I really didn't get why people tagged me as"the rude editor" just because I real-talked them. Like . . . so sensitive mo naman, bruh.
I let GT sit on my chair, then I stood beside him and showed him the flags.
"Degrading ba yung comments?" tanong ko pa. "Is it rude?"
Binasa niya ang iba bago sumagot. "It is strict. And . . . questionable."
"But not rude."
"Well, siguro, depende sa magbabasa. If I were the author, mao-offend ako. It sounded like you're trying to juice out something in me na kaya ko namang ibigay nang kusa pero tinatakot mo 'ko. Something like that."
Tiningnan ko tuloy siya nang masama. So, ganoon talaga siya?
"But not rude," pagpipilit ko.
"Did you receive a complaint about this?" pagkuwestiyon niya sa akin habang kinukunutan ako ng noo.
Ano ako, tange? Sasabihin ko sa kanya? Bahala siya.
"Can you tone that down? You sounded sincere naman sa mga comment mo," utos ko.
"I can, of course."
"Good!" Itinuro ko ang screen. "Do that. Now."
"Nope. I'll do it later. I can finish this before we go."
"But—"
"Hold up!" Nagtaas siya ng kamay para pigilan akong magsalita. Nag-minimize siya ng tab at nagbukas ng blank word document. "I need to see your writing style. Urgent. Please."
Tinitigan ko pa siya kung nagjo-joke siya.
At hindi siya nagjo-joke. Oh . . . kay?
"Write for me," he said. He stood up from my chair and asked me to sit.
"I thought okay na yung audition?" nalilitong tanong ko at wala na ring choice kundi umupo.
"Write in English. Smut scene. Or anything sexual-related. Third person's viewpoint, omniscient or limited, your call." Tinapik pa niya ako sa balikat. "Start."
And . . . I saw myself staring at him, waiting for an unknown response.
I would write. A smut scene. In front of him?
No fucking way!
Kung nasa restroom ako o kung wala siya sa paligid baka makagawa ako. But now? It was a big NO.
"Eunice, I'll do your job, but please, I need you to cooperate with me now."
Nagtayuan ang balahibo ko mula sa likod papuntang batok. Napapikit-pikit pa tuloy ako habang nakatingala sa kanya.
Ayokong tinatawag niya akong babe, pero ang weird pala kapag Eunice na. Ganoon ba kaseryoso ang pinagagawa niya? Nagmamadali ka, Kuya?
"Fine. Okay."
I sighed. What the hell am I supposed to write? I don't write smut, for Pete's sake! Kaso nakakahiya kay GT na ang lead editor ng editorial department kung saan siya under, hindi pala marunong magsulat. Oh, the ignominy.
I closed my eyes for a while to think of a scene. Fuck, what am I supposed to write? I've never done any smut scenes before!
A! Bahala na! I typed:
"Did you just have sex inside the . . . what?"
Anna fiddled with the straps of her white halter top dress. It was too provocative for their business, and Alice wanted to ask if Anna had a decent shirt, but she knew that wasn't the question she needed an answer to.
"In the elevator of the hotel, Alice."
"Girl, normal people don't have sex in closed elevators."
Anna rolled her eyes. "Stop dating boring guys, Alice. Date a guy who's not afraid to mess you up a little. You need to have sex in elevators, let your hair get down a little while you're still able. Quit acting like you're on your seventies—
"Babe, okay we're good." Pinigilan niya agad ako sa pagta-type.
Oh God. Did I do it right?
Tiningala ko siya para malaman ang sagot. Nagtakip lang siya ng bibig at parang ang laki-laki ng problema niya.
"It's wrong . . . I did it wrong," I said, giving up. Tumayo na ako sa upuan at sumandal sa sulok ng cubicle ko habang pinanonood siyang mamroblema.
"Karen said something about you, okay?"
Unti-unti kong tinaasan ng kilay ang sinabi niya.
Ano'ng sinabi ni Boss Ayen tungkol sa akin, aber?
"This is not your genre, right?"
"Aaand?"
"I know you can write, but . . ." Siya naman ang humarap sa PC ko. Hindi na siya nag-abalang umupo. Nakatayo lang siyang nag-type. At hindi ko makita ang ginagawa niya mula sa puwesto ko kasi ang laki ng katawan niyang nakaharang.
At grabe, amoy-GT na ang cubicle ko, ano ba 'yan! Amoy-maharot na tuloy rito!
I just looked at my wristwatch para malaman kung gaano katagal pa niyang balak mag-type. Wala pa namang dalawang minuto.
"Okay! Read."
Bumalik siya sa puwesto niya at nagtagpo na naman ang tingin naming dalawa.
"I will . . . read?"
Inilahad na naman niya ang palad niya sa monitor para basahin ko ang pinababasa niya.
Oh . . . kay? E di, basahin.
He pressed her in a pinioning embrace and captured her mouth in a punishing, brutal kiss. His lips bruised her as he drew out the pleasure, left hand breaking free to invade the looseness of the red dress she wore, to take possession of a tight breast.
Hatred merged with undeniable desire as Anna weakened under the enchanting demand he elicited from her body. She could barely breathe under the relentless exploration of his mouth on hers, and her head reeled as he tipped her backwards, enough to put her balance in his complete control.
Shit.
Nakakainis 'to. Letse talaga, ayoko na! Lalayas na 'ko!
Tiningnan ko nang dahan-dahan si Vincent. Para akong maiiyak na maa-amaze.
Nakakainis talaga! Hnngg! Gusto kong mag-fangirl kay GT! Bakit kasi ito pang Vincent na 'to si Gregory Troye e? Bakeeet?
"That's what we're going to write, babe. Yung POV mo kanina, masyadong pa-virgin."
"This is the reason why I wanted to work with Gregory Troye," I said in a whispering manner. "You're so amazing."
"Babe, if you can't write a scene like that, mahihirapan akong mag-adjust."
Oh my gosh. I will work with Gregory Troye. Makakabasa ako ng drafts niya. Para akong nasa behind the scenes ng book making niya, shit talaga!
"Gusto mong mag-Taglish? Or Filipino? Kaso mahina ako sa Filipino. We can meet halfway naman siguro."
Dream come true talaga 'to, bruh! Ang tagal kong hinintay 'tong chance na 'to. Ngayon, nandito na! Nae-excite ako, bruh!
"Saan mas madaling mag-deliver sa 'yo ng scene? Yung comfortable ka?"
Yung good-looking na nga, ang galing pang magsulat. Ano na, 'te? Saan ka pa, 'te?
Bakit ang sexy ni Vincent kapag naka-GT mode siya? Sana palagi.
Fuck, Eunice, maghunus-dili ka, si Vincent pa rin 'yan.
"Babe? Nakakarinig ka pa ba?"
"I love you so much, GT . . ."
He just stared at me, confusion all over his face. "Nagpa-fangirl ka ba ngayon?"
To hell with it, love ko na talaga siya!
"Don't give me that puppy eyes, babe. Alam kong cute ka, pero hindi ka pasusulatin ng ka-cute-an mo."
"Can I hug you na lang, GT?"
Hnngg! I can't even. You're GT, man! You write magically!
"Babe, gusto rin kitang i-hug, but now is not the right time, ha? Bumibigat ang pressure ko."
Wala pa rin ako sa sarili habang nakatitig sa kanya. Kinuha niya ang kamay ko 'tapos kusa na lang akong nagpahatak sa kanya palabas ng cubicle ko.
"Talk to Karen, babe. May ie-explain siya sa 'yo. I'll try to tone down your flags." Tinapik niya ako sa balikat at doon lang ako natauhan.
Shit, GT is on my team! He's under my goddamn team!
The honor. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh!
I went to Boss Ayen's cubicle na ngiting-ngiti. Medyo nakaligtaan ko na ang pinagsasasabi ni GT pero bahala na.
"So, I bet you two already discussed the current issue," pambungad na pambungad ni Boss Ayen. "Have a seat, Niz."
Pagkaupo ko, parang nawala ang lahat ng tuwa ko sa cubicle ko dahil kay GT. Mukhang may bad news na ibibigay si Boss Ayen.
"Niz, I told GT na three years ka nang hiatus sa pagsusulat. And romance and erotica are not your cup of tea."
Dahan-dahan lang akong tumango. What does that mean?
"Hindi naman sa ina-underestimate kita, Niz, pero ayokong bitbitin ka ni GT all the way sa finish line. Client pa rin natin siya. Hindi tayo binubuhat ng client. Tayo ang nagbubuhat sa client."
Aalisin na ba ako ni Boss Ayen sa project? Bakit? Kasi hindi ko trip ang romance and erotica?
Oh no. I'd refuse if she'd say that! No way!
"I'll do my best to write the novel, Boss," I said in my most dedicated tone. "I can write it, promise!"
Well, I would try, at least. Tama naman siya. Those two genres would never be my cup of tea.
Boss Ayen sighed like she had no other choice but to say yes to something she didn't want. And that was awkward for me to see or even hear.
"Niz . . ." She stopped for a moment. Nagdadalawang-isip pa kung sasabihin sa akin ang gusto niyang sabihin o hindi. "Hindi ko pa nadi-discover ang passion ko sa writing, nagsusulat na si Gregory Troye. In case you didn't know, siya ang mentor ko bago pa ako ma-discover as a writer kaya sobrang thankful ako na pumayag siyang mag-freelance dito sa DCE. I know, Vincent is not as serious as you thought, pero siya pa rin si Gregory Troye. Hindi siya basta-basta nakukuha. That's the point."
Wait. Hindi ko pa rin nage-gets kung tungkol saan ang usapan. Lutang lang ba ako dahil kay GT or what?
"Hindi maganda ang financial status natin sa DCE, and . . . GT has the ability to regain our losses. It may sound like we're users sa side niya, but we had no other choice but to let go of our employees, especially your staff na inactive, at siya ang ipapalit. Aside pa from the book he's gonna release under Dream Catchers, apat na editorial associates mo ang nag-resign, and until now, wala ka pa ring reply sa email about that."
And that . . . left me speechless.
"We need Vincent and Gregory Troye, okay?"
Tumango na lang ako. Parang biglang nag-back to zero ang energy ko.
"We already sent emails sa mga inactive associate mo kaya baka mapansin mo, wala sila. Mae already handled their cases. Visible sa performance metrics ang activities ng mga associate mo. Nahihirapan kaming i-inform ka nang personal. Hindi ka nagbabasa ng email mo. Hindi ko na rin alam kung paano ka sasabihan. You were not here to work with them, so we needed to compromise. Sana hindi sumamâ ang loob mo."
Ah. Nagtanggal sila ng tao ko dahil lang wala ako sa office. Okay! Galing.
Pero alam ko naman sa sarili kong may kasalanan din ako. Kung alam lang ni Boss na naghihintay na lang akong tanggalin nila kasi lagi akong MIA. Hindi ko rin naman sila masisi. Nag-home-based ako for Justin para marami akong time sa kanya. Ang kaso, wala siyang time for me kasi mas inuuna niya ang work and friends niya. Meaning to say, karma ko pala 'to.
Wrong choice? Wrong decision? Hindi puwedeng piliin nang magkasabay ang career at love life?
"Wala naman na akong magagawa, Boss. Go ahead. Do what needs to be done."
Kung mag-resign man ang mga tao ko, may fault din naman siguro sila. Aware naman ako na hindi sila competitive sa trabaho. Na ang trabahong kaya kong gawin mag-isa sa isang buong araw, kailangang tapusin ng tatlong editor sa limang araw. Talagang malulugi ang DCE sa ganoong sistema kasi hindi naman talaga dapat nagtatagal nang linggo sa amin ang manuscripts. At ang mga tinanggal na tao, katumbas din ni GT. If I were Boss Ayen, ganoon din naman ang gagawin ko. Magandang investment si GT, real talk lang.
"Anyway, let's go back to GT. He could write the novel alone, Niz, but it's a collaboration. He knows how to bring out the best in you."
"I know GT, Boss. Kung pagbabasehan ang writing style naming dalawa, lalamunin niya ako nang buhay."
"He loves to travel while writing—or before he writes the novel proper. Mag-expect ka nang tatangayin ka niya sa kung saan-saang lugar para lang makapagsulat. Don't worry, all-expense naman ng Dream Catchers ang travel, if ever. Babawiin na lang natin sa sales ng book."
Mukha nga. Hindi siya makali sa iisang lugar.
"Warning lang about GT. Single siya. At wala kang mae-encounter in the middle of the street shouting at you saying inaagaw mo ang pag-aari ng iba or what."
Biglang samâ ng tingin ko kay Boss. Ano ngayon kung single si GT? Tinatanong ko ba?
"Wanna hear his rant about you? He said, napaka-bitter mo raw."
Agad ang paglaki ng butas ng ilong ko sa sinabi ni Boss. "Letse siya 'ka mo!" Umirap ako. Wow, ha? Ako, bitter? Ang kapal naman ng mukha niya.
"Niz, if he sees that as a challenge for his project, he'll do everything to convert that challenge into an opportunity. GT is a very positive man."
"Boss, what's the bottomline?"
"Taken ka, right? May boyfriend ka?"
Ngumiwi agad ako sa tanong ni Boss. "And . . . ?"
"Romance writer si GT. Hindi ka niya tatantanan hangga't hindi niya nakukuha ang emosyong kailangan mong maramdaman. And if you can't feel the love sa boyfriend mo, huwag mong hintaying si GT ang magparamdam n'on sa 'yo. Irresistible 'yang tao, Niz, pero may dahilan kung bakit single 'yan. Baka umiyak ka sa ending."
So, what was this? A falling game? Mukha ba akong papatol sa isang Vincent Gregorio, ha?
"Boss, tanga lang ang iiyak sa kanya," sabi ko agad.
Napailing pa si Boss sa 'kin. "Don't say I didn't warn you, Eunice."
Tse! Novel lang ang gagawin naming dalawa, at hanggang doon lang 'yon. Period.
♥♥♥