Art: Artist Not Found
3rd Person
"How is she?"
Katara didn't look at her brother as she slumped down into the grass beside the firepit. "She still won't eat," Katara huffed. Her hands trembled as she reached out to make herself a bowl of dinner. "Or speak," she added, a mixture of aggravation and worry coating her tone.
A silence fell over the group. Sokka's eyes sank to the bowl in his lap as his right, blood-stained hand twitched.
The youngest waterbender had just left the tent, which now housed her catatonic, older sister. After her episode, only Sokka had been able to get her off the ground, but not much else could be done for her after that.
The tension was so thick it could have been cut by a knife.
Sokka's focus was disrupted by a pair of soft, thin hands covering his own with a damp rag. "You won't help her by not eating either," said Suki as she cleaned the dried blood from his hands.
Suki appeared to be the only person who was able to catch some of their breath. She was trying her best to help. However, looking around the campsite, it was like watching a slow-motion catastrophe.
Aang could not settle, looking for anything and everything to distract himself from what was happening. Toph's head was turned permanently towards Kida's tent, her hand laying flat on the ground but never saying exactly what it was she was listening for. Strangely, Katara was the most contentious, a persistent scowl on her face and shoulders strung tighter than a bowstring. Zuko was maybe the worst to look at. He was just as eerily silent as Kida.
Sokka's hands finally cleaned up, Suki replaced the wet cloth with a refreshed bowl of warm food.
Sokka stared down at the new bowl for a silent beat. Then, without thought, a low mumble suddenly fell out of his mouth. "It's happening again."
The air got thicker.
"What-" Suki hesitated as she debated if she should ask or not. "What is happening again?"
Sokka shook his head back and forth, reluctant to speak, but his voice came out nonetheless. "After our mother..."
Katara's head snapped up. Her eyes narrowed, and she glowered at her brother over the hungry flames. Feeling the prickles of her gaze, he slowly looked up from his hands to meet her stare. He stopped speaking immediately. The firelight brought deep shadows to her face, which aged and morphed her features to remind him hauntingly of his older sister.
What made the Water Tribe special was its sense of community. However, tradition still rivaled in that certain family matters were to remain private.
The pair of siblings stayed silent for what felt like a near-solid minute before Sokka broke his gaze away. "You know, it feels like forever since we've camped like this."
No one knew how to respond at first. How could they? They had all suffered minor whiplash from the sudden change of subject. Aang was fairly grateful for this, though. He would take any excuse to break the tension.
A careful smile spread across the Avatar's face as he perked up. "You're right. It really seems like old times," he agreed.
Zuko spoke up for the first time in a strangely joking tone. "If you really want it to feel like old times, I could, uh," he broke the piece of bread in his hands before looking up at Aang, "chase you around a while and try to capture you." A smile cracked onto his lips as the rest of the group broke into laughter – all except one.
Katara's eyes had dropped back into the golden embers at the base of the flames. She muttered darkly to herself, "Ha, ha." No one seemed to notice, or no one wanted to notice.
As the laughter died out, Sokka held up his cup. "To Zuko! Who knew after all those times he tried to snuff us out, today he'd be our hero?"
Everyone except Katara brought their cups up into the air. "Hear! Hear!"
Zuko smiled once more as Toph threw a friendly punch at his arm. "I'm touched." His smile hitched. "I don't deserve this." His gaze drifted off towards the tent Katara had just left.
"Yeah, no kidding," the young waterbender grumbled. She got to her feet and spun away on her heel.
No one spoke. No one was sure what to say. They all had an aching in their chest that told them they knew why she was upset, but they couldn't admit it. Oddly, Zuko was the one to get to his feet and, without a word, followed after her.
More silence fell over them all. The tension was back, and no amount of subject changing would break it.
Zuko would have gotten away with letting Katara walk off without a word. It would have been easy, but that promise he made himself resurfaced. As long as Kida wasn't around, he'd watch after her siblings, and Kida very obviously was not around right now.
He followed her through the waving grass. The brisk salty wind whipped through their hair and tugged at their tunics. They had broken past the warm glow of camp and were only guided by stars and the nearly full moon. Katara finally came to a halt. "Why are you following me?"
"You don't look like you should be alone," he answered simply.
She spun around, her face twisted into a sneer. "You're taking care of the wrong sister."
His jaw ticked. "I'm taking care of who she would take care of."
"I am sick of people taking care of me," Katara spat. She turned away, her eyes falling across the choppy waves that beat against the beach on what was a relatively calm night. Deep down, she wondered if they had anything to do with her sister. "If she would have stopped taking care of me for five minutes, then maybe I wouldn't have to talk to you."
"I thought we were past this," Zuko huffed. "Everyone else seems to trust me now! What is it with you?"
She turned back, her eyes so livid that she looked startlingly like Kida. "Oh, everyone trusts you now! I was the first person to trust you!" Her hand pressed to her chest. "Remember, back in Ba Sing Se." She pointed to the ocean, to the faraway land she spoke about. "And you turned around and betrayed me, betrayed all of us! You betrayed her."
Katara's eyes fell to the grass, and Zuko felt his chest crack open. "She might have forgiven you, but I won't. She has protected me from everything my whole life, so I owe her to protect her at least once. I'll protect her from you."
Zuko's eyes ignited, and she saw the anger about to pour out, but she went on before it could, "You didn't watch her fall apart after you left. You didn't see her become completely enveloped by her grief. I was scared of her. I was scared of my own sister - and I was scared for her - because she was furious, and she was heartbroken. You didn't watch her completely give up on love. And if you're going to stand here instead of helping her now, then I don't have time for you."
Zuko had to close his eyes. He couldn't look at the girl who looked so similar to the woman he loved. He couldn't look at one of the only people he knew she'd ever put above him. "I can't help her, but I might be able to help you. Please, what can I do to make it up to you?"
"You really want to know? Hmm," she began to stomp towards Zuko, "maybe you could reconquer Ba Sing Se in the name of the Earth King. Maybe you could bring my mother back! Or, I know! Maybe you could actually try to help Kida."
Katara stormed away, bumping his shoulder as she passed. He raised an arm as if he meant to turn around reach for her, but he never did. He was still trying to process. Maybe he just wasn't cut out for being apart of this family. The only person who ever wanted him there was currently crying over another man and going through something he couldn't quite comprehend. What was he supposed to do?
***
Later that night, as the waves crashed against the rocky walls of the cliffside and the campsite began to drift off to sleep, Zuko made his way towards a dimly lit tent. Two silhouettes could be seen in the flickering candlelight – a kneeling figure of a young girl and her sleeping sister whom she watched over.
He knew he should check on her, but he couldn't. He couldn't so much as force himself to move. He simply stood there like a statue, his eyes glossed over.
"Zuko?"
The voice broke his attention. He turned only to come face to face with Suki. She watched him oddly. Her eyes left him to look at the tent, and she hastily realized whose it was. "You should check on her. I'm sure she'd appreciate it."
"I actually meant to talk to Sokka," he sighed, finally fully turning his body away.
"Oh? I was- I mean..." The Kyoshi Warrior began to stutter, her face going bright red.
"Did you need to talk to Sokka, too?"
"Nope, not me!" she assured at a volume an octave higher than her own. She gave a large, rubbery grin before twisting on her heel to scamper back to her tent. Zuko watched after her as she hurried away. He had a bad feeling he had just interrupted something. Nonetheless, he let the thought roll off him with a shrug.
Before he started to look for Sokka, he threw one last fleeting glance behind him, where the two girls were housed. A heavy sigh left his mouth before he tried to push aside his busy mind. She didn't need to see him. He was certain of it.
Zuko resumed his previous mission and made his way to Sokka's tent. He pushed back the flap of the door and stepped inside only to wish he hadn't. The Water Tribe boy laid on a mat with a rose in his mouth, surrounded by candles. "Well, hello..." Sokka's eyes went large when he realized who had entered the tent, accidentally beginning to choke on the rose. "Uh, Zuko! Yes, why would I be expecting anyone different?" Sokka painfully swallowed the rose petals and thorns with a cough as he sat up. "So what's on your mind?"
"Your sister. She hates me!" Zuko claimed. "And I don't know why, but I do care what she thinks of me."
Sokka looked at the prince, puzzled. "Which one are we talking about here?"
"Katara," Zuko answered as if it were obvious.
"Why are you asking about her?"
"What do you mean? I just said-"
"Well, I do have another sister..." Sokka sat straighter as a glower formed in his eyes. "You know the one you're dating, the one who just had an emotional breakdown."
"I don't think she wants to talk to me."
"And Katara does?"
Aggravation seeped into Zuko's words as he hissed, "But I can actually help Katara."
Sokka scoffed, bitterly amused. "What makes you think that?"
"I know this may seem out of nowhere," Zuko spoke carefully, "but I want you to tell me what happened to your mother."
"What?" Sokka's eyes dimmed of all light before his gaze dropped to the ground. "Why would you want to know that?"
"Katara mentioned it before when we were imprisoned together in Ba Sing Se, and again just now when she was yelling at me. I think somehow she's connected her anger at that to her anger at me."
"And I mentioned it when we were talking about Kida," Sokka pressed.
Zuko shook his head rapidly. "I'm not talking about her."
"Why not!" Sokka snapped. "She's a mess, and you're in here asking me about my mother? It's taken me a long time to trust you, but I've always known you loved my sister. I've always trusted you with her, even if I wouldn't admit it. Are you telling me I was wrong?"
"No, just-" Zuko stopped. He pinched his eyes shut and took a deep breath. "Please, Sokka," he begged, leaning forward, "let me just help Katara for now. That's what she'd want, right? She always puts you and Katara ahead of her. I'm doing what she would do."
Sokka shook his head as he folded his arms over his chest. He kept his eyes on the ground as he debated if he should actually speak or not. How could he deny help for one of his sisters, even if it wasn't the one he thought Zuko should be helping?
"It's not a day I like to remember," he sighed.
Sokka went on to tell Zuko everything he could remember about the day he had lost his mother, including which flags the ships flew. This information was enough for Zuko. He knew exactly how to find the people responsible for their mother's death, and he also knew who to tell about it. And, the next morning, he did exactly that.
His first instinct had been to run in and tell her right away after he had gotten this information. It was late by the time he'd left Sokka's. Everyone was asleep, including Kida and Katara. He had nearly forgotten they were sharing a tent.
He had pushed back the door of the tent and froze. Directly on the ground was Katara, her eyes closed as sleep drowned her. Her arm was the only thing outside of the covers. It was propped up, and his eyes followed its path until another arm hung over it, hugging it to a chest. Their fingers were interlaced, both of Kida's arms wrapped around her sister's arm in a way that looked natural. He had a feeling this was how they slept once before, and he could imagine the little family, including Sokka, all bundled together in one small, Water Tribe tent, Kida hugging them like this, protecting them even in her sleep, even beyond her nightmares.
Zuko stepped back out of the tent. His information could wait. They both needed their rest. He started towards the tent he agreed to share with Aang but paused. His eyes went back to the canvas, which blocked the two sleeping girls.
What if something happened? What if Kida wasn't in the right mindset to protect them? He knew she wasn't. Maybe if they'd been a little more alert that morning, if they had only been a little more prepared, then she wouldn't have to keep protecting all of them.
He sighed and found a comfortable enough looking rock to perch on. They could all rest. He'd watch out for them tonight.
***
The morning came, and Zuko shared his information with Katara. The Southern Raiders, that was the group responsible for her mother's death. It was only a matter of figuring out where they were stationed, and then they could find the man who had done it.
Katara was on board within a second.
Later that day, Aang was feeding Appa – Sokka fiddling with a flower necklace nearby – as Katara and Zuko approached.
"I need to borrow Appa," Katara spoke bluntly as she stomped forward.
Aang glanced at them over his shoulder before letting a smile come across his face. "Why? Is it your turn to take a little field trip with Zuko?"
"Yes, it is," Katara declared.
Aang's smile fell as he heard her dark tone. "Oh." He turned to study the pair once more. Suspicion crept over him as he looked at Zuko, who carried a sack slung over his shoulder. "What's going on?"
"We're going to find the man who took my mother from me," Katara declared. Sokka looked up at these words. He tossed the necklace aside before standing up to join the conversation.
"Sokka told me the story of what happened," Zuko informed. "I know who did it, and I know how to find him."
"Um," Aang looked between the pair, startled, "and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?"
Katara shook her head with dismay, tisking to herself as a bitter smile stretched her lips. "I knew you wouldn't understand." Heat grew in her chest as she turned to stalk away.
"Wait! Stop!" Aang called after her, taking a step in her direction. "I do understand. You're feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?"
"She needs this, Aang," Zuko spoke. "This is about getting closure and justice."
"I don't think so. I don't think either of you actually care about any of this, not right now at least," Aang persisted. "You're both just upset because of what's happening to Kida-"
Zuko's hand balled into a tight fist, his chest swelled, inches away from snapping, but Katara beat him to it.
The waterbender spun around to face the Avatar as anger flared in her eyes. At that moment, her irises were as bright and as sharp as Kida's, and it scared everyone that looked at them. "Fine, maybe it is!" Katara snarled.
"Maybe I need someone to be angry at," she went on. "Maybe I need something to fix. Maybe I just want to hurt someone as badly as she's hurting right now. She has shielded me from everything my whole life, and the one time she needed me, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't save Takumi. I wouldn't fight Azula the way she would. I was useless. So yeah, maybe I'm upset about Kida."
Silence had fallen over the three boys. Aang had never seen Katara so livid and wasn't sure how to respond. Zuko was taken back at how similar to her sister she looked at that moment. Meanwhile, Sokka, the brother to the only waterbenders left in the South Pole, recognized the look in his little sister's eyes all too well.
In the end, Sokka was the only one daring enough to step forward. "Katara," he spoke cautiously, "we both know she wouldn't want you to do this."
"No, you're right," Katara agreed, shaking her head. "She'd want to do this herself, but she can hardly speak right now. So, I'll do it for her."
"She would kill that man in cold blood without a second thought," Sokka hissed.
"That's what he did to our mother!" Katara bellowed, her face growing red.
"No, Katara, you aren't hearing me!" Sokka finally snapped. "Everything Kida has done for us; it's been so we don't have to have blood on our hands. I've already lost one sister to this. I'm not going to lose another. I won't! I refuse."
"Now that I know he's out there." Katara paused as she shook her head, trying to push back threatening, hot tears. "Now that I know we can find him, I feel like I have no choice."
"Katara," Aang took another, wary step forward, "you do have a choice: forgiveness."
"That's the same as doing nothing!" muttered Zuko.
"No, it's not." The young monk shook his head. "It's easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive."
"It's not just hard," Katara growled, "it's impossible." She turned, her hair whipping in the strong wind, and stormed away. Zuko slunk behind her.
***
Things were still tense in the camp that night. The group sat around the fire once more to eat. The light of the flames licked their faces as the nearly full moon shined above them. Everyone was silent. The tension was too high, and this time no one had a sharp enough blade to cut it.
Abruptly, amidst the silence, a scream broke out from the only occupied tent. Everyone sat straight and went on high alert as Kida came dashing out of the shelter.
"Where am I?" she yelped. Her panicked eyes fell over the group as they stared at her. "Who-"
Katara was the closest and stood up to try to calm her. "Kida, you're safe, it's okay," she urged.
"Get away from me!" Kida roared as she tried to shove the girl away. She didn't manage to touch her as Sokka had gotten there just in time to subdue her reach.
He grabbed her arms in both hands and kept them pushed down. He pulled her close to him as he tried to force her to focus only on him. "Sh, sh," he cooed. "It's okay, Kida."
"Bane?" she mumbled as she stared at her brother's face.
Pain flashed across Sokka's features, but he pushed it aside as he smiled and nodded. "Yeah, it's me, Bane."
A loud cry ripped abruptly from her mouth. She pulled free of his hands only to wrap her arms around his neck. "Bane!" she exclaimed. "Bane, she's gone."
Sokka's hands trembled as he held his older sister tight to his chest. He tried to keep his voice still but only managed out a small mumble. "Who's gone?"
"My mother," she wept. "They killed her, Bane." She pinched her eyes closed and held onto him tighter. "When I got back, they were everywhere. A man was leaving our house...I went in... There was so much blood. Her eyes-" Kida choked on her sobs as she gripped him tighter.
Sokka's eyes were becoming foggy as his tears dripped into her tangled hair. His limbs had gone numb as he held her. He didn't know what to do.
"I should have been there," she croaked. "I should have protected her."
Sokka's throat burned as he spoke in a monotone. He was never really certain how he managed to get the words out. "It's not your fault. You were only twelve-"
"Sokka and Katara could have been hurt," she hissed. "And I was practicing bending!"
"They're fine."
"I swear," she lifted her face up to shake her head rapidly, "I'm not letting this happen again," she declared. "I'm not letting someone die because I couldn't save them." Her body shook as another sob racked her body. "Why couldn't I save her?"
Sokka held her tighter as she dug her face deeper into his neck. His watering eyes finally pulled off of the ground and looked to the crumpled visage of his younger sister.
Katara's jaw was tight, but her fists were tighter. She looked terrifyingly similar to Kida once again. "We're leaving tonight, end of discussion," she declared. With nothing left to say and not able to keep watching her trembling sister, Katara twisted on her heel and stormed away.
Silence remained behind her, the only sounds being that of the crackling fire and Sokka's cooing into his older sibling's ear.
As Katara had said, that night, she and Zuko left on Appa, this time with little to no argument from Aang or Sokka.
Sokka might have argued, but he was too busy trying to calm Kida once again. She never quite understood what was going on, but he could eventually get her to lie down again until she went back to sleep.
The whole time he did this, his fingers trembled, and he had to work extra hard to keep his voice steady. The only image in his mind was the one she had described, the one he never once imagined before, the one he never knew she had witnessed.
When he finally emerged from the tent – Katara and Zuko already long gone – he found the blind girl, the Avatar, and the Kyoshi Warrior staring at him.
"Sokka..." Aang trailed off as he tried to think of the right words. "Did you know?"
For once, the Water Tribe warrior couldn't keep up his farce. His expression crumbled. Water instantly pooled in his eyes as he collapsed to his knees. One hand propped up his body as the other was slapped across his eyes to try to cover the tears. Sobs racked out of his mouth as he shook his head side-to-side.
Suki, Aang, and Toph jumped to their feet before enveloping him in hugs and mutters of assurance. None of it helped, no matter how hard they tried. How could it? How could their words help Sokka? How could Sokka help his sister? It seemed every day they kept finding more and more evidence that Kida was damaged beyond repair.
He was beginning to wonder how she even recovered the first time. How could a child ever get over seeing their dead parent, from seeing their blood soak the floor? He knew the answer. She hadn't. Kida was beginning to make a lot more sense, and it was unbearable.
***
The trip to the Fire Navy communication tower was short and tense. Katara never took her eyes off of the dark horizon. Zuko would have thought she had become a statue if she had not moved so fluidly when they landed.
They had come and gone with the information they needed with such ease that Zuko made a note to update security measures once this war was over.
Before long, they were back on the bison and headed to Wailtail Island.
It wasn't a comfortable trip. It would take the rest of the night and the next day to travel to the island with very little time or space to land in between.
Neither of them was ready to rest for the first few hours. The adrenaline from sneaking around, and the knowledge of what was to come, was still pumping in their veins. A few other topics were also on their minds.
"Katara, can I ask you something?"
Her back shifted. Zuko watched her chin rise and the corner of her eye graze over him, but she never responded.
Deciding the absence of a dispute was good enough, Zuko proceeded. "Who is Bane?"
Katara perked up. She turned back to get a full view of the boy. A deep furrow was set into her brow as she searched for something on Zuko's face. It was as if she was trying to figure out if he meant what he asked. When she found the answer she was looking for, her eyes widened. "She never told you about him?"
Something about this response sat wrong with Zuko. He shifted his weight. "She mentioned him. She said they were childhood friends and that they dated for a while." Some relief formed on Katara's face, but Zuko wasn't sure if he felt any relief himself. "But the way you all acted when she said his name... I feel like I'm missing something."
Katara stared at Zuko a moment longer, once again surveying him. This time she wasn't searching for sincerity. She was looking for his resilience. How much information could she give? How much would Kida give?
Katara knew the answer to the latter. Kida would give no information if she could get away with it.
Bane had to be the one to tell everyone when they had started dating. Kida had been perfectly content with pretending that nothing had changed, purely to get out of questions.
"He was like another brother to me," said Katara, turning forward to face the dark waves once again. "When we were really young, Sokka and I even thought he actually was our brother since we never saw him around his own family very much. His father ran off a long time ago, and his mother, well...Mika wasn't really the same after he left.
"He and Kida were inseparable. There wasn't ever one without the other. They argued a lot, but I think Bane just enjoyed teasing her to see her reactions. So, I guess, it never really surprised me when she told me they were engaged."
Katara stopped. She waited to hear something behind her. She figured he would yell or maybe cry or at least say something.
The silence finally became too much, and she began to wonder if he'd jumped off the bison. She would have heard him land in the water, right?
When she looked back, she found that the prince had not, in fact, gone for a swim. He still sat in the saddle. His arms were crossed over his chest. His eyes were firmly placed on the gradually brightening water, watching the way the light fluttered on the crests from the faintly growing sun.
She couldn't read the expression on his face. It was somehow both shocked and not surprised at the same time. He had known something big had to be coming, but he hadn't quite imaged that.
"She never said it ended between them," he finally spoke. "She only said he went off to war. I'm assuming he's still alive."
Katara nodded slowly then decided he would probably appreciate a verbal answer. "Yes, he is. We met with him and the rest of the men from our tribe after Ba Sing Se."
His head snapped up. "After Ba Sing Se?"
Katara heard the alarm in his voice. She was half-tempted to laugh - she nearly did. He really didn't realize just how in love with Zuko Kida was. "Honestly, I don't think you have to worry about anything having happened between them." Katara turned forward again. "She would barely speak to him. We were all a bit disappointed by it, really. I figured if anyone could help her get over you, it would be him. I was wrong."
There was a small break of silence. It was a lot of information, and Katara was allowing Zuko to soak it all in.
A new thought came to her. "I don't know if she told him about you, though." She glanced once more and saw Zuko's brow furrowed. "It wouldn't have worked out well for her back then. You were a loyal prince to the enemy. I'm not sure if even Bane could have been that forgiving. Then again," she sighed with a shrug, "he might have told her no a lot, but he was prone to not following through."
There was another beat of silence. This one was longer, and Katara thought it meant the conversation was over. Zuko still had more questions.
"What about this Takumi? Do you know anything about him?"
"Honestly?" Katara looked back at Zuko. "No. I don't think I ever properly met him."
"Then what..." Zuko didn't even know what question to ask; there were too many muddling his brain.
Katara shrugged, not knowing either. "I'm not sure. I think she spent two days with him and his little sister. I wasn't really paying attention then."
"How can he mean that much to her in two days?"
"I don't know if he does," she admitted. Zuko frowned, and she went on. "I could barely sleep last night just thinking about his body. I've seen sick people, and I've seen the bodies of people who have passed, all cleaned up and prepared for final ceremonies."
She shook her head slowly, words becoming hard to form in her drying throat. "I've never seen someone die. I've never seen a mangled body or the life leave their eyes like that. That was the first..." She swallowed hard, her eyes fading away from Zuko's face. "I'm not sure how many times she's seen it, and I can't imagine it ever gets easier."
***
"We'll find him, Katara," Zuko assured as they remounted the flying bison.
They had already found the commander of the Southern Raiders, but he hadn't been the man who killed her mother. Now they were being redirected to find another man named Yon Rha, the former leader of the Southern Raiders who retired four years prior.
"I know." Her voice was low and calm – a frightening reaction to the disappointment they had just received.
Silence fell over them as they soared through the night sky once more. Zuko sat at the helm, directing them to the village where it was said Yon Rha lived. His eyes were not always on the horizon, often drifting up towards the pale disk in the sky which lit their path.
Zuko still wasn't entirely sure what to say or do. If he had seen such viciousness coming from Kida, it would have just been another day. He fell in love with the woman who first greeted him with an arrow to the arm – at this point, he was beginning to wonder if he was a masochist. Now, however, it felt wrong to see such brutishness.
More than once, he'd been on the other end of one of Katara's attacks, and he knew she was capable but the power he had just seen... It wasn't like her at all. It was silent and unseen stealth; it was knocking a whole ship of men off a deck with one wave; it was bloodbending. It was Kida.
Katara had bloodbent right in front of Zuko. It was a full moon, and she was a powerful waterbender. If she was capable, then there was no issue, right? So why did it feel like he had failed?
Deep down, he knew what Kida's reaction would be. She'd be enraged. How dare he let her sister do something so dangerous? How dare he not turn around right now and bring her right back to Aang and Sokka? He had meant to protect her, but how was this protecting?
The easy answer, it wasn't. He wasn't protecting her; he was doing what needed to be done. Maybe if Kida had coddled her brother and sister a little less, then she wouldn't have to take on everything on her own. Maybe they all needed a little bit of her ferocity.
After several minutes of silence, Zuko finally spoke. His mind was racing too fast with questions to keep silent. "You can bend people's bodies too, then?"
For a moment, he wasn't sure if she would answer, until finally, "It's called bloodbending," she mumbled, "and yes."
"Did Kida teach you?" he inquired next, not turning to look at her in fear of her reaction.
"No," she answered sharply. Katara glared at the back of his head. Her chest bubbled with heat. However, it began to cool unintentionally as she thought about his question. She took her eyes off the prince to look at the hands which she had just used to bend a man's blood – to bend his will. "I'm not nearly as good at it as she is either. I can only do it on a full moon."
Katara rang out her hands. Her eyes flicked to the black ocean that swelled below them. "I don't know where she learned it, actually. I've only ever known one other person who could do it, and that was the woman who taught me – she could only do it on a full moon too."
"Kida does have a spiritual advantage," Zuko spoke up.
Katara glanced up at him just in time to see his gaze over his shoulder snap forward again. "I don't think it has anything to do with being spiritual," Katara sighed. "It's like being able to produce lightning – only the best can do it, and only the very best can do it whenever they please. My sister is just that strong."
The waterbender heard as a long sigh fell from the prince's mouth before his head bobbed with a nod. "Yeah, she is strong."
"Which is why her behavior now is so terrifying," Katara commented. She watched and noted Zuko's reaction. His shoulders stiffened, and his head tilted as if he were looking down. It was the first time she really noticed him responding to what was happening with her sister. "It's difficult to see strong people broken. It means that if the world can break them, then you know it can break you too."
"That's not what bothers me about this," Zuko grunted.
"Yeah? Well, it's what bothered me the last time it happened," Katara admitted.
Zuko sat straighter before twisting around to look at the young girl. "Your brother mentioned that. That it happened before, I mean. What exactly happened?"
"Our mother died," Katara answered bluntly. Her eyes broke off of him to return to the ocean, using it as a mirror to look into a time long passed. "I don't remember it as well as Sokka does. He's the one who took care of her. I was more in shock about our mother, and I was very young. Originally we thought it was just because she had died, now I guess..." Katara squeezed her eyes shut only to see the image her sister had described. She shook her head, trying to shake it away before forcing her eyes open again.
"It was similar to how she's acting now," Katara went on. "She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't speak, she barely got out of bed. On occasions, she would have fits, mumbling about spirits and the forest or how she should have been there for the raid.
"For a while, we thought she was going to be like that permanently, but then one day she just..." Katara shook her head, her mouth open with unspoken words for several seconds before she shrugged and went on, "got better. She just stood back up. No one knows why or how. Now that I know what really happened, I'm even more surprised she got up." She swallowed hard and fiddled with the sleeve of her black robe. "That's what Kida has always done, though. She doesn't rely on other people. She's strong. She always gets back up again, and a lot of times, the reason is so she can be our shield."
Katara's words drifted into the wind and left Zuko somehow more uncertain. How could he save the girl who always saved everyone else? How could he help the girl who felt it was her job to carry the world on her shoulders?
***
Rain pelted the cave that Katara and Zuko had found to take refuge and hide Appa. They decided to wait the storm out before they took to the sky, lightning every now and then brightening the whole of the cavern.
Silence had clung to the air ever since they'd left the sniveling man in the mud. They had found Yon Rha, the man who had killed her mother, and Katara had acted with vengeful wrath.
The things she had done, he was still thinking about. The way she had stopped the rain and created a dome above them, it had been a moment of peace before the true storm. He had watched as she twisted her arms, and the shield dissolved into three forceful steams of water before breaking apart into a flurry of icy daggers.
Zuko had gone completely speechless at that moment because once again, familiarity held him in place. It was only two days ago that he had seen Kida do the same move against his own sister. And just like Kida, Katara let shards of ice liquefy and fall to the ground. Her change of mind had been for a different reason, though.
"I'm not her," he heard Katara mumble under her breath as her arms fell. He wasn't sure she had even meant to say it out loud.
Yon Rha had gone on to blubber and beg, but this wasn't the reason she showed mercy. Her words were harsh, but she didn't lift her arms against him again. As he continued to plea at her feet, she turned and walked away.
Zuko had enough sense not to speak until spoken to. He was almost grateful for the storm as it filled the silence neither of them would acknowledge.
While they wouldn't be there long and it wasn't too cold, he decided to busy himself by building a small fire between them. Katara hadn't taken her eyes off of the flames since he lit it.
"I'm not her."
Zuko brought his head up from the rations he'd been sifting through to look at the waterbender. He hadn't been entirely sure she had actually spoken. Her eyes were still glued to the dancing twist of heat, her arms wrapped around her legs and her chin resting on top of her knees.
"I'm not her," she repeated, and this time Zuko saw her lips move. He put the bag down and took a seat on the other side of the pit. He was going to speak, but she went on without him. "I couldn't have saved Takumi, I couldn't have saved our mother, and I can't save her," she forcefully unlocked her jaw to suck in a long breath, "because I'm not like her.
"I can't bloodbend without a full moon. I can barely bring myself to bloodbend even when I am capable of it. I'm too weak." A laugh that came from anything but humor tore out of her mouth like a cry. "I can't even kill our mother's killer."
She straightened her spine, pulling her head off of her knees. "I'm not her. I don't know how to be her, and that's not fair. Why does she have to make all of the hard choices for us? Why does she have to get blood on her hands and have to witness death and have to have nightmares-"
Zuko perked up. "How do you know about those?"
Her eyes finally tore away from the flames to look up at their creator. "I heard you guys the other night in the courtyard," Katara admitted. "I heard her crying. You helped her through it. You knew what to do it. I can't even do that."
He shook his head, giving a small, half-hearted shrug. "I'm prone to nightmares too, that's all."
Katara pursed her lips, staring at him long and hard. He felt like he was under some sort of intense scrutiny, but when she spoke, he knew he wasn't the one she was judging. "You know, I think I can count how many nightmares I remember having on my hands." She gulped down a shaky breath. "And they always end the same way. She's always right there next to me when I wake up, calming me down. She's protected me all of my life."
She shook her head so hard that it should have caused brain damage. "I am so sheltered. And I'm scared because I can't do what she does, and I can't make Sokka do it - it wouldn't be fair. So where does that leave us if she never gets better or even if she does? How could we keep making her protect us?"
"You can't make her do anything," Zuko spoke up, ending her one-sided tirade. Her head snapped up as if she just then remembered Zuko was there. "It's Kida. You're her sister. She's going to protect you until her dying breath."
Katara's teeth jammed together once more. "That's what I'm afraid of. She's going to be just like Takumi and get herself killed. She already almost did once!"
"She isn't dead right now," Zuko snapped, startling Katara. Zuko huffed out a breath and stood up, going back to their rations. "Whatever happens, we'll deal with it." He pulled an apple from the bag. "You're safe for now."
She watched him take a step back towards her before he tossed the fruit in her direction. She caught it with both hands and stared at its ruby red face bizarrely. "Eat," he instructed. "You haven't eaten anything all day, and it doesn't look like we'll be out of here anytime soon."
He sat back down, this time dropping down beside Appa to use the animal as a soft backrest. He crossed his arms over his chest and stretched out his long legs. He could feel Katara's gaze the whole time he moved. Instead of trying to find some interest in the ceiling of the cave, he let his eyes fall closed.
"I didn't poison it," he grumbled, getting tired of feeling her suspicion from the other side of the room.
There was another beat of silence, then a crisp crunch. If Zuko's eyes were open, he would have rolled them, but instead, the corner of his mouth quirked up.
Katara turned her eyes down the apple she had just taken a bite from. She supposed that answered her questions.
***
After the rain had passed, they remounted Appa and took off again. Instead of returning to the cove, Zuko decided Katara could use a break and some alone time. They had passed Ember Island during their travels, and he brought her back there to his family's former summer home.
Zuko was trying to help her, but he knew that he wasn't the person she needed at that moment.
The sun was setting by the time he arrived on the island again, the Avatar in tow. The minute they landed, Aang took off down the dock where they saw the waterbender paddling her feet in the water, deep thought carrying her miles away.
"Katara? Are you okay?" Aang called as he rushed to her.
When she responded, Zuko couldn't help but find himself slightly envious of him. "I'm doing fine."
"Zuko told me what you did." Aang scratched the back of his head. "Or what you didn't do, I guess." A soft smile lit his face. "I'm proud of you."
Katara didn't smile. "I wanted to do it," she admitted, not a single once of doubt or deception in her tone. "I wanted to take out all my anger at him, but I couldn't. I don't know if it's because I'm too weak to do it or because I'm strong enough not to."
"You did the right thing," Aang assured. "Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing."
Katara rose from the dock to face the boy. "But I didn't forgive him. I'll never forgive him." Katara paused as she brought her eyes to the firebender. She opened her mouth, then rethought and bit her lip, swallowing her words back down. She turned her head away, only giving Zuko a stiff nod before continuing down the dock.
Zuko sighed. "I guess it's a family thing to not admit when they're wrong."
Aang took a step forward to stand beside the teenager. His brow furrowed as he stared after the girl. "No, it's really not," Aang muttered.
Zuko glanced at the boy but decided not to ask. "Either way, you were right about what Katara needed. Violence wasn't the answer."
"It never is," sighed the monk.
"Then I have a question for you." Zuko turned to face the Avatar. "What are you gonna do when you face my father?"
The airbender's face became pallid. He grew rooted in his spot, staring up at the prince. "I don't- I never-" he stuttered out.
"Yeah, I had a feeling you hadn't thought about it before," Zuko sighed, turning his face away again. "Maybe you should."
Zuko continued down the dock, leaving the Avatar still frozen in a cold sweat behind him.
"What did you say to him?" Katara inquired as he met her beside Appa.
Zuko shook his head, glancing once at the rooted boy at the end of the pier. "Something he needed to hear."
Katara opened her mouth, but Aang interrupted. He had managed to unfreeze and came trotting back towards them. He was still quite shaken, but he was trying to push past it. "So, back to the cove?" Aang inquired, his eyes blinking rapidly.
"Actually, you should go get the others. We can stay here for a while," Zuko told Aang. "Trust me. No one's going to be coming around this place any time soon."
Aang nodded. "Okay, but..." Aang's eyes fell on Katara, "I'll go alone. You two should rest, especially you, Katara."
It wasn't until she saw the anxious look on the Avatar's face that she became alert. "Why would you say that? Did something happen?"
Aang raised his hands defensively and shook his head quickly. "No, not really, it's just... you're gonna need to talk to Sokka. He's looking almost as bad as Kida lately after what she said. We've tried but-"
A sigh left her mouth as her fear subsided to a more bearable degree. Katara reached out a hand to place on the boy's shoulder. "It's okay, Aang, this is a family matter. You all have done enough for us."
"We're your family, too, Katara," Aang assured with a soft smile. He reached up to layer his hand over hers, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze. "We all support each other."
The sorrow in her blue orbs eased some, her smile growing wider.
"I'll go get them, we'll be back soon," Aang assured. The boy turned and airbent himself onto his bison. He waved rapidly at the water and firebender as he began to rise into the sky.
The pair waved back until eventually, the bison and his owner were only small specks in the sky. A heavy sigh fell out of Zuko's mouth. He turned without a word and strode back down the dock to take the spot Katara had been sitting in. Katara watched after him for a second, seeing as he stared out at the setting sun over the horizon. She swallowed hard before walking forward to sit beside him.
"You know, this doesn't fix anything between us," Katara grumbled, her voice barely loud enough to challenge the waves beating the pilings of the pier.
Zuko's head snapped towards her, his brow knitting together as he glared at the girl who had her nose in the air. "What! I just did all of that so you would finally trust me and-"
"My mother wasn't the reason I don't like you," Katara stated, turning her head only slightly as she looked at him in the corner of her eyes.
"Then what-"
"I told you!" she urged. "It's because you're sitting next to me right now when you should be with my sister. You haven't even tried to speak to her once since all of this happened."
He smashed his mouth shut, his jaw visibly twitching as he ground his teeth. "What could I possibly do for her," he hissed out past his locked jaw.
"I don't know, but you fixed her after the Boiling Rock."
"I didn't do anything. She came to me." Zuko sighed, pulling his burning gaze away. "And she was angry, I understand anger, I don't understand this."
Katara's face had crumpled at his words. She shook her head with heavy shoulders as she also brought her gaze to the water. "I don't either," she admitted, her voice beginning to quiver as she went on. "I haven't seen the amount of death she has, I don't have blood on my hands, and I doubt that you do, either, but I know she needs help."
Katara swallowed hard, trying to force away the burning in her throat. Her eyes fell to her hands in her lap. She twisted and fiddled with her thumbs. "This war is cutting away at her soul, and I don't know how to heal that, and it terrifies me." She began to blink rapidly, attempting with all her might to push back her tears. She wasn't Kida though, she didn't know how to hold in her emotions. "I can't lose my sister."
"I can't lose her either."
Katara's voice was like shattered glass as her words fell from her cries. "But we're going to, aren't we? We're going to lose her."
Zuko looked at the girl who slouched into herself beside him. Tears rolled down her face faster than the waterfalls she could bend. One of her palms rubbed against her chest while the other clutched desperately to the pendant around her neck; the mixture of the actions made it seem as if she were choking herself.
On an instinct he had never had before, he reached over and wrapped his arms as tightly as possible around the quivering girl. "We're gonna fix this," he mumbled into her twisted hair. Her sobs became louder as she gripped tightly to his shirt. "I'm not gonna let anything happen to your sister."