Alden was mostly silent for the rest of their trek, to which Rachel was immensely grateful. She appreciated that he was trying to make her feel better, but he hadn't said anything she hadn't already thought of. Every time she tried to break her depression, the depth of her failure sunk in even deeper. She only had to look back at the growing orange glow in the distance to see her losses painted in flames across the town.
"At least it's starting to rain," Alden pointed out, following her gaze.
"Natalie can take care of fire either way," Rachel replied. "Come on."
Alden fell silent again as they walked. Rachel felt the mounting guilt in her chest again, tightening her insides in knots, but this time it was tinged with something else. It wasn't desperation or fear anymore. No, the guilt was paired with a bleak acceptance. She knew there wasn't any other way, and she'd stopped trying to think of alternatives. Her entire incredible mental capacity, which she'd tried for so long to use for the sake of the world, had grinded to a halt. She'd given up.
So why was she still walking?
Because I don't want to die.
Even though she'd completely failed her life's work?
My life isn't over yet.
He'd killed many of the people she'd worked with. He turned her into a backstabbing monster.
I'm not going to let his actions define who I am. I did what I had to do.
He'd come after the ones she loved, framing Rika and maiming Will.
All the more reason to put an end to this.
She'd stolen from and lied to the people she was supposed to represent.
It was the best possible course of action at the time.
She was about to betray a close friend's trust yet again.
"I'm doing what I have to do," she murmured. Alden didn't hear her, but her words were only meant for herself. She was thinking aloud, since she didn't have Will to help her work through her fears and doubts.
Rachel's other companion had returned though, and she had much sharper hearing. "You're planning on killing him," Beverly accused, barely audible next to her.
Rachel didn't bother trying to fool her again. It wasn't worth the effort. "Are you going to warn him?"
Beverly didn't answer. Rachel continued, at a subvocal level that she knew only Beverly would hear. "He would have killed your brother too. You know that. He'll never stop, and Alpha isn't coming to hold him back anymore."
"I know."
"So will you warn him?"
"...No."
Rachel didn't feel relieved. If anything, she was more devastated. Even Grey-eyes had given up on the situation. "Where is Alpha?"
"I don't know. He was supposed to be here."
"But he hasn't shown up to help."
"No..."
Even through a whisper, Rachel could hear Beverly's distress. Rachel had only met Alpha a few times in the early days of the Council. He'd always appeared as a bright outline of a man, speaking with a distorted voice to hide his identity. He was aloof, but ultimately a champion of magic. As she understood it, though, he was utterly hands-off to a fault. He only stepped in to stop Omega according to his strictly defined rules, which Omega had subsequently found a way to circumvent. Rachel didn't expect him to show up to help, if he was even in a position to do so.
Still, the trio had obviously been friends at some point before their schism. Rachel felt for her. "I'm sure he's okay."
She didn't answer.
Rachel wanted to talk further, maybe even build up some kind of rapport, but she'd run out of time. They'd arrived at the clearing. The air seemed to shimmer slightly in front of them as they passed through the illusions around the outset. It was hard to notice the exact border, but as they walked further in, Rachel spotted the faint irregularities that marked the unnatural transition in the trees. Some of them were fake, placed in such a way to deter any attempts to penetrate deeper into the forest, where their true destination lay.
It was only a few more minutes until they were in position.