing as much distance between them as they could.
They tried to make their hair and clothes look like they haven't made out on this couch just a second ago and then the door was already opening.
"Hi", they heard Renjun saying.
The boys, who nervously looked on the floor before, now looked up and greeted Renjun back. The guy was followed by Chenle and Jisung, that were arguing about who was allowed to have the first spoon out of their new bought ice cream.
"Did we disturb you by something or why do you look so weird?", Rejun asked lightly laughing.
"No- no. You didn't disturb us. We just woke up from a nap.", Jeno lied.
"A nap?", Rejun asked. "Together on the couch?", he laughed again.
Jeno blushed and Jaemin's eyes widened.
But Jaemin quickly gained his composure again.
"Sure, Renjun. We slept on this tight couch together, right after we made out on it", Jaemin rolled his eyes, while Jeno felt like his eyes would fall out of his head.
But Renjun only laughed harder. "I bet you did." And with one final shook of his head, he went to the kitchen to put the groceries there.
Chenle and Jisung were already there, putting the other groceries in the fridge. They decided that they both could take a spoon and have the first bite of the ice cream at the same time.
Jeno gulped. He didn't dare to look at Jaemin but he knew he had to.
When he looked in Jaemin's eyes, the other was already looking back.
"I know. We will pretend this never happened. I will go to my room. Seriously take a little nap, before I will start making dinner.", Jaemin stood up and was so fast gone that Jeno couldn't even find words to say something.
Because Jeno's heart was going overdrive.
Could he really pretend that this didn't happen again?
Because, shit, he forgot how freaking good Jaemin's lips felt against his own.
Too good. Too freaking good.
How should he resist them now?
He couldn't. He just couldn't.
Jeno was a screwed man.
He was a screwed man since the moment, in which a little boy, named Na Jaemin, came into his life and turned his world upside down.
He was a lost man.
A man lost in his feelings.
And there was no longer a way to escape them.
Jeno was screwed. So badly.