It was morning. Anita did puja praying him to make everything all right like before, praying him get her kids their peace back!! When she turned around, found Khushi descending downstairs. She was wearing a sky blue salwar suit with her hand bag in her hand, she did not even care to comb her hair!! A smile slowly came across Anita's lips..
"Khushi.. Meri Jaan!!", Anita was about to cup her face but found Khushi taking a step backward..
"Khushi.."
"Let me go Maa.."
Anita's eyes felt heavy when she felt that roughness in her voice, but she quickly composed herself and said..
"Of course I will.. First come and let me give you some breakfast.. Then go wherever you want.."
"I am not hungry Mumma.. Aap please mujhe jane dijiye.."
"But Khushi.."
"You know what Mumma.. You should concentrate on your son to make sure he never falls sick..", when Khushi uttered those words her eyes as well as throat felt heavy. She looked away seeing Anita's face, her eyes!! She again made her dear Anita Mumma cry.
Anita stood immobile, Khushi left from there almost running knowing very well if she stops she will breakdown!! Standing at far Arnav witnessed this scene, Anita raised her hand to wipe her eyes and Arnav felt he was stabbed again!!
Khushi was angry.. with everyone!! And an angry is never easy to deal with. She has shut the door to her heart not letting anyone to peep in. Her anger is as stubborn as her ego, never giving her a chance to think sane!! But she was like this.. since beginning!!
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"Khushi.. Let's go back home.. It is past 10 pm."
"You can go Nitu.. I'll be fine here.. Please go to home. Aunty must be worried.."
"I am also trying to say same, Anita Aunty must be worried.. Tu ghar jaa.."
"Kyun ghar jaun mein?? Taki uska wahan hone ka ehsas mujhe dard de aur us dard ke badle mein Mumma ko hurt karu.. Tujhe aaj subah wahan hone chahiye tha Nitya jab mein Mumma.. ko (Khushi stopped as she remembered the morning incident. Shutting her eyes tight she looked away.) Please leave me alone for some time Nitu, I promise I'll take care of me.."
(Why?? Why should I go back?? So that his presence will hunt me and in return I'll hurt Ma.. You should have been there in morning when I behaved.. so )
Since childhood, it has always been difficult for Khushi to be submissive!! It was not that she was heartless, but she needs a lot of time to adjust!! And dealing with her has always been a heavy task for anyone.. She can't easily take if something happens in her life beyond her wish!!
But once you win her, she will give you love 100th folded in return!
Marriage is a very sensitive topic for any girl where she spends her entire life with a man!! It was same in case Khushi also.. and the way this happened with her, Khushi did lose her sanity to deal with it!! She failed to deal with her inner chaos, her inner disturbance.. She was stubborn, to accept this new twist in life, to accept this change!! She does not want to understand that thing which happened beyond her wish!! Why should she understand that?? asked Khushi to herself..
"I am not leaving Khushi until you come with me..", Nitya spoke giving a final full stop.
They both sat without a single word for next half an hour. Khushi looked back at Nitya, it was getting late at night!! Just because of her own disturbed mind , she can't let her best friend suffer. Nitya's mother must be getting worried. Making mind, Khushi asked Nitya and they both left together..
After Nitya left for her house, Khushi went back to RM. When she reached home she glanced at the clock and it was showing 11 o' clock at night. Biding watchman good night Khushi was about to enter house using spare key, but stopped on her tracks as she found Arnav sitting on stairs outside of the house. Her heart felt twisted, she held her dupatta tightly before taking her step towards door.. crossing him and she entered inside. He did not look up and she did not wait for it either.
It was better choice for her to escape because what ever was going on inside her, she had no idea what she will do if Arnav speaks a single word. She was hot headed and that situation made her state worse. That frustration running in her body was at its extreme peak..
The moment she was about to take her first step on stair ways leading to her room, heard the main door being closed from inside and she knew who did that!! But she did not wish to acknowledge that. She took a deep breath to calm her herself.. It was as if she was burning in fire.. She was that angry!! Her heart did not even let her go and talk to Arnav why he did that, because none of his reply was going to calm her down...With that she shut her eyes before resuming her walk.
Gulping down water, Arnav stood at the bottom of stairways until the door to her room was locked!! His eyes then moved towards his parents' room!! His feet dragged him to that direction, through the window he witnessed them sleeping!! Closing the curtains, he went back to his room!! Locking door, he went and sat on sofa. His eyes closed slowly..
"Don't Arnav.. Don't do this to me.. to you.. to us!! Main jee nehi paungi.."
"To thik hai.. sath mein pal pal marte hai.. Kyun ki ab tum kisi aur ko chuno wo mein hone hi nehi dunga.."
With shriek, he opened his eyes and sat on sofa!! He was sweating so much even then when AC was on 20 degree centigrade. He felt as if his heart would burst inside his body the way it was beating!! His head started spinning. When he looked up found it was 12 o clock in mid night, more than 16 hours and he had not eaten anything. He looked around for some snacks kept in his room but stopped looking for it..
He knew very she would not have touched a single morsel. Dismissing the idea of a late night meal he went back to sleep.
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"Khushi.. You remember Mr Bose and his daughter Nyasa.. He met me yesterday and told me that his daughter has joined your institute this year.."
It was one morning, over breakfast table. Anita and Aarav exchanged look after Aarav initiated the conversation trying to ease that serious atmosphere prevailing for many days. Arnav just sat there silently and Khushi continued serving herself.
"Khushi..", Aarav called her once again..
"I don't remember Mr.Bose Baba.." she tried to end that conversation there only.
Even though she knew she was hurting Anita Mumma and Baba in this process, even though she knew instead of finding her happiness she was creating drifts between her and others, even though she knew instead of finding a solution to all these she was creating more problems.. still she could not help much!!
That decision of getting her married to Arnav during childhood and Arnav's decision to marry her to make their marriage so-called legalize.. in between all these Khushi felt like a big portion of her life was taken away.. And to get that back she needs nothing but time!! It was her life's decision and she was not included when that was taken.. Her mind did not allow her to see anything beyond this or may be she did not try also.. how reasonable or irreasonable her actions were she did not care to understand..
"Listen to me Khushi.."
"I'm getting late Baba.."
"Khushi.."
Khushi stopped though did not turn back to Aarav. Taking deep sigh, Aarav got up from his chair and came to Khushi.
"Let me talk.. Can I??"
Khushi said nothing, but Aarav noticed her eyes refusing to meet his. He knew what this girl was thinking, what this girl must be undergoing!!
Saying nothing further, Aarav took his daughter in his arms. Aarav could feel Khushi shaking in his embrace, he patted her head to calm her down.. He remembered those days when a very young little girl was standing in front of him and his wife with that tear strike face after losing the only relative of her whom she calls mother!! That little girl was lost, as if her dead mother had taken her soul away with her!!
It took days, weeks.. may be months to recover Khushi from that painful grief!! And today, Aarav Singh Raizada did not wish to witness same situation again!! Some steps in life changes us, making us deliver our worst, making us to do something which we know would never be fruitful.. Aarav did not wish to question Khushi's emotion to give it grade. Everyone is different and their way to deal a situation is different!!
Aarav understand. He stopped himself , planting a kiss on Khushi's hair he let her go.. A kiss of affection.. a kiss of assurance.. a kiss to stand beside her for ever!!.. Because he knew he can't keep her with him without her wish!! Not looking back Khushi left.
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Pocketing his both hands, Arnav stood under moonlight!! He does not have that clear image of their early childhood now, may be he has forgotten many moments for sure.. But one thing is always fresh in his mind that he did have a friend, a friend who was very dear to him, a friend for whom he had done crazy experiments, a friend whom he did not wish to share with anyone, a friend whom he used to tease and play with as well!! And today standing here at this point of life, when he realizes the string between him and his friend was much more deeper than friendship.. It was not easy!! A bond that bonded them even before they could understand its meaning..
All his efforts to suppress that unknown feeling in his heart for Khushi, all his efforts to keep himself away.. just went to vain after learning the truth!! Certainly, he was not sure whether this truth gave him happy news or not but he knew that disturbed beat of his heart came to harmony when he realized they belong to each other, when he realized he does not need to suppress that feeling for this woman!!
But again.. again he took one such step that took him away from her!!
Was that step of his right or wrong??
He questioned himself though he knew he can't rewind it again.. but for him that marriage was beyond the debate of right or wrong!!
He got afraid when Khushi cried in front of Krishna after learning the truth, he got more afraid when Krishna proposed her in front of everyone... His heart was breaking slowly and he can't see his heart break.. How will he make her understand?? How will he tell her what he wants when in reality he does not know that clearly??
But what if Khushi had said YES to Krishna!!
Can he afford to lose her after learning their relationship truth??
The answer was NO and he was not ready to understand anything beyond that..
He has never demanded anything from her apart from one feeling that HE DOES HAVE SOME PLACE IN HER LIFE!! And more than this, he would never demand anything from her.. He can't see her belonging to someone else.. He might not be the one for her.. but he wants to be her!! That's it..
He wants to talk.. but was afraid what if he breaks her heart once again..
His eyelashes felt heavy, when Arnav touched it found tear traces..