I wanted to rip Charlotte’s boss a new asshole and dare him to raise his voice at her or Auggie again.
“Everyone is being so mean to Mommy,” his small voice pulled me out of my violent thoughts. His eyes peered up at me and suddenly my chest warmed and I melted into a puddle of nothing. It was still looking like looking at a child version of my little brother, Aaron.
“You’re mom doesn’t deserve that,” I said, “Neither one of you do.” If I had it may way, I would have when back and made him apologize, I wanted to add. The best thing was getting Auggie out of the situation and letting Charlotte do her job. If I had it my way, I’d send her money so she didn’t have to work. “Okay, little buddy, what do you want to do?” I said, “We can do anything you want.”
Auggie put his index finger in his mouth and shugged. His cheeks and nose tinged an agitated red. I knew I needed to get him out of the cold.
“Are you hungry?”
He shook his head.
“Are there any good toy stores around here?”
He smiled and pointed his little finger still wet with his saliva in a direction, my eyed followed.
“Toy store it is.” I chuckled.
The small toy store was nothing like I would have expected. It was like going back in time into the 50s. There was mostly wooden toys, wagons, bikes, a baby dolls. I was prepared to get him the latest Xbox, a Nintendo Switch, maybe even a computer. That would probably come later when I got back home.
When we walked in, the door dinged and Auggie shot out of my arms like a bolt of lightning.
“Well, good morning.” The man behind the counter with a thick pair of glasses said, “Not used to customers this early but welcome and let me know if there is thing I can help you with.”
I gave him a nod and searched the isles looking for Auggie, “Auggie,” I called out, “Augman? Where are you, little buddy?”
I heard a giggle from the back of the store and then, “Choo! Choo!”
I laughed to myself making my way to the area toward the back, where there were three tables with wooden train tracks and there was Auggie kneeling down my one of him playing with a small train toy.
I squatted down near him as he continued playing crashing two trains into each other.
“Having fun?”
He smiled at me, and pushed a small box car in my direction, “Come on, let’s play.”
I grabbed an engine off the track and connected it to the boxcar on the side of the track in front of me. I pulled it around the track slowly.
“You have to make the sound,” Auggie instructed.
“The sound?”
“Like this. Choo! Chooooo!” He pulled his line of train cars over the track.
I laughed, “Okay. Let me try. Choo! Choooo! Chooo!”
Auggie giggled.
“You like trains?”
Auggie nodded quickly.
“You ever been on a train?”
He shook his head bringing his train across a bridge. “Have you been on a train?” He asked.
I smiled thinking back, “Once or twice. Once with my little brother.” The memories flooded back and I felt a weight on my chest, “Once we hopped on a boxcar and rode two states away.” I almost regretted it when I said it. I hoped I wasn’t giving him ideas.
“What’s a boxcar?” He said not looking up from his train.
I pulled off the red boxcar, he’d handed me and showed it to him, “This is a box car. It is how trains transport things from one place to another.”
“What’s your brother’s name?”
“Aaron,” I said hoarsely.
“Where is he now?”
He was like a reporter. He asked the hard questions, “He’s in heaven.”
“We talk about heaven in my preschool.” He said, “He’s with God and Jesus, eating cotton candy and playing all day.”
I laughed quietly.
“Do you miss him?”
I swallowed a lump in my throat, “Everyday.”
He stopped his train in the middle of the track and stared at it for a moment, “I wish I had brother.”
I looked at him. I gotten him a dog, and was prepared to give him anything he’d asked for but the one thing he’d asked for was the one thing I couldn’t give him. “I’m sure you a friend or two that’s like a brother.”
He shook his head. “Brittany at my school says I don’t have friends because I don’t have a dad.”
I wanted to tell him that Brittany sounded like a real bitch, but the last thing I needed was for him to talk like me.
“Will you be my dad?”
The question hit me square in the chest and as he looked up at me he nearly broke me down. Jaxon Chase, the hot-headed so called rock star, was nothing in that moment. Just the thought of telling this amazing kid, that shared my DNA, that I helped create, that I couldn’t be his father made me feel like I was lower than scum. “I can be your friend, Augman. As long as I’m here.”
He smiled content with that. His little arms wrapped around me. I held him to me. He smelled like warm cookies. Pulled him in my arms. “You’re killing me, kid.” I said feeling my eyes burn.
He pulled back and looked up at me confused.
I chuckled, “I’m sorry I mean, I’m glad we’re friends.”
“Me too.” His little face lit up and he went back to playing. He was content with me being his friend, and even though neither of us knew how long I would be with him, he was happy. He was like Tiny Tim from A Christmas Carol, which made me feel worse. He was content but deserved so much more than I could offer him. Him and his mother.
We played in the toy store for a couple of hours, I even bought him a shiny red fire truck. I went back to Ms. Beverly’s to ask if she knew of a better restaurant to eat lunch than that crap hole of a diner. She thought Auggie was so adorable she decided to turn her bed and breakfast, into a bed, breakfast, and lunch just for him. We had grilled cheese and homemade chicken soup.
After we ate, Auggie rubbed his eyes, and I could tell he was ready for a nap, so I took him to my room and let him take a nap on my bed. He was the single most precious thing I had ever seen. I resisted the urge to call him my son, because the truth was, he wasn’t. I put a throw blanket over him, and sat against the wall and watched him sleep.
* * * *
I didn’t remember dozing off but the loud TV pulled me out of my sleep. I heard the guy on the screen talking about my band Mayday! Our latest song, hit number one on the charts and we were preparing to start the European leg of our next tour. I reached into the creases of the couch until I found the remote and turned off the television. I brushed my hand over my face and felt the lack of facial hair. It wasn’t the thick beard I had before, but more of a trimmed goatee, and my hair was a lot shorter.
I heard more noise coming from behind me I turned and noticed the familiar stairs and that the living area was a lot bigger than the bed and breakfast room. This was the mansion, I’d purchased after I got married and the sound coming from upstairs was moaning like a porno movie.
“Will you get your son, Jaxon. Ugh! He’s worse than you. ” Gina stormed into the room from the kitchen. Her long white blonde hair hung over her shoulders, her face was made up but sunken in, from the drug use, and not to mention the plastic surgery. She pushed my my head forward. “Be a father for once.”
I stood accepting that this was a dream, but still cringing at the thought that Gina and I were still married and had kids. I went up the stairs and into a long dark hallway. There was a door at the end, I carefully turned the handle and opened the door. There were squeals on the other side, and two women in a large bed.
“What the fuck, Dad?” The curly hair and the blue eyes of the naked man in the middle of the two women scampering to cover themselves, looked all to painfully familiar.
“Auggie.” I manage to say.
“Why don’t you take a fucking picture old man?”
* * * * *
Banging pulled me out of my sleep. It took me a moment to recognize my surroundings. Auggie, who was still a little kid, was sleeping like a cherub in the bed, oblivious to the incessant knocking at the door. I stood and went to the front door. Looking in the peephole my heart stuttered when I noticed a pissed off Charlotte. I quickly unlocked the door and opened.
“Where the hell is my son?” She yelled.
“He’s asleep,” I whispered.
She pushed past me, and I just backed away and allowed her into my room. She barged into my room and I followed behind her. I knew there was no point getting in between a angry momma bear and her cub.
She just stood on the other side of the bed and watched him sleep. She covered her mouth. I didn’t know what was going through her head.
“He got tired so I put him down for a nap,” I said.
“You said you’d be back.” She growled softly as she had a death glare on me, “I waited for you.”
“I’m sorry Char,” I said, “We were going to head back after he woke up.”
She knelt down and carefully shook him until he woke up, “Auggie. Auggie, baby, wake up, okay?”
His eyes fluttered open and and smiled slowly, “Hey Mommy.”
“You okay.”
He nodded, “Me and K-wyle had fun. We played with trains.”
“Get your coat, we have to go, baby.”
“He can stay with me the rest of the day,” I offered. “I don’t have to go to work until tonight.”
She shook her head, “Come on, Auggie.” She didn’t even look up at me, even when I grabbed her shoulders.
“Charlotte, look at me. He’s fine. We’re fine.” She looked up at me, “He had a great day. I took good care of him. He’s happy and healthy. Everything’s okay.”
Her head dropped, “Kyle, I...”
I caught her chin and lifted it so that her soft brown eyes met mine, “Everything is okay. I’d never hurt Auggie or you. I just want to help.”
She pulled away “Kyle you seem like a nice guy, but I don’t need your help.”
“Why don’t I babysit for you. Free of charge,” I offered, “I can watch Auggie during the day, and you can go to work.”
Charlotte shook her head, “Come on Auggie, we have to go.”
Auggie walked into the living room, “I need to find my fire truck.”
Charlotte looked up at me, “Fire truck?”
Auggie returned to the room with his truck, “K-wyle got it for me.”
I noticed a tight pissed off smile on Charlotte’s face, “How much?”
I looked at her for a moment.
“How much was the fire truck, Kyle?”
I shrugged.
She let out a loud huff and I noticed her digging in her back pocket. She pulled a a wad of cash, it looked like it was mostly ones. Her tips.
“Auggie why don’t you go and play with your new truck in the living room, and let me talk to, Mom,”
Auggie smiled and scampered out of the room with his truck. I clutched both of her hands. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I have to worry about it.”
“I feel like you’re the one that got jipped anyway, your kid is awesome,” I said, “I feel like I owe you.”
Her head tilted up, and my mouth slowly fell onto her soft fiery lips. She didn’t fight me, she kissed back. Her tongue teased mine and her head tilted back allowing me to taste the sweet ecstacy of her delicious mouth. My hands roamed her vivacious curved and hers drifted under my shirt, my dick ached against my jeans, hungry for her. I stroked her hair as we fell backward onto the bed.
The feel of her was nothing like yesterday morning, the raging hunger I felt was like nothing I’d ever felt before. I sent jolts of electricity through my flesh. I wanted all of her.
“I can’t...” I managed to her her say as she pushed against my chest.
Gritting my teeth I pulled away even though every muscle in my body was ready to go, I’d learned a lesson the last time. If she hit me in the dick now, I’d feel it next week.
“I can’t do this , Kyle.”
“It’s okay,” I said catching my breath, “I don’t want anything from you. I just want to be here for you if you need me.”
She scooted away but I softly clutched her wrist, “Charlotte. I just want to be a friend. That’s all I want.”
She laughed breathlessly, “I’m sure you say that to all the girls you bring up here.”
I chuckled, “I don’t bring other girls up here. Just you.”
She cocked her head to the side and made an expression like she didn’t believe me.
“Honest.”
“Not what I heard, but whatever Kyle.”
“You heard something about me and another girl?” I thought about the woman from the other night.
“You should just know this is a small town and you should be more careful.” She started to move away again, but I grabbed her hand.
“You think I slept with another woman, that’s why you don’t trust me?”
She laughed, “Kyle, I don’t care. I just think you should be more careful.”
“But if she is the reason we can’t be friends, you should know the truth.” I said, “I didn’t sleep with her. She was just drunk.”
“Kyle, that’s your business,” She pulled her arm away, “I’m sorry I brought it up.” She stood fixing her clothes.
“Charlotte.” There was more begging in my voice than I expected, but I hated what she thought about me. I knew I couldn’t explain it. She wouldn’t believe me, and whatever she thought about me, she wouldn’t have been wrong to think. I wasn’t here to sweep her off her feet, and be the father that Auggie needed. I pictured being deep inside of her, having her wrapped around me, screaming my name, but for the first time I felt like a bastard thinking about the afterward and the fact that I didn’t have a damn thing to offer her, not even empty promises.
“I gotta go.” She started toward the door. She stopped for a moment and looked back at me. My heart throbbed hopefully, “Why don’t you come to dinner at my house? Just so we’re even.”
That hope was slowly depleted when I remembered I had to work, “I have to go to work tonight. I want to though. I could call out.”
“No.” She said quickly. “Where do you work?”
“Moonshines.”
Something in her face fell like there was something wrong. “Moonshines?”
“Yeah,” I laughed nervously, “Is that bad?”
“No,” she smiled snapping out of whatever thoughts she was having, “Why don’t I bring you lunch? I don’t like to have any outstanding debts to people. At least let me bring you lunch.”
I nodded like an idiot. “Sure.”
“Thank you.” She said.
“My pleasure.” She had no idea how much it was. With she left my room and after a few moments I heard the door close. I fell back on the bed trying to wrap my mind around what had just happened. I asked myself again, what I was doing here. I was trying to help Auggie and Charlotte, but I knew that she wasn’t going to make it easy. I needed to find a way. I had a few more days to find out what would change their lives for the better and truthfully everything I could think of was beyond what I could do and would take longer than a week to make happen. For the first time understood what people meant when they said there were somethings that money couldn’t buy.