The niggling feeling hadn't gone away by the next morning and you spent all day trying to remember what it was that you'd forgotten. It was only after Lara had come up to you to ask if you were engaged and pregnant that you remembered.
"I'm engaged, but not pregnant". I think...
"Well congratulations! Where's the ring? How did he ask?"
"I'm, uh, saving it for a photo announcement. Would hate for the paparazzi to get a photo of it first. And uh, when we were in LA for the premiere". You were struggling to be polite, itching to check your diary, to reassure yourself that you'd had your normal cycle recently...
"Oh...well, I can't wait to see it!". Lara went back to her desk and you hurriedly pulled your diary out of your handbag, flipping through the pages to find when you'd last had your period. You were way more than your normal 28 days before you found anything...almost two months back...
"Shit" you sighed under your breath, pinching the bridge of your nose.
I can't be pregnant! I've got the rod...
You grabbed your phone and texted Dot.
Y: EMERGENCY. CALL ASAP
It took Dot 15 minutes to ring, and they were the longest 15 minutes of your life.
"What's wrong, what's going on?" Dot's voice was calm. She was always your go-to for any kind of emergency.
You checked that no one was paying attention to you before you spoke. "I need you to get me a pregnancy test" you muttered quietly into the phone.
"OH MY GOD!!! ARE YOU PREGNANT?! I'M GONNA CRY, I'M SO HAPPY!"
"Shut up! And no, I don't know, but I can't remember my last period and the last recorded one I had was over two months ago. And I can't go and get the test because I'm followed everywhere I go"
"Okay. Well, I hope you are cos I am dying to be an Auntie"
"Well I'm not dying to be a Mum, so please, please, please get me a test and be discreet about it"
"Okay, but how am I going to get it to you?"
You paused, trying to think. Dot lived over two hours away and there was no way she'd get here before the end of the work day. Plus you had the dinner tonight with the Holland's.
"Are you free on the weekend?"
"No, I'm going to Edinburgh for the weekend with Matthew"
You groaned. "I really need the test sooner rather than later"
"Well, the earliest I can get it to you would be late on Sunday..."
"Okay, that'll have to do. In the meantime I'll just have to pray that I'm not"
"I'm going to pray for the opposite"
"Great. Thanks. Talk to you soon"
"Haha love you too, bye!"
You resisted the urge to face plant on your desk. Just keep calm, you're just stressed which is affecting your cycle. Stress can do that...right?
You spent the remainder of your working day subtly Googling pregnancy symptoms, how effective the rod was at preventing pregnancy, and whether or not stress can affect your period. The answer was yes, stress could affect your cycle, but also that yes you could still get pregnant on the rod. You didn't put much faith in religion, but you said a silent prayer for you to not be pregnant. You didn't need life to become any more complicated than it already was.
**
"You okay love? You're awfully quiet tonight" Tom murmured to you, his breath warm and ticklish in your ear.
"Oh, fine. Just tired" you replied, patting his arm affectionately.
Truthfully, you were shattered. Your mind was spinning with the notion that you may be pregnant, but you didn't want to let Tom know. Mostly because you were freaking out, but also because you were scared he'd get his hopes up only for them to be dashed if it turned out that you weren't.
There was also something still bothering you about yesterday with Sam, and you spent the better part of the evening trying to remember what it was (when you weren't panicking about potentially becoming a mother). It was only when Sam remembered that he had to give Dom the car keys back that you recalled what was bothering you.
"Hey! How did you get into the apartment last night?" you asked.
Sam froze like a deer in headlights, eyes darting nervously to Tom. "Uh, you left the door unlocked"
"No I didn't. I always lock it behind me. And Tom was at home all day yesterday. So, how did you get in?"
"No, I left it unlocked when I check the post babe" Tom answered, but there was something off in his voice. The other's also seemed off, suddenly becoming very preoccupied with their empty plates. Like they were all in on some secret.
"You didn't check the post yesterday, I did. How did you get in last night Sam?". Sam looked at Tom again and your confusion gave way to annoyance. "What's going on?" you asked, glaring alternately at Sam and Tom, willing one of them to tell you.
Sam caved first. "Um. Harry, Harrison and I all have a key to your apartment" Sam answered sheepishly.
"Why? What would you guys need a key to our apartment for?"
"To...check on you when Tom's away"
"What?!" you exclaimed, whirling to look at Tom. Tom was pinching the bridge of his nose and muttering under his breath.
"It's not what you think -" Tom began but you cut him off.
"I hope not. Because what I think it is, is that you've got them watching me like I'm a small child, incapable of taking care of myself". You knew that in the grand scheme of things this wasn't a big deal, and that right now was not the time or place to be having this discussion. You wouldn't have minded them having a key, but you had not been included in the decision being made, and you couldn't help feeling like your privacy had been stolen from you without you even knowing.
"Boys, clear the table. Dom, I need your help with something" Nikki said, quickly ushering the remaining Holland's out of the room, leaving you and Tom alone at the dining table.
Tom shifted uncomfortably. "It's not that. It's just...I worry about you when I'm not around, so I gave them each a key so that if they were free they could come and see how you were"
"Okay. Why would you not tell me they have a key? Why would you not include me in this decision?"
"Because I didn't want you to think I was being overprotective -"
"Which you are -"
"Can you blame me?!" Tom shouted. He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. It took him a moment before he spoke again. "Do you know how difficult it has been for me to live with the knowledge of what he did to you? To know that I wasn't there and I couldn't do anything? I'm actually relieved that I did give them a key. He could still be stalking you now, Y/N, did you think of that?"
"But why did you do it and not tell me?" you asked, fighting to keep your voice calm when all you felt like doing was bursting into tears and running away. God damn your dramatic, hormonal bitch ass.
"Because I love you and I will do everything in my power to protect you, even when I'm not around!"
"You should've talked to me first! I shouldn't have to find out like this! Clearly everyone else but me knows". Your throat was thick, and you struggled to swallow the growing lump. Why am I so emotional tonight? Is this a side effect of pregnancy? Or are my hormones just out of whack because of all of this stress? You really wished Dot had been able to get you the test this afternoon. "Imagine how you would feel if I had people checking up on you. Imagine how you would feel if Zendaya, or Jacob, or Tuwaine only messaged or rang you cos I asked them to. It feels like shit to find out that the twins and Harrison have only been coming over to watch over me, on your orders. Makes me feel like they're not coming over cos they like me".
"Love, you know that's not true"
"Well now I don't know, do I!". You angrily wiped a tear away and rested your head in your arms, leaning against the table, sulking like a child.
"Do you want them to give their keys back?" Tom asked quietly, rubbing your shoulders.
"No" you mumbled petulantly.
"What's up? Something else is bothering you". Tom rested his head on the table like you, watching you as you sulked.
"I don't wanna talk about it"
"Too bad"
"You're a stubborn pain in the ass, you know that?"
"I've got nothing on you" he teased. You stuck your tongue out at him and he poked your side. You jerked upright, scowling at him. "Come on, what's up? You think I haven't noticed you acting weird since you got home from work? Is it something someone said about the engagement?". You shook your head. "Okay...is it something to do with work? Lara being a bitch?". Again, you shook your head. "Okay, I give up. What is it?"
"Nothing. Just...the crap with Mum and Lou"
Tom studied you. "I call bullshit. There's something you're not telling me"
You sighed. He could read you as if your thoughts were projected on your forehead. "Can I tell you when we're home?"
"Fine. Your glass of wine is getting warm by the way".
You stared at the still full glass. You wanted to drink it, it would help take the edge off. But you weren't supposed to consume alcohol if you were pregnant...
"I'm not feeling great. Don't want to have any" you muttered, running your index finger along the edge of the table.
Tom frowned at you. "Not feeling great? In what way?"
"I just feel...off"
Tom continued to frown at you. You avoided looking at him, hoping he wouldn't figure it out. You weren't that lucky.
"OH MY GOD -"
You clamped a hand over his mouth, your face inches from his. "Shut up! I don't know for sure. Don't say anything. Especially not now" you hissed urgently, hoping his family hadn't heard him. His eyes were wide and you could feel him smiling underneath your palm. "I'm going to take my hand away and you're going to say nothing. Okay?"
He nodded and you slowly removed your hand. He was grinning like the Cheshire cat and he pulled you into his arms, peppering you with kisses. "This is the best news ever!" he whispered into your ear. You couldn't deny that you were smiling a little, his excitement rubbing off on you a little. Maybe being pregnant wouldn't be the worst thing...
"Don't get too excited! I may not be!" you whispered back.
"Okay, hope's aren't up. When can we find out?"
"Sunday. Dot's getting me a test, cos I sure as hell can't do it and neither can you or the others"
"I've gotta wait till Sunday?!" he whined.
"Yes. Now, shut up and call your family back. And remember, I may not be so don't get your hopes up. AND, this is a secret Tom. A secret!" you whispered emphatically.
"Yes Boss" he teased, giving you a quick kiss before leaving to get his family, an undeniable skip in his step.
You shook your head watching him walk away. "Heaven help me" you muttered.