This chapter is a filler. Nothing happens I'm going, to be honest, LMFAO. But oh well. I finished chapter 32 so I had to write chapter 31. And I just want chapter 32 out so I need chapter 31 first causeee you know. Order of operations.
Lol, enjoyyyy this short chapter!
Read if you dare...
______
I opened my eyes. Letting go. I almost saw the hazel twinkle I thought I knew. But no it wasn't. It was blue sky shining back.
The night of the stars was gone. The shine of reality spoke through closed mouths.
________
I grumbled opening my eyes.
Shaking myself awake. I felt a grip stay on me. Roughly and tightly. I see sleepy Blake. His arms were wrapped around me. Nonetheless expected. But he was still sleeping.
There was a lamp on in the room.
Which confused me cause if Blake was sleeping.
Why would the lamp be on?
James.
I shivered.
Maybe it was Blake though.
Blake had his shirt off which I didn't understand since I went to sleep it was on his body.
Now it's off.
I saw his tattoos. Forever and always.
The red marks were fading. But I still saw it.
I poked at the bruised mark. He didn't stir or anything. He just slept peacefully.
Must be fucking nice.
I'm so convinced nothing will hurt him.
'Until you kill him.'
Yes.
No.
Escape.
We gotta escape.
'You have to kill him'
I'll be left with James.
Gosh, James.
James will for sure rape me and kill me.
'So will Blake'
Sigh. For now, I'll be staying with Blake. I looked down at my body. Trying to tighten the robe I was in. His arms were clearly around my waist. His grip was loose.
I couldn't escape now. I know I couldn't.
I wish.
My hands were on his chest.
Forever and Always.
I trailed my hands up. Closer to his collarbone. I stared at his face.
Still.
Unlike his breathing. Everything was still. I felt my hands trail up to his neck till I looked at him.
His stormy black hair got in between his closed eyes.
His long eyelashes hidden from the couple loose strands. I took them pushing them back.
You could see his whole face. His lips standing out the most. Just full lips.
I shut my eyes. The whole point of my hands on his neck was to choke him. But I don't think I could now.
I opened my eyes breathing out.
I couldn't go anywhere so I just laid my head on his chest. I heard him breathe a long deep breath in. I shut my eyes.
I'm gonna sleep again.
But he was fidgeting.
I felt his chin on top of my head.
Before he kissed it. His arms were around my body. He acted as if he was going to pick me up which immediately threw me off.
I opened my eyes. Moving away from him. He took in a breath eyes shut.
He then opened his eyes staring at me.
A bright smile came to his face.
Great.
"Good morning." He spoke groggily. Sleepy voice.
Nah no morning I'm going back to sleep.
His legs started to tangle within mine. He let go of me but I got closer to him.
Head on his chest. I shut my eyes. He was rubbing my arm up and down. Lightly.
I heard his heartbeat even though I wish it was gone.
Like Danny.
Ugh, Danny.
I can't think of him right now. I will have another panic attack.
I grabbed Blake's hand from my arm to my lower back. Then I lifted my head looking at him. Blue eyes knowing everything.
He squeezed me tighter.
Blake had seen my whole body.
I didn't care that half of it was out and half wasn't.
I gotta make him vulnerable.
I gotta distract him.
I untightened my robe just a bit. Not totally taking it off.
"What are you doing, Baby?" He questioned. Sleepily.
"Sh," I whispered. Looking into those blue marbles.
"Tell me." He said cupping my cheeks. I took his hands off my face.
Lowering it where it was before. Right on my waist over the robe. He squeezed it.
"Is this what you want?" He whispered chuckling. I could tell he was smirking. I didn't have to look up.
I wish I wanted this.
I gripped his hand again. Placing it in between the robe trailing down my waist. I picked my head up looking into his shadowy eyes. Blue crystals.
"Is this what you want?" I whispered. His hand still.
Laying on my waist.
I moved over on top of him.
He was staring at everything I would do.
The robe had exposed more things than less as I sat up.
I undid the robe having it fall down my shoulders.
I bent down face to face centimeters away. I wanted him to do something. Anything. But he stared at me intently. I looked down at his lips not caring to stare into his eyes. Lips inches apart.
"Guess not." I simply said staring at his lips. Then glancing up at his eyes. Sitting up closing my robe. Turning to lay back down.
"You love provoking me." He said. I had my back towards him. Going back to sleep.
I bit my lip frustrated.
Plan one down the drain.
On for plan two.
Maybe not right now since he knows I'm up to something.
"I liked that little show you tried to put on." He said pulling my top part of my robe down. Kissing the edge of my shoulder
"Yeah, thanks," I said dismissively. He was supposed to react. So I'd react.
"What do you want me to do?" He said annoyed. Pushing me over so I could see him. He had a tremendous frown. Eyebrows furrowed lips tightened.
"Frowning makes you look older," I said unconsciously.
"What do you want?" He yelled unexpectedly. Grabbing my hands. Shaking me. Oh god, I feel awful. He was scaring me. Like really bad.
I felt he was going to spaz on me...
"H-hold me," I muttered eyes shut. I opened my eyes to him confused. He let go of my arms. I felt nauseous having to say words I knew would put me on his good side.
I couldn't take him hitting me. I really couldn't. My body would've shut down.
"I j-just want you to hold my br-brokenness," I whispered nearly inaudible.
Fuck I wasn't supposed to be the vulnerable one. He was. He was supposed to be vulnerable.
I sucked in a breath no tears.
Not today.
He had pulled me closer. Kissing my forehead. His examination was sharp. His eyesight roaming my thoughts and mind. My brain might be hazy. But I swear he was searching through my soul. Trying to pick pieces that would either ruin me or keep me in.
Trying to persuade me.
His mouth found a way to mine like always.
Suffocating my lips. Encasing me in a fantasy's destruction.
'It's reality, not a fantasy'
I should've known his blue eyes would haunt me down to the end of time. And his cold lips would leave scars and desolation onto my body.
Taking in my last bit of energy to be as burdened and exhausted as him.
I gasped letting go.
As he kissed my neck. I bit my lip. Not thinking.
'You have to think' I didn't want to think anymore. It was making me more depressed.
Blake loved it.
I needed to stop it. I couldn't have him do that anymore. He was traveling farther and farther.
"Blake," I mumbled. Not needing him to make me feel—
I bit my lip widening my eyes. I grabbed his cheeks. Sitting up. He was inching too far for my liking.
'No you liked it. You just shouldn't.'
Stop it I didn't. How could I like what he is doing? After he has tortured me.
'You feel sorry for him'
I feel sorry for myself too. Kissing his cheek. Trying to deter him from doing anything further down.
"Stop," I mumbled holding his cheeks.
I laid back down as Blake let his head fall to my stomach.
Pushing the covers off of his bare back. I was shaking, however.
His lack of touch made my body immediately freeze. Ironic.
"Aren't you cold?" I asked looking down at him. He held onto my waist. Kissing my stomach pushing part of the robe off. So he could rest his head I suppose.
His eyes had sunk into mine. Pushing his strays of hair up that was hiding his face.
"You're warm." He simply acknowledged.
"I don't feel warm," I stated.
"Well, you're bright as the sun." He mumbled.
"Bright?" I questioned confused.
'Sun?'
He was staring at me before staring at my stomach. Tracing along it.
"Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, 'You owe me.' Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky." He said to himself laughing a little. As if he was in disbelief.
I was in complete shock. I loved that quote. Thomas had told me that. Sigh.
"Look What happens with a love like that." He said twirling me around. He was happy. I was happy he was acting himself again he picked me up and started acting like a loon.
"It lights the whole sky," I mumbled through the sad memory staring at the sky.
Blake I mean. His eyes reminded me of the sky. I haven't seen the blue sky in a while. I haven't seen outside in a while. Besides being taped up last night I guess.
"Yes, it does." He said staring at me. He laid his head down.
I just wanna fall asleep again.
But I couldn't.
Blake fell asleep. So quick. What type of bullshit that is.
The criminal can sleep well. The criminal can eat well.
The victim is tortured and beaten.
Sometimes raped.
But can't get a good night sleep because of thoughts so consumed with the horrors of what they've been through. So they can't sleep or sleep with nightmares.
They can't eat because the criminal tries starving them some days.
They can't relax because their anxiety is being awoken within every minute of breathing. I stared at the sleeping criminal.
I couldn't move since he was on top of me. Well halfway.
I stopped trying. Looking up at the ceiling. Thinking of all the things I'm missing back home. I wonder what day today is.
Even month.
I had a fear it was later than I thought it was. Because it was July they took me.
August is the hottest month of the year here.
But it's cold right now.
September wouldn't be that cold. But it'd be colder than August.
What are they thinking? If it's been indeed two months.
They probably think I'm dead.
Ugh!
I felt like I was gonna have a tantrum.
I felt like pushing Blake off of me and choking him. Having him beg. Beg to stop. Because Danny begged for him to stop and he didn't. He didn't stop as Danny cried. As I cried for him to stop. He kept going killing the person that would've helped me go home. Then when Blake's gone I'd go for James.
Unplugging the lamp kicking through the doors and slamming the lamp across James' head. Finding a window. Jumping out.
'That doesn't sound too bad except for the window part. Just end him now'
No, I can't do that right now.
I don't even have the strength for that. Plus I don't even have clothes.
'A robe will suffice'
I can not do it till I'm fully on Blake's good side. Until I get to have clothes again and have the pin to the door. My hair. Ugh, my beautiful now cut hair.
Ugh.
I feel more humiliated than ever.
I felt my tiny bun. Shutting my eyes groaning.
I miss my hair.
I miss my family.
I miss my friends walking home going to the store hanging out.
I miss going outside. Going to stores. How crazy.
I feel like I'm missing something and can't name it. Stores...
I jolted a bit when I heard the door open. James had walked in with some food in his hands. He had a navy blue sweatshirt on with jeans hugging too tight on his legs. He had a smile hair out. I motioned with my finger to be quiet.
"Hello Pumpkin? You want some pancakes?" He whispered. I gave James a grimace nodding.
"Please do not wake him up. He is very tired." I said to James. He nodded winking.
"Rough night?" He asked while smirking. I cringed.
Not that type of rough night.
"No. He is just tired, James." I stated disgusted at his assumptions.
James sat down in the chair that was right next to the bed cutting up the pancake pieces that had syrup drizzled all over.
"Here I'll feed you." He said. Giving me a couple pieces.
Yeah, I'm sure by James mannerisms Blake would wake up soon. Which I did not want.
"Thank you," I whispered while chewing. He flattered himself. Gushing as I said thank you.
"You're my sugar plum, bubble gummy bear, sweet little, brown-eyed, baby, Doll. Of course, you are welcome." He sang.
I cringed nearly choking.
I forgot about that song. I cringed smiling. Eating the food giving him a thumbs up. I looked down at sleepy Blake. Pushing his hair back softly.
"I'm glad you're starting to love him." He examined stating. I didn't even realize I was pushing his hair back. He just reminded me of a little kid.
I wasn't loving him.
"Where are you going?" I asked looking up and down at his outfit. Plus his hair combed out.
"I am off to dye my hair an old man like me still needs to look good." I widened my eyes wanting to have a fit of laughter. I chose not to. Let Blake sleep so he's not interrogating me the whole rest of the day.
"Thank you for the food. I want him to rest." I lied through my teeth. The pancakes were making the roof of my mouth hurt.
"You're welcome. I'll let you sleep." He said taking the empty plate exiting.
Gosh, thank god that's over. Now for plan two get rid of all the cameras. Get on Blake's good side. Escape.
Hahaha, this will be good.
_____
Wooooo! This chapter is done. Lol, I liked it. It is small simple. Not too complex and yeah.
Next chapter issss awesomeeee. I'm probably gonna do a double post within a couple hours. Plus the quote is from Hafiz! Such a cute quote. Have a good day lovelies.