not edited
— kapel —
(n) the meltwater that drips from the roofs and trees during spring thaw
origin ; russian
"Are you guys finally together," Pyper nearly screamed once she saw me in her brother's arms on the couch in the living room. Everyone's head snapped in her direction behind us - the guys, Phoenix, and I that is. Her pink hair flew wildly as she nodded frantically, mouthing please, please, please, with wide accusatory eyes.
I nodded happily, beaming and Phoenix kissed my temple, smiling.
"Fucking finally," Blake praised and my head swivelled back to his direction.
"Talon, where's my hundred at?" Judah snickered and Talon grunted.
"Oh! Blake, you slave, pay the fuck up," Marlowe smiled innocently and Judah laughed, shaking his head. My eyes narrowed as I looked between my friends, wondering what the hell was going on.
"Marlowe, watch how you speak to my brother," Pyper threatened, "because it's not like you don't owe me anything too," she added obnoxiously.
"Okay, we have to leave for school in fifteen minutes. And in those fifteen minutes, I want to know what the fuck you're all talking about," Phoenix growled.
"Come on, brother, don't tell me you didn't think for a second we'd bet on how long you'd take to pull that bloody stick out your pretentious ass," Blake rolled his eyes. I, totally unable to control myself, crumbled in my seat, laughing until tears clouded my eyes, "My stomach hurts," I whined and began laughing again once I saw Marl and Judah doubled over in laughter.
"Adrianna," Phoenix whined and frowned. He sounded like a little boy who'd lost his favourite game and there was absolutely nothing more precious.
"Phoen," I smiled widely, containing my laughter as I pulled his head down to meet his lips in a short kiss. All the while, our cheeky mates laughed and hooted for us as if we were at a bloody soccer match.
§
"Adrianna," Professor Herrington called my name with a small smile. I smiled back in return, much more nervously, as I got up from my seat and walked over to her desk. Gingerly, I handed her the three pages before walking to the middle of the classroom.
"Just breathe, Adrianna, you will be perfectly fine," she assured me in a soothing tone, making me believe she knew just how nervous I currently was, "And just remember, you can stand for your performance, or you can sit on the stool, make yourself comfortable."
"I'll take a seat," I chuckled nervously, pulling the stool and situating in the middle of everyone, "I plan on taking my time with this," I rushed out quietly. I was a mess and only bound to get worse. I couldn't even bring myself to meet Phoenix, Pyper, or Blake's burning stares.
We were in creative writing class and today, instead of writing, we were reciting poetry. And to make things bloody better, I just happened to be going first. Fucking shoot me, please.
"I'm Adrianna, as you all probably know," I introduced myself - some bullshit rule that is - anxiously as I took my seat, "And today, I'll be reciting a poem I composed myself. I'm apologising in advance, you might get whiplash from the contrast of emotions," I chuckled, feeling a bit more comfortable, "And please, nobody ask how long I took to write this, all I know is that I went through fifteen drafts before it was finished." I took a deep breath before beginning again.
"loving the vintage arts," I started off in a bold and confident voice.
"epigraph,
few thousand miles
and an ocean away
but i see the sunrise
—oceans away (Arizona)
"she's standing in the middle of where it all began.
gazing around, reminiscing, those golden memories of that vintage studio.
the infinitesimal moments before kisses, the mesmerising eyes, hypnotic gazes, and wicked smiles, the empty mugs to be refilled with sweet tea, the electric fingertips, the young hearts like lightning, but old souls.
the nights spent on the rooftop, stargazing the hush of the night sky, each star a freckle, each planet an island, lonelier from afar.
but all that is gold cannot stay.
"she loved it all.
the arts, old english, vinyls, coffeeshoppes, aesthetics.
she loved it blindly, the feeling darkening over everything.
passionately writing poetry and prose,
writing stories, capturing pretty shots of the sunrise and sunset,
and passionately drawing and painting on white canvas.
she was painting smiles on everyone's face but her own,
being capricious, like a figment out of a book.
she was always seen and unseen.
she was bioluminescent.
she was the epitome of temptation, making him want to succumb.
she found parts in him he didn't know existed.
then again, they were bad for each other, but they weren't good for anyone else.
"walking around, quoting shakespeare and whitman,
letting the curves of her lips rewrite poetry
as she collected picasso and da vinci,
if you wanted to find her,
you'd have to check the coffeeshoppes first.
making galaxies in her coffee
(otherwise known as writing poetry at 2am)
she didn't know
there were constellations and galaxies within her.
stardust danced in her soul, stars danced in her eyes
and her loved shined.
she was a free spirit
and even though she hadn't dealt with anything more difficult than her own soul,
she kept going.
but the circumstances had changed.
the innocence he used to love is gone.
perhaps, it was her false expectations that had created her own heartbreak.
she could hear her own heart breaking,
yet she was still willing to love the same one who broke it.
she couldn't let go of the one person who made her feel like home.
she couldn't seem to close the door to her heart when it's door had been blown to pieces.
everything she wrote on paper,
was an unwritten version of what went on inside her.
she lived not knowing what the media was.
instead, she went to hundreds of
book festivals, music festivals, art festivals, exhibits, museums, and galas.
she had ocean eyes,
so easy to get lost in, yet so captivating.
she found beauty in the dullest of things.
freshly brewed coffee, art gallery cafés, thank-you notes always sent on time,
indie films, a gorgeous piano symphony, english accents, lips pink as roses.
"but as nights pass, she sat in the moonlight,
reading stevenson and hugo.
her coffee got cold as she waited for him to miss her.
she writes 'i still love you' on all of her cigarettes and hopes with each she burns, he would mean a little less.
his words ringing clearly in her head, 'i will be a boat and row your beauty to the moon.'
but at the time, she hadn't known any better. she believed him with all she had.
only to know now, they were all broken promises and pretty lies.
on the other side of the golden thread, his cigarettes chased one after the other, trying to forget her. she gave up with belittling herself to please him, never giving him the time of her day again. and she sat, on the floor of her vintage studio, watching the gold skies," I finished in a soft and sweet tone. The classroom erupted into applause and I was basking in happiness from reading the poem.
"Adrianna, that, that was beautiful," Herrington looked rather speechless when I looked over at her.
"Thank you," I muttered shyly.
Beautiful, baby, Phoenix mouth when my eyes involuntarily found his figure and I blushed.
"Adrianna, I mean it, you did fantastic! You were a nervous wreck before your started," I snickered, "But as soon as you read the title, you took off like you had no worries. I think you set the bar very high, my dear," she smiled warmly. I nodded with a warm smile, returning back to my seat.
"Worthington! You're up next."
"Which one," both Phoenix and Pyper asked at the exact same time with him practically jumping out of his seat.
"Phoenix, since you're so eager to go," Herrington gave him a pointed look through her round glasses whilst he groaned.
"Of course you'd be reading this," she muttered when he handed her his poem.
He stood in the middle of the room, a mischievous glint in his ocean eyes and he clasped his hands together, "I'm Phoenix, which if you don't already know, then we might have a problem.
"And I'll be reciting To His Mistress Going to Bed, by John Donne," he smirked. Gasps were elicited around the room and I only stared at him with an arched eyebrow. I knew the poem all too well, it was a bloody striptease in itself!
"Come, Madam, come, all rest my powers defy,
Until I labour, I in labour lie.
The foe oft-times having the foe in sight,
Is tir'd with standing though he never fight.
Off with that girdle, like heaven's Zone glistering,
But a far fairer world encompassing.
Unpin that spangled breastplate which you wear,
That th'eyes of busy fools may be stopped there.
Unlace yourself, for that harmonious chime,
Tells me from you, that now it is bed time.
Off with that happy busk, which I envy,
That still can be, and still can stand so nigh.
Your gown going off, such beauteous state reveals,
As when from flowery meads th'hill's shadow steals.
Off with that wiry Coronet and shew
The hairy Diadem which on you doth grow:
Now off with those shoes, and then safely tread
In this love's hallow'd temple, this soft bed.
In such white robes, heaven's Angels used to be
Received by men; Thou Angel bringst with thee
A heaven like Mahomet's Paradise; and though
Ill spirits walk in white, we easily know,
By this these Angels from an evil sprite,
Those set our hairs, but these our flesh upright.
Licence my roving hands, and let them go,
Before, behind, between, above, below.
O my America! my new-found-land,
My kingdom, safeliest when with one man mann'd,
My Mine of precious stones, My Empirie,
How blest am I in this discovering thee!
To enter in these bonds, is to be free;
Then where my hand is set, my seal shall be.
Full nakedness! All joys are due to thee,
As souls unbodied, bodies uncloth'd must be,
To taste whole joys. Gems which you women use
Are like Atlanta's balls, cast in men's views,
That when a fool's eye lighteth on a Gem,
His earthly soul may covet theirs, not them.
Like pictures, or like books' gay coverings made
For lay-men, are all women thus array'd;
Themselves are mystic books, which only we
(Whom their imputed grace will dignify)
Must see reveal'd. Then since that I may know;
As liberally, as to a Midwife, shew
Thy self: cast all, yea, this white linen hence,
There is no penance due to innocence.
To teach thee, I am naked first; why then
What needst thou have more covering than a man," he finished, his eyes burning into mine with pure lust. He actually memorised that whole thing.
"Your choice of poetry is widely known as seduction poetry. And this certain selection bleeds with carnal desire. But as the speaker, who is your carnal desire for That is, if you hold such desire for a certain someone?" A student randomly questioned. Fuck. Off.
"They know damn well who they are," he answered through gritted teeth without taking his eyes off me. I blushed and looked away, unable to hold his heated gaze any longer.
§
"Adrianna, why do you have this," Hunter flung yet another piece of clothing out from my closet. How it landed perfectly in front of my eyes is beyond me, I thought as I sighed tiredly. This morning's poetry recitation might have been eventful but I hardly think it could compare to how eventful the sword fight in my bloody uterus was.
I was sitting Indian style on my bed, completely indulging in California Maki as Hunter decided to go through my closet. The crew had some plans to go out and I told them I'd catch up with them later. Phoenix, however, knew that my current state was a bitch and was insistent on staying home with me. But I felt terrible making him do that, so I told him to go and I'd be okay. Only for half an hour later, being by myself in the mansion, I felt utterly alone with nothing to do. There was no way I was calling Phoenix to come home, so I called Hunter and made him promise to bring me California Maki.
And now I'm realising just how much I screwed myself over. Hunter decided it would bloody wonderful to go through my closet.
My eyes flickered down to the denim overall button dress with Winnie the Pooh embroidered patterns, "Hey! I loved this outfit with all my heart. It was the one I cried to wear everyday when I was like eight," I grinned.
"Okay, you're unbelievable," he muttered from the closet.
"I heard that asshole!"
"Those were my intentions bitch!" He screamed back frustratedly as if he was the one currently suffering a migraine and bleeding to death. Not really, but the audacity!
"I feel harassed," I whined.
"And I don't care, so tell me something I don't know," he sassed back.
We went on for hours, constantly bickering and him throwing clothes in my direction - sometimes directly in my face - until there was a knock at my door.
"Come in," both of us screamed in the midst of yet another argument. This time over my closet being organised by colour and how Hunter found it absolutely insufferable. But it eased my anxiety so fuck you.
"Étoile filante," Phoenix breathed with a smile as he stepped in his room. The smile disappeared just as quick as it came once he saw my raging expression.
"Love, what's wrong," he rushed over to me.
"Nothing much," a smile broke out on my face, "Hunter's just fucking different," I added bitterly while Hunter's head popped out of my closet. Idiot.
"It's not my fault, Adrianna, that your organisation skills are questionable."
"Wait, you refuse to let me stay with you, but you call him over," Phoenix asked in disbelief.
"Phoenix, the adults are speaking, and for starters, I don't trust you to sleep in the same bed as my sister," Hunter said as a matter of factly.
Ignoring them both, I glared at Hunt, "Hunter, if I get up from this bed, I will take harassment to another level," I growled and even Phoenix's eyes widened.
"Phoenix," Hunter shot him a dazzling smile, "Since it seems you've come home to your love, I'll take my leave now. Just to let you know though, she's incorrigible," he glared at me.
"I love you, Adri!" He screamed as he ran out my room.
"I love you too, Hunt," I yell in response and then sigh as I see I only have a piece of my makizushi left.
"You two will forever confuse me," Phoenix stated out of nowhere, "but I can't believe you let him stay with you," he frowned when I looked up at him.
"I'm sorry," I frowned, feeling even more bad than I originally did, "I genuinely didn't want to make you cancel the plans you had with the gang. And then half an hour after you left, it was then I realised how bored I was. There was absolutely no way I was going to call you to come back and well he was my other choice. Even though that clearly was a mistake," I massaged my temples and waved over at my now haphazard closet.
He chuckled, "I think he made your closet a bit more colourful," and I scowled back at him.
"But anyways, how are you feeling, chérie," he took a seat next to me.
"I'm okay, I suppose. My stomach hurts and I'm starting to have a migraine, even though I'd like to blame that on Hunter," I frowned.
"In that case, I'll be right back," he grinned. He left my room only to return seconds later with a stuffed teddy bear in one hand, chocolates in the other, and a small box of pads stuffed under his arm.
"Oh my god," I covered my face with my hands as I felt a deep blush, "Please don't tell me that's for me."
"Of course it is, princesse," he said softly, sitting next to me, this time pulling me on his lap, "Also take these," he handed me two Excedrin pills.
"Thank you, Phoenix," I replied faintly, laying my head against his chest.
"Anything for you, love," he kissed my temple, "Now, what do you want to watch," he asked as he put on Netflix on the television.
Pondering for just a moment, I grinned like a cheshire cat, "The Originals."
—
We were in the midst of our fifth episode when we were interrupted by Phoenix's phone ringing. Surprise flashed through his features as his crinkled his forehead and answered the phone.
"Hello?" He answered rather nervously.
As the person spoke on the other end, light and happiness shined on his face and he wore a wide smile.
"I didn't know you guys were coming home so early," he stated in disbelief.
"..."
"Okay," he beamed before he pulled his phone away from his ear and placed it on my bedside table.
"My parents are home and they invited us over," he exclaimed, visibly thrilled.
———
to his étoile filante going to bed ;)