BELLAMY POV
1 October 2155
When Raven came to me last night to tell me that we were going home, I almost didn't believe her. For five years, going home is the only thing I've had to look forward to. For the past six months, it's felt as if it was some untouchable fantasy, always just barely out of my reach. But here we are, having just landed on Earth, and I have no words to describe the myriad of emotions flowing within me right now.
"Bellamy, would you like to do the honors?" Raven asks, motioning to the lever that will open the doors to the planet we call home.
A feeling of déjà vu hits me hard, and suddenly I can't breathe. Six years ago, I was going to open the dropship door when a know-it-all princess told me to stop.
"The air could be toxic," she said.
"If the air's toxic, we're all dead anyway," I retorted.
That's where it all started, Clarke's and my thing with closing the door on each other, with me opening that dropship door. She closed the dropship door on me during our battle with the grounders in order to save our people, the 100. Not too long after that, I closed the rocket door on her in order to save myself and our friends. And now I stand, preparing to open the door to the Eligius ship. Albeit, it's not the same door I opened years ago, but it feels all too familiar. Only this time, I'm opening the door to a world without Clarke Griffin in it.
"Come on, Blake, we're not getting any younger," Raven speaks again, shaking me from my thoughts. I steel myself as I reach for the lever and pull, opening the door.
For a few moments, no one moves or speaks. We stare into the trees as we take our first breath of fresh air since Praimfaya. Finally, Murphy is the first one to step foot on the ground.
"We're back, bitches!" He hollers, mimicking what my sister said in our first moments on this planet what seems like a lifetime ago. We slowly make our way out into the sunlight, reveling in the indescribable feeling of the sun's warm rays on our faces. The only way this moment could feel any better is if Clarke was here with me.
Suddenly, I hear rustling of leaves from the trees to my left and I turn my head just in time to see a figure rushing towards me. The child stops just a few feet away from me and she looks up at me completely mystified.
"Dad?" She asks in a dazed voice. "Mom knew you guys would come!" She launches herself into my arms before I get a second to process her words.
Dad. Mom.
"Look, kid, no offense, but who are you?" Murphy asks abruptly.
She pulls herself out of my arms and looks to everyone else standing around us before speaking again.
"Oh, right, sorry. I haven't met anyone since I was five, so this is pretty new to me. I'm Madi. And you guys are..." she pauses briefly, as if deciding where to start. "Murphy, the funny one. Raven, the strongest, coolest person ever. Monty, the smart one. Harper, the loving one. Emori, the survivor. And Bellamy, fighter, leader, protector. Someone's missing, though. Where's Echo?"
Everyone is too stunned to speak, seeing as she just named and described us all with complete accuracy.
"I'm sorry, Madi," Harper breaks the silence, "I think we're all just a bit confused here. How are you alive? And how do you know our names?"
"And you called me Dad..." I trail off, leaving the question open-ended. I still can't think straight. Dad.
"Impressive intel, I know, but I've been getting to know you guys since I was five. I'm Clarke's daughter. She found me about two months after Praimfaya, we've been together ever since. And—"
"Clarke's alive?" I cut her off.
"Yes, she's alive. I'm surprised you didn't know, she's been calling you on the radio every day for five and a half years. I can take you to her, but I'm going to need you to give me a head start. And maybe you should come alone first. The others can follow a bit later. Is that okay with everyone?"
I barely register everyone else's responses as I nod my head. My mind has gone numb and I have only one thought: Clarke.
"Good. I need you to give me a ten-minute lead, and then you can follow me to the village. It's a straight shot from here, you can't miss it."
After that, she runs off through the trees again and I wait until she's completely out of sight before I take my eyes off of her.
My friends talk amongst themselves, but all I can think about are Madi's words: Mom. Dad. I'm Clarke's daughter. She's alive. Mom. Dad.
Dad. Why would she call me that? Unless... Clarke. But the only reason she'd be calling me Dad instead of my name is if Clarke told her about us, about the way we were before we were separated by Praimfaya. She called me on the radio every day for the 2,011 days we were apart. This whole time, I've been wondering if she felt the same for me as I do for her and without even knowing, Madi gave me all the confirmation I need.
I'm practically holding my breath as I pace outside the doors to the ship waiting for the ten minutes I promised Madi to be up, and as soon as they are, I take off running through the woods.
I run as fast as I can and within minutes, I find myself standing at the edge of a clearing that holds a few small cabins, hammocks, and trees hung with decorative pieces of fabric. All in all, it looks homey. My eyes search the area until they land on a familiar head of blonde hair, and as soon as I lay eyes on her, any sense of composure I was holding on to went out the window.
She sits across the clearing with her back to me, seated in a chair next to a satellite, holding a radio in her hand. I walk about halfway across the clearing before I say, "Hey, princess."
Her head whips around so fast at the sound of my voice, and for the first time in five and a half years, I look into the eyes of the woman I love.
"Bellamy?" It's as if the entire world stills for a second when my name leaves her lips, but then it's moving again as she runs towards me at full speed.
She launches herself into my arms and, unlike the first time she hugged me so many years ago, I don't falter. This time, I'm ready. I welcome her into my arms as I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. As I lift her off her feet and twirl her around, I know for certain that I've never been happier than I am in this moment.
The last time we hugged each other, it was full of fear and sadness. This time, it's a hug full of relief and joy. It's the first time we've touched since we said goodbye five and a half years ago, yet she relaxes into my embrace like it's the most natural thing in the world. Like we didn't just spend years apart, separated by an entire galaxy.
I feel her start to sob within my embrace and I pull away from her to get a better look at her face. Even though I'm holding her by her shoulders, her sobs bring her to her knees and I'm barely quick enough to position myself under her to catch her fall. I hold her in my lap, and she buries her face in my chest as her sobs subside.
"It's okay princess, I'm here," I whisper into her hair soothingly. "I'm never letting you go again."
We pull apart, finally taking a moment to really look at each other. I take her hand and lead it up to my cheek, hoping it will help anchor her, help convince her that I'm really here. As I look into her eyes, which are even bluer than I remember them being, I can't hold myself back anymore. I press my lips to hers, gently at first, but our kiss only grows deeper as we soak in the reality that we're together again.
We kiss for what seems like forever, but eventually I'm the one to pull away. I push a strand of her hair, which is now cut to a bob, behind her ear and study her face. How is it possible that she's gotten even more beautiful?
"Bellamy," she blushes, and I realize I had spoken the question aloud. "You came."
"I'm here," I assure her.
"You're real. You're home," she whispers, still in shock.
"I'm home, princess. I'm so sorry, Clarke. I left you behind to die," I shudder as I finally issue the apology I've been waiting five and a half years to get off my chest.
"You don't need to apologize. You used your head, just like I told you to. I'm proud of you, Bell." No one but Octavia ever calls me Bell, but hearing the name come from Clarke's lips, it just feels right.
"I'm sorry for leaving you alone," I say, in spite of the fact that she just told me not to apologize.
"I wasn't alone."
"Right, you had Madi," I had forgotten about the little girl who lead me to Clarke. She looks at me, confused, and I realize that she doesn't know I met Madi. "I ran into her right after we landed, she's the one who brought me to you. So, while I've been in space, you left me 2,011 voicemails and adopted a kid. You've certainly kept yourself busy, princess."
"Actually, Bell, there's more," she looks down, clearly nervous about what she has to say next. Seeing her so nervous makes me nervous, so I place my hand over hers and give her a look of encouragement.
"Whatever it is, princess, you can tell me."
"Well, you remember how we... in the lab, we... before Praimfaya, we—" she stutters. It's cute seeing her so nervous to say the words we both know she's trying to say.
"We had sex, princess. Of course I remember, that memory has kept me going for the past five years. It's the best memory I have of this planet." She's still in my lap on the ground, but we've pulled apart slightly so we can see each other's faces, so I can see the furious blush creeping up her neck.
"I got pregnant, Bell," she whispers, seemingly ashamed by the confession. She finally raises her eyes to meet my gaze.
"Oh, Clarke," I sigh. I pull her closer now, though, knowing that we each need the other for support. "Did you—?"
"I had the baby. Actually, babies. We have twins, Bell, and they're the most amazing little kids."
"Twins... we have twins?" I ask, knowing the answer, but still not fully capable of processing the information.
"A boy, Augustus Lincoln, and a girl, Aurora Abigail. They were born on December 1, 2150, perfectly healthy. They look just like you."
Those names. Our daughter is named after my mother, and hers, and our son's name comes from a story I didn't realize she remembered. One night I was telling her about raising Octavia and I told her how I named her for the sister of the first Roman emperor, Augustus. The fact that she not only remembered the story but was thoughtful enough to name our son in honor of it blows me away.
"And Madi?"
"She's 11 now, I found her two months after Praimfaya when she was five. She's a Nightblood, just like me. She's an amazing big sister, she helped me deliver the twins. She reminds me a lot of you and the way you take care of Octavia, actually. The twins are crazy about her, and they know all about you, Bell. I drew portraits of you and all the others, so they know your faces and I've been telling them stories about all of you for their whole lives. They've been looking forward to meeting you."
"Can I? Meet them, I mean. I'd like to meet them," I say eagerly, hoping she'll say yes.
"Of course, Bell, they're your babies. I just didn't want to spring them on you right away in case you felt like you needed time to process or something."
"I've already lost almost five years with them, princess, I don't want to miss another second."
She smiles at me, relieved by my response. I pick her up, cradling her in my arms as I stand up. I kiss her on her forehead before I set her down, and in turn, she kisses me on the lips again.
"Princess?" I ask, reaching for her hand as she turns to walk away.
"What's wrong?"
"There's something I need to tell you," I start, but she immediately takes it the wrong way.
"Oh... did you move on? It's okay if you did, it's been over five years. After all, we weren't technically together before Praimfaya, so you didn't need to wait for me or anything. What we did meant a lot to me, so I just thought—" She's rambling, which she tends to do when she gets nervous.
Instead of responding, I plant another kiss on her lips to silence her.
"I haven't been with anyone since you. How could I move on when I still had hope you were alive? I've been dreaming of this moment for five and a half years."
"You dreamed of me?
"Every damned day."
"Wait, how did you know about the radio calls?" She asks, just coming to understand my comment about the 'voicemails' she left me.
"Madi told me. I'm so sorry I didn't hear you. I guess you didn't hear me either, because I called you every day too."
"Oh, Bellamy," she whispers, overwhelmed again, and she leans in to kiss me. This kiss is soft and sweet, not as passionate as the one we shared a few moments ago but equally as meaningful. When I pull away, I look her in the eyes, and whisper the words I've been longing to tell her all these years.
"I love you, Clarke. I always have. My biggest regret is that I didn't tell you I loved you soon enough."
With my words, she's kissing me again. We get carried away in each other, not caring about the fact that our friends could walk in on our little make out session at any moment. She's the one to pull away this time, and when I look at her again, she's beaming at me through her tears.
"I love you too, Bellamy Blake. Now what do you say we go see our babies?"
"I think that's a great idea," I say, kissing her on the forehead again before I place my hand in hers. "Where are they?"
"Madi came running up to me a little bit before you got here begging me to let her take them to the river while I called you," she motions to the radio and a look of realization crosses her face. "That sneaky little girl. She took them to the river so we could be alone."
"I guess I should thank her for that, because I wouldn't have wanted this moment any other way. I think we deserved a little alone time after being apart for so long. And later tonight, I'll show you just how much I missed you, but right now I've got kids to meet."
She blushes again at my innuendo, and I realize I'd forgotten how easily I could make her blush. She leads me through the trees and after a short walk, we reach the river. It's amazing that she was able to find this place. It's clear to me that she and the kids have had everything they need to survive here, shelter, water, and plenty of fish and berries.
Clarke turns to me and places a single finger to her lip, indicating that she wants me to be quiet. I look at her curiously, and she points down the small hill to the river, where I see them. My children. Our children. I feel pride rising in my chest as I glance from the kids to Clarke. Her resilience is astounding. She had twins and raised these children by herself for five years. I place a kiss in her hair before she moves again, this time advancing towards the kids.
"Hi, my babies," she says gently. Madi, who already knows what's going on, turns the twins' attention in our direction.
"Daddy!" They both shout as they rush towards me as fast as their little legs can carry them. I kneel down to catch them both in my open arms. They hit me at full force, knocking the breath out of me, but I'm too happy to care about that. Madi follows behind them and she hugs me from behind. I look up through teary eyes to see Clarke standing above us, so I reach out to her and she joins us on the ground.
It takes everything in me not to start weeping, but I refuse to let that be the first real memory my children have of me. Instead, I take the twins and I put them a little bit in front of me so I can get a good look at them. Clarke was right, they look like me. Aurora looks so much like Octavia did when she was little, it's uncanny. Augustus, too, though his blue eyes are a dead giveaway that he's Clarke's child.
Despite their resemblance to me, I see so much of Clarke in them. They have her round face shape, and the little dimple in her chin is evident in theirs as well. They have her smile, too. I can already tell that they'll have me wrapped around their little fingers in no time.
"I'm so happy to finally meet you guys," I say, pulling them back into my embrace and kissing them on their foreheads.
"I wanna show you my room Daddy!" Augustus says eagerly.
"Me too! I wanna show you my drawings!"
"And Mommy's drawings!"
"Yeah! And—"
"Alright, settle down you two," Clarke cuts Aurora off, laughing. "We should probably let Daddy get settled in before we ambush him."
"It's okay, Clarke. I want them to show me everything."
"Let's go!" Aurora shouts, tugging at my arm. Augustus takes off running, Madi at his heels, but Aurora looks up with me and asks, "Daddy? Will you carry me?"
"Of course, sweetie," I answer. How could I say no to those big brown doe eyes? They're identical to Octavia's, and I could never say no to her either. Giving Aurora a piggyback ride through the forest reminds me of all the times I gave Octavia piggybacks around our room on the Ark. There, we pretended to go through the forest, but here we have the real thing.
We make it back to the clearing just after Madi and Augustus do. They each take turns showing me their beds, their hammocks, their toys. Aurora takes pride in showing me her drawings, which are about as good as you can expect from a four-year-old. She clearly takes after her mother. Until I saw her cell in the Sky Box, I'd never gotten to see her drawings. Now, Augustus is shoving them in my face.
I take the pieces of paper in my hands, falling silent. She drew every one of the 100. She drew Raven, Luna, Emori, and Echo. Her mom, Kane, and Jaha made appearances, too. She drew Lexa, and my heart aches for Clarke's loss all over again. I know she loved her, and I know the pain that must have gone into this portrait. She did an incredible job of capturing a softer side of Lexa, one which I'm sure only Clarke got to witness.
Finally, Augustus hands me her portraits of me before he runs outside to find his sisters. I sit in a stunned silence, struggling to take them all in. She drew me outside of the dropship, talking to the 100. She drew me with her in her arms after she returned from Mount Weather. She drew me sleeping on a couch, which I assume is a memory of hers from the time she made the list of 100 of our people who would survive Praimfaya. She drew me driving the rover, smiling. The last portrait, however, is my favorite. She drew me in Becca's lab after we slept together. It's clear that I'm looking at her in this portrait just judging by the softness of my gaze. It hits me then that maybe she loved me all along, too. Maybe she realized it later than I did, but it's apparent in the way that she drew me in such detail. She loves me.
The intensity of the day hits me all at once.
I'm home. I have children. They're alive, healthy, happy, and safe. And Clarke is alive.
Clarke Griffin is alive, and she loves me.