The night was long and uneventful. True to his word, Ban had allowed you to sleep in his bed with him. It brought the same comfort that it had the first time, and, although you didn't sleep, you were relaxed and at ease during the late hours of night and early moments of the morning. During this time, you had allowed your thoughts to ripen and your brain to churn, digesting all of the information you had been handed the previous day.
The first issue was the strange Holy Knight mage (you still assumed) who had attacked you the previous day. You weren't sure who they were or how they had gotten such a strange ability, but you did know it unsettled you. Someone like that shouldn't have free reign to roam around the kingdom- especially if they could attack someone so powerful successfully. You had decided that you would approach the King, as well as a few Holy Knights, to see if anyone knew of a Knight with such terrifying strength.
Then, there was the main issue, which you had contemplated for hours on end. Ban.
The man you had fallen head-over-heels for in a matter of days upon first meeting him. The man who still made your heart flutter after more than twenty years of knowing him. The man who was going to leave- sometime soon, although you didn't know when- you and the rest of the Sins for a dead girl. It sounded so strange when you thought about it like that, but it still made you shift with discomfort.
Inexplicably, hope had settled deep within your core, and you couldn't seem to shake it. Somehow you knew that he hadn't yet given up on you. That the reason he was looking for Elaine was not because he still loved her, but because of some greater purpose. Some reason that would make your entire body erupt in the fires of love and that would make you feel secure in your place once again.
It hurt still, you wouldn't lie. It hurt that he was going to leave- that there was not complete certainty that he would come back to you. Those two meager days where you and Ban had been together had been your happiest in some time, and you didn't want to give up on the one who had made them so. But love had to be two sided. Relationships had to be two sided. If they weren't- what was the point of being in them at all?
In the early morning, when you had been zoned out, contemplating these trivial things, the man beside you had stirred. In total honesty, you didn't like getting rooted in your thoughts. It tended to bring you to places you didn't want to be. You were actually somewhat relieved when Ban snapped you out of your thoughts, shifting and grumbling about what a nuisance waking up in the morning was.
You immediately snapped your eyes shut, relaxing to make it as believable as possible that you were asleep. Ban sighed softly, glancing down at your form. He noticed your expression, and, thinking that you were asleep, lightly grabbed you and pulled you into his chest.
"Y'know..." he mumbled, thinking you couldn't hear him, but still talking to you. You listened attentively, "I knew this guy... and he said 'If you fall in love with two people, always pick the second, because if you truly loved the first, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.' I told him he was an asshole and stole his wallet," he chuckled breathily, and his face turned slightly more somber. "I didn't think I would fall for anyone when I was a kid- I didn't like anyone. But... now I don't know. I'm stuck in this bullshit and... I don't know."
He hugged you slightly tighter. Your eyes were wide, but you made sure to keep up the facade that you were asleep. Ban sighed, turning his head to his face was buried in your messy hair. "(Y/N)... what do you think I should do? Ha, yeah, I know. 'Do what you want, asshole- don't worry about me.' That's what you'd say, right?"
There was a pause, where Ban's grip on you became a bit too tight.
"Ugh, this is so stupid...!" Ban huffed, letting go of you and sitting up. He sat on the edge of the bed, cheek pressed on his palm while his elbow rested on his knee. "Why the fuck should I care? I'll do what I want. If I pick Elaine, then I pick Elaine; if I pick (y/n), then I pick (y/n). It's not that goddamn complicated."
He turned back to look at you, his expression faltering slightly. You looked so innocent- pure, naive, and without a care. How could he live with himself if he hurt you..?
You tried your best to stay quiet and in your sleep-form, but you were freaking out. You didn't know the situation was bothering Ban so much. Frankly, he wasn't aware until now either.
Ban stood up and headed to the door, sighing. He glanced back at your form on the bed, then opened the door and left the room. He closed it quietly behind him, the ran a hand through his hair, yawning. He quickly scaled the stairs to the lower bar area, eager to begin his day with a strong alcohol.
However, the Goddesses just weren't on his side today.
"Hey Ban," said a serious voice. The man turned around, finding a child with brown-red hair sitting on a green leopard pillow. He groaned internally upon seeing King, but kept a stoic face plastered on his expression. "We need to talk."
Of course we do, Ban thought, annoyed.
"About what?"
"(Y/N)."
Ughhhhhhhhh of course.
"What about her?"
"You're leading her on," King said accusingly. "And you need to stop."
"I'm not 'leading her on'," Ban snapped, suddenly irrationally defensive, "I think you just have a problem with me and her."
"Of course I do!" King's face turned beat red as he fumed at the Fox Sin. "You have told me countless times that you love Elaine, and Elaine is your one and only. I tried to tell you otherwise- that you like (y/n) because it's so ridiculously obvious- but you said I was wrong. Then you two got together, and then you attacked her for Elaine. You're not good enough for her- especially with all the shit you've put her through."
"The shit I've put her through? Are you serious?" Ban demanded, "Believe it or not, asshole, I have my own shit to deal with!"
"Don't drag her into that!" King clenched his fists and grit his teeth, glaring at Ban.
"I'm not! I'm keeping her away from it! All you ever do is say it's my fault, but have you ever stopped to consider anything but her?" Ban growled, "You have problems. Captain has problem. I have problems. (Y/N) has problems. We all have fucking problems! She's not special!"
"That's why you don't deserve her!" His shout was loud and furious. "She's the only person here who has been mentally destroyed beyond all belief! If I were here, I would've killed myself by now! So would you! She lost everything! She was tortured for most of her life! And this is how you treat her?" King jabbed a finger into Ban's chest. "I don't know why she fell for you. You are the worst of all of us. You didn't learn from your Sin. You're still just as greedy as before."
"You little-!" Ban snarled, grabbing King by the collar. "You don't know what you're talking about. The only reason I'm not with (y/n) right now is because I know she deserves better! I'm still fucking bent on finding Elaine and she doesn't deserve that! You dumbass- I'm not a fucking idiot!"
"Yes you are! You think you're helping her but you're just making her feel worse about herself!" King shouted, pushing himself out of Ban's grip. "Just tell her! It's so obvious, and you can't see it! She thinks it's all her fault!"
"Wh..." Ban's eyes widened, but his expression quickly turned back into a fuming glare. He grabbed King, rearing his fist back, and the Grizzly Sin quickly readied his Chastiefol to attack. "You fucking-"
Before either of them could engage, they each got hit in the side of the head with a pint glass. Their eyes widened at the same time, their heads swiveling to find their assailant. However, they both were 99% sure they already knew who it was. They both flinched upon seeing you. You had put your hair up in a messy bun, and a pair of jeans and an oversized T-shirt, which was tied up to fit snugly, graced your figure. You were glaring at both of them, your arm in a throwing position still as you stared, your gaze hurt and angry.
"What is wrong with you guys?" You said, your bottom lip shaking slightly as you stared at the both of them. Neither of them moved, mostly because they were too scared to, so they remained in their offensive positions. "Are you seriously arguing over me?"
"(Y/N), wait, let me ex-" King said, his Chastiefol falling to the ground with a clang as he reached out toward you. Panic encompassed his entire being- what was he supposed to do in this situation? Nothing in the Protecting Your Little Sister From a Douchebag manual had prepared him for this!
"No, let me explain!" You growled, putting your arms down to your sides and clenching your fists. "You don't get to decide what I deserve! Don't criticize Ban for something he can't control, don't pretend like you know what I'm feeling, and don't make decisions for me! I'm not your little sister- I'm older than you, for Christ's sake! You have no right to compare me to everyone else. Like Ban said, we all have our own shit! Nobody is more damaged than anyone else.
"And you," You snarled, turning to Ban. "You have love problems- I get that. But don't you dare pretend that you're conflicted. You like Elaine more than me! Just fucking admit it!" Tears started to fall down your cheeks, your voice breaking. "We all know it, okay?! I'm not something to be won! You don't get to decide whether your 'finally worthy of my love' or some other bullshit! Don't get on some high horse and say there's some greater meaning to everything you do, because there's not!"
You panted as you glared at them, seething as tears ran down your face. You shook your head, your voice cracking upon speaking once again, "God, you're both idiots!"
During all of this, the ruckus had quite obviously awoken the other Sins. Gowther, Elizabeth, small-Diane, and Hawk all stood on the stairs, their heads poking out as they watched the scene with wide, concerned eyes. Well, except for Gowther. He was extremely interested in the interaction, though- he didn't get to witness such unadulterated human emotion very often. Meliodas and Merlin had come from the back room, watching the scene unfold in sadness and slight disappointment. For context, Merlin had returned to speak to the Dragon Sin about returning to the Sins. In fact, she had approached him this morning, just before the argument between the Grizzly and Fox Sins broke out.
"(Y/N), wait!" Diane and Elizabeth shouted in tandem, jumping out from their place behind the wall. Elizabeth immediately went rushing after you, stumbling as she hurried out the door and after you. Diane, however, stomped over to Ban and King, punching them so they crashed through the ground. She then proceeded to shout at them for being so insensitive. Hawk gladly joined her. Merlin and Meliodas stayed where they were.
"What happened?" The Captain asked.
"(Y/N) is a sensitive one," Merlin sighed, staring at the ajar door. She outstretched her hand. "Mindspace Witness."
I small purple orb shot from her finger, and made contact with your form, which was long gone at this point. She grimaced as she entered, as the power suggested, your Mindspace. It was a place that showed the spell-caster a synopsis of what the target was feeling.
The world around her was cold and a deep blue, flooding with the black waters of regret. An apparition of your form hovered in the center of the expansive room, encased within an orb that blocked the water from getting it. However it had a small crack, and the water was slowly seeping in- one drop at a time. 'You' had your knees hugged to your chest, and 'you' stared down at the floor, eyes glassy and unfocused.
The room was large, and expansive, but there wasn't much detail. In certain areas, the walls and ceiling's blue shifted to a crimson, and the bottom half of the room (where the waters had made contact) had turned pitch black. Scrawled across the walls were white letters, meaning the thoughts were strong. All it said was, 'it's all my fault' over and over again. Occasionally, a 'why can't I do anything right?' would appear, but it was all the same apart from that.
Merlin frowned, hovering over the raging waters in your consciousness until she reached the bubble in which the embodiment of your mind was contained. She seeped through it easily, approaching the glowing white apparition of your body. When she entered the space, 'you' looked up at her, eyes squinted, and confused.
"My dear (y/n)," Merlin sighed, "You must stop blaming yourself for things you cannot control."
She tapped your forehead and smiled slightly, your figure turned a light purple and the waters that filled the room calmed. The words along the walls dimmed in their brightness, but there was only so much she could do with the raging guilt and regret that coursed through you. Even the most powerful mages couldn't completely erase inner turmoil- especially one such as this.
She snapped her fingers and she appeared back in the bar, directly in the same moment she had been in before going to your Mindspace. She turned toward Meliodas.
"She cannot be easily swayed in determination, but her emotions- especially those of a negative nature- can be toyed with by the simplest things. And thus," she gestured toward Diane and Hawk telling King and Ban off. Meliodas nodded, sighing.
"And on the day before the ceremony, too," the captain groaned, walking forward and attempting to diffuse the argument. Merlin stayed back, watching the bickering from afar. She glanced toward the door, her melancholy expression turning slightly sour. Still, she refused to show worry or regret, so she turned her attention back to the group.
You would figure this out- she had no doubt in her mind.
Somehow, you always managed to.