"Why do you love someone who simply causes you pain more than happiness?"
This question... This seemingly simple question was asked to Hanabi every time she was caught gazing at the person who holds her heart yet is unaware he does.
She was asked this question whenever hurt was seen in her eyes and a broken smile on her lips as she answered with another question.
"How can you teach the heart to stop beating for the one you love?"
~
Hanabi wore a broken smile as she watched the man who holds her heart laugh and hold another woman in his arms. It hurt honestly, it hurt more than any physical pain she felt in countless hours of training, it hurts more physical pain she has endured.
She couldn't look away even though she would try, his smile countered her pain.
There truly was beauty in pain.
Hayabusa didn't love her the way he loved Kagura to simply put it.
But it was selfish of her to expect more from his friendship, it was selfish of her to ask for more than she was offered. No matter the pain and jealousy it caused.
She would often find herself asking 'why' or looking at what flaws she has as to why the shadow ninja did not choose her or even paid her mind more than a rivaled friend. The clear answer would always bring tears to her cheeks.
"-nabi... Hanabi!" Hanabi jumped from her seat when she felt a hand shake her from her thoughts, she turned to the person calling her and froze. In front of her was a pair eyes belonging to Hayabusa
"Are you ok Hana? Your face is all red" Hayabusa's worried voice filled her ears making her shift her attention to her hands resting on the table before her.
Her chest tightened at how caring he became of her. 'Which is normal, since rivals are to make sure one doesn't forfeit from being ill' she defended his actions
"I-I'm fine ... it's just the heat" she dismissed, waving her hand at his concern.
"Well it is kinda hot today" Hayabusa sighed sitting on the nearby chair to her and dropping his weight on her. He knew it would make the scarlet ninja irritated.
And he was right, because Hanabi pushed him away the moment he leaned to her.
"ugh! do you know how heavy you are?" Hanabi exclaimed making the male ninja laugh.
~
"Why do you love someone who simply causes you pain more than happiness?"
Hayabusa stared at Hanabi's still eyes as he processed what she just confessed.
He was more than a rivaled friend to her eyes.
Silence filled the air around them as the tension build-up
Hanabi hid her regret and pain well, but emotion's quick to show on Hayabusa's eyes
"Hanabi..." He trailed off. Unable to form the right words, there was none.
How did it get to this you ask? Simple. It was supposed to be just another spar, a usual spar they had before bashing and criticizing one another from the battlefield, and then they would be watching the stars to end the night before retiring for the day, Hanabi took this time to gather her courage and feelings.
Now back to the present. After much silence, when finally Hayabusa found enough words Hanabi cut him off.
"I expect nothing, and know your feelings for her, but... this is the least I could do before moving on and continuing my training" She announced with a monotonous voice, Hayabusa's expression quickly turned into a confused one.
Hanabi decided, enough is enough, she needed to move on, the pain is all built up and more unbearable and unimaginable so there... she said it, and she accepted the result.
She was taught, without experiencing pain, one can not learn.
"How long?" Hayabusa asked with a frown. Hanabi sighed.
"It does not matte-"
"It doesn't matter? Hanabi it does!" Hanabi raised her brows at him. "And what would've you done? avoid me for the sake of my feelings to go away? I'd rather have to deal with this than lose what we already have" She felt rage bubble as the moments passed.
Hayabusa looked at her with so much regret and pity. She didn't need that. She didn't need his pity, what for? to wallow and drown her tears in?
"Save the look of pity and regret Haya, that's not necessary" she sighed, keeping herself in control.
Having completed her task, she turned and left, knowing how this would cause a rift in their relationship... but maybe that's what she needed...
Especially when she plans to go after Hanzo.
~
Edited: 01/31/21
I mean the ending is a bit better... and the writing has improved?
-AKM