Nella shivered and licked her dry icy lips. She reached back to grab her water bottle and noticed there was only a little bit left. Her head turned to Tai.
He had been watching, and was looking up at her silently, but she could see the plead in his eyes. He looked at the bottle and then to her.
"Here," she handed her bottle to him. The water inside was ice cold. "You can have the rest. You need to stay hydrated. Stay strong."
He took it with a small, dirty shaking hand and held the bottle to his chest. "Are you sure? What about you?"
"I'll be fine. I'm not thirsty."
Tai blinked and observed her for a moment, then pulled the bottle to his lips, his eyes not leaving hers. Then he turned forward again as they walked, emptying the bottle and handing it back to her apolagetically, as if feeling selfish.
She took the bottle and packed it in her backpack, resting her hand on his shoulders reassuringly, hiding the fact that she was dying of thirst inside.
Jax turned around ahead of them to check where the sun was at. It was behind the tree tops of the forest behind them, which was far off now. The sky was barely orange from the sunset. What once was a beautiful thing that people watched for fun was now just a gray misty sunset, the fog and dust covering the art, the atmosphere broken up.
"Are we going to set up camp now?" She asked as Jax turned forward again. "It's going to be dark soon."
"No."
Nella sighed. Jax was still being snappy. They had walked two hours longer than they normally would, and he wouldnt give in to rest. He was determined that they had "wasted too much time at Mr. Banker's place anyway," and she guessed he was right. But his additude and shortness with her was bugging her. Tai had been quiet the whole trip, not wanting to set him off.
Her stomach growled and she thought about the original plan, to eat a little bit that morning. But Jax had said no, and had stopped them from making the fire. She wished they could eat now, but she knew arguing with Jax wouldn't help, she wouldn't win. His headache is making his thinking blurry. He's not making rational decisions. They couldn't just set up camp without him and eat, because with him in a mood like this, she was afraid he would keep on going without them, and they would get lost. Plus, he had the matches in his backpack. She had run out of lighter fluid a while ago, and all they had left was the box they had gotten back at the barn, which Jax held on to.
Suddenly Tai tripped and stumbled, but Jax whipped an arm out and grabbed the back of his jacket before he hit the ground, pulling him up to his feet. Tai's face turned pink in embarrassment but Jax kept looking forward. What happened to all the teasing and playing with Tai you used to do? All this because of a headache?
A sudden thought hit her that made her feel her panic start to return. She was used to thinking of worst case scenarios. You had to, if you wanted to be prepared and safe in today's world. He regrets helping us and traveling with us. He wishes he was on his own again, and knows we slow him down. He wants to leave us. She looked up at him, but all she could see was the back of his head. Is that it? What if he leaves today? Or tomorrow? Just disappears? She shook it off, telling herself she was just overthinking.
Something in Jax's mind must have clicked, because he stopped and turned around. "Okay, we'll stop now."
His sky eyes flicked from the sun to her, then to Tai. Tai's dull brown eyes stared at the dust blankly. Everyone's just out if it today.
Jax knelt down and helped Nella pull the tarp out of her backpack. They didn't talk or look at each other, just worked. They set it up and paused when part of the thin sheet tore. Nella looked at it worriedly. They needed a new sheet for a tent, the tarp was too old. Carefully, they pitched the rest up the way they normally did, standing it up with a long stick in the middle and weighing it down with rocks around the outside. Then they took the floor tarp and flattened it out below the roof of the tent. Next, they threw their blankets inside, setting Jax's lamp with them for later. Outside the tent, they looked for small twigs that had blown there from the forest, and piled them for a fire. There wasn't much wood to burn, and the forest was too far away to travel to. The fire wouldn't last long, but it was something. Tai sat down in the sand and watched, dazed, as they worked.
By the time they finished setting up the tent and eating a small dinner, night had fallen and the sky was completely black. Nella was grateful that they had stopped when they did, or they would have had to set up in the dark with just the lamp for light. They would have been vulnerable and unprepared if something came out of the forest, although she doubted anything would come out this far. She thought of the cougar that had followed them in the forest and shivered. Not here, please not here. There's nowhere to run to.
They all sat in the dust around the fire, in their normal spots. Tai and Nella side by side, with Jax across from them on the other side of the fire. Tai held a warm can of canned pork, eating slower as his small stomach filled. Jax sat quiet too, his eyes staring into the flames as he twisted a stick into the sand. After a moment, he pulled out the wooden wolf and began to chip away with his knife.
Nella looked up from the figure to Jax. "When do you think it will be finished?" She asked curiously, trying to make conversation. She observed all the etched marks of fur.
"Don't know," he replied flatly.
Nella tried to ignore the sting and looked away frustratedly.
Jax looked up and must have read her face, because he waited until she looked back at him. He locked eyes with her for a moment, then said, "but it doesn't really matter, does it? Time? Time is irrelivant in a place like this. There is nowhere to be at a specific time and no matter where the sun is we are still doing the same thing. And even if I did finish this useless fidget anytime soon, it would only mean I'd have nothing to ease my mind with once again."
Nella processed his words and nodded her head, understanding every word. It was like speaking her own mind, the part she tried to shut out because it was so bleak. "I guess you're right," she said as she looked back into the fire.
Jax didn't say anything else, just chipped away for a little while longer until he put it away to put more sticks in the fire.
Tai watched them both and finished his food, then set the can down on the ground. He looked up at Nella, and once again she thought she saw the fogginess in his eyes, although the shadows from the fire disturbed it. "Nella, I'm tired," he said, yawning. "I wanna go to bed now."
Nella smiled and gently stroked his hair, his sleepy eyes fluttering as he rested his head on her shoulder. "Okay, we'll get you tucked in," she replied softly.
Knowing he was already too sleepy, she picked the boy up and carried him to their tent. Jax looked up from the fire and watched as they disapeared inside.
"Do we have to walk that long again tomorrow?" Tai said desperately with a small whine in his voice. Nella placed him down on the floor tarp and covered him in his wool blanket.
"We should, because we'll get where we need to be sooner, but if you really don't feel up to it, we can stop."
Tai snuggled up in his blanket to get comfortable and blinked his brown eyes up at her in the dark. The only light was the faint orange glow of the fire through the tarp. "But I thought Jax was in charge, and he won't let us."
Nella stiffened. "What? No, Jax isn't 'in charge,' nobody is. We are just traveling together because we are going to the same place. And we don't have to listen to anything he says."
"But it kind of feels like we have to listen. He was mean today and I didn't like him today," he squeaked.
Nella looked down at him sympathetically and rested a hand on his cheek. "Did you prefer when it was just the two of us?"
"No, I liked when there were four of us."
She felt her chest ache and she ignored it. "I did too. But do you not want Jax with us anymore?" She avoided the subject of their parents.
Tai looked at his blue stone and thought for a moment. "No. I like him, he's fun. But sometimes he stares at me funny."
A deep sigh escaped Nella's chest and she felt her temper come back when she thought about Jax. Tonight. "Honey I think you're just imagining it. And today he was just having a bad day. But if you ever want to split up we can."
Tai nodded and rolled to his side, closing his eyes. "Okay."
"Okay." Nella stood up.
"Love you," Tai whispered.
"I love you too, Tai. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
Nella turned and walked out of the tent, feeling the comforting heat of the fire even stronger out of the tent. Jax looked up at her as she neared, and she sat back down in her spot. They both looked back into the fire, and nobody said a word. Nella wrapped her arms around herself and tried to ignore the pain in her chest. Tai had reminded her of one of the things she wished she'd forget, as awful as it seemed; her parents. She didn't want to feel hurt anymore when she thought of their faces, didn't want to remember the day they died, how she turned her back and walked away from them. She should have stayed, or gone back for them after she found Tai. The throbbing got stronger and she felt a ball in her throat. She sat rigid and felt Jax looking at her.
Suddenly a sound filled the silent night air, a sound that chilled Nella to the bone. It was a low howling moan that rang out like a siren somewhere in the plain. The sound of something in pain. Only it didn't sound like any animal that ever walked the Earth. It was something that didn't belong.
Jax sat up, alert, and turned to look around, trying to find the creature in the dark. After a moment, the sound when from a moan to horrifying shrieking, either from fear or excitment.
Nella strained her eyes, heart pounding, looking in the direction that the horrible noise was coming from. It wasn't loud from where they were, but by the sound of it she could tell that wherever it was, it was screaming at the top of its lungs. It was somewhere in the distance ahead of them. She could barely see the shadow of the crater a ways off, and the sound seemed to be coming from inside. Her eyes widened and she started to shake as the sound paused, then started up again. The only sound in the darkness besides the crackaling fire.
Jax turned and looked at her, blue eyes illuminated by fire, and she went cold when she realized on his face that he didn't know what it was either.
Jax looked back out into the dark and stood up. He pulled out his pistol and started loading it.
"W-what are you doing?" Nella stuttered.
Jax didn't look up, just kept putting in bullets. "Gonna go check it out. It's a threat to us and it could find its way here later in the night. It shouldn't be out here in the plains, I think it got chased out here or attacked. Should put it out of its misery."
Nella looked back at the tent where Tai was asleep. "What if it attacks you though? You're going on your own? W-"
"I'll be fine," he interupted, still not looking at her. He picked up his backpack and swung it over his shoulders. "You and Tai stay here, I'll be back in a bit."
Nella felt a sudden calmness hit her when he picked up his backpack, all his belongings. The only matches, half of their food, the map that lead to the only livable place. Everything seemed to slow down and become darker as she narrowed her eyes at him.
"Don't worry," he said reassuringly "I'll be fine." He turned and started walking into the dark, away from the light of the fire and towards the crater, leaving her and Tai behind alone.
"You're not coming back, are you?"
Jax stopped, his back still to her. When he didn't say anything, she said, "that's why you were acting strange. And that's why now you have all your things with you right now."
Slowly, Jax turned around. He was too far away from the fire for her to see his face. In the distance, the screaching sounded again. Then he quickly walked back up to the fire and suddenly he was right in front of her, blue eyes blazing and paralyzing her once again. "I would never! I told you I wasn't going to leave you two stranded! How many times do I have to prove myself? Why can't you just let me help you and believe that good people do still exist?"
His defensiveness surprised her and she couldn't tear her eyes away. "I dont know how to trust you because you keep so many secrets! At least you act like it. And when I ask you important questions you dodge them. I can't trust you to go out and leave, and do those types of things when I barely know anything about you!" She spat. She looked behind her to make sure Tai was asleep. He hadn't moved.
Jax's mouth dropped and his narrowed eyes burrowed into hers. She could feel his breath in her face. "Oh yeah?" He hissed back, keeping his voice low, also remembering Tai was asleep. "When was the last time you ever told me anything about yourself? You're basically just as much as stranger to me as I am to you!"
"But don't I always answer questions directly? Do I seem like I have anything to hide? I never know what you're thinking and you never finished what you were going to tell me earlier. I just wanted to clear it all up. And I thought you were going to leave, it just made sense." She could feel herself breaking down but she refused to let her voice crack. "Theres so many horrible people around, that I don't know how somebody would willingly want to help someone else so much, for nothing in return. That's not how people work anymore! There is no such thing as nice people, Jax! It's a trick! People only do nice things for other people to benefit themselves. They just want something from you."
Jax stood still and stared at Nella for a long time. Then he backed up and his gaze softened a bit. She felt the tension ease and he gave her a sympathetic look, the old Jax returning to his face. "That makes sense, but I don't want anything from you."
The words flew out like raindrops on a smooth stone. They were true. Stillness washed over her and she felt her shoulders relax. The intensity in Jax's eyes faded and she became lost in the bright blue. She saw no lies, only truth. Somehow, he had a way of suddenly making her see things straight. It was almost refreshing. She blinked and felt her brain relax as well, looking up at him open minded. Jax looked at her calmly and blinked back. "I was going to come back. I promise."
The shrieking noise in the darkness returned, and the cold crept back into her limbs. Jax stiffened and she felt her chest tighten once more. She shook her head and remembered what she had promised herself she'd do that night. To end all the anxiety.
"You can't leave until you finish what you started telling me."
Jax's eyes widened at her sudden forceful demand. She stood her ground and waited for his reply.
"If I do, will that fix everything?" He asked slowly. "Are you sure you think you'll be more comfortable around me after I tell you this?"
The way he said that made her hesitate but she nodded. "Yes. You are not leaving me and Tai alone here in the middle of nowhere until you tell me what makes you look at my brother's stone like that." And what your father has to do with it. "I have a right to know."
Jax looked back at her, straight faced. "So we're just going to leave the thing screaming in the crater until after I get all this out?"
"Yes. It doesnt sound like its moving and we're safer all together. Plus it's extremely far away."
"If you say so. But this might take all night to explain."
"I don't care. This has been a long time coming. Go for it."
"Okay, but if I tell you what I know, you have to tell me about yourself. To make it even. Anything I ask, you have to answer."
This made Nella a little anxious, and she felt her stomach lurch, but she nodded back, the shadows of the flames and darkness covering themselves as they stood face to face. "Okay."
Jax nodded and turned around, dropping his bag and sitting back down on the ground, bending over and running a hand through his hair. "Alright," he said, head down. "Sit down. Like I said, this is going to take a while. And you're not going to like it. Sometimes 'knowing' isn't always a relief."