The next morning I woke up with a huge headache.
Sarah was sleeping next to me.
I didn't wake her up.
I just carefully left the room.
I went downstairs.
I was greeted by Tori who was cleanning the place up.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to stay over night." I said apologetically.
"It's fine Oliver.." she said smiling at me.
"Thanks.. I have to go." I said rushing my way out.
I went back to my dorm and saw Raf working out.
He clear out some stuff with me.
He apologize for being a dick.
He told me he tried to kiss Sarah but then she rejected him. Nothing else happen in the closet. He said he will never try to do something like that ever again.
I just nodded and let him off the hook.
I got more problems that I need to worry about.
After last night, things just kept getting worse for me.
---
Days pass by after that night I had with Sarah.
I pretended like nothing happen. We never talk about it.
I don't know.. I guess she was too drunk to remember that night.
She was still the same
While I..
I'm slowly changing...
I slowly tried to distant myself from her.
I started making excuses on why I stop spending so much time with her.
It won't be healthy for me to be around her right now.
For the times I still have to play the "boyfriend" part, I would casually try to put some distance between us.
For example,
Last night,
I had to be her date on her friends's birthday party. She tried to wrap her arms around me or interlock are fingers together. I just sort of pull away and let my arms rest on her shoulder.
She would try to kiss me but I would move away so she would end up brushing her lips on my cheeks.
I'm no longer comfortable with her kissing or giving me a peck on my lips.
I would always try to avoid her gaze whenever she looks at me.
I don't answer her late night calls anymore.
If she needs me, I still come but I make sure to not stay too long.
I've been spending more time with Raf now.
He's really nice actually.
Right now, we are playing video game.
We heard a knock on the door.
He stood up to see who was knocking.
"Oh hey.." he said awkwardly.
"Um.. Oliver, your girlfriend is here." He said while looking at me.
Sarah doesn't really visit me that much in my dorm eversince Raf move in here.
I'm a bit surprise with her visit.
"Hey.." I said while approaching her.
"Oli.." she said.
I remember that night again..
I frown when that vision from that night flash in my memory.
I shook my head twice.
"Hey what's up.." I said again.
"Did you turn off your phone? I can't contact you." She said.
"Battery empty." I lied.
She nodded in understanding.
I let her in.
"Can we talk outside?" She asked afterwhile.
"We can just talk here." I said.
I just didn't want to be alone with her.
"I can give you some privacy." Raf offered.
He was about to leave when I called for his attention.
"Hey Raf, it's fine.. Don't go." I said casually.
Raf stop from his tracks then he glance at Sarah and I. He look at me skeptically not really knowing if he would leave the room or not.
Sarah sighed and then she grab my hand as she was about to drag me out with her.
We reach the lobby.
I pull away from her grip.
She was surprise with my gesture.
I chuckle nervously.
"Um.. hey is it necessary to drag me down here?" I asked trying to sound casual.
She look at me skeptically.
I had to turn away.
I clear my throat.
"Sarah.. If you have nothing important to say, maybe I should just go back to my dorm." I said taking a step back.
"Wait.." she spoke softly.
I look at her for a second then I turn my head again.
"Can we spend some time alone? We can eat your favorite steak pasta." She offered smiling.
Normally I will immediately say yes when it comes to food.
"I don't know.. I'm busy." I said while rubbing the back of my neck.
"Busy doing what? Playing video games?" She was more upset than mad.
I looked down at my feet
"I'm just taking a break.." I reasoned.
"Are you avoiding me?" She asked while walking closer.
I step back again.
"You are avoiding me." She stated firmly.
I immediately look back at her.
"Sarah c'mon.. I just spend some time with you last night." I said to her.
"But you've been acting weird lately." She reasoned back.
"I'm just not hungry.. Stop making a big deal out of it." I said forcing a smile.
"Is it really just in my head?" She mumbled
I can't really hear it well.
I took her hand gently.
"You can stay in my dorm if you want to." I offered.
I know she's not gonna say yes.
"No it's fine.. By the way this weekend, my mom and dad wants me to come home. Are you coming home too?" She asked curiously.
"I think I might visit Tyler this weekend." I said.
She made an "O" sound.
"So you're going back to LA?" She asked again.
"Yeah.." I replied shortly.
"Just this weekend right?" She asked for confirmation.
I nodded.
She smiled at me.
"Okay.. remember to charge your phone." She said while trying to give me a hug.
I response awkwardly.
I pull away from the hug as soon as our body made contact.
She was eyeing me suspiciously.
I pinch her cheeks to distract her.
"You're so cute like that." I said trying to act as normal as possible.
She slap my hand away.
She smiled at me again before leaving.
I went back to my dorm.
Raf handed me the other controller and we started playing again.
"You think your girl still pissed at me?" He asked curiously.
"Nah.. She's not.. she might be pissed at me though." I said chuckling.
He playfully nudge my side.
That hurts..
This guy doesn't know how strong he is.
"What are you doing this weekend?" He asked curiously.
"I'm going to LA to meet a friend." I said.
"Cool.. I guess this dorm is mine for the whole weekend." He said smirking.
"Don't even think of letting someone use my bed." I warned.
"Maybe we'll use your desk instead?" He said laughing.
"Ew! You don't need to put ideas in my head." I said throwing a pillow at his face.
A few hours passed by.
Sarah was trying to call me again.
This time I can't ignore her.
She already notice how I've been acting weird lately. I don't want her asking anymore questions.
"Hey!" She greeted me estatically.
"Hi Sarah.." I said pretending to be on my sleepy voice.
"Did I disturb your sleep?" She asked softly.
Now I feel guilty for lying.
"It's fine.. what is it?" I asked.
"It's nothing important.. just take a rest. I just want to check up on you." She said softly.
"Okay.. I'll come over to your house tomorrow." I said to her.
"I'll be waiting.." she said happily.
"Goodnight Sar.." I said.
"Um wait.. O," she paused.
"Hmm?" I hummed.
"I hope you're not busy tomorrow." She said sounding hopeful.
Maybe it will be okay..
"Yeah, I think I won't be." I replied smiling.
I said goodbye before ending the call.
--The next morning
I went to their sorority house.
I saw Tori outside and greeted her warmly.
"Hi!" I said as I wave at her.
"Hey Oliver.. looking for Sarah?" She asked smiling.
"Yep.. Just came here to see her." I said smiling.
"She's at her room upstairs. You can just go there." She said while pointing at the house.
"Okay thanks.." I said smiling.
I knock at her room a few times but she wasn't responding. I decided to open it.
I haven't been here since that night.
"Sarah?" I call for her name.
I walk silently and reach her bed.
She wasn't there.
The bathroom door open as I turn around.
She was about to walk out just on her towel.
I immediately turn around.
"Oh hey Sarah good morning.." I greeted her nervously.
"You're up early.. I just finish taking shower." She replied to me.
I can hear her footsteps getting nearer.
"Why are you standing there. You can sit you know." She said while reaching out.
I glance at her once.
She's just motioning for me to sit in the chair.
I look around the bed while she was drying her hair.
I can't erased that night from my mind. Specially now that I'm actually back in this exact same spot on where it happen.
The floor where we kiss.
The bed when we almost..
I can feel my face heating up.
"Maybe I should wait for you downstairs." I suggested.
She immediately grab my hand.
"Just stay here. I'll be quick." She said smiling sweetly at me.
I blink a few times and then nodded at her.
She walked back to the bathroom.
The door was slightly open.
I can see her changing through the reflection of the mirror.
My whole body is tense now.
I think I might be even sweating.
I turn away again.
A few seconds later, she walked out of the bathroom and walk towards me.
I carefully turn to meet her gaze.
She's wearing a light pink crop top sleeveless and white jean shorts.
She look so sexy right now.
I was completely starstruck.
I gulp a little.
"What are we doing today?" I asked.
She tied her hair up and fix her lipstick before she replied to me.
"Anything you want." She said winking at me.
Sarah please don't..
You can't keep teasing me like that.
I wish I can just say that to her.
She notice how I became silent for a minute.
She walk gently and sat next to me.
"Everything okay?" She asked softly.
"Huh? Nothing.. want to go shopping? Maybe even movies?" I suggested.
"I would loved to.." she said kissing my cheeks.
She reach for my hand.
I did
As usual, she tried to interlock are fingers together.
I squeeze it gently to distract her.
I didn't let her interlock are fingers. We are just walking hand in hand.
We told Tori our plans for today and bid her goodbye before we left the house.
I used Sarah's car as we leave to go shopping.
She took out her shades and casually worn it.
"It's been awhile since the last time we shop." She said starting a conversation.
I nodded smiling.
I decided to turn on the music.
She sang along with the song.
I smiled widely as I drive.
She really looks so pretty and bubbly.
"Sing with me!" She said after awhile. She was shaking my shoulder to get me to sing.
"Hey knock it off." I warned her but I'm smiling.
"I swear if you don't sing with me I'll.." she didn't get to finished.
"You'll what?" I raised my eyebrow as I interrupt her.
She was trying to think of something and then she snap her fingers.
"I'll kiss you.." she said laughing.
I grip the wheel.
That made me uncomfortable.
"Want me to kiss you?" She said joking. She was about to lean closer.
"Don't joke about that." I said seriously.
She was taken aback.
The car became silent again.
Okay I know I might overreacted..
I parked the car in the parking lot.
We silently walked out of the car.
"Sarah.. I didn't mean to snap at you." I apologize.
"No it's okay.." she replied.
I link arms with her.
She glance at our arms together then back at front.
We went to the department store to check new outfits.
She was still a bit upset I think..
I tried to cheer her up as I goof around.
It didn't take long until she started laughing and smacking me all at once.
"I think that dress would fit you." I said pointing out at the statue.
We looked for her size and got something she could try on.
I stood outside the door.
"O? You there?" She asked softly.
"Yeah.." I replied.
She open the door a little.
"Come inside." She said.
What? Why do I need to be in the fitting room with her?
"Hurry up.." she said again.
I hesitantly went inside the fitting room.
The space is too small.
"The zipper got stuck.. can you help me out?" She asked.
I place my hands on her shoulders.
Geez, this is making me feel awkward.
I had to turn my face away.
"You done yet?" She asked again.
"Just wait a sec.. this is too tight." I said trying to push the zipper up.
It took me about 2 more minutes before I got the zipper to work.
She turn around to thank me.
This has gotten us in a more awkward position.
Our face is just a few inches apart.
I can feel her leaning in towards me.
"I'm not Oli.." I blurt out.
She stop moving..
She blink a few times and then nodded.
"Thanks O.. I got it from here." She said softly.
I made a huge inhale and exhale to calm my nerves.
A few minutes later she walked out of the fitting room.
We went to the cashier and she used her credit card in buying her new outfit.
While we were walking.
"I'm sorry O... I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable or anything. You said something about you not being Oli." She started.
"Do I make things hard for you?" She asked softly.
What should I say?
"Please O.. just be honest with me." She asked again.
She's not gonna drop this, is she?
She held my shoulder firmly and turn me to face her.
"Damn it O! Talk to me!" She said irritably.
"Sometimes?" I replied hesitantly.
"So is that why you've been acting weird around me?" She asked again.
"I just miss being me.." I said in a low voice.
"You know.. not pretending to be someone else.. not pretending that I am my brother.. or your boyfriend.. Just me O, Olivia Ford. I miss the old me." I explained further.
She sighed and look down.
I think she's starting to feel guilty.
"It's not your fault." I said reassuringly.
"What can I do to make you feel better?" She asked.
"We can end the contract now, if that's what you want." She said looking at me seriously.
"Is that what you want?" I asked softly.
She looked away for a second.
"It's not about what I want." Sarah replied in a low voice.
I pinch her cheeks lightly.
I don't like to see her upset.
"Hey, I'm okay.. How about we spend today like we normally do as I do. You know just the real me. Today I'm Olivia and not Oli.." I replied smiling.
She lighten up and gave me a big smile.
"Sure! How about we start by changing your clothes." She suggested.
We went back to the department store to shop for more clothes.
Now I'm wearing a more girly outfit that higlights my long stunning legs.
Sarah was giggling beside me.
"Stop it! You're making me feel uncomfortable.." I said poking her head.
"You look so hot!" She complimented me.
"But I think you should put some make-up and maybe extensions too." She added.
I took her hand and we did just that.
I feel so much more comfortable now.
I smile widely at my reflection on the mirror.
She appeared at my back.
"Can't stop checking yourself out?" She teased.
I faced her and kiss her cheeks gently.
She was a bit surprised.
I guess she didn't expect me to be affectionate.
I held her hand.
"I'm hungry.. let's go." I said.
We went to my favorite restaurant.
"I'm glad I was able to cheer you up." She said while letting her one palm rest on her cheeks.
"You always cheer me up." I said smiling warmly.
I can see her blushing. She playfully smack my arm.
"You're too much sometimes you know.." she said trying to pinch my arm.
I looked at her confused.
"Nevermind.. let's just eat this fast. I want to go see a movie." She said while looking down at her food.
A few minutes later, we went to buy movie tickets.
We argued for a few seconds on what to watch. She wanted to see a romantic movie while I wanted horror.
We decided to play rock, paper scissor..
And I won.
So we went for horror.
I felt bad for her. She hates this types of movies.
I wasn't even paying attention to the movie myself.
I was only staring at her the whole time.
She was covering herself with her bag everytime the jump scare and screaming goes on.
I felt her reach for my hand. I let her hold it.
She squeeze my hand gently.
I smiled as she do that.
I turn my head back to the screen when I felt her move to my side.
After two hours, the movie credits ended.
She was still scared and walking slowly at my back.
I grab her hand and pull her closer.
"We'll go see the other movie now." I said smiling while showing her another set of movie tickets.
We walked faster.
She gave me a quick hug.
"You really are the best O!" She said giggling.
To be honest, the movie she picked was really cheesy and romantic.
She was so focused on the screen.
I was just eating my popcorn casually.
I felt her reaching for mine while her focus was still on the movie.
Our hands made contact.
We both looked at each other.
"Sorry.." she said whispering.
"You have your own popcorn." I said.
"I like yours better." She replied smiling.
I let her have mine.
I excused myself for a second and went to the restroom.
My phone buzz.
I got a text from Tyler.
"Girl! What ya doing?" He said.
I dialed his number. He picked it up immediately.
"Hey Ty!" I greeted him estatically.
"Oh good thing you called.. I need to vent!" He said warning me beforehand.
Wow! Well if Sarah is the queen of venting.. I guess Tyler will be the king.
He starting talking about his boss then his rude customers and then on and on again..
I sat on the customer lounge.
I just listen to all his complains and try to cool him down.
I didn't know how long we were talking until I felt someone poked my shoulder. I look up and saw Sarah staring at me.
"Oh hey!" I greeted her.
"You've been gone for a bit long. I decided to check up on you." She replied.
"Everything is good, I'm just talking to Tyler." I said.
"You can go back to the movie. I'll follow you right up." I said.
She shook her head and smiled.
"It's okay.. the movie got boring. It's getting late. Maybe we should call it a night." She replied.
I nodded in understanding.
"Ty? Sarah and I need to go now.. talk to you soon. Don't let those people let you down. You're awesome!" I said trying to cheer him up.
He said okay and told me he misses me so much before ending the call.
"You sure you want to leave now?" I asked again.
She smiled warmly at me and nodded.
"Tyler was just having a bad day.." I mentioned.
She nodded and reach out for my arm as I stood up
She link our arms together.
I gently moved and let my arm fall. I then interlock our fingers together.
For a moment, I saw her looked down and glance at our hands.
She squeeze them softly.
She glance at me again.
"We should have more dates like this." She said softly.
"I would loved that." I replied.
She was singing along again with the car music playing a loud bubbly song.
I couldn't help but giggle.
"What's funny?" She asked curiously while shaking me lightly.
"I'm just happy.." I replied.
Her eyes grew wider.
"Me too!" She said then she let go of my shoulder.
She sang louder.
I decided to sing with her.
"Well you really are happy!" She spoke giggling.
We kept fooling around the whole drive.
How can I not be this happy if she's happy. Her laugh is so contagious.. I can listen to it all day.
What I really love about it is that I know I'm making her happy being me... not Oli.