Breathe Me Back To Life •Patr...

By leavenowordsunspoken

954K 36.5K 42.2K

After being attacked at a house party, Cole Wentz has been diagnosed with insomnia, severe anxiety, and is sh... More

Prologue: Maybe Just Maybe
Chapter One: Shoulda, Woulda, Couldn't
Chapter Two: Funny How It Rained All Day
Chapter Three: Just A Sliver Of Who I Was
Chapter Four: It's Not 'Speak Or Forever Hold Your Peace'
Chapter Five: She's My Best Friend
Chapter Six: Driving Me Crazy
Chapter Seven: What If I Wanted To Break?
Chapter Eight: Thanks To You I Am Not Myself
Chapter Nine: The Best Of Us Can Find Happiness In Misery
Chapter Eleven: Stop Dragging Around, I Think That Somebody Knows
Chapter Twelve: I'll Sing Along Cause I'm Barely Hanging On
Chapter Thirteen: All The Concrete Words Around Here
Chapter Fourteen: She Paints Her Fingers With A Close Precision
Chapter Fifteen: I'm The Bad Seed; I Think I Swallowed It Whole
Chapter Sixteen: Wake Up, Take My Hand And Give Me A Reason To Start Again
Chapter Seventeen: Your Eyes Are Swallowing Me
Chapter Eighteen: Somewhere Between Happy And Total Freaking Wreck
Chapter Nineteen: Nobody Said This Would Be Easy
Chapter Twenty: I'm A Loose Bolt Of A Complete Machine
Chapter Twenty One: Trying Numbness Instead Of Pain
Chapter Twenty Two: I Will Change Everything Till It's Perfect Again
Chapter Twenty Three: Cause You Are Perfect Porcelain
Chapter Twenty Four: You Build Me Up And Then I'll Fall Apart
Chapter Twenty Five: Can You Feel My Heart
Chapter Twenty Six: Second Chances Won't Leave Us Alone
Chapter Twenty Seven: Anything You Say Can And Will Be Held Against You
Chapter Twenty Eight: I Would Never Let You Drown, Even If We're Going Down
Chapter Twenty Nine: I Wanna Be Your Lost Boy
Chapter Thirty: I'd Be Good To You
Chapter Thirty One: I Thought I Buried You
Chapter Thirty Two: You're Getting Stuck, And You F-cked It Up
Chapter Thirty Three: I'm Not Okay, And It's Not Alright
Chapter Thirty Four: You Say I Would Make A Better Liar
Chapter Thirty Five: My Bag Is Ripped And Worn, Then Again Now So Am I
Chapter Thirty Six: You Make Me Sick, I Make It Worse By Drinking Late
Chapter Thirty Seven: I'm The First Kid To Write Of Hearts, Lies, And Friends
Chapter Thirty Eight: I Know It Won't Ever Change, But It Hurts The Same
Chapter Thirty Nine: Ain't It Good To Be On Your Own?
Chapter Forty: This Was No Accident, It Was A Therapeutic Chain Of Events
Chapter Forty One: Just Close Your Eyes, The Sun Is Going Down
Chapter Forty Two: I'm Awake And Trying
Chapter Forty Three: The Ocean Is Black and Black The Sky Is Too
Chapter Forty Four: Sometimes Quiet Is Violent
Chapter Forty Five: Sometimes To Stay Alive, You Gotta Kill Your Mind
Chapter Forty Six: I Put My Faith In You- So Much Faith
Chapter Forty Seven: As Clumsy As You've Been, There's No One Laughing
Chapter Forty Eight: You Haven't Seen Any Of My Best
Chapter Forty Nine: What A Twisted, Twisted, Twisted Game
Chapter Fifty: And Boy You're So Not The One
Chapter Fifty One: I'm The Option You Shouldn't Have Chosen
Chapter Fifty Two: I Want To Hate Every Part of You
Chapter Fifty Three: I Ponder of Something Terrifying
Chapter Fifty Four: So Progress Report: I Am Missing You To Death
Chapter Fifty Five: I'm Dying To Live, Something's Gotta Give
Chapter Fifty Six: As Long As You're Here With Me, I Know I'll Be Okay
Chapter Fifty Seven: Better Off As Lovers
Chapter Fifty Eight: Look Alive, Sunshine
Chapter Fifty Nine: When You Wake Up The World Will Come Around
Chapter Sixty: Every Ounce I Have, I Invest In You
Chapter Sixty One: You Know That I Could Use Somebody
Chapter Sixty Two: Defiant To The End We Hear The Call...
Epilogue: Put Me Through Hell And I'll Make You See
Chapter One: Open Your Eyes, Child, Let's Be On Our Way
IMPORTANT
HEY YOU- YEAH YOU!
I'm Giving Up On You(NOW UP!)
FIVE
Fanfiction Awards 2017
unpublishing??

Chapter Ten: I Give Up On Me Too

17K 653 709
By leavenowordsunspoken

|| Cole Wentz || First Person's ||

I sit on the cold, salmon pink floor outside of the rollerblading rink. The music booms loudly throughout the gaming centre, and all of my friends and my brother are already out on the rink, their rollerblades or rollerskates already tied up. I lace the beige skates onto my feet, my fingers working the knots on the size seven boots.

"Hey, hey, you, you- I don't like your girlfriend!" Avril Lavigne blasts through the speakers, and I can't help but make a face while groaning internally. Talk about coincidental.

"Oh, Colby," Patrick's singsongy voice drags out my name as he skates towards the rink exit and nearly flips over. I burst out in laughter, my eyes crinkling when he grabs the wall to stop himself from falling.

"Shut up," he jokes, his face burning red. I bite my lower lip to stop myself from laughing anymore and spare him anymore embarrassment. He should be ashes by now from how much his face keeps flushing.

"Fine, fine," I raise my hands up in mock surrender, earning a small chuckle from Patrick. He carefully steps out of the rink and skids to a halt, carefully lowering himself into a squatting position. He adjusts my helmet over my hair slightly, his eyes twinkling.

"Why aren't you in the rink yet?" Patrick asks, his eyes locking with my own. I blush softly and look down in embarrassment.

"I'm gonna fall. I suck at skating," I mutter. Patrick, the moderately good rollerblader, puts his hands on his hips and gives me his best sassy face with a bit of attitude.

"With that attitude, you will." Patrick grins, letting his hand reach up for the wall. He pulls himself up to his feet before reaching down and taking my hand into his warm one. I use the support of him and the wall to stand up straight.

"I thought you knew how to skate?" Patrick laughs at me as he has to practically hold me so I don't go tumbling to the arena floor.

"Yeah, four years ago." I respond, clutching onto Patrick's hands as we slowly try to get over the little barrier between the rink and the salmon pink floor. After one foot's over, I nearly fall over and hit the floor, but Patrick's hold on me keeps me upright.

"I see," Patrick laughs at me, holding both of my hands after we're over together. I let him scoot back a bit and give me a bit of space.

"Oh my God, I'm going to fall and crack my head open and die!" I panic, squeezing his hands tightly. He lets out a laugh at my terror and simply tightens his grip on my hands.

"You'll be fine, okay? You have a helmet for a reason." Patrick says.

"Oh, really? I thought it was just there to make my hair look like shit afterwards." I say sarcastically, earning another laugh from Patrick. He slowly scoots backwards, pulling me with him. I can't help but feel my legs lose balance, and in a second, I find myself on the floor with Patrick right next to me. We burst out into laughter.

"Patrick," Elisa comes by, skating gracefully in her little pink summer dress. I can't help but let out a groan. "Come skate with me."

"In a bit, okay? I'm trying to teach Cole how to skate." He smiles at his girlfriend, pushes himself to his feet easily. He leans down and manages to pull me back up to my feet. Elisa's smile falters slightly after seeing our hands still intertwined.

I swear to God, Elisa needs to fucking disappear.

She presses her mouth onto Patrick's, catching him so off guard that he drops my hand.

It doesn't hurt.

It shouldn't hurt.

It really hurts.

"Still don't want to skate with me?" She smirks against his lips. I bite my lower lip and twist around, not even giving Patrick a chance to refuse. How could he refuse? The girl he loves was practically sucking on his face.

I try skating away from him, but I almost lose my balance and totally wipe out. Joe Trohman comes in with the save, his arms wrapping around my torso easily and guiding me over to the far wall, away from where Patrick was being dragged around by Elisa.

"God, I hate her." Joe comments, unwrapping his arms from around me and taking my right hand. I raise an eyebrow.

"Does everyone hate her here?" I ask. Joe lets out a laugh before nodding.

"Everyone but Patrick." Joe corrects me, making me laugh lightly. I see Patrick turn his head, looking for me, and when he finally spots me with Joe, he seems to sigh in relief.

I turn my head to look at Joe, his crazy curls and all. He chews on his lower lip thoughtfully before speaking. "He cares about you, Cole. A lot."

"I know that," I reply, my hands clutching onto the wall so I don't fall. Joe turns his head to look over at me, shaking his head.

"No, I mean Patrick really cares. We all see it, just you don't."

Before I can even think of a response to Joe, I hear shouting. Practically everyone turns their heads in the direction of Patrick and Elisa, their words muffled and inaudible because of the music blasting over the loudspeakers.

I know what they're fighting about. Elisa probably made a snarky remark about the way Patrick and I were holding onto each other, making Patrick scold her for it, ending with a heated argument. That's why they always fight nowadays.

Me.

It's always your fucking fault.

I look over at Joe, who only says, "He really cares about you." I know he's referring to how Patrick always defends me from Elisa, but before I can stop myself, I'm skating toward the exit so fast, my skates sliding over the rink floor. I don't know how I'm staying upright for so long, but I almost completely drop. I undo the little belt for my helmet, whipping it off and onto the floor. I manage to make it to the exit, but I immediately lose my balance and dive over the little barrier. I hit the salmon pink floor. Hard.

"Holy shit," Pete swears, probably when he sees me sprawled out on the floor. My stomach twists and turns, the pain my head is enduring worsening the sick feeling in my gut. I push myself up into a seated position and practically rip the skates off my sock covered feet. Pete skates towards the exit, hopping over the barrier with ease and crouching in front of me.

"Hey, are you okay?" Pete's hand lands on my forehead where he tries to check my temperature. He's such a dad sometimes, but I guess it's because he is one.

"Peachy," I answer, earning a chuckle from my brother.

"Hey, forget about Elisa. It's just three more weeks and then we're off to Canada without her." Pete says. I raise an eyebrow.

"I thought she was going to stay for four weeks?" I say.

"She decided that she rather not go to Canada and leave in like a week." Pete grins, making my lips curve up into a grin of my own.

"Here," Pete says, collecting the black helmet I discarded earlier and fastening the strap of the helmet onto my head. He practically forces me to put on the rollerskates again. "Just have fun for once. Please?"

"Cole," Patrick skids to a stop easily, grabbing the wall while stepping out of the rink. "There you are."

"I thought you were skating with Elisa." I shoot, making him let out a frustrated sigh.

"I thought you were skating with Joe." He retorts, making me pretty much roll my eyes.

"Yeah, after I nearly split my head open by myself." I snap, making him sigh and squat down next to me. Pete looks back and forth between us, confused with the sudden argument.

Patrick opens his mouth to respond but he's cut off by Pete. "Shut up, both of you."

"What?" I narrow my eyes at Pete in annoyance. He cracks a blinding Pete Wentz grin before pointing at us.

"I swear to God, you guys need to stop arguing." Pete says, standing up and pulling Patrick and me up with him. He shoves Patrick forward and back into the rink, pushing me to follow after him.

"Have fun!" Pete sings, turning around and skating over to Joe Trohman, Taylor York, Ryan Ross, and Dallon Weekes. They immediately immerse themselves in jokes and fool around like children. I can't help but smile.

"Hey, let's start over, okay?" Patrick finally says, reaching out and intertwining our hands so I stay in balance. "We only have like an hour left before we have to go."

"Sure," I say, letting my hands and his own stay in a tight grasp. "Don't leave me to die here though, okay?"

"I solemnly swear to bot leave you to die in this rink." Patrick chuckles, moving backwards and pulling me with him.

"Fucking boy scout," I mumble, making Patrick burst out into a fit of shaking laughter.

"I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall!" I cry out, watching our feet glide across the floor way too smoothly. Patrick lets out a laugh at my behaviour.

"No, you won't." Patrick says, his face burning red. I can't help but let out a shaky laugh as slowly, we skate together. "See? I got you."

Patrick and I continue to skate around until I finally got the courage to hold only one of his hands. We went around the entire rink in laps, our heads tucked in together as we talked about anything and everything.

Finally, Patrick pulls out the big guns and fires the question I knew was eating him alive. "How long have you had anxiety?"

"Um," I take in a deep breath as we make our way around the rink in our fifth lap. He turns his head to look over at my face as I suck in my lower lip. "Since the Pete thing. It's gotten a bit worse though, lately."

It's true. Ever since the day I almost lost Pete to suicide, I've always had these little episodes, but they got way worse about two months ago. The Derek thing.

Patrick looks down, knowing exactly what I meant by those four sad words. The attempt took a toll on Patrick too, and I know that he struggled to cope when he found out what Pete tried to do.

"Do you know what's triggering them?" Patrick asks me. I bite my tongue before I can even think about telling him the truth. The heavy, dreadful, honest truth.

"I don't know." I lie to him so easily, it terrifies me.

Patrick looks down, holding whatever he wants to say in. I can't help but notice Elisa standing next to a bored looking Hayley Williams. Elisa is running her mouth as she narrows her eyes at me and Patrick. I shoot her a smile.

"I hate when you lie to us, you know?" I snap my head to the right, looking up at him in shock.

"What-"

"I know that you're hiding things from us, and it hurts, Porcelain." Patrick says. I want to pull away from him. I want to shout at him and tell him that it's none of his business. That he needs to shut his damn mouth and stop caring. Tell him to stop calling me Perfect Porcelain, because I swear, I'm nowhere near that.

But instead, I let go of his hand and grab the wall, lowering myself to sit on the floor. Patrick hesitantly does the same as me.

"Why does it hurt?" I say, my voice almost breaking. "Why should it hurt?"

"Because you're one of my best friends, and I hate to see you like this." Patrick answers me honestly, pulling me in close to his chest. I can smell his fresh scent- cologne and soap. I can hear the quick beat of his heart.

Close, so close.

"See me like what?" I whisper.

"Broken."

"Why don't you just give up on me already?" I ask him as he rubs his tired eyes. He looks down at me, pulling me in.

Closer.

So close.

"Why should I?" Patrick whispers, his sweet voice deep, pulling me in like a siren. But still, I manage to reply.

"Because I give up on me, too."

HOLY SMOKES THIS CHAPTER HAS SO MUCH CATRICK IN IT! I hope you guys liked this one as much as I did. Just wanted to develop the friendship between Patrick and Cole. Please, please, please continue to vote and comment because I absolutely love seeing the support for this story. Thank you, and sorry if there are any typos. Bye!

•LeaveNoWordsUnspoken

Continue Reading

You'll Also Like

7.7K 337 31
[COMPLETE/UNEDITED] There's Scarlet Jackson, my little sister. She gets any guy she wants, she's the queen of them, if that was such a thing. Her nam...
21.4K 1.1K 26
A small town singer gets picked up by a singing competition that showcases the best voices in music. Only 100 people are selected from all over Ameri...
149K 4.1K 70
Skye has lived her life without a father, finding out that the bass guitarist of her favourite band is her dad sends her feelings about have a one in...
106K 4.1K 32
Lead vocalist of Fall Out Boy, Patrick Stump, struggles with depression, anorexia and severe anxiety/trust issues. With Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wen...