My Love, My Drug, My Release

By Xpen7777

99K 3.7K 1K

14-year-old Lorraine's life spun out of control when her step-mother and legal guardian, Linda Eastman, marri... More

Introduction/Warnings
Cast
Chapter 1: Sing to Me
Chapter 2: On My Knees
Chapter 3: Four Chords
May 19th, 1967
Announcement
Chapter 4: A Cheery Welcome
Chapter 5: Dance With Me
September, 1968
September 1968- A Week Later
Chapter 6: Never Have I Ever
Early October, 1968
Chapter 7: Anti-Me
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 8: High
Wednesday, October, 1968
Chapter 9: Before the Dreaming
Chapter 10: The Package
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 11: Gallagher
November, 1968
Chapter 12: Detention
Chapter 13: Solo
Late November, 1968
Chapter 14: Dangerous Men
Chapter 15: Too Good to be True
Paul's Perspective
Christmas Eve, 1968
Chapter 16: The Diner
Chapter 17: Pat Down
Chapter 18: The Fool
Christmas, 1968
Chapter 19: Girlfriends
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 20: Desperation
Boxing Day Morning, 1968
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 21: Biting Down
Boxing Day Evening, 1968
Chapter 22: A Lover and a Mother
Chapter 23: Jailbait
New Year's Eve, 1968
Chapter 24: You Are Mine
Chapter 25: Children
Paul's Perspective
Early January, 1969
Chapter 26: Hidden
Early January, 1969- Later That Day
Chapter 27: Three Gifts
Chapter 28: Terrible, Beautiful, Wonderful
Chapter 29: Satan's Mirror
Paul's Perspective
Announcement
Mid-January, 1969
Chapter 30: Mum
Chapter 31: Family Friends
Chapter 32: A Day of Firsts
Paul's Perspective
Late January, 1969
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 33: Forbidden Fruit
January 26th, 1969
Chapter 34: More Than Friends
Chapter 35: Stay
Paul's Perspective
January 30th, 1969
Chapter 36: Waking Up
Chapter 37: Invisible
Early February, 1969
Chapter 38: Rabid Animals
Mid-February, 1969
Chapter 40: The Plunge
Valentine's Day, 1969
Chapter 41: Family Portrait
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 42: Betrayal
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 43: Cammie, Unfiltered
Late February, 1969
Chapter 44: What Do I Want?
Chapter 45: Pain Killer
Early March 1969
Chapter 46: That's Not Love
Chapter 47: Boundaries
Early March, 1969- Later That Day
Chapter 48: Late Night Calls
Paul's Perspective
March 12, 1969
Chapter 49: Love and Friendship
Paul's Perspective
March 20th, 1969
Chapter 50: The New Worst Day
Early-April, 1969
Chapter 51: The Secret's Out
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 52: Junkie
Late April, 1969
Chapter 53: Break a Leg!
Chapter 54: Jackson
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 55: The Truth
Early May, 1969
Chapter 56: It's Just Me
Chapter 57: Reunion
Chapter 58: There's Still a Debt to Pay
Chapter 59: Constriction
Paul's Perspective
August 28th, 1969
Chapter 60: Extention, Extortion
Chapter 61: Sober
Chapter 62: Brandon
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 63: A Little Girl No More
Chapter 64: The Come-Down
Chapter 65: Secrets
Chapter 66: Loneliness
Chapter 67: I'm a Bad Person
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 68: Grown-Ups
Chapter 69: Some Guy
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 70: Fly Away
Paul's Perspective
Epilogue

Chapter 39: Meeting the Micks

762 31 31
By Xpen7777


One of the best things about Gally was that he kept his mouth shut, so the rumors about us stayed limited speculation surrounding our one public kiss. Weeks passed and I went out with him multiple time, never letting on I was also seeing Thema, and Thelma pretended she didn't know about Gally and me when we were together, the situation almost blissful- at least on my end. 

Whenever my boyfriend came to talk to me or hold my hand, my girlfriend would mysteriously disappear, and she shrank into the shadows when Rosemary or the other cheerleaders asked for the dirty details about my relationship. At first, seeing the way I hurt her made my chest ache, but, after time, I developed blinders, only seeing her smiles, winks, lip-bites. Internally, I convinced myself I made her happy, pleased her, and that was enough.

"Tomorrow's the last day of May," Thelma said wistfully as we passed by a flower cart, running her fingers over the bouquets, before pausing, her hand hovering over one in particular. "Holy cow, that means it's also Mother's Day tomorrow!"

I paused, staring at a cluster of roses with a pink sign stuck in the middle reading 'Love You Mom' and my stomach rolled over. "I can't believe I forgot."

"It's not too late to get something."

"No, not that, I never get Linda anything." It sounded cruel when I said it like that, but I knew she didn't mind, not wanting to encroach on our real mother's territory. "If tomorrow's the 31st, that means next week is my brother's birthday."

"How old will he be?"

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I whispered, "Eighteen."

"All grown up."

I couldn't bring myself to respond, walking past the flower cart instead. Thelma followed close behind, slowing down to match my pace, which was little more than a crawl. I was a balloon, the air hissing out of me as I deflated. I needed to get home. I hailed a cab, and Thelma followed without questioning. My brother had been gone for over a year, soon he'd be spending his second birthday in a row away from me, away from home. But was this really home? I tried to escape once, and I'd do it again, if only I had the chance, the motivation.

"Are you feeling okay, Lo?" my girlfriend asked when we got back to my house- Paul's house. "You seem... off-balance."

A shockingly on-the-mark assessment. "I just miss him is all- Jack."

She nodded, not sure of what to do with herself, swaying back and forth, her black peasant skirt a shadowy circle around her. Finally, she reached out, her arms beckoning me, but I shrugged her off. I didn't want emotional connection or warmth, didn't want her compassion and tenderness and love; I wanted someone who doesn't care about my feelings or history, someone I could nuzzle up to for hours, then shake the day away like an Etch-A-Sketch.

As though the heavens heard my prayer, the phone rang, and I walked away from Thelma without ceremony. "Hello," I said, voice heavy.

"Lola? Why do you sound so sad?"

"Anita?" My face lit up; her voice was like a shot in the arm. 

"Of course, do you know any other Italian women?" she said with a laugh. "Are you parents there?"

"No, why do you want to talk to them?"

"Hell no! We're coming to get you."

Thelma chose that moment to pop into the kitchen, hugging herself tightly. "Um, Anita, I have a friend over right now." My girlfriend smiled at me, her blue eyes shimmering happily. "Can she come too?"

"Of course, see you soon!"

"What the hell?" I nearly dropped the phone while I hung it up. "I thought we were going to hang out together."

"We are, but we're going to do it at Keith and Anita's."

"Who the hell are they?"





Thelma shut up real quick when she saw Keith Richards in the car, but she still didn't look happy. I never promised we'd spend the afternoon just with each other, but she was already sharing my time with an unwitting Gally, and I didn't blame her for wanting some privacy. But I hadn't seen them in weeks, since Paul barged in and took me home, and I had a particular craving to satisfy.

"You drink, Thelma?" Keith asked, pouring himself some whiskey back at their flat.

"Uh, not really."

"Of course she does," I said quickly, nudging her before whispering, "What's wrong with you?"

"I just don't feel like getting drunk."

Keith brought her a drink anyway, sitting next to Anita who'd lit up a cigarette. "Where have you been? We missed you."

"Paul's been on my case a ton." That wasn't entirely true; he'd mostly backed off since I found him drunk, the morning after he came onto Thelma and then smashed all his guitars and records. When I was in the house, he conveniently wasn't, and that goes double for the days I brought one of my significant others over. "Also exams are coming up."

"Exams," Anita sighed, as though she were orgasming to the word, making Thelma visibly recoil. "I always forget you're so young."

The door unlocking and then opening interrupted our conversation, and in walked the Micks- Jagger and Taylor- giggling and laughing, eyes red-rimmed from smoking pot. "Keith, do you have-" The darker-haired man (Mick fucking Jagger!) paused, looking between us. "Who are these?"

"Lorraine Foxwell, I told you about her," Keith said with a wink. "Linda McCartney's daughter."

"Step-daughter," I said, holding out my hand. "Nice to meet you."

He smirked down at me, chewing his full lower lip mischievously. "Oh yeah, these two buggers told me all about you."

His gaze was so intense I thought I might faint, and I wished I could stop acting like such a stupid girl for one fucking minute. I'd seen plenty of photos of him, but I didn't realize he was so gorgeous, something lithe and almost feminine to him. 

"I'm Thelma Dearest." Her words snapped me out of my daze, and I moved out of the way so they could shake hands.

"Charmed." He set his shoulder bag on the coffee table, pulling out a bag of white powder.

"Jesus Christ, Mick!" Keith said. "Not in front of the kids."

Mick laughed out loud, and it was like a chiming bell or a chirping song bird. "I think this one is hardly a child anymore," he said, tucking my chin in a pseudo-motherly gesture. "Anymore." Much to Keith's visible ire, he plopped down next to me, cramping the couch so much that Thelma moved to the floor, folding his legs effeminately. "Don't mind Richards, he doesn't like when I play with his things." He snapped his fingers at Anita suddenly, then pointed at the drugs on the table. "Fix me up, will you?" Then back to me. "You take heroin, Lola?"

The way he said my nickname- Keith's nickname for me- made my mind go fuzzy, but Thelma came to my rescue. "Of course not, we're students, not junkies."

Both Micks cackled, Anita joining in after a moment, her lips going so thin I could see her gums above her yellowing teeth. "Well excuse me, Madam, didn't mean to offend you, we're just simple commoners after all," Jagger said, laying on a thick cockney accent.

"Whatever," she said, standing up in a huff. "We're leaving anyway. Come on, Lo." She headed to the door, but I didn't follow. "I said, let's go."

"You said, 'Come on' actually," Mick Taylor chimed in, rubbing his face.

She shot the guitarist a dirty look before turning to me pleadingly. I held her gaze for a moment, Mick's arm tightening around my shoulder like a boa constrictor. "Go on, it's okay. I'll- I'll see you at school."

"Yeah, she'll see you at school," Mick said, running his tongue along his lower lip. Thelma huffed, flinging the door open. "Bye Miss Dearest," he drawled before the door slammed shut.

"What a bitch," Anita said as soon as she was gone. "Why are you dating her?"

My mouth fell open. "What? No. We're just friends."

"Yeah, so are we," Keith said flatly, gesturing to his girlfriend who'd just gotten up to retrieve some supplies from the kitchen. He seemed displeased at the current situation, and it didn't have anything to do with Mick and me, I didn't think. We weren't an item; I was mainly a sex doll for him and Anita to share. If I had to guess, I'd say he didn't like the way we handled Thelma, didn't appreciate how Mick treated her. He'd said he cared about my well-being, and I believed him; scaring off my friend would cause me problems later, and we both knew it.

"Let's not talk about her," Jagger said, flicking his wrist and the thread of conversation was gone, forgotten. "Let's talk about you and me." His eyes flooded with desire, but not pure me or my body. He was using me to try and punish Keith for some reason.

I inched away, unsure. "What about you and me?"

He sensed my hesitation, and eased up on the gas, but didn't slam on the brakes. "About me being here when you chase the dragon for the first time."

"No, no, not a chance!" Keith interjected.

"Why not? Who better to try with than such good friends."

"She doesn't even know you, and she's bloody fifteen for fuck's sake!"

"Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you fucked her!" Mick shouted, not able to control the venom in his voice. I'd never seen someone get so angry while stoned. Usually, potheads were all like Taylor, sinking into the sofa, playing with a piece of string and giggling. Jagger twirled a lock of my hair, tugging so hard it stung slightly. "Tell us what you think, Lola."

I stared down at the white power, Anita squeezing a tiny drop of lemon juice into a teaspoon of water before sticking a lighter under it to sterilize the solution, and I remembered Mary Poppin: a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. "I want to try. Just to see what its like."

"That's my girl!" Mick said, grabbing my face and kissing me like he was trying to suck out my soul, not a very pleasant experience, but an intriguing one.

When we pulled apart, Keith looked at me sadly. How come every boy I wanted to fuck tried to be my dad? "Whatever you want, baby girl. Just don't say I didn't warn you."



Sorry for all these long-ass Author's Notes lately, but I've got a couple things to tell y'all! First, thank you for your support in me skipping a few weeks in the timeline of this story, it meant a lot. Second, I finished my other Paul fic (finally, haha) and so, in the near future, I'll be adding another book to my lineup. Hope you like this chapter and the next one, cause it will be a Rolling Stones fanfic, which you guys requested! At some point, I'm probably going to do another Beatles story, but I want to try new things, and I'm obsessed with the Stones right now!

Continue Reading

You'll Also Like

25.4K 901 21
In 1984, Paul is questioning his marriage with Kathleen whom he has been married for just less than a year. He plans to leave her soon but all his pl...
68.8K 2.6K 27
Professor McCartney. A young girl, one he somehow cannot seem to stay away from. A wife at home. A classroom that holds secrets that are too dangerou...
54.7K 1.4K 41
Charli (Charlotte) McLeod and Paul McCartney grew up together and were each others first love. After Charli's extremely strict religious parents tea...
15.3K 523 22
The one where Paul engages in a not so usual relationship with a mother-daughter duo. Best rankings because everyone does it so- 1 in #thebeatlessmut...