( trigger warning! mention of drug use, addiction, and overdose. go ahead and skip this chapter if you're sensitive to any of these topics! )
june
i suddenly jumped in my seat and wake up. i look around at my surroundings and notice we were in the middle of nowhere. i look over to the drivers side and see dev sitting there with his arm resting on the wheel. "where's everybody?" he looked over at me and nodded over to the back.
"they're taking a piss break." he answered. i nod slowly and stare at his arm. i noticed there were some track marks on there. my father had some on his arms, he was addicted to shooting heroin into his veins.
"don't you have to take a piss break?" i asked him, i kept my gaze on his arm. i didn't know dev shot up, i figured he was just like joey and smoked some weed and maybe even took bars too, but i guess not.
"no, i don't." he suddenly pulled his sleeve down, covering up his track marks. i look at him and gulp. "i'm sorry i didn't mean to-"
"don't worry about it." he interrupts mid sentence. he looked away from me. i wanted to ask him if he has done it recently, but judging from his scars it looked like they were healing. yet, i couldn't seem to stop thinking about it. dev didn't look like the type to struggle with any form of addiction, i always thought he was the innocent one in the group actually.
but i'm guessing just like everyone else, he's trying to escape from his old life and start fresh. maybe that's why he's been so worked up about trying to get to vegas as fast as he can.
"do you still do it?" i blurted out. he stiffened up. shit, i shouldn't have said anything. i don't know why i even said that, it just came out. "you don't have to answer me, i didn't mean to-"
"three weeks." he interrupted me once again. i looked at him curiously. he kept his eyes out the window, eventually he looked over at me and hesitated before answering my question. "it's been three weeks since i've done smack."
he started explaining his whole situation on how he started. he grew up in a house full of drugs. both his parents were addicts, his mother even passed due to the overdose of coke. after her death, he changed. his father would beat him and blame him for her death even if he had nothing to with it.
but his addiction started his freshman year of high school.
dev *flashback*
i walked through the halls of this shit hole. nothing but fake people both left and right. rumors started spreading about how i got kicked out of my old school. half would say it was because i beat the crap out of this kid, the other half thought it was because of drugs. both parties were true.
i sold two g's to this guy i knew. i made the mistake of handing it over to him before getting my money. he kept telling me that he would pay me back as soon as he got the money, i believed him at first but then he kept making up excuses. i eventually got tired of his shit so i fought the kid, slammed his head against the locker about five times before someone had stopped me. i fractured the kids skull, but i couldn't care less.
i needed the money to get away from my father. i don't even do drugs myself because i didn't wanna end up like my father. i mean sure i smoke a bit weed and cigarettes, but i'm not a pill popper nor do i shoot up smack.
"hey, you're the new kid right?" i look up and see a brunette boy standing there, next to another brunette. i nod slowly and cross my arms. "yes, i am. who are you?"
"i'm bryce." he points over to the other brunette. "that's tayler, we wanted to ask if you'd want to sit with us during lunch?"
"we figured you don't have any friends so." tayler shrugged and crossed his arms. bryce rolled his eyes, but nodded. "yeah sure i'm down."
i hung out with them during lunch, they introduced me to this other kid named joey as well. turns out the three of them became good friends because they beat up a kid for tayler. i thought it was nice to them to do so, especially since there really aren't any friends like that anymore.
the three of them invited me to bryce's house. they wanted to smoke and get to know me more so of course i was down that. when we got to his place we all head out to his backyard. his house was a bit bigger than mine and i didn't notice until now but he lived in the same street as me.
we all sat down in a circle. it was weird since it felt like i was in a cult or something. i sat down on this beaten crate i had found. bryce was the first one to take a hit from the pipe then he passed it down to us. we all chilled there and talked until night.
"yo, guys..." tayler reached into his pocket and pulled out a small baggy. i looked at it closely and saw about four bars in there. joey immediately snatched it out his hand. he popped a pill into his mouth.
they all popped one except me. "do you want the last one dev?" bryce asked me. everyone's eyes went on me. "it's okay to say no, no peer pressure."
i shook my head. "no, no. i'll take it." everyone cheered and handed me the last bar that was in there. i took it out and hesitatingly popped it into my mouth. i didn't feel anything at first until it kicked in about under an hour. i'm not gonna lie it made me feel good. it really helped me take my mind off of things.
for the next couple of months the boys and i had gotten closer, but my addiction to pills had gotten worse. so bad that i ended up in the ER once due to one of the xanax being laced with fentanyl, i could have died, but i'm lucky i didn't.
my near death experience didn't stop my addiction though. it actually got worse. i had done coke, lean, smoked, popped pills, but there was one i haven't tried. it was shooting up heroin.
i was hesitant about it. my father did it all the time and it made him feel good. after my mother's death, i wanted to feel good too. i ended up taking some from my dads stash, i'm sure he wouldn't have minded.
i grabbed one of the needles, metal spoon and a syringe. i used a shoelace and tied it around my arm tightly so i can find a vein easily. i cleaned the spoon with a swab of alcohol.
after i finished getting everything ready i felt a bit scared. i didn't wanna do this, but at the same time i wanted to feel the power other people and my father felt when they did it. tayler had cut me off from his supply.
i stick the needle slowly into my vein at a 45-degree angle. i inject the drug into my arm slowly and steadily before pulling back the plunger.
*flashback over*
"my first time, i immediately fell in love with it. i kept doing it, i've tried stopping before, but i couldn't." i didn't realize i was crying until i saw a tear drop fall onto my lap. i didn't wanna seem like a wuss so i wiped my tears away.
"it's been threee weeks since i've done it and the boys don't know so please don't tell them." i look over at june with pleading eyes. she had a guilty look on her face and she looked like she was gonna cry herself. she nodded slowly. "your secret is safe with me, but dev.. please don't do this to yourself anymore."
i shook my head. "i wont. i threw my stash away before we left, i was gonna bring them but-" i was interrupted by the door opening. i look over my shoulder and watch joey and tayler get in the car. i widened my eye when i saw taylers lip bleeding. "what the hell happened?"
"tayler kept trying to pee on my shoe so i punched him!" joey shouted defensively. they started arguing with each other while june and i just sat there confused.
she leaned over and whispered into my ear. "i'm proud of you." she pulled away and shot me a smile. i smile at her then started the car, driving over to the road. we only had one hour left so we were almost at vegas.
i'm glad i opened up to june. i've never opened up to anyone this easily, but she made it easy on me. i guess joey was right, she is a charming girl.
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sorry for the long chapter, i know this chapter was probably really uncomfortable but dev is an important character in this book which is why i showed a peek of his backstory and you'll see why later on!