Picture of Luke:
Chapter Two
Now
My knuckles were white as I gripped the steering wheel. Coming back to this city was something I never thought I would be doing and yet here I am about to cross over the city border and into the place that I commonly refer to as 'my past'.
The city of Kingston only brought the worst out of me. It was my past and I would have preferred it if it stayed that way. I grew up just on the outskirts and when I got to college I came into the city on a daily basis. I used to love it here. I knew every single nook and cranny and I made it my business to know every single person who owned a private business.
As those private businesses used to be my main source of income.
Now I hated the place. I may as well have been slicing my throat open with a butter knife because that was easier than this was.
The familiar sign of Kingston, twinned with Strasbourg came into sight as I drove over the hill that led down into the tall, glass buildings that dominated the skyline for miles around.
I found a small road leading off of the main one and parked my car. I best tell Luke I really was coming before I step up on his doorstep, knock on his door and suddenly he was not in. I wanted to spend as little time as possible here so waiting for a few hours while he finishes work was not in my plan at all.
Scrolling down my contacts list I stopped at Luke but my thumb did hover over Lexi's name for a few seconds before I decided it was a bad idea. It was better to have the element of surprise on this one because if she knew I was in town she would blow my whole cover straight away.
He picked up on the first dial. "Jamie?"
"Luke, I am coming. I will be at yours within the next half an hour or so."
"Shit!" He cursed. "Make sure nobody is following you."
I rolled my eyes. Like anyone was still looking out for me now. It had been three years, I am sure they have better things to do. "Obviously," I reassured him, although I had a few times looked in my wing mirror just to double check. It seems that once paranoia kicks in, it never truly goes away no matter how far from the problem you are. "Anyway, are you in?"
"Yeah, it is my day off today. Are you sure you want to do this?"
I sighed, no I was not sure but I had to be because they were my family and they meant more to me than anything. They are all I have got so, despite not wanting to be here at all I still did. "Yes, see you later." I put the phone down and put the car back into drive, making the short journey into the city that held my worst nightmares.
I got out of my car and made sure nobody was watching me before climbing up the three steps that led to my best friend's flat and knocked quickly and let myself in.
His flat was ten minute drive from the centre. He used to have this old flat which was about five minutes' walk and it used to be where we all met up before the night started. Everyone used to go there but as everyone started to know the name - Luke Haworth he had to move because his house was hounded by all sorts of people and it was not ideal.
He had not moved from there though in almost four or five years which was surprising. When we were teenagers, his mum and dad used to move all over the shop.
I stepped into his living room and the smell of old takeaways and something I did not even want to know hit me like a shovel to the face. It was absolutely rancid. "Luke?" I yelled as I stepped back into the small, square hallway and closed the door swiftly. If that smelt horrible, the horror of what his kitchen must smell like seemed almost impossible to comprehend.
He stepped out of the door with a puzzled look on his face, "I was just clearing up the spare bedroom for you, why you standing here?"
I gave him a deadpanned look... which just went over his head. "I know it is a 'bachelor's pad' but do you not know what a mop or vacuum is? Or a bin?" My face was scrunched up at just the thought of having to go back in there.
"Do not be such a wuss!" He laughed and just opened the door, shoving me in with a hefty push that caught me off guard.
I had not seen this guy for almost two years, we spoke on the phone occasionally but it was not the same and I really had missed the guy. We grew up together. Although his parents moved all the time, they never moved far so we used to catch the bus together with another friend, Jay. Rest in Peace. We used to have so many good times on the bus when we used to wind up the bus driver and just act stupid without having to think of the consequences of our actions.
I plonked myself on the sofa, knowing that I best get used to the smell because I knew that Luke would not clean up. The fact that he was clearing out the spare bedroom made me feel honoured somewhat. I bet his mum still did his washing for him.
"Beer?" I nodded my head and caught the Stella that he threw at me with ease. He sat down next to me and switched the television off. "So, what is your plan of action? If you are here it means that you want it to be swift so I have taken the courtesy of booking a few days off work so that I can help you." I gawped at him. "Thank you by the way." He added sarcastically when I did not reply.
I frowned finally, "You should not have done that. I need to do this myself. It will only take a couple of days, five at the most, if a certain somebody becomes stubborn, which I am banking on."
I was grateful that he was willing to help but I needed to do this alone. This was my journey back into hell on Earth and the last thing I needed was people hovering around me all the time and asking if I was okay. It would just distract me and I did not need that.
Besides, I had always worked better alone. I got things done the way I liked them and it meant that I did not need to trust anyone. Sure I trusted Luke, but it was not until a few years ago that I truly did feel enough trust in him so I still felt a little weary going back into this game. Anyway, he had got himself out of it – granted it was due to me – but he still did and the last thing that he needed was to be dragged back in. Nobody deserved it.
"Do not be stupid Jamie." Luke chastised. "You need help and I am willing." I went to shake my head and protest but he just carried on. "No, you listen here. I know the dangers and all that but with me helping, this will be easier. I do not have to get involved in anything too deep but I can help with some stuff like keeping a look out for Lexi or making sure Zak stay's in line. Nothing heavy, but just enough to help take the load off your back."
I leant my head against his black, cotton sofa and closed my eyes for a few moments just to think. He was not going to back down, he had that stubborn look in his eyes. I had to think about this logically, I did need the help so there was nothing wrong because he offered – I did not even have to ask, so I may as well but if anything happens I can just pull him out.
"Right, and thank you." I accepted and took a long sip of my beer.
"So, are we starting today or tomorrow? It is only two in the afternoon so we can start somewhere."
"I need to start today but I am leaving the big one for Wednesday at the earliest. If we start asking around someone is bound to notice us so we have to try and keep as low a profile as possible."
Luke nodded his head. "So where do we start? Your gran's house?"
I scowled, I had not called it my grandmother's house in a long time. For at least the past five years it had been our house, mine, Zak and Lexi's and everybody else that bopped in and out over the years. It was odd hearing him still call it that.
"It has not been that in a long time." I reminded him. "It is Zak and Lexi's house now."
"Don't be pedantic." Luke rolled his eyes unconcerned and I gawped at him. Now that was a posh word, especially for him.
"Where did you learn that?"
He smirked at himself for obviously coming up with it, smart-ass. He tapped his nose with his finger in a 'it is a secret' gesture. "How are you? Twenty-Five or ten?" I chuckled. "Now let's go and see my baby brother and sister."
Luke gulped and did not get up from the settee like I did which made me stall momentarily. "What?" I asked confused. Why was he not moving? He knew I was in a rush.
"I think you should call Lexi or Zak first." He admitted. "You have not seen or spoke to them in three years, they will be shocked and not know what to do."
I shook my head at his suggestion immediately. "I cannot do that. It will jeopardise the whole thing completely. They are not stupid, they know that I will be here for a certain reason and because I have not seen them in three years, they will not tell me anything that may seem suspicious and prepare a lie."
"They are your brother and sister Jamie, why would they lie? Besides you already know what has happened so if they do lie it will not mean much anyway."
"No, I want to see their reaction on their faces when I do turn up." I snapped and he knew it meant to not carry on. I actually managed to get everything off my mind for a half an hour or so but it never last long. You would think after three years you would be able to move on somewhat but I just could not.
Even when I am not in the city and I am back at my flat in Castlepool my mind always ends up back at the same place. It sometimes feels like I do not understand anything that is happening in my life anymore, morbid, grim, depressed they are all me, have been for three years. I have just had to accept that and I am fine with it.
I do not even want to feel anything else. I love my brother and sister and that is it. Anyone else and I will almost feel like I am betraying everything that I ever loved so I don't. I hardly have the right to love anyone anyway.
He got up finally and we both made it out of his flat. Luke locked his door and with a snicker at the look of my car, we both got into his.
The drive to Bridge Avenue, where I used to live, was just jittering knees and my mind whirling around my brain as I thought about what Zak and Lexi's reactions would be. Would they be happy? Angry? I did not know what to expect but I was glad to be able to see them again.
"We are here." Luke announced after a five minute drive.
I looked up the steps of my old childhood home and felt almost ashamed at what I saw. The curtains were shut downstairs and you could see, even from the car that they were not proper curtains, just a blanket or something pinned up.
Upstairs there were no curtains at all. The whole house felt completely different.. and wrong. It used to be such a mumsy, cozy place. The garden was immaculate and so was the house, to my grandmother image was everything and well... now it was a mess.
The grass looked like it had not even been cut in the three years that I had been gone. Zak knew how to use a lawn mower, so why not? What the hell has happened?
I turned to Luke puzzled. Could he even explain what had changed since I had been gone? "What..." Words faulted me. I felt angry knowing that I had to go inside there and face whatever mess and destruction they had caused.
I was physically shaking as I went to open the car, which was when I realised that my fists had clenched unconsciously. Apart from about six photographs, all of them where in there, all of my childhood and all of my old toys that I did not dare get rid of when I was a thirteen year old doing a clear out were in there and I had a gut feeling that it was not going to be the same when I stepped through that front door.
Actually, I believe kicking that door down is more apt with the fury that was building up in me right now.
Luke gave me a wary look, "Calm down, you do not know what has happened." He advised but I only tightened my jaw and got out of the car. It was a bit too late for that.
I stamped up the three steps like I was possessed and ignored anything that were to the sides of me. It hurt to just look at the garden, all I could see was the paint-peeling, blue door with the number five on the front above the door knocker.
I banged with my fist on the door three times and stepped back. Luke was hovering around me and I just counted the seconds until someone answered. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... I grunted and banged again. Patience was never my strong suit.
I was pissed off beyond belief. I should be happy because I was about to see Zak and Lexi again but they brought me here on unhappy reasons. I was not here for a family reunion, it was a lot grimmer than that.
I was going to come into this in a calm manner, sit them both down and just explain to them what I know and how I can help them but the way they have seemed to have treated everything they were given just seemed ungrateful and selfish and it has taken me back to my originally plan of going in there all guns blazing.
Another fifteen or so seconds had passed and they still had not answered. "Where the bloody hell are they?" I stood in front of the window but I could not see behind their, what I now know is a bed sheet, curtain.
I tried the handle but it would not budge. They had locked it, which was a good thing they had actually done because they have not done much.
I faced Luke, "How did you let it get this bad?"
"I have been busy Jamie, you ran as well. Do not take your frustrations out on me."
He had a point but Zak and Lexi were only nineteen and sixteen when I left. They did not even know they whole truth as to why I left because then it would have placed them in more danger than they already were just being related to me and I could not risk that.
I just walked back down the path and got in the car. Luke followed me but looked pissed off, which I knew was because of my comment but he could have at least checked in on them from time to time so that he could have been kept up to date. It was always a 'yeah they are okay' and 'I was talking to them the other day, they are fine'. And until last week I had believed him.
This was not a time for bitching and all that shit, I needed to find Zak. And I was going to strangle the life out of him.
"Where are we going? Back to my place and try again later?" I shook my head at his suggestion. I knew that I had said I needed to keep a low profile but I was mad and I wanted my brother now.
"No, let us just go into the city to try and find him. He is probably still working."
"You want me to drive into the city? It will be faster walking." Luke argued. "And besides, he does not just work in one place, does he? He could be anywhere."
"I am not waiting while he is just strolling through the city only ten minutes away." I replied stubbornly. I never wanted to be here any longer than I needed to.
"Then ring him then!" Luke shouted. "Tell him to meet us here!"
"No! We still have time to look for him. Luke, this needs to be done discreetly. If anyone else finds out I am here, we are fucked."
I just wanted to get this sorted. I needed to get hold of my brother and sister face-to-face and then tackle the big problem on Wednesday and I want to try and stick to that plan as close as possible. Three days. In and out.
"I know but if you want to stick to your plan and find either of them today then your best shot is ringing them because trailing through the city will lead to a bunch of dead ends that will get you even angrier."
I grabbed my phone in my jacket but kept it there. I did not want to ring them, it was as simple as that. The element of surprise was always the best solution.
I needed to compromise though, something I rarely did but had to in this instance. "We will go into the city and try and find him. After five stops, if he is nowhere to be seen we will come back here and if he still is not or Lexi is not I will ring Zak." It was all I was offering so he best take it or I was walking.
He sighed and started the engine of his black, BMW X6 M. It was a smart car but I knew he had not bought it on his current wage, not that I was judging. It was one of the most comfortable cars I had ever sat in.
My car was just an average, blue thing that I used so that nobody would expect me in it. At one point I had all the latest models of Mercedes, BMW, Porsche and the rest so if anybody from the past saw me in my new one, they would never suspect a thing. Even Luke made a comment when we were getting into the car about how unlike me it was.
"So where to first?"
"I say start on Princess Street, where it meets Victoria Road."
"Why there?" Luke frowned. "That place is never used until at least 11pm so that they can take advantage of all the nightclubs being open."
I was shocked. That was my turf for the first few months that I started out. I was stood there from as soon as I finished school up until about half twelve at night. It was a miracle that I made school the next day but I was always there at my spot, day and night.
"That was where I started out," I explained. Not that he did not already know that.
"Oh yeah I remember now, I told you to stop coming to school didn't I? But you carried on because of-" He stopped what he was going to say. The familiar pang in my chest hit me but I ignored it, I had to if I wanted to carry on with the mission of finding my brother. I could not mention it though or tell him he could say her name because he could not.
I put the radio on, "Just go there first then you can choose the next place." It was a solemn affair but even without Luke mentioning her I still thought about her during every moment of every day and I always loved her.
So what do you think has happened? Do you think has happened to Jamie, Zak and Lexi? Please vote and comment! :)