GOA
As days pass by, preparations for the competition are in full swing and almost everything is in place - costumes, music, choreography, et all.
But along with all the excitement surrounding the competition, the thing that has really kept Tina busy has been another recent development that has occurred in their life - her angel, her little Kairav has finally started going to school.
With this change in their lives came the additional worry that soon he would start asking her questions about his father, whom she knew absolutely nothing about.
Knowing that the questions were fast approaching but wanting to delay them as much as possible, she informed all of Kairav's teachers much beforehand about the truth and requested them to be careful not to mention anything about it around him.
As a mother, she simply wanted to protect her son from the truth of his father's death and the sadness he would experience on finding out that she had no memory of him by which he could try to create a mental picture of what his dear father must have been like.
But as they say, you can avoid a situation as much as you want but the inevitable will happen, especially when you least expect it.
So one day, while walking back home after school, Kairav stops along the way and turns to his mother.
Kairav - Mumma, mere Papa kahan hain?
Tina has been preparing for this very question since the day she gave birth to Kairav. But despite having so many years to rehearse the answer, to figure out strategies on how to handle the situation as delicately as possible, when the moment has finally arrived, her mind is completely blank. Which is of no help because it is already pretty much blank as far as her memories of the past are concerned.
Gathering all the courage she can muster and trying to collect her thoughts, Tina kneels down in order to be at level with her inquisitive son and decides it's best to face the situation head-on.
Tina - Baby, you remember, last month hum church gaye the aur vahan humein father miley the?
Kairav - Ohhh haannnn Mumma!
Kya voh mere Papa hain? Voh toh bahut achche hain, mujhse bahut pyaar bhi karte hain!
Tina - Nahin baby. Voh aapke Papa nahin hain. But aapko yaad hai, father ne humko bataya tha ki hum sab God ke bachche hain?
Kairav - Haan Mumma! Mujhe sab yaad hai. Kyunki main aapka smart baby hoon!
Tina - Yes, my baby is the smartest!
Achcha, phir toh aapko yeh bhi yaad hoga ki unhone kaha tha ki jin bachchon ko God zyaada miss karte hain, unko voh apne paas bula lete hain?
Kairav - Haan Mumma, yaad hai.
Tina - Toh baby, vaise hi aapke Papa ko God bahut miss kar rahe the toh unhone aapke Papa ko apne paas bula liya.
Kairav - Mumma, aap papa ko kabhi miss nahin karti?
Tina - Kisne kaha nahin karti? Hamesha miss karti hoon. Bahut zyaada miss karti hoon.
Kairav - Agar aap bhi papa ko miss karti ho, phir aap unko vapas humare paas Goya kyun nahin bula leti?
Tina - Kyunki jin logon ko God ek baar apne paas bula lete hain na baby, unko vapas humare paas aane ki permission nahin milti.
Kairav - Pemission matlab?
Tina - Pemission nahin baby, permission. Aur iska matlab hai, jaise aap mujhse hamesha puchte ho ki Mumma main chocolate kha loon aur jab tak main haan nahin karti, tab tak aap nahin khaate. Bilkul vaise.
Kairav - Aap Papa se gussa ho kya ki voh chale gaye God ke paas?
Tina - Nahin toh. Aapko aisa kyun laga?
Kairav - Kyunki aapne pehle kabhi unke baare mein baat nahin ki. Toh mujhe laga ki aap unse gussa ho issliye mujhe kabhi Papa ke baare mein nahin bataya.
Tina - Arey no baby, aisa kuch nahin hai. Par aap abhi tak utne bade nahin hue na ki main aapko sab kuch explain kar sakun. Issliye nahin bataya tha kuch bhi. Aap toh actually abhi bhi bahut chote ho.
Kairav - Arey no Mumma, don't worry. I'm a very big boy, see main kitna tall ho gaya hoon, aur ab toh main school bhi jaata hoon. Aap try toh karo Mumma, aapka smarty Kairav sab samajh jayega.
Tina - Ok mere smarty.
Achcha. Ek baat batao. Jab aap baby the, tab aap kya kya karte the, aapko yaad hai?
Kairav - Uffo, no mumma. Aapne hi toh kaha tha ki baby vali baatein God humein yaad nahin rakhne dete kyunki babies sirf crying aur sleeping karte hain. Issliye magic se babies ki memory ko voh abra-dabra kar dete hain.
Tina - Exactly! Toh aap bas aisa samajh lo ki 5 saal pehle God ne galti se aapki Mumma ko baby samajh liya tha aur unpe bhi magic kar diya. Issliye, ab aapki Mumma ko, babies ki tarah, inn 5 saal se pehle kya kya hua tha unki life mein, kuch yaad nahin hai.
Par uske baad ka sab kuch yaad hai.
Kairav - Ohh toh aapko bhi babies ki tarah yaad nahin hai? Samajh gaya. See, maine kaha tha na, main bahut big boy ho gaya hoon, sab samajhta hoon.
Tina - Yes, my big boy, aapko sab kuch samajh aa gaya. 😘
Kairav - Mumma ab aur kuch batao na Papa ke baare mein?
Tina - Aapke Papa ke baare mein aur kuch yaad hi nahin hai baby, bataya na. Haan bas itna pata hai ki voh humse bahut pyaar karte the.
Oh haan, ek aur baat pata hai - aapke Papa ka naam - Kartik.
Kairav - Main confuse ho gaya ab. Papa ka naam Papa nahin hai?
Tina - Jis tarah mera naam Tina hai par aap mujhe Mumma bolte ho, vaise hi aapke Papa ka naam Kartik hai par aapke liye toh voh Papa hue na.
Kairav - Ohhhh. Haan Mumna, aap sahi bol rahi ho.
Tina - Ab bas, no more baatein. Mujhe practice karni hai kal ke competition ke liye aur tumhein homework bhi toh karna hai! Jaldi ghar chalo na baby!
As they walk towards their house, Tina gets sad and becomes lost in her own thoughts.
Tina - I'm sorry baby, I have no other answers to your questions cuz I also am asking myself the same ones.
How I wish you could have known your father, spent time with him every second, every day. How I wish I remembered everything of my life from before I woke up alone at that blast site, with my mind wiped clean of everything I knew. How I wish your father and I had never had the unfortunate fate of being there on that night.
There's so much I wish I could change, but I can't. Not a day goes by that I don't wish we could have been a happy family together. But that's all I can do, wish for things that even I know can't happen.
And I'm not sad for what's happened to me. I'm sad that I can't give you all the happiness in the world. The happiness you deserve to experience. I'm so sorry Kairav, I'm so so sorry.
His mother's teary eyes and sad expressions don't go unmissed by Kairav. He's seen this look on her face many times before - when he's playing and she thinks he's not looking, when she's put him to bed and assumes he's sleeping, when everyone is happily spending time together and she leaves the room to be alone in a corner and cry. His Mumma is his world, the only person he's constantly had by his side and he will do anything to make her happy. Thinking to himself -
Kairav - I know Mumma, aap mere question ki vajah se sad ho gayi ho abhi. I know you miss Papa cuz you love him a lot. But I pomiss you Mumma, from today, I'll not let you get sad. Aaj se main aapko khush rakhunga. Kyunki main world ki best Mumma ka best beta hoon.
I love you the most Mumma. Don't worry, I love you too Papa and I pomiss you Papa, Tina the tin tin aajse kabhi sad nahin hongi. Only happy and smiling, teddy bear ke jaise.
But aap please God ke paas se vapas aa jao na Papa. Hum donon bhi aapko miss karte jaise God miss karte hain. Aap God ko bolo na ki aapka baby bula raha hai kyunki uski Mumma ko smile karana hai. Please aa jao Papa.
As soon as they reach the doorstep of their house, Kairav turns to his mom to try and start acting on his promise or, as he says, pomiss, to his Papa.
Kairav - Mumma, ek secret batana hai. Bend karo na.
Tina - Kya hua baby?
The moment she reaches his level, Kairav pulls her cheeks and runs into the house giggling loudly.
Tina - Achcha, toh ab aap Mumma ke cheeks bhi pull karoge? Ab ruko. Abhi tickle monster ko bulati hoon. Phir dekhti hoon aap kitna meri cheeks pull karoge!
Kairav - Mumma pehle mujhe pakadna padega na. Itni dur se tickle monster mujhe kuch nahin kar payegi. 😜
Tina - Naughty ho rahe ho aap bahut. Ab dekho fast fast bhaag ke yeh tickle monster aapko kitna tickle karta hai.
Kairav - No Mumma, please, I'm sorry. Tickle monster nahin Mumma. Aaaahhhh Hahahaha.
As the mother - son duo run around the room, their laughter echoes off the walls of the house. A house that is still missing the 3rd member of their perfect family who can turn it into their home sweet home.
The day progresses with their regular masti, Tina running behind her son to get him to eat his dinner and then scolding him for watching too much TV while Kairav pesters his Mumma to eat with him and rest whenever she begins to get too tired from the continuous dance practice.
4 years of being all each other has, has brought them very close. Concern, admiration, unconditional love flow equally in both directions as do scoldings when the other doesn't take care of themself. And it is one such scolding from Kairav after their dinner that makes a reluctant Tina give in to the sleep that she has been trying to push away, in order to squeeze in a few extra minutes of practice.
He hums the lori for his Mumma which she usually sings for him and once he's sure she's fallen asleep, he turns towards the window and look out at the sky. Just then, a shooting star streaks across the starry night sky and he excitedly closes his eyes, folds his hands in prayer and makes a wish -
Kairav - Star star, please aap God se bolo ki voh mere Papa ko humare paas bhej dein. Mumma aaj Papa ko bahut miss kar rahi thi aur issliye baar baar sad ho rahi thi. Aur mujhe bhi Papa chahiye jaise mere saare friends ke hain, jaise Liza the Pizza ke hain. Issliye please Papa ko humare paas bhej do. I pomiss main hamesha good boy banunga, khaana khaunga, Mumma Papa ko pareshaan bhi nahin karoonga. Please?
He soon drifts off to sleep, hugging his Mumma like a baby monkey clings to his mother. Inseparable.
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UDAIPUR
Kartik has just returned home from the auditions in Delhi. As he starts to unpack and repack his things for tomorrow's trip, he recalls the sequence of events that occurred today.
Earlier that day:
As in the previous few cities, the moment he landed in Delhi, his 1st move was to call the people incharge of registrations and ask them to keep a copy of the list of participants and their order of performances ready for him as well as an organizer badge so that he could move around the venue without anyone being suspicious of his reasons for being there.
Arriving 2 hours before auditions were set to start, he then proceeded to the participant reporting station and started scanning the list for any names that she may be using apart from the obvious - Naira Singhania and her previous alias when living in Rishikesh - Tina.
When no name popped out, as usual, he didn't get disheartened. He moved on to the participant waiting area where everyone was either chatting, pacing nervously, some practicing steps, others rehearsing their choreography while bobbing their head to the music they'd selected to perform on.
When he still couldn't spot her, he gave his attempt to find her at this city's audition one final shot - sitting in the back of the auditorium, letting the darkness hide him from view of the contestants. He watched as many people performed - some good, some average - but none to the level that could ever compete with his Naira.
He wasn't exaggerating when he said she was the best dancer he had ever seen. Not everyone can dance gracefully with a burnt foot, find a way to perform despite their leg injury which was sustained after falling from a roof or even fight with their fear of needles in order to be able to dance again. But she did all these and more. She was truly his Sherni, a fighter for everything she was passionate about - which of course included her dance.
After all the performances were over and there had been no sign of her, he left directly for the airport. During the entire flight journey back to Udaipur, he kept thinking of the role dance had played in her life and also in theirs.
Dance was what had drawn him to her the most when he had just started realizing his feelings for her. Dressed in a white anarkali, her performance as beautiful and flawless as her heart, the visual before him had left him mesmerized and certain that the change in tempo of his heartbeat had little to do with the rhythm of the music and more to do with the angel dancing before him.
Dance was also what had brought them together when he was falling surely, deeply and madly in love with her. He had been instrumental in making sure she got to participate in the competition that would help her complete her parents dream someday, even breaking into an office in order to put her form into an envelope with other registered candidates.
His support for her passion did not end after marriage. He fought alongside her against his family so she could live her dreams and build the dance academy (which he was still running these past 5 years so it would be waiting for her when she returned back into his life).
As Kartik finishes packing everything for the next day, he breaks out of his flashback of the day gone by and turns to the picture of Naira hanging on the wall.
Kartik - Dance. Mere ek laute pyaar ka pehla sachcha vala pyaar. Haan uske baad tumhari life mein main aa gaya, aur phir dance ko harate hue, tumhari sabse loved cheezon ki list pe main sabse upar bhi pahunch gaya. Par chahe main number 1 tha tumhari list mein, dance bhi zyaada peeche nahin tha, hamesha 2nd raha.
And I'm so proud ki tumne kabhi kisi ke bhi mana karne pe, daantne pe, discourage karne pe apna dance nahin choda.
Tumne hamesha har obstacle ka saamna kiya aur kabhi haar nahin maani, chahe situation kitni bhi mushkil kyun na rahi ho.
Aur jis tarah tumne kabhi haar nahin maani apne dance ko leke, I promise you Naira, I'll never give up on finding you. Haan, already aadhi se zyaada cities main auditions khatam ho gaye hain, but I'm not going to lose hope. There are still plenty more to go and even if you don't come to any of those, I'll figure out another way to find you.
Tum mera pyaar ho Naira, meri zindagi ho. The other half of my soul. My forever and always. Chahe 10 saal beet jaayein, main tumhein pyaar karna aur tumhein dhoondna kabhi nahin chodunga. Jab tak tum mil nahin jaati, tab tak dhoondunga.
I love you meri Sherni. More each day, greater than infinity and beyond forever.
I love you, only you and always you.
As he looks out the window at the twinkling stars, he sees one racing across the sky and makes the same wish he's made on each shooting star, each 4 leaf clover, every wish-bone, every fallen eyelash, every birthday candle and whatever other means he could find to make a wish - to be reunited with his world, his Sherni, his Naira, his love - for eternity.
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Finally updated this chapter and I'm so sorry for the delay. But I really hope you like it. And I hope you like whatever I have planned for the upcoming chapters too. Updates might be slow, but rest assured, I will update.
Feedback and criticism are always welcome!
Lots of Love (as always),
Adi ❤️