Alvin remained quiet as the days went by. He kept on mulling on the thought about being with Max. He didn't want to make the wrong decision and ruin their already confused and twisted friendship, so he tried his best not to say anything that would warrant any hope in Max.
But the youngest Ackerman certainly was slightly taken aback at how cool Max was taking this. It was as if he never asked Alvin to think about them. It was as if he never confessed. However, it also meant that Max didn't speak to him.
Alvin fidgeted in his seat as he stared at the notebook in front of him. The teacher was speaking in front of the class but he couldn't focus on him. He was more focused on the fact that Max didn't ask about his answer. Could it mean that Max was probably just kidding when he said he liked Alvin that way?
That thought didn't make Alvin feel good inside.
If that was the case, he felt stupid.
The youngest Ackerman rubbed the thought off immediately. It didn't sound like Max to act that way. When he was serious about something, Alvin knew that he was serious. That day? He was serious. The young scientist honestly didn't know what to do. He didn't dare to go up to Max and ask him about the reason he was acting like this.
It could be that the reason Max was acting so reserved could be well nothing to do with him. But something in Alvin's mind disagreed with that reasoning. His gut told him that Max was deliberately ignoring him. He fidgeted in his seat once more as the time ticked on slowly.
Did Max really like me, then?
Abby's words had been running in his head for the past few days and Alvin was getting slowly convinced that maybe this wouldn't be a bad idea. But Max's abrupt change in his way of treating Alvin had him thinking twice about his decision. Should he even go for it now that Max was ignoring him?
Alvin took in a deep breath and decided that he would wait a bit longer to see what Max would do.
The youngest Ackerman walked down the hallways with his mind preoccupied with Max. He didn't know what to do with this problem. He turned to the corner and continued walking to his locker. Once he reached the metallic door, he turned the knob around and opened the door.
He sighed as he placed the books inside. His heart throbbed gently in his chest when he remembered how hopeful and scared Max looked when he confessed to him. It somehow ignited hope in his own heart at the thought that he wasn't alone in feeling this way. After so much mulling, after so much silence, he realized that he didn't like Max being away from him.
He closed the locker door once he took the books he needed and adjusted his glasses. Just then, he heard a group of people laughing, passing by Alvin's locker. The youngest Ackerman looked at the crowd and froze when he saw who was at the center of attention. Max simply carried on talking with his group as they walked past Alvin.
The young scientist took a step back at the sudden stab feeling in his heart. Max once again ignored him and walked away. That rarely happened and now that Alvin was seeing it eye-to-eye with the problem, he felt like Max really was avoiding him.
What did I do wrong?
Alvin simply shook his head as he gathered his things and walked away.
Dinner was exceptionally awkward to say the least. The family was eating their meal like they usually would at this time of the day, but the heavy atmosphere stopped any natural conversation from occurring. Max was sitting next to Alvin, as per usual, and the snowboarder was talking about his day with that grin like he always did, but this time it seemed forced. There was something amiss and Alvin knew what it was.
Diane simply looked at her son before she glanced at Max. Abby simply played with her food, occasionally shooting weird looks at the young scientist. Lloyd? He simply didn't want to get involved in whatever this was. Alvin didn't feel hungry. His appetite diminished when he realized Max might really want to stop being his friend.
"And then there's this girl, she's hot I tell you," Max said as he continued on talking about snowboarding and girls. Alvin gripped the fork tight and stared at the food with little interest. His ears were ringing from the words and he knew that the bubbling feeling in his chest was actually known as jealousy.
Before Max could continue anymore about this third-time mountain babe, Alvin had slammed the fork harshly on the table, silencing Max. "Mom, I would like to be excused."
Diane didn't ask why. She simply bit her bottom lip in worry before she glanced at Max. Alvin didn't wait for a reply either. He simply stood up and stalked his way up the stairs, heading to his bedroom. Once he was inside, he closed the door tight and leaned against it. His heart was racing wildly against his chest and the jealousy that was blubbering inside was becoming slightly acidic.
He walked to his bed before he proceeded to sit down at the edge. To be honest, he didn't expect the snowboarder to behave this way. He thought he was being given space to think about this life-changing decision but instead, it felt as if Max wanted to get rid of Alvin and move on... preferably with that third-time mountain babe, whatever that meant.
The youngest Ackerman felt horrendous at the thought that he was being fooled. Maybe Max hadn't meant what he said after all. Maybe he thought Alvin was innocent enough to fall for that. Alvin didn't like that idea very much as he took out his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He really wanted to hate Max now. He bitterly laughed at the thought. As if that was possible since he apparently had more than friendly feelings for the snowboarder. Just then, the door opened and Alvin knew pretty much who it was without having to look at him.
He wasn't in the mood to look at the snowboarder in the face, so he got up and wore his glasses before he tried to push past Max and get to the door. However, before he could move past the snowboarder, Max had circled his fingers around the youngest Ackerman's right wrist and halted him. "Shred."
Alvin simply tried to tug the wrist away. This was the first time in a while since Max had even spoken to him. "Shred—"
"Let me go, Max or I will hurt you," Alvin threatened as he glared at the fingers gripping his wrist. Seconds of silence filled in as the anger started to bubble in Alvin. Why was Max behaving this way? Max finally let Alvin go but the snowboarder tried to stop the young scientist from leaving.
"Shred, listen," he started. Alvin looked up at the snowboarder, a frown marking his face.
"I don't think so, Max," he sneered. Max looked genuinely hurt at the words but that fuelled the anger in the younger boy even more. He didn't even have the right to look hurt when Alvin was the one getting ignored all this while. Then, the anger burned down to hurt and the young scientist looked away. "What do you want?"
"Shred, dude, come on," Max said as he took a step forward. "What's wrong?"
Alvin immediately looked back at the snowboarder and glared. "What's wrong?" he asked, his lips thinned along the way. "Did you seriously ask me that, Max?"
"Shred?"
"You ignored me, Max!" Alvin finally exclaimed, hurt washed in his tone as he took a step back. "You ignored me! What was that all about, Max?"
The snowboarder looked once again genuinely confused. He furrowed his eyebrows as he took another step forward. "I don't know what you're talking about, Shred," he said. "I wasn't ignoring you!"
"Yes, you were!" Alvin said as his eyes widened in disbelief. "What's wrong with you? You were ignoring me. You didn't speak to me ever since that day! Just say it, Max, you didn't mean it," Alvin spit out bitterly as he frowned deeper. His heart was aching even more now. To think he thought Max meant it. "Just admit that you were just joking about what you said that day."
Max took another step forward, this time, all playfulness was gone from his eyes. "Shred, that's stupid," he said. "What day are we talking about here?"
Alvin felt his mind screeching at halt at the words. Did Max seriously ask him that? He felt his cheeks reddening when he recalled the exact words the snowboarder used to confess his feelings for him. Now he was asking Alvin what day it was? "Max," he sneered. "Don't act dumb."
"I'm not!" Max said as he blinked. And then, realisation seemed to have dawned in him when he shaped his mouth into an O.
"Oh," he said shortly. "Oh, Shred, that."
Alvin looked away. He didn't want to stand in the same room as Max at the moment. "Shred," Max said and his voice sounded soft as if he was trying to soothe him. "Shred, look at me. Shred."
The young scientist stubbornly looked away. "Leave me alone, Max," he said as he turned around and tried to walk away. However, before he could take another step back, Max once again wrapped his fingers around Alvin's right wrist and tugged him around. The force of the tug was quite big, causing the younger boy to stumble on his foot.
Max however wrapped his free arm around the young scientist's waist and held him from falling down, dragging their bodies close. Alvin immediately realized what was going on and turned red, his heart beat started to increase and panic was taking over. "M-Max!" he exclaimed as he looked at the snowboarder.
The snowboarder simply smiled at him and the intensity of the smile had Alvin staring at him a bit. What was going on? The grip around his waist tightened as Max took in a breath. He looked at the young scientist in the eyes. "Shred, you got it all wrong."
"Wrong?" Alvin once again bit out, the frustration instantly replacing the soft thump in his chest. "Wrong? Max! Don't act dumb. Don't make me angrier too."
Max simply shook his head. "Shred, bro, I would never hurt you."
"You did," Alvin retorted. Max went still before he sighed out loud. "Besides, you didn't mean it, did you? You were just saying it for fun, didn't you, Max?"
Max shook his head. "Shred, no," he said as he frowned. "I never joke about my feelings, man."
Alvin glared at him. "Then why did you ignore me, Max? You told me you liked me that way and then you ignored me! Now you're talking to me because you're forced to. I bet mom told you to see what had me upset!"
"Shred!" Max exclaimed, clearly starting to get agitated. "I never lied about my feelings, man." He took another step, this time, Alvin was flushed close to Max. The youngest Ackerman's mind started to go blank at the close proximity and his cheeks turned rosy once more. His heart beat was also having a field day. It seemed like he liked this feeling, this feeling of being this close with the taller boy.
"Well, you lied," Alvin bit back, ignoring the flutter in his stomach as he looked at Max in the eyes. "Y-you didn't talk to me. I was—I thought—" Alvin stopped as he felt the hurt clouding his mind.
He looked away. "I thought you didn't feel the same way as me, I didn't know what to think."
Silence echoed in between them before he felt Max rubbing his right wrist. Before Alvin could comprehend at what was happening, he felt Max's fingers grazing against his gently and finally intertwining them. Alvin looked down to their hands before he looked back up at Max. He felt his breath hitch in his throat when he realised how close their faces were from each other.
"M-Max?" The anger slowly lessened and it turned into something like hope when he realised how clear and happy Max's eyes were.
"Shred," he said and his voice was soft and slow. "Did you really mean it? You—you feel the same way?"
Alvin then realised what he had said and almost stuttered out in panic. "I—" Alvin started but he couldn't deny it. Something in him finally heaved in relief at being able to let Max know about his feelings. No more hiding, no more secret wishes. It was out there, laid on the table. Alvin nodded at the end, unable to exactly say the words.
Max grinned widely, for the first time since this all started. Their intertwined fingers tightened and Alvin had to remind himself to breathe. "But, Max, you ignored me."
"I was giving you space to think," Max said as his grin simmered down into a sheepish smile. "I thought, you know... you needed some time to think. So I stayed away, tried to keep my cool and all." Alvin frowned at the words.
"Max—"
"I didn't mean to hurt you, Shred," Max continued, cutting him off. "I don't want to hurt you. I just didn't want to pressure you."
Alvin took a few seconds to realize what Max was trying to say before his eyes widened. The anger, the disappointment, the jealousy, they all disappeared, leaving something like clarity in his heart. "You were giving me space to think?" Alvin asked and Max simply nodded. The youngest Ackerman noticed the soft blotches of red on the snowboarder's cheeks and realized that he was telling the truth.
Something about that situation had him feeling like his heart was grabbed and tickled. "But what about that mountain babe?" Alvin asked as his voice quietened at the end. Max simply chuckled before he took his hand away from Alvin's waist and placed them on his face. His fingers traced down to his chin before nudging the boy to look at him.
"Dude," Max said with a wide grin. "You're the only one I see."
Alvin felt his heart skip a beat at the words. He immediately reddened once more at the affection playing in Max's eyes. "Max," he started but the snowboarder simply grinned wider. "That's gross."
Max laughed at that before he shrugged. "Relax, bro," Max said as his fingers then softly caressed Alvin's cheeks. "I mean it. I like you, okay? Do you like me back?"
Alvin opened his mouth to retort at the blunt words. But he couldn't when he saw how hopeful Max was. "Yes, Max," Alvin said as he gave out a shy smile. Suddenly, he felt as if he was this new person in front of Max. So introvert and shy, he didn't know he even had this side of him. Well, he knew he was shy but never like this. "I—I like you too."
Max nodded and slowly, he leaned down, lessening their distance once more as their intertwined fingers bumped together. Alvin felt his breath hitching once more at the close proximity and wondered what Max was about to do. "Max?" he questioned though it came out almost like a whisper.
"Shred," Max started, his eyes were now trailing Alvin's lips. The young scientist felt cautious as he was frozen to the ground. "I want to kiss you."
Once the words were out, Alvin went deadly still. He didn't breathe, his eyes were wide in shock and his mind went blank. "W-what?"
"I want to kiss you," Max repeated as his hot breath touched and lingered against his own lips. Alvin momentarily closed his eyes tight and tried to think about it. But he didn't know what to think. He never kissed anybody in his life before.
"Max, I... I haven't—"
"I know," Max said gently as he continued to caress Alvin's cheeks. "Can I—can I be your first?"
Alvin opened his eyes to stare at those warm hopeful brown ones. He was nervous. He felt the panic washing away and it was replaced with nervousness. He gulped before he licked his lips. Max's eyes once again drawn back to his lips and Alvin knew now that he might be slightly interested on how it would feel like to kiss him.
He pondered on it a few seconds before he nodded. "Okay."
Max looked at Alvin in the eyes before a gently smile broke out from his lips. "I'll be gentle, okay?" he said as he leaned in a bit closer. Alvin simply nodded as he felt those fingers finally shaped and placed against his jaw and cheek. Then, Alvin closed his eyes when he felt Max's lips grazing against his.
The sudden trail of electricity-like feeling that went down his spine had Alvin squeezing his eyes shut. Max huffed out a breath against his lips causing another shiver down his body. After that, Max finally kissed him, his lips fully against Alvin's. The pure intensity of just slotting their mouths like that had Alvin weak in his knees in a matter of seconds.
He didn't expect this from just a kiss.
Max kissed him slowly, taking his time to touch and feel their lips up together, and before Alvin could stop himself, he was gingerly pushing against to lips as well, kissing Max back. His left hand which was rigidly next to him subconsciously reached out to Max's shoulder before he placed them there.
Their kiss wasn't deep or passionate. It was a simple kiss for beginners and Max slowly broke their kiss apart, licking his own lips as he grinned widely at Alvin. The young scientist simply opened his eyes and blinked. He felt his face heating up from the kiss and his whole body felt weak.
He didn't know this was possible.
"That was..." Alvin started but he didn't know how to finish. He had given his first kiss to Max. He felt the shyness taking over him immediately as he looked away to the ground. Max simply nudged his face to meet his eyes again.
"Perfect," Max finished his sentence.
"Whatever," Alvin huffed out, although he felt different now. As if everything he feared had left his mind. He felt... free.
"Are we together now? For reals?" Max asked as Alvin looked through his eyes, searching for the answer.
"I—I guess," Alvin said.
"Really?" Max taunted. Alvin knew that he wanted to hear the words from his own mouth. So, he took in a deep breath. He guessed he really wanted this. He wanted to be with Max this way. It felt so right all of a sudden and the silence between them had him craving for the snowboarder even more now.
"Yes, Max," Alvin said as he gave the snowboarder a smile despite his rosy cheeks. "We're dating."
Max laughed heartily and happily at his words, already glowing bright. Alvin hadn't really noticed that. But now that he did, Alvin felt like he was stuck again in this bright world of colors that Max had painted. "I really do like you," Alvin finally said, blurting out the words. But he didn't regret them. Max just seemed to glow brighter at that.
"I really like you too," Max said. "I really do, and I—I'll be good to you."
Alvin didn't know how to respond to that as he looked at his hand which was still on Max's shoulder. He slowly curled the fingers around the shirt and tugged it under his fingertips. He felt happy. Something warm finally took over him and all the anxiety left him. "Me too," Alvin said and Max laughed once more.
Nudging his chin one more time, Alvin looked at Max. Then, the snowboarder leaned in and gently blew against his lips, causing Alvin to close his eyes. "One more time?"
Alvin didn't have time to respond to that as Max's lips descended onto his. This time, his mind went completely blank and for the first time in his life, he liked it.
Yeah, okay. I could do this.
Alvin kissed him back once more, even though he was still inexperienced. He would learn along the way he presumed as Max's shirt was balled under his fingers and the other hand intertwined tight with Max's fingers. Yeah, he would get used to this.
He really liked Max and he knew now that Max liked him back.
Max was smiling into the kiss as Alvin hummed out, accidentally speaking out what was on his mind.
"Dude," Max finally broke the kiss as he huffed out. "Stop thinking."
Alvin snapped his eyes wide and stared at the snowboarder. "W-what? I wasn't—"
"Too much talking."
Then, he kissed Alvin again. This time, he really couldn't think.
Max, you idiot. Alvin scolded gently in his mind as his eyes closed once more and the world was turning blank behind him.
But you're my idiot.