A/N: I promise the trio aren't assholes
—
Donghyuck just kept his head against Xuxi's chest, listening to his heartbeat. There was a small knock on the bathroom door. "Johnny is here" he recognized Jaemin's voice. Xuxi helped Donghyuck up and walked him out to the living room. There Johnny stood, tall yet small at the same time. His eyes tired and bloodshot like he'd be crying, hair a mess from pushing through it, and sleeves rolled up. Donghyuck broke away from Xuxi to run at Johnny and bury himself into his older brother who caged him to his chest, setting his chin on the top of his head.
"You're back" Johnny whispered. Someone cleared their throat.
"So uh... what's going on? Haechan was fine before he fell asleep" The guy he learned to be named Jaemin said. Johnny sighed and the room filled with tension.
"I-I can explain" Donghyuck said into Johnny's chest.
"You sure Hyuck?" Johnny asked and Donghyuck nodded and pulled away wiping his face. He played with his fingers as he looked at the three faces he doesn't even know.
"W-well um... I'm not Haechan" he whispered and everyone looked even more confused. "Um well the only one I have truly met is... you Xuxi" he gestured to the tall man.
"You don't know Renjun and I?" Jaemin asked and Donghyuck shook his head.
"Sorry I'm a little disoriented, cause Haechan drank" Donghyuck said and then looked up at Johnny. "Sorry" he whispered and Johnny shook his head. Donghyuck released himself from Johnny and faced the three. He shuffled his feet. "I uh have dissociative identity disorder."
"What?" All of them said at once and Donghyuck bit his lip.
"I-I'll introduce myself then..." he took a deep breath not used to talking so much.
"I'm Lee Donghyuck, I'm 20, I love animals, blankets, and sweets" he blushed feeling embarrassed. "U-um I hate loud noises." He finished. They just looked at him, he felt like a lab rat on display. "You guys," he gestured towards them, "met Lee Haechan. He's 20, he also loves animals, but unlike me he loves partying and being around a lot of people. He uh hates school also which explains the skipping part..."
"Wait so... like... you're two different people?" Renjun asked.
"Yes" he whispered.
"Think of it like a pair of twins but they share the same body" Johnny said. They nodded slowly still trying to comprehend the situation.
"So you don't have his memories?" Jaemin asked and Donghyuck shook his head.
"N-no, maybe small bits and pieces but Haechan usually knows mine. I-I'm the personality that is out the most making me the dominant o-one" he explained further.
"We'd deeply appreciate it if you wouldn't tell anybody" Johnny said, Donghyuck could hear the protectiveness in his voice. They all nodded.
"Yeah sure man" Xuxi said.
"Thank you" Donghyuck said.
"We'll he going now" Johnny said and nodded towards all of them. Donghyuck took Johnny's hand, he was shaking from the situation feeling uncomfortable and overwhelmed. He turned towards everyone.
"S-sorry for the inconvenience" he said and faced away. They hurriedly left after that.
-
The next day at school Donghyuck was approached by Xuxi in the hallway. He was walking to his next class when someone caught up to him. "Hae-Don-" Xuxi paused and Donghyuck jumped from the sudden noise and looked up at the male who had caught up with him.
"O-oh hey Xuxi" he said.
"I have a question" Xuxi said and Donghyuck stopped on the side of the hallway to talk to Xuxi.
"Yes?"
"So like, I was wondering if there was anyway we could like... uh summon Haechan?" He said. Before Donghyuck could talk he continued "the guys and I discussed it and we saw from an American movie called 'Split' that the therapist lady can bring forward a personality by saying his name o-" he started to rant and Donghyuck could see the sparkles in his eyes, he's excited. Donghyuck cut him off.
"I-It doesn't work that way... I mean at least with me" he said and Xuxi froze and then nodded. Donghyuck didn't miss the fall in the guy's mood.
"Oh alright, uh sorry man" he said awkwardly and walked away. Donghyuck looked down at his feet. Haechan has always been better at making friends. He sighed and hurried to his next class.
By lunch time Donghyuck was lost in thought. He got to his table and sat next to Johnny. "You ok Hyuckie?" Taeyong asked and Donghyuck looked up and smiled politely.
"Uh yeah, sorry just tired" he said with a small laugh.
"Awe, what time did you go to bed?" Taeil asked.
"I was just tossing and turning all night" he scratched his nape. It wasn't a lie, he was tossing and turning all night, except it was because of a nightmare.
"Oh hey Mark!" Someone said and Donghyuck looked up to see Jaemin. Mark smiled and high-fived the guy.
"What's up man" Mark said back. Donghyuck watched as Jaemin looked over at him and he looked away feeling shy.
"Hey Donghyuck" Jaemin smiled and Donghyuck looked back at him and returned it.
"H-hey Jaemin" he said back.
"You know each other?" Mark asked and the two nodded.
"We sk-" Jaemin started.
"We met during classes y-yesterday" Donghyuck said and Jaemin nodded.
"We were wondering if you wanted to join us at our table Donghyuck" Jaemin said and Donghyuck bit his lip. They might have questions.
"Um... sure I guess" he said.
"No invite for me?" Mark joked and Jaemin laughed as Donghyuck picked up his lunch.
"We have some private matters to discuss" Jaemin said and took Donghyuck's hand causing the shorter to blush but hold on. "I promise I'll give him back before lunch ends!" Jaemin smiled at everyone and the nodded a bit confused but let them go, Johnny looked reluctant but waved them off. Jaemin led Donghyuck to their table, gently holding the older's hand and moving the pad of his thumb across his knuckles. "Sorry, I noticed yesterday you seemed to calm down when Johnny held your hand" Jaemin said and Donghyuck nodded.
"I-it's okay."
Soon they arrived and sat down, Jaemin letting go of him.
"Hey Hyuck" Renjun said.
"Hi" he said hesitantly.
"We've been thinking, what if we found a way to summon Haechan? Have you tried?" Jaemin asked this time looking excited. Donghyuck bit his lip and shook his head.
"N-no but-" he started.
"We wanna invite him to a party" Renjun said and then took a drink of his water. Donghyuck raised his brows.
"We promise we would have invited you but you said you don't like crowds and loud noises" Jaemin clarified and Donghyuck nodded slowly.
"Okay, but uh... you can't just force a personality out" he whispered and started bouncing his leg.
"Have you tried?" Xuxi asked. Donghyuck looked away but shook his head no.
"I-I can write the date down on the calendar in my room" he said and looked at all of them. He heard Renjun sigh, even if he did try to cover it with a fake yawn. Donghyuck felt judged and unliked. He isn't welcomed here unless he's Haechan. They must think he's dumb.
"You said you haven't tried though" Jaemin said softly.
"Well yeah, b-" Donghyuck started again.
"Lee Haechan" Xuxi said and Donghyuck frowned at him.
"I said it doesn't work that way" he said once more. Jaemin looked around before he grabbed a small bottle from his jacket.
"What about drinking alcohol? I heard familiar things can bring another out." Donghyuck sighed.
"I don't like alcohol..." he whispered.
"Try it? Please?" Renjun said looking hopeful. Donghyuck played with the ends of his sleeves. He loved making others happy, he should do it.
"O-okay" he said and they all smiled. He hesitantly took the bottle, it felt so wrong to hold it. He unscrewed the cap and brought it towards himself and took a sip cringing at the taste of the luke-warm drink. He set it down.
"Haechan?" Xuxi questioned leaning forward.
"I-I told you it wouldn't work" he said.
"Bigger drink maybe?" Jaemin asked and offered the bottle once more. Donghyuck forced himself not to cry as he took a bigger drink of it and set the bottle aside. He wiped his mouth. No Haechan. No slipping. He coughed a few times and Jaemin patted his back.
"Well?" Renjun asked and Donghyuck shook his head. "What about a loud noise? I heard that can trigger a reaction" Renjun continued. Donghyuck felt himself tremble but he suppressed it by squeezing his hands together.
"I hate loud noises" he said back.
"We know but we really need to talk to H-" Jaemin started but suddenly there was a loud noise. Xuxi dropped a large chemistry book right on the ground and some chatter died down. Donghyuck quickly covered his ears feeling them become fuzzy. Doors slamming. It sounds like doors slamming. He heard some voices from behind his hands but couldn't focus. Doors slamming. Doors slamming. Doors slamming. A dresser falling. A dresser falling. He started to shake violently.
"Haechan?" He felt his hand ripped away from his ear, Jaemin's voice making it's way through.
"G-get away from me" he whispered and quickly stood up leaving his lunch and ripping himself away from the group. They looked confused but then concern when they saw the first tear run down his face. He walked away not wanting to make a scene by running. Doors slamming. Doors slamming. Doors slamming. A dark closet. A dark closet. A dark closet. The images kept flashing as he continued towards his original table feeling tears roll down his cheeks. He made it close but he quickly went another way to go to the bathrooms. He locked himself in a stall and started to take deep breaths as he cradled his head in his hands. The bathroom door opened.
"Hyuckie are you in here?" Taeil.
"H-Hyung, I c-can't breathe" there's a weight pressing on his chest, crushing him.
"Come out, which stall are you in?" Taeil asked, his frantic footsteps coming towards his stall. He unlocked the stall with shaky hands and stumbled out and into Taeil's arms. He dragged Taeil down to the floor with him as he shook violently, pressing his head to his chest to hear his heartbeat.
"Shh shh Hyuck I got you, I saw you walking to the bathroom and you looked upset" Taeil explained holding Donghyuck and running his fingers through his brown hair.
"I-I thought I could handle it alone" he was trying to breathe normally but couldn't.
"What happened?" Taeil said holding Donghyuck's head to his chest.
"It... the sound" he whispered.
"The book?" Taeil asked.
"X-Xuxi dropped the book and-" he was hit with the sound again in his mind. Then the picture of a door slamming. He started to shake again.
"Hey hey focus on me okay?" Taeil said, "should I get Johnny? He had to go class early but I'm sure he wou-" he started but Donghyuck shook his head.
"I can't bother him, I shouldn't be bothering y-you" he cried.
"You're not bothering me" Taeil said and patted his back. The bathroom door opened.
"Woah uh what's happening? Wait shit, Haechan are you okay?" The one and only Mark Lee walked over and crouched down.
"I-I'll be okay, we should go to class" he slowly got up, Taeil helping him. "T-thanks" Donghyuck whispered and wiped his eyes. The older males watched as he splashed his fave with cold water and patted it dry and left. He walked out and went back to Xuxi's table and grabbed his lunch without saying a word to them.
"Wait Hyuck we're s-" Jaemin started.
"Don't you ever talk to me again, I don't know you. You only know Haechan" he said softly and walked away.
Dance was going by fairly well, he lost himself in the music, letting it take control of his body. He could feel eyes on him but he ignored it, let himself free. The song soon ended and he stood there panting and suddenly a few claps. Taeyong went over and patted his shoulder. "That was amazing Hyuck" he said and Hyuck blushed at the praise, especially from a experienced and beautiful dancer.
"Thank you so much hyung" he smiled. Taeyong got closer and ruffled his hair.
"How are you feeling? You seemed upset earlier" he whispered. Donghyuck shuffled his feet and looked away with a sigh and then back at his hyung.
"B-better, just something happened" he said.
"Was it the loud noise?" Taeyong asked and Donghyuck's eyes widened. "I noticed last time you panicked after a loud noise so I assumed."
"Y-yeah it was" he said and looked down. "How embarrassing, getting worked up by a stupid noise" he laughed at himself as Taeyong gently pulled him to the side holding his hand.
"Not at all, we all have things that make us panic" he said and squeezed Donghyuck's hand.
"Thanks hyung" he smiled and Taeyong nodded and left Donghyuck to continue with a routine. Donghyuck felt a pair of eyes on him and looked over to see Mark, the older quickly looked away.
By the end of the day Donghyuck was tired. He stood outside waiting for Johnny. "Sorry Hyuckie, I had some stuff I had to get done" Johnny said while approaching him.
"It's okay hyung" Donghyuck smiled and the older ruffled his hair and they headed to the jeep. They both got in and buckled up. Johnny backed out and started to drive back to their apartment.
It was silent for awhile before Johnny spoke. "Taeil said you had a panic attack in the bathroom today... Hyuckie why didn't you tell me?" Johnny asked and glanced at the younger. Donghyuck fiddled with his fingers.
"U-uh well, I didn't want to be a bother..." he whispered.
"Donghyuck, you will never be a bother to me" he said and smiled. "I promise."
"Thank you hyung, I just thought maybe—maybe I could handle it. I didn't even want to bother Taeil hyung" he said.
"I doubt you were a bother to him. What happened?" Johnny asked. Donghyuck can't lie to Johnny, the older would find out sooner or later, he always does.
"Y-you know Xuxi, Jaemin, and Renjun?" He asked and Johnny hummed. "They asked if they can like... summon Haechan and I guess they watched a movie where some lady can say the other personalities name and beckon them ou-" he started to ramble.
"Why the hell would they try that?" Johnny said frowning still looking at the road. Donghyuck gulped.
"They wanted to invite him to a party but... I said I would put it on my calendar and that you can't just summon one forward, I told them it doesn't work that way and then..." he took a deep breath.
"And then what Hyuckie?" Johnny asked concerned.
"R-Renjun said maybe a loud noise will trigger a reaction. I told them I hated loud noises but" his eyes watered thinking of it "Xuxi purposely dropped his chemistry book and it was just so so loud and my head got fuzzy and my ears started ringing and I couldn't breathe hyung, I couldn't breathe" he choked on a sob. Johnny's knuckles were turning white from how hard he was gripping the wheel. He quickly made a u-turn. "W-wait where are we going?" Hyuck asked.
"Back to the school, they might still be there" Johnny said.
"Hyung wait, no, it's okay! I told them not to talk to me again because they only know Haechan. Please hyung it's not worth it" his bottom lip trembled.
"I'm not going to let them off the hook Hyuckie" he said and continued to the place.
"It's not worth it..." Donghyuck whispered.
"It is, they have to learn to be considerate. They were insensitive and if they ever meet someone with D.I.D they might pull that shit again" Johnny said. Donghyuck could tell the older was trying to stay calm. Once they made it Johnny practically sprinted out of the jeep and Donghyuck ran after him. Johnny was walking super fast and Hyuck almost tripped a few times catching up to him. He saw Jaemin, Jeno, Mark, Renjun, and Xuxi walking out of the doors laughing and Johnny instantly went their way. Donghyuck looked around for help and he saw Jaehyun.
"Jaehyun hyung h-help!" He said and the older looked over and saw Donghyuck trying to grab onto Johnny. He ran over and grabbed Johnny's arm but the older nudged him off.
"Hey!" Johnny shouted as he approached the group. Donghyuck watched as Renjun, Jaemin, and Xuxi shrunk knowing what they did.
"Hyuck what happened?" Jaehyun asked as he tried to catch up with Johnny with Donghyuck at his side.
"He's mad, Jaemin, Xuxi, and R-Renjun did something harmful to me—I can't stop Johnny hyung" he said worriedly.
"Johnny hyung? What's up?" Mark asked looking worried.
"You three, come with me" Johnny growled pointing at the guys. Donghyuck and Jaehyun finally caught up and Donghyuck grabbed Johnny's right arm and Jaehyun his left.
"Hyung it's not worth it" Donghyuck whispered.
"Man calm down, you can't hurt these kids" Jaehyun said.
"They are not children. It's worth it, they need to learn to be fucking considerate" he growled the last sentence. Xuxi gulped.
"L-listen we apologized, Donghyuck we're sorry" Jaemin said looking at Hyuck who only looked away.
"What's going on?" Jeno asked.
"What did they do?" Mark asked. Johnny ripped his arms away but still somehow managed to do it softly with Hyuck. He approached the three and got in their faces.
"Mess with my baby brother again and I will hunt your asses down. Don't pull that shit ever again, do you even realize what you fucking did? Huh?!" Johnny yelled.
"Dude calm the hell down, they said sorry" Jaehyun said trying to coax the older to chill. Donghyuck was shaking and then another heavy weight on his chest. Don't make a scene, don't make a scene, don't make a scene.
"H-hyung people are looking" he whispered grabbing onto Johnny's shirt but the older wouldn't give in.
"We fucking apologized man! What else do you want us to do?! How were we suppose to know?!" Xuxi yelled at Johnny. Uh oh. Johnny grabbed his collar and brought him close.
"You gave my brother a panic attack, you forced him into memories he doesn't need to revisit" he whispered all of this, only three of them could hear.
"W-what?" Renjun asked.
"Come with me" Johnny said and dragged Xuxi and the two others followed, Mark and Jeno were about to but Jaehyun put out an arm to stop them.
"I don't think it concerns you guys" he said. Donghyuck was looking at the ground as he cried feeling like such a burden. He started wiping his eyes. "Fuck I gotta go to work" Jaehyun said and looked at Hyuck and petted his hair.
"Do you need me to take you home?" He asked.
"Need to make sure he doesn't kill them" he said and Jaehyun nodded.
"Mark, Jeno, watch over him" he said before jogging away. Mark walked over and hugged him.
"Sh don't cry Haechanie" he said.
"My name is Donghyuck" he whispered.
"Bu-" Mark started.
"Please" Donghyuck whispered. Jeno stood beside Mark as he soothed Donghyuck's hair and watched as Johnny was explaining something to the group. Donghyuck's life is already a mess, he already messed everything up for Johnny. He buried his face in Mark's neck and clutched onto his shirt. The older rubbed his back and held his waist. Mark's warm, it felt nice to be held. Wonderful even. He loves being cuddled, he loves being warm. Mark was holding him... protectively.
Donghyuck loved this.