Cheryl slowly stirred from her slumber, shifting against the warm body behind her. Her glasses were laid out on the blanket beside her, seemingly plucked from her face and placed aside so they didn't break. She didn't remember taking them off last night. She remembered everything else, though. Drinking and having fun with Toni before she broke down and cried to her, begging her not to go out and drive. As embarrassed as she was about her little tantrum, she knew she made the right choice. Toni was safe here, peacefully sleeping behind her.
She put her glasses on and sat up carefully, looking around. The hands on the grandfather clock against the wall told her it was nearly 3AM, dimly lit by the fading fire and the lights on the Christmas tree. If she remembered correctly, she fell asleep around 9:30 last night. She remembered how the bourbon made her feel like she was wrapped in a warm, fuzzy blanket. But as good as it made her feel, she felt bad for falling asleep before she could ring in the new year with her girlfriend.
Feeling a bit of a chill, she got up slowly, tucking the blanket higher up on Toni's shoulders to keep her warm before going to add some wood to the fire, livening up the flame. She let the warmth take her over, rubbing her bare arms as she turned to lay back down with Toni on the floor. The colorfully decorated paper from the brunette's gift caught her eye from its place near Toni's covered feet, beside the cassette case. Curiously, she picked up the plastic box, smiling as she glanced over the track listing again.
'10 Things' had her attention once again. Toni had been so vague in telling her to listen to it later. When would the appropriate time be? She tore her eyes from the tape and glanced over at the sleeping girl. She didn't want Toni to be mad for listening to it too early, but the suspense was killing her. Tip-toeing across the living room and into the foyer, she quietly unzipped her purple backpack, fishing her walkman out from the middle pocket and taking it back with her to the dimly lit living room.
She sat down beside Toni, careful not to wake her, and put the tape into her walkman, closing it slowly to avoid making too much noise. Taking a deep breath, Cheryl put her headphones over her ears and tried to prepare herself for whatever she was going to hear. She wasn't sure what to expect. It couldn't be anything bad, right? Especially not after a whole tape's worth of romantic songs.
After pressing play, the soft intro to "Wonderwall" played in her ears, bringing her an odd sense of comfort. She remembered it playing in the car during their first date. One of the greatest nights of her life. Pressing down on the fast-forward button, she could feel the device vibrate in her hands as it sped through the tape inside, coming to a stop when she pressed play again. It took a few tries until she finally got to the last song from the track listing, listening to it from middle to end so she didn't skip ahead too far. Her heart sped up in her chest as "Dreaming of You" came to an end, looking briefly back at Toni to make sure she was still asleep.
"Hey, babe. I know this is super cheesy," Toni's soothing voice relaxed her while somehow making her tense up at the same time, "I didn't really have the money to get you anything really fancy, and I didn't wanna get you just anything. So hopefully you liked the tape." Cheryl smiled to herself and pulled her knees up to her chest as she listened on, hearing the sound of paper rustling as Toni gently cleared her throat. "So, that list you made a few months ago, I still have it. It means a lot to me that you would take the time to write a whole list of things you like about me, even though I still feel like I don't deserve such nice things said about me. But...you deserve nice things said about you too. So I have a list of my ten favorite things about you."
Warmth spread through Cheryl's body as Toni spoke in her ears through the scratchy recording, biting her lip hard as she started to speak again. "One. You've always been so nice to everyone, including me. Even when I didn't deserve it. Two. You're so fucking cute, I can't believe it sometimes. With your glasses and your smile, just ugh." Cheryl stifled her giggling as a blush rose to her cheeks, as if Toni were saying this to her in person. "Three. Speaking of that adorable smile, every time I see it, it puts a smile on my face too. You always make me so happy, Cher."
"Four. You're such a talented artist. The drawing on the back of your list about me, the one that you claim is just a sketch, is amazing. You have a serious gift and you should pursue it." The redhead bit her lip a little harder, feeling like her heart was going to pound out of her chest. "Five. You're so selfless and caring. Like when you ditched last period to come take care of me when I was sick, and gave me your sweatshirt when I was cold. I'm wearing that sweatshirt right now, actually."
Cheryl rested her head on her arms. She felt like her body was filling up from her toes to her head with warm water, making her feel unstable and dizzy. "Six. You take the time to actually get up early on Monday mornings to meet me in the dark room. I was serious when I said that was our thing. That's our place. Even if we have to deal with Clemmons interrupting us every time."
"Seven is probably way creepy sounding, but I love kissing you. Like, holy shit, I dunno what it is, but when your lips are on mine, I just...I can't even explain it," Cheryl pursed her lips together tightly as her chest tightened. "Anyway. Number eight is how brave you are. You've got so much at stake and you're always willing to risk it just to be with me. I know my friends suck and your parents are shitty, no offense, but I love that you're willing to go against everyone for me. I mean hell, you walked from Pop's to Sunnyside just to bring me soup. Don't do that again, though."
"Nine...You're so forgiving, Cher. I've been nothing short of awful to you since the seventh grade, and yet somehow you found it in your heart to forgive me for it all. And I still can't even begin to explain how sorry I am for every terrible, rotten thing I've ever said or done to you. I don't deserve for you to forgive me for any of it, but I'm so glad that you did." Cheryl smiled contently as Toni took a deep breath, sighing deeply.
"And ten...I just...I love you, Cheryl," her heart stopped as she picked up her head, "I do, I love you more than I ever thought possible. I wanna be around you all the time, and I'm just bored and miserable when I'm not. You're so beautiful, and sweet, and incredible. I'm so in love with you, Cheryl Blossom. I don't know what I did right to get to call you mine, but I feel like the luckiest girl in the world that I get to be called yours."
Cheryl felt her heart beating rapidly in her chest as her trembling fingers found the rewind button, hearing the brief squeaky sound in her ears before she pressed play again. "I'm so in love with you, Cheryl Blossom," she played it again and again.
"Merry Christmas, baby. I love you so much." she let it play out to the rest of the tape this time, leaving her too stunned to move. The tape stopped in the cassette player as she felt Toni stir behind her. She'd probably woken her with her incessant clicking of the rewind and play buttons. Part of her was terrified. What if Toni hadn't wanted her to listen to it yet? And if she was okay with her listening to it now, what was she supposed to say? Toni had recorded her a long, heartfelt message, it felt like nothing she said would ever be good enough in comparison.
The redhead sat uncomfortably still, feeling a kiss drop to her trembling shoulder. "Hey, when'd you wake up?" Toni whispered over the sound of the crackling fire.
"Not too long ago," Cheryl mumbled, looking down at her walkman and removing the padded headphones from her ears.
"Did you listen to it?" Toni rested her chin against her pale shoulder.
She nodded her head , slowly tucking hair behind her ear with shaky fingers. She turned to face her, opening her mouth to apologize for potentially listening to it too early. But one look at Toni made all her nerves melt away. The warm, chocolatey eyes that looked back at her were filled with so much love and adoration, all for her. Toni always managed to make her head spin with just a look. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to find the words to say, but she gave up quickly, crashing her lips to Toni's instead. She ran the pads of her thumbs along the brunette's jaw, the rest of her fingers playing along her hairline under her ears and keeping her close.
"I love you, TT," she whimpered, practically crying against her girlfriends lips as she was pulled into her lap, "I love you so much. I love you." She couldn't say it enough as she sobbed with relief, feeling yet another heavy weight lift itself off her shoulders. Toni's arms wrapped tightly around her middle as Cheryl wrapped her legs around hers, wanting her closer. She couldn't get close enough. She could still taste a hint of bourbon on Toni's tongue as it dragged against her own, sending a shiver of want down her spine.
Toni pulled back slowly as Cheryl chased her and tried to keep their heated kiss going with a needy whimper. "Do you really?" she whispered, panting with her forehead pressed gently to hers.
The redhead nodded eagerly, reminiscent of when Toni asked her to be her girlfriend a few months ago. "I do, Toni, I really do," she pulled back to look into her eyes, her own fogging with tears of joy before Toni kissed her again, lowering her down against the mass of pillows and blankets below them. The older girl hovered over her, her lips moving fervently against her own as Cheryl's wobbly fingers reached under her t-shirt, desperate to just feel her skin to confirm that she was real. She didn't feel numb like in the dream she had a few weeks ago. She felt whole and alive, to a point that just feeling Toni's warm skin under her fingers overloaded her senses.
She felt around the soft skin of her abdomen, back, and sides, warming her fingers against her. Toni's muscles trembled under her touch, making Cheryl feel rather smug from her submissive position. The fact that she had the power to make Toni tremble made her feel so much less nervous, because she knew now that the brunette had her own apprehensions. She boldly reached for the hem of Toni's old Nirvana t-shirt, lifting it slowly as she wordlessly asked for her permission to remove it. Cheryl wanted to see her, she wanted to feel her. Toni pulled back from the heated kiss between them, sitting up in a straddle across the redheads hips before crossing her arms over her body and lifting the black t-shirt above her head.
Cheryl could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as her eyes traveled across the flawless form above her. She'd never (intentionally) laid eyes on breasts that weren't her own, aside from the two dimensional diagrams in the sex education book, and she couldn't look away. She knew she was staring, and she was so entranced that she couldn't even bring herself to care. But next thing she knew, she was being gently pulled up into a sitting position, her quivering hands in Toni's gentle ones as the brunette brought them to her chest, guiding her like she needed.
"This okay?" Toni panted quietly, her chest rising and falling against Cheryl's hands with each breath she took.
"Mmhm," she nodded, feeling like a deer learning to walk as her thumbs gently grazed against the erect buds that topped her girlfriend's full, ample breasts. She felt her shiver against her touch and she found herself getting bold again as the infamous knot in her gut returned. She toyed with Toni's nipples carefully, biting her lip as she arched into her touch. She seemed to be doing something right, despite not having a clue what she was doing. But she kept her fingers moving as Toni's lips landed on hers again.
Toni cupped her cheeks softly in contrast to their hard, rushed kisses, her hands trailing down to the red tank top that covered Cheryl's pale skin. "Can I take this off?" the brunette whispered against her lips, kissing her again before she could get an answer. But Cheryl's weak nod was all she needed before she started to lift the red cotton up her torso and over her head, careful for her glasses. She tossed the material aside as Cheryl crashed her lips right back to hers, the redhead mewling quietly at the feeling of Toni's hands on her. She wasn't as developed as Toni was, and she would have been more self conscious if the feeling of skin on skin weren't so damn comforting. Toni's fingers roamed along her bare skin, keeping her chest pressed against hers. Cheryl thought that she would combust right there from the overwhelming feeling.
"You're perfect, you know that?" Toni whispered into her skin as she kissed a line down her jaw and neck, bringing a hand between them to pluck gently at the sensitive skin of Cheryl's nipples.
"You are too," she gasped distractedly, involuntarily leaning into her touch and whimpering for more.
Toni just smirked against her neck, easing her back to lay down again as her lips made a hot, aimless trail around her ivory skin. She left soft pecks along the line of her collarbone, kissing her clavicle before dragging her lips farther down. She could feel the thump of Cheryl's pounding heart under the touch of her lips as she left slow, teasing kisses along the curve of her breast, nipping playfully at the pale pink bud at its peak.
"Toni," Cheryl gasped again, arching into her as her fingers came up to tangle in her hair, holding her close and steady. "P-please," she nearly sobbed, unsure of what she was even asking for. Toni seemed to know her way around her body already, like she'd explored her a million times. She'd probably done this with a ton of other girls, but Cheryl brushed that thought aside as best she could, not wanting to think about Toni making anyone else feel as loved and worshipped as she felt now.
The brunette smirked against her skin, sucking gently on one nipple while her fingers worked skillfully on the other. She held a power that made Cheryl shiver with excitement while she simultaneously trembled with fear. The redhead had never known such a mix of emotions until she'd met Toni. It had been five years of these jumbled up feelings, but she knew now that she would rather be confused with Toni than have clarity without her.
After laving her tongue against the subtle indentations from the bites in her skin, Toni leaned back up to connect their lips again, her fingers playing at the waistband of Cheryl's plaid pajama pants. She pulled back, looking into her dark brown eyes for any sign of protest.
Cheryl flicked her tongue out over her lips as she panted, struggling to control her breathing as she locked eyes with her girlfriend. Toni's fiery gaze intensified the tightening knot in her stomach and she knew she was ready for her to be the one to undo it. With a nod of encouragement, she watched as the firelight flickered in the older girl's gentle eyes and reflected off the golden 'C' against her chest. "Show me...please," she whispered, her chest rising and falling with each sharp breath she took.
Toni nodded back, running her tongue against her lips before leaning down to kiss her again. Cheryl wrapped her arms around her neck, wanting to feel her lips on hers for the rest of her life. And for now, it served as a nice distraction from the fact that Toni was easing her comfortable pants down her legs to be discarded with her shirt. She barely had time to react before Toni had her own pajama pants off, revealing the lacy black panties she had underneath, strikingly different from her own plain white cotton briefs.
"Are you sure about this?" Toni pulled back again, her heavy breaths warm against her face.
"I'm sure," the redhead nodded as she looked up at her with longing in her eyes, lifting a finger to graze gently over Toni's plump lower lip, "I love you, TT." She wondered if the thrill of saying those words to her would ever go away, not that she wanted it to.
Toni just gave her a bit of a smirk and leaned down to kiss her again. "I love you too, Cher," she whispered, "Do you trust me?"
Cheryl nodded against her lips with a needy whimper. She trusted her with her life. Months ago, she would hesitate in answering, focusing too much on the past. The Toni she knew years ago wasn't the same Toni she knew now. Despite what happened between them in previous years, the brunette had proven to Cheryl that she was serious and trustworthy.
Toni weaved their fingers together, warmth passing between them as she kept her chest flush against Cheryl's. The redhead shivered at the contact that was so new to her, humming into the kiss that was making her head spin with arousal. With her free hand, Toni dragged her fingertips lightly down Cheryl's torso, her neatly trimmed fingernails leaving subtle red lines on her pale skin as she inched closer to the waistband of the redhead's last remaining article of clothing. She distracted her with heated kisses as she traced side to side over the elastic, sliding her fingers against the fabric. Her fingers reached the apex of Cheryl's thighs, cupping her over the fabric with the heel of her palm pressing firmly against her clit.
Cheryl gasped, holding tighter to Toni's hand while her other held her cheek gently, keeping her close and her lips on hers. She recognized the feeling, as she'd touched herself a few times. But it was entirely different when it was someone else touching you. She controlled her own movements, but when it was someone else, every touch came as a pleasant surprise. "Toni..." she panted when the older girl pulled back from her lips, kissing around the hot skin of her neck. She could feel her lips curl up into a smirk against her skin and it only aroused her more.
Toni sucked lightly on her pulse point as she slowly dipped her fingers under the damp cotton. Cheryl bucked and shuddered when her fingers met with her clit, whining out into the quiet room. She turned her head and caught Toni's lips again, already missing the feeling of her lips on hers. She felt like her whole body was on fire, a thin layer of sweat already forming on her bare skin as Toni's middle finger trailed up and down her slit. Her heart picked up speed, pounding in her ears and against her chest when the brunette teased the tip of her middle finger against her entrance. Cheryl was so nervous, but it felt too good to stop. She wanted Toni. She trusted her.
"Oh-" she gasped against her lips at the feeling of Toni's slim finger slowly gliding into her with ease. She'd never done that to herself before, so the feeling was entirely new.
"You okay?" she pulled back, biting her swollen lip as she looked at Cheryl's, her pink lips parted as her jaw slacked.
The redhead opened her hazy brown eyes, looking up at her through the lenses of her glasses. A chill ran down her spine at the look of concern on her girlfriend's face. "Yeah," she exhaled, swallowing hard. Toni held her gaze as she eased her finger deeper into her heat, starting to slide it in and out as she stared into her eyes intensely. Cheryl couldn't look away. She was locked in, unable to do anything but bite her lip hard as she was overwhelmed with pleasure. Toni's lips were on hers again as the brunette surprised her, adding a second finger to her diligent work, curling them into her so expertly as Cheryl held her face in her hands. She'd never felt anything like this.
Her hips arched up to meet her touch, starting to move in rhythm with Toni's gentle strokes. As much as she wanted that release that was so new to her, she never wanted this feeling to end. She whimpered when Toni removed her fingers, opening her eyes just in time to see her sucking those same fingers between her lips with that familiar smirk that she knew so well. Cheryl watched curiously, her mind too clouded with arousal to even question what she was doing.
"Fuck, Cher," the former Vixen panted, ducking down to kiss her again harshly. Cheryl could taste the foreign flavor of herself on Toni's tongue. It was strange, but Toni seemed to enjoy it. Their tongues glided together as Cheryl held her close. But Toni pulled back with a gentle peck to her lips, smirking as she started to kiss a slow, hot trail straight down her body. She kissed from her lips to her neck, down through the valley between her breasts and slid her tongue into the dip of her belly button.
Cheryl's heart was beating rapidly as she struggled to keep her breathing even. She wasn't sure what to expect, but she could only imagine what Toni was planning. She was always full of surprises. Her eyes closed, embarrassed as she felt Toni's fingers hook into the sides of her underwear, slowly tugging them down. Before she knew it, she was completely bare in front of her, her knees locking together self-consciously as her face turned a dark shade of pink. She could feel Toni's fingers trailing up the side of her calf, sending a shiver down her spine as her body broke out in goose bumps. With her eyes closed, every touch seemed ten times more electric.
"Hey," she suddenly felt Toni's warm lips on her chin, kissing their way up to her own slack and swollen lips. Cheryl blinked her eyes open slowly, meeting Toni's soft gaze after she pulled back from the kiss. "You trust me, right?" she whispered before Cheryl nodded and reached up to kiss her again, holding her face in her trembling hands. She hoped that Toni wasn't asking multiple times because she doubted her answer. "I wanna hear you say it, baby."
"I-I trust you," she mumbled against her slow-moving lips, nodding just as slow.
Toni nodded and pulled back from the kiss, coaxing Cheryl's pale legs apart so she could place herself between them as she left a crooked line of fiery kisses down her body once again. The farther she descended, the more Cheryl found herself struggling to keep her breathing even. She could feel the heated skin of Toni's torso against her bare, aching center with every move she made. And it seemed like an eternity before she felt hot breath blow over her slit with every exhale the older girl took. Staring up at the ceiling, she lay stiff as a board, her body practically vibrating as she felt her legs being bent up and her feet firmly planted on the floor. If Toni was saying anything to her, she couldn't hear it. Her ears felt like they were filled with water, like she was at the bottom of the pool again, letting herself float to the surface for that weightless feeling her nana had described to her when she was a child.
"Cher," she felt a hand grab onto hers.
"Yeah?" she breathed, boldly sitting up on her elbow to look down at her girlfriend.
"Tell me if you want me to slow down or stop, okay?" Toni's dark eyes stared up at her as she squeezed her hand reassuringly, tugging at Cheryl's heartstrings.
"Okay," she nodded, keeping herself elevated enough to watch what Toni was doing, curious. She watched her kiss the soft skin of her inner thighs and wrap an arm gently around one leg before ducking her head further down. Her messy locks of brown hair fell in her face, blocking Cheryl's view. But when the redhead felt Toni's tongue dart out to gently meet her folds, she cried out quietly as she lost her balance on her elbow, sending her to lay back down against the blankets and pillows below her. The feeling was new and completely different, but so, so good. Toni's tongue flattened against her, taking a slow swipe up the line of her center, flicking the tip of her tongue against the underside of her clit. "TT..." she panted heavily, her chest rising and falling with each unstable breath she took. Her long red hair was sticking to her bare back and the back of her neck, but she couldn't be bothered to care. She was far too distracted by the feeling of Toni's lips and tongue on her most sensitive spots. Her hips bucked and writhed as she panted, needy whimpers escaping her lips as Toni squeezed her hand again, holding her hips down.
Toni knew what she was doing. Even if she didn't, Cheryl would have no idea. All she knew was that she felt better now than she'd ever felt in her lifetime. "Ton-" she went to mewl out her name again, but the brunette hummed deeply against her with her lips wrapped around her throbbing clit, making her cry out instead. Cheryl felt like she would never be able to speak a coherent word ever again, her mind was so scrambled. Her nerves were on fire, and she could feel herself inching closer to the edge. The feeling approached faster and faster as Toni worked her over, her tongue flicking against her clit rapidly. Her fingers found their way back to her slick entrance, teasing around her sensitive skin before sliding in again, and Cheryl could feel Toni smirk against her.
"Please," she whined desperately, reaching down to grip firmly onto Toni's hair, practically tugging it from the roots, "I-I can't-ah!" she cried out again as a shock of pleasure shot through her, making her feel like she was mere steps away from falling over the edge of the metaphorical cliff. Toni pulled back slowly, pressing a chaste kiss just over the sensitive bundle of nerves, making Cheryl's hips jerk at the simple touch. Flicking her tongue over her lips, Toni kept her fingers moving, curling inside her as she moved back up, hovering over her lips with a knowing smirk. "I-I don't think..." Cheryl panted, shaking her head, unable to finish her sentence. She'd never felt like this before. Even doing it herself, the feeling was never this strong. The knot in her stomach was bigger and tighter than ever.
"I've got you, baby," Toni whispered, kissing her lips so gently. Cheryl whimpered into the kiss, tasting herself on Toni's tongue again as she cupped her cheeks and ran her thumbs across the soft, warm skin. "Let it go for me, Cher," the brunette curled her fingers up faster, feeling the wetness increase under her touch as Cheryl practically sobbed against her lips.
Her hips writhed and bucked as she got closer and closer, finding comfort in Toni's whispered words. Cheryl pulled away to breathe, ducking her face into the crook of Toni's neck, her whimpers getting even louder as she felt herself letting go, falling over the edge. "Oh my god," she mumbled with a shaking voice. Her body shook with pleasure that continued to course through her veins, and she wasn't sure if that was the cause of her clouded vision or if her glasses had fogged up again.
When her high faded, she kept her face in Toni's neck, letting the older girl hold her close. Toni rubbed her back and sides with her free hand, pulling her fingers slowly from inside her and soothing her trembling girlfriend when she whimpered at the loss.
"You okay?" the brunette whispered, kissing her temple as she ran her fingers against her scalp through her mane of red hair. Cheryl held tightly to her and nodded into her neck, still trying to catch her breath as Toni brought one of the blankets up to cover them. She knew that Cheryl would likely be too tired or nervous to do anything else, but she was patient.
"I-l love you, TT," Cheryl mumbled, unsure of what else to say. Her voice still trembled as her muscles relaxed, pulling back just enough to kiss her slowly, gratefully.
"I love you too, baby. Go to sleep," she smiled a bit against her lips, adjusting their position so the redhead could cuddle up to her for the remainder of the early morning.
The younger girl yawned against her skin, nuzzling into her. "Will you still be here in the morning?" Her eyelids were drooping quickly as she brought a tired hand up to twirl the 'C' against Toni's chest between her fingers.
"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Toni kissed her forehead and tangled their legs together as she held her close, watching as Cheryl fell asleep in her arms, spent and satisfied with the little charm in her limp grasp.