So for this chapter and the next chapter, both Oc's will be from @Bokukkokhmer so please go check out their profile. Thank you so much for giving me not only one Oc, but TWO whole characters. It really makes me happy that you chose me, and it's thanks to people like you that really make remember why I did this in the first place. Thank you, little Rodent <3
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Fandom: Original. It's a story about how certain families, known as Guardians, are assigned to protect their town or city from supernatural threats, ranging from the standard angry spirit to flesh eating ogres. The Delacroix family of Blackmore just so happen to do this while delivering babies.
I like this idea, personally I like watching supernatural shows and movies like this (if done right) and I think it could make for some really good storytelling and character developement. Just be careful if you write a story like this because it can either be really unique or it can be really unoriginal, but I think this would be in the first option.
Name: Avril Delacroix
I like her name, her last name sounds like a fancy sparkling water brand, which isn't bad at all.
Name meaning: Avril is the French form of "April" which is a feminine name. Delacroix is also of French origin and means "of the cross". Her middle name is revealed to be Dominique which is a unisex French name meaning "of the Lord".
I like the meaning behind her name and I think it could really play into the story by maybe making her come from a religous family, and they reason they fight is for religous reasons. Just an idea lol, because names can tell you a lot about a person.
Nickname: Sister Delacroix (her patients call her this to distinguish her from her brothers who are also nurses, it's also because she had an older uniform that made her look like a nun), Mon Chou (her brothers call her this, it means "My Cabbage" in French)
I like her nicknames, and I think the nickname she has from her brothers is cute, but maybe you could give a a reason as to why they call her that, like is there a cute story with a cabbage, but it's totally fine if there isn't.
Age: 26
Sex: Female
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Ok this is all fine, nice supernatural fighting age.
Relationship Status: She starts out single before getting married.
Aw, that's cute, I like how you put that she does eventually get married and I feel like not a lot of people do that.
Crush: Samuel Kohler. He also has a crush on her, making their interactions comically awkward.
This is the Oc for the next chapter, so don't worry you guys will learn about him as well.
Species: Human
Nice, it's good that she isn't a supernatural species because it gives her more weaknesses which makes a character compelling.
Personality: Avril is considered the most rational Delacroix siblings, she's highly witty and entertaining with a incredible amount of determination. But she's what her brothers call "chaotically creative" using complex and unorthodox methods to fix a problem, and decorating her property in bold, eccentric ways. She also tends to be aloof and stubborn, although those traits appeared more often in her youth.Avril greatly enjoys eating various desserts and sugary food, but doesn't seem to gain more weight due to her biking and walking from place to place. However, she acts quite enraged and sensitive whenever anyone calls her fat. She also tends to act this way if you take her desserts, specifically her Portuguese-style egg tarts as newcomers quickly learn.
I like her personallity, she sounds human, to me. I like how you tied her "high wit" personality trait to her "complex and unorthidox problem solving" personality trait.
Hobbies: Botany, Playing the bagpipes, window shoppingHabits: Besides the Scottish and French influences in her English she makes actual sound effects with her mouth and hands when she talks such as when she explained a time that she burned a bag of popcorn, traces her necklace when anxious, tenses her shoulders whenever she types.
I like her habits, especially the one where she makes noises and does big movements when she talks, because this is actually like a real, like my twin brother hs to make noises and big movements when he tells a story, and in my opinion it is always funny.
Likes: Egg tarts, biking, plants, plushies, croque monsieurDislikes: Food doused in sauce, tomatoes, arrogant people, driving, runny egg yolks
I like this because it sounds just like her character, and when I think of a french person I think of these likes and dislikes most of the time, and I don't mean to offend anyone.
Powers: Avril is both a midwife and a guardian. She has massive knowledge on all things medical due to growing up with it all her life. Avril is also skilled as a guardian, being able to handle ghosts and possessions. She's also shown to be very athletic being able to outrun high school athletes, and climbing fences without any hesitation.Avril can speak English, Gaelic and French. Her English is influenced by her adoptive mother's French accent, and her adoptive father's Scottish accent, resulting in English where she pronounces certain words in either a French or Scottish manner, or pronounces words of French origin with a French accent, or she refers to certain things with Scottish/British terms like "French fries" being "Chips". It's revealed that she knows how to drive but is too terrified to drive after she was hit while legally turning left.
I like how you didn't put in like actual powers, but I feel like her medical knowledge and her knowledge of 3 languages would go under strengths rather than powers, but that is really just me being nit-picky.
Strengths: The second most rational sibling, highly witty and entertaining, extremely determinedWeaknesses: Aloof, stubborn, short temper, her phobias are so bad she once cried hysterically when a pigeon approached her, her English is "a little strange" due to influences of Scottish and French accents
I like her strengths and weaknesses, they balance each other out.
Friends: The only friend I've made for her is Alistair Allaway, a new midwife who she and her brothers treat like family.
That's cool, Oc's don't need a lot of friends, and especially in a story like yours, I feel having more friends would bring your story down because then they have so many characters to protect.
Enemies: None yet, but because her book is tied to another series of mine I might make her butt heads with one of the villains in that series.
Re-using villains and characters is a really smart way of creating a universe and getting more chapters and books going, so good job.
Fears: Ornithophobia (fear of birds) and Herpetophobia (fear of reptiles).
Very irrational and unexepected, but very funny, and I think it could make really comical scenes.
Aspirations: To promote family planning, care for the mothers of Vineridge, and help protect Blackmore.
Seem like very good aspirations for a story like yours.
Looks: Avril is a young woman of Southeast Asian heritage, with wavy walnut colored hair in a pixie cut, upturned hickory colored eyes and dark olive skin. It's revealed she has corectopia, which simply means her pupils are not center, it results in near-sightedness and she wears simple black framed glasses for reading.Avril is the shortest midwife living at Saint Dorothy's, standing 5'1". She's described with a heart shaped face that's soft "like a bunny" while having a voluptuous body, and her brothers note that she is slimming down much to their disappointment.
I like the amount of detail you put into her looks, I can really picture this character. I also like how you put her brothers perspective into her looks, it adds a nice touch to their family dynamic. Lastly, I never knew about corectopia, so I looked it up and that is so interesting. It always makes me happy when people bring awarness to others about certain "birth defects" through Oc's.
Height: 5'1"Weight: 125 lbs. (She's losing weight from biking everywhere)
I like how she is losing weight, because if you were to walk or bike everywhere you went, then of course you would lose weight, just be careful not to make her too skinny, or else she might seem anorexic, and I know that topic is sensative to some readers.
Distinguishing Features: A rather voluptuous body, it makes it hard to buy jeans so she never wears them.
Well how voluptuous is she if she is losing weight?
Clothing: So her midwifery uniform is a non-standard nurse uniform, which consist of a ballerina-length collared aegean blue dress with slits that stop mid-thigh, all black heeled loafers and opaque black stockings, during colder months she also wears a black cape.Her day-to-day clothing consists of shirt dresses and whatever looks good with the day's shirt dress' design. Avril also wears hand-me-downs and thrift store clothes.
I don't have a problem with these clothing, but does she wear these dresses and skirts while riding her bike?
Accessories: Avril usually has a Winchester Model 1897 strapped to her back. Along with this the only jewelry she wears is a simple cross necklace which her father blessed.
Oh my god, I don't know why but I find a nun with a giant pump-action shotgun on her back extremely funny, I love it so much.
Physical Illness: None, other than her corectopia.
Mental Illness: None.
Thank you.
Family: The Reverend Raphael Delacroix (Adoptive Father) and Florence Delacroix (Adoptive Mother) - Avril is very thankful that they took her in even though they already had 4 biological children. She's not afraid to go to them for advice and guidance, and offers her time to help The Reverend with the church.Emerson and Joseph Delacroix (Adoptive Brothers) - The oldest of the Delacroix siblings. Emerson and Joseph tend to very protective of Avril, Emerson more than Joseph. Emerson tends to be the more active protector, while Joseph is constantly checking on Avril's wellbeing. Although he dreads the idea of her getting married, Emerson is ultimately the one who sets her up with her future husband.Lilian and Gavin Delacroix - The middle children, although Lilian is the older twin by 30 whole minutes. Avril spends more time with the twin as they are more laidback, and they have a tendency to spoil her as seen when they each bought 6 Portuguese egg tarts for her.
I like her family, they seem fleshed out and I'm happy to see that there isn't really a hateful relative because I feel like Oc creaters feel the need to add that when they really don't.
Backstory: Avril Delacroix was born on January 19 1987. She was an orphan in Cambodia, being abandoned due to financial troubles. When she was ten months old, she was adopted by The Reverend and his wife.Avril was raised by the Delacroix family after being renamed. Her adoptive mother was a guardian so she was taught all the things a guardian should know, and due to being raised at a convent of midwives grew up around medicine.She went to regular public schools as most private schools in the city were Catholic and the family was Anglican. When she was a junior in high school, she was doing a practice drive with Reverend Delacroix and while performing a left turn a speeding car crashed into her. The driver tried to blame her, but police arrested the driver. In her senior year, Avril performed her first solo exorcism while her brother Lilian was in the other room helping a mother deliver triplets. Avril graduated from Blackmore University with a midwifery certification.
I like her backstory, you explained all the things that the reader needs to know about her character and you cut straight to the point. Good job.
Extra: Most Guardians have tattoos to keep them from being possessed/harmed, but because her adoptive father is a Reverend and she lives in a convent it makes it difficult for spirits and demons to harm her and her family.
It makes sense.
Inspiration: My premise of the story came from blending the plot of a historical drama called Call the Midwife, with an old idea that I made a year ago.Avril's characterization came from when I would walk to school while listening to music. NCT 127's two songs "Superhuman" and "Highway to Heaven" gave me images of a image of a girl in a slitted dress dealing with issues by herself, then happy family sitting around laughing after dealing with a monster. I made her a Cambodian adoptee because I'm also Cambodian (as my username suggests), but I don't speak the language and feel very distant from the culture due to the lack of a vast community in the place I live in, I felt I might as well have been adopted since the knowledge I have on the culture is basically a few things here and there. So yeah I made her the same ethnicity as me out my own insecurity.
I think the inspiration behinf your Oc is so amazing, because I deal with the same problem as you. I'm Dominican, but I was born and raised in the United States, and I feel like I'm not as connected with my culture as I should be, so I created my Oc that was more involved into the culture, just like you did. I feel like a lot of people who come from immigrant families, will be able to connect to you and your character, which is something you can really touch into and utilize.
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Well that is it for Avril Delacroix. Thank you so much @Bokukkokhmer I really really like your character and it shows that you took time to really flesh out her character and make her likeable and real. Very very good job, I am impressed haha, and I can't wait to review Samuel Kohler next. That's that Space Cats <3