My Love, My Drug, My Release

By Xpen7777

99K 3.7K 1K

14-year-old Lorraine's life spun out of control when her step-mother and legal guardian, Linda Eastman, marri... More

Introduction/Warnings
Cast
Chapter 1: Sing to Me
Chapter 2: On My Knees
Chapter 3: Four Chords
May 19th, 1967
Announcement
Chapter 4: A Cheery Welcome
Chapter 5: Dance With Me
September, 1968
September 1968- A Week Later
Chapter 6: Never Have I Ever
Early October, 1968
Chapter 7: Anti-Me
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 8: High
Wednesday, October, 1968
Chapter 9: Before the Dreaming
Chapter 10: The Package
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 11: Gallagher
November, 1968
Chapter 12: Detention
Chapter 13: Solo
Late November, 1968
Chapter 14: Dangerous Men
Chapter 15: Too Good to be True
Paul's Perspective
Christmas Eve, 1968
Chapter 16: The Diner
Chapter 18: The Fool
Christmas, 1968
Chapter 19: Girlfriends
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 20: Desperation
Boxing Day Morning, 1968
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 21: Biting Down
Boxing Day Evening, 1968
Chapter 22: A Lover and a Mother
Chapter 23: Jailbait
New Year's Eve, 1968
Chapter 24: You Are Mine
Chapter 25: Children
Paul's Perspective
Early January, 1969
Chapter 26: Hidden
Early January, 1969- Later That Day
Chapter 27: Three Gifts
Chapter 28: Terrible, Beautiful, Wonderful
Chapter 29: Satan's Mirror
Paul's Perspective
Announcement
Mid-January, 1969
Chapter 30: Mum
Chapter 31: Family Friends
Chapter 32: A Day of Firsts
Paul's Perspective
Late January, 1969
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 33: Forbidden Fruit
January 26th, 1969
Chapter 34: More Than Friends
Chapter 35: Stay
Paul's Perspective
January 30th, 1969
Chapter 36: Waking Up
Chapter 37: Invisible
Early February, 1969
Chapter 38: Rabid Animals
Mid-February, 1969
Chapter 39: Meeting the Micks
Chapter 40: The Plunge
Valentine's Day, 1969
Chapter 41: Family Portrait
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 42: Betrayal
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 43: Cammie, Unfiltered
Late February, 1969
Chapter 44: What Do I Want?
Chapter 45: Pain Killer
Early March 1969
Chapter 46: That's Not Love
Chapter 47: Boundaries
Early March, 1969- Later That Day
Chapter 48: Late Night Calls
Paul's Perspective
March 12, 1969
Chapter 49: Love and Friendship
Paul's Perspective
March 20th, 1969
Chapter 50: The New Worst Day
Early-April, 1969
Chapter 51: The Secret's Out
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 52: Junkie
Late April, 1969
Chapter 53: Break a Leg!
Chapter 54: Jackson
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 55: The Truth
Early May, 1969
Chapter 56: It's Just Me
Chapter 57: Reunion
Chapter 58: There's Still a Debt to Pay
Chapter 59: Constriction
Paul's Perspective
August 28th, 1969
Chapter 60: Extention, Extortion
Chapter 61: Sober
Chapter 62: Brandon
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 63: A Little Girl No More
Chapter 64: The Come-Down
Chapter 65: Secrets
Chapter 66: Loneliness
Chapter 67: I'm a Bad Person
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 68: Grown-Ups
Chapter 69: Some Guy
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 70: Fly Away
Paul's Perspective
Epilogue

Chapter 17: Pat Down

901 29 8
By Xpen7777


Students at St. Peter's were overly conscientious of the rules, I always knew that, but it was still weird to see that no one else was in evening detention other than Gallagher and I. Not a single stoner or class clown, no one had ditched school or talked back, so it was just me, my new friend, and Mr. Grant. Of course, fate had seen to it that we'd have to serve out our sentence with my English teacher. Maybe he'd even requested it just to spite me.

"I don't know what kind of treatment you two have been used to, but detention with me will be a silent affair," he said, peering at us over the top reading glasses, eyes impossibly blue. "When I was a boy, they'd give us the cane if we uttered a peep."

Gallagher rolled his eyes before smiling at me. We were a few seats apart, but it didn't matter if we couldn't speak. 

After ten minutes or so, I asked to go to the toilet, out of boredom if nothing else.

"I'll have to walk you," Mr. Grant said standing up. "And before you ask, it's standard protocol. Usually, there are more students left behind to uphold the honor system, but I trust Adam here a good deal more than I trust you."

My whole body sighed as his patronizing words. He really did talk like he was in some off-brand Bronte novel. Luckily, the girls' room was just down the hall, so we didn't need to spend too long in each other's company. Thank God, he didn't follow me in. I wondered if he used Gallagher's first name on purpose to annoy him. It was clear to me, even after just a few conversations, that his surname was his preference. I took my sweet time washing my hands just to annoy Mr. Grant, until he pounded on the door.

"Wait," he said, once I exited. "I need to pat you down."

"Is that protocol too?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, snarkier than I would've thought I'd be, considering the circumstances.

"Yes, it is."

"Why would it matter if I brought something out of the bathroom; I'm going to be in the same room as you. Wouldn't it make more sense to pat me down before I go in?"

"I can't keep my eyes on you the whole time."

"What about the honor system?"

He huffed, clearly frustrated, and forced my arms up, running his hands across them like they do in airports, but much more... thoroughly. Luckily (I hoped) anti-me was back, probably out of some sense of self-preservation. So I didn't even blush as his hands glided up my torso, lingering on my chest. He even knelt down to check my shoes and knee-socks.

"Do you like me?" I asked, remembering what Keith said about my legs. When he stood up to stare at me, I didn't flinch. "It'd be okay if you did; it's natural."

For a moment, he hesitated, then he reached out to play with the button on my blazer. "What would you do if I did?" he asked, which was a decidedly bizarre answer, but he just stood there, not quite meeting my eyes. "It would be very inappropriate, wouldn't it?"

That's when my nerve failed me, and I flinched back terrified. "Yes, it would be." 

If I were Thelma, maybe I'd have acted differently, but my spark was dim to begin with and dwindled quickly. Keith had been right, Mr. Grant was a creep. Maybe one day I'd be found attractive by someone my own age.


Sorry this is so short. I'm more into reading than writing at the moment, so chapters might come a bit slower than they have been for the past couple weeks. I go through phases of trying to find new stories and fanfics, things that don't have too many reads or are just starting out, and supporting them. Also, I'm going through a bit of writer's block, and reading helps that. I've got some books from B&N that I've been wanting to get to. I'm not taking a break, but there will probably not be more than two, maybe three, chapters a week going forward. Thanks again to everyone who is reading, voting, and commenting, it means the world!!!

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