i stared at the man in front of me, who's gaze continued to hold on me, watching, and waiting for me to break beneath his grip. on the outside i stood my ground, on the inside, i was mortified.
"you," i sneered.
he let out somewhat of a laugh, "well, that's not really the way you greet an old friend, now, is it (y/n)?"
i scoffed suddenly, "friend? after all these years, and after all the pain you put me through, you have the audacity to call me your friend?"
"well, it was either that, or a slut." he smirked darkly. "i think i know which one you'd rather prefer."
i hissed coldly at him, "you backstabbing, good for nothing, loathing, son of a bitch!" at this point there were people from within the restaurant who were staring at us, or more specifically, me.
"i mean, you do still dress like one. you're here on a date, i presume? i want to meet this so called 'boyfriend' of yours!"
"listen here, cunt, the only thing you're going to meet is my arms around your neck when i pull you out of this restaurant and strangle the shit out of you." i threaten.
charlie laughed, almost mockingly, no, definitely mockingly. "well, you've certainly changed, but there's no need for the act, hon. we all know that you're still the sad, insecure, lonely, little girl, who's too afraid to come out of her comfort zone because she's scared of being rejected. sound a bit familiar?"
i could've just left. i told myself relentlessly, 'i'm not going to let him win.' and what happened? he played me right into his hand and i was too stupid enough to see it.
before i could take a counterargument, i felt cameron come up from behind me and place his hand on my shoulder. "is everything alright?" he asks quietly, trying not to let charlie hear.
"no." i quickly mutter.
"oh, everything's fine! besides, you're just the person i've been dying to meet." charlie smirks.
cameron stiffens, "unfortunately, me and my girlfriend will be leaving now. so if you'll please excuse us."
cameron takes my hand and leads me out towards the exit, i calmed down slightly but it wasn't before a voice pierced the air.
"tell me, cameron, isn't it? do you really think that you're the first? well, i mean she's obviously had other boyfriends but...exactly how many? how many one night stands, how many boys have you led on for months and just left? how many times have you said 'i love you' and not meant a single word?" charlie made sure to enunciate every word of the last sentence.
i tensed as cameron continued to lead us away, but i stopped. i realized that i never told him about any of it.
"what, as if you're not the same. sure i may have done those things. sure i may have been a slut, but i've learned a lot of things, bitch." i said.
"i learned that some people can't be trusted. i learned that not everyone is gonna stay until the very end. i learned that some people are nothing but a bag of liars and asshole. but i also learned that you don't scare me anymore. so take your pathetic act, and piss off." i finally say, walking towards the door, but at the last second, i stop. "and one more thing. if you think, even for a damn second that i don't love cameron. then you're dead wrong. and it's gonna take a hell lot more than words from a backstabbing liar for me to change that."
at this point the bystanders in the restaurant gave a sudden cheer, who surprisingly i had forgotten were there to begin with. charlie's smile was immediately wiped off his face as he sat back down in his chair.
i led cameron a little ways away from the restaurant where things quieted down and i could get a chance to properly think and talk.
i inhaled gently, "i'm sorry, about all of that."
cameron stayed quiet for a bit, and for a moment i was scared that what charlie had said had gotten to him.
there was a bit of an uncomfortable silence before he finally responded. "did you mean what you said in there?"
i paused before nodding gently, "of course i did."
he sighed softly, "did...did he mean what he said? about you?"
i frowned and sat down on the bench on the sidewalk, i swallowed all the guilt that had built up over the past years and began to explain. "unfortunately, he did."
i noticed cameron frown, "but it's not the same case with you." i add.
i sigh, "i didn't want to tell you because i didn't want you to get the wrong idea. see, charlie and i were a number back in university but, turns out he was just using me to get to someone else. when i found out i didn't know what i was supposed to do. i was angry. angry at him, angry at myself, angry at everyone. charlie was the first person i ever fell in love with, and he didn't exactly give a good example. i figured, if he did it to me, should i do the same to others? i was too young to comprehend what was right and what was wrong and it turns out eric left university that same year too. i had no one but myself and...it was lonely. i hated seeing everyone so happy when i simply couldn't figure out why i wasn't. i didn't like doing what i was doing, but i didn't know what else i was supposed to do."
cameron bit his lip, "and me? did i start off as one of them too?"
i shook my head, "fuck no. eventually i realized that i needed to get my shit together. nothing i did was working. i tried my hand at everything until i decided to come to melbourne for a break. then i caught up with eric, met the boys, and then...you."
cameron looked at me, paying attention to every word i was saying, "i didn't expect nor even want to fall for you. i was scared, really. scared that it might have just been the past me talking. so i tried bottling up those emotions, but no matter what i did they just got stronger and i was starting to lose myself. i got it bad for you, cam. then the night came when i got drunk and...well you know what happened from there."
"what i'm trying to say is that i'm a much different person than when charlie and i broke up. i see that now, but i honestly couldn't have done it without you." i said, concluding my explanation.
cameron took a deep breath and hesitated before finally responding, taking a moment to fully assess what i had said.
"did you ever really love me?" he asked, i could hear the fear and sadness in his voice.
"yes." i responded. i could see a small flicker of light in his eyes. i loved him. there wasn't going back now. i knew that now. "and don't even think for a second that i didn't mean it every time i said it to you. because i do."
cam went quiet again and i bit my lip once more, "i understand if you don't want to do this anymore. i kept this a secret from you for forever and i don't know how you can trust me anymo—"
before i could finish i was cut off bu cameron's lips connecting with mine. he soon pulled away and looked at me closely, "i know things have been hard for you, love. we've all got a bit of a broken past but i don't think that really matters now, does it?"
i smiled softly, "no, i suppose not. but i really am sorry about not telling you before."
cameron softened, "it's alright, i understand why you wouldn't want to tell me before. and i know what you're saying is true, because i've seen you. the real you, and i know you wouldn't let yourself do that if you didn't want us to be together."
"thank you."
"for what?"
"for being you. any other guy i would've told that to would've broken up with me on spot. but you actually listen to what i say. that and cause you're also a really good boyfriend." i laugh.
he chuckles softly, "well then, you're welcome. now, let's go home, it's been a long night and i'm tired. oh, and another thing?"
"yes?"
"could you, maybe, stay the night? it does get awful lonely sleeping alone." he offers.
i blush lightly, "of course, cam."
with that, the both of us headed home to get some well needed sleep (and cuddles). but i don't think any of us will forget this night. it's not a symbol of a bad thing, no, it's a symbol of growth. for the both of us, and for our relationship.