Thomas's POV
We did it.
We actually did it. We got out. I leaned against a wall and crossed my arms over my chest as I looked around at our Safe Haven. My eyes fell on the memorial with all the names carved into it. The necklace with the note from Newt around my neck suddenly got heavy. I reached up and clutched it.
I haven't taken it off since we got here. At night, when I couldn't sleep, I would read the letter over and over.
I tucked the necklace into my shirt and rolled my shoulders trying to release the tension. I looked around camp to see people doing something I haven't seen in a long time-smiling.
Everyone except for one girl.
My eyes stopped when I noticed a girl, a few feet away, sitting on the beach with her knees tightly tucked into her chest. I didn't have to look hard to see she was crying. This girl, like many of us here, has probably lost everyone she cared about. She's probably lonely, confused, and scared.
Without another moment of hesitation, I walked over to her. "Hi," I said softly, trying not to scare her. She jumped anyway. She looked up at me with scared, red-stained eyes. "Mind if I join you?" I asked, gently.
She looked me over before nodding her head and shrugging her shoulders at the same time. I sat next to her, loosely wrapping my arms around my knees, kind of copying how she was sitting. We watched the waves as neither one of us said anything.
Finally, I decided to introduce myself. "I'm. . ."
"Thomas," she finished for me. Still looking at the waves, she continued, "Everyone knows who you are. You're the reason we're all here."
I looked over at her as a fresh tear slid down her cheek. "What's your name?" I asked her.
"Y/N."
"Well, it's nice to meet you, Y/N." I smiled, trying to come across as nonthreatening. Scaring her is the last thing I wanted to do right now. She had no expression on her face as she kept watching the waves crashing onto the sand.
"I think they are about to serve dinner," I stuttered, feeling stupid that I didn't know what to say to her. Then again, what do you say to someone who has probably lost everything and everyone she has ever loved?
"I'm not hungry," she said, shaking her head. "I haven't been since W.C.K.D "saved" us from the Maze." I couldn't help but smile when she put air quotes around saved.
"I know what you mean," I said. I ran my hands through my hair, unsure of how to cheer this girl up. I wasn't even sure why I wanted so badly to cheer her up. I also wasn't sure why I said what I said next. "If you ever need to talk to someone, you can always talk to me."
This made her look at me. I waited for her to say something, but she didn't. My breath got caught in my throat as I saw the tears start to stream down her cheeks.
"What I need? What I need is for the voices in my head to stop. What I need is for the excruciating pain to either stop or kill me. I need the guilt to end." She stood up and started to run away. It took me a minute before I quickly chased after her.
"Wait," I said once I had caught up to her. I grabbed her wrist, stopping her. I gently pulled on her arm, making her face me. "I'm sorry. . . I didn't mean to. . . I just thought you needed someone to talk to."
"Every time I get close to someone, I end up losing them. I can't. . . I can't lose anymore people." I surprised her by pulling her into my chest and tightly wrapping my arms around her. I immediately felt her tears on my shirt.
"It's going to be okay," I said softly. "I know starting over is scary. I know that everyone has lost a lot of people, but. . . We have to go on. For them." I pulled away and reached up to catch a tear that had started to fall down her cheek. I looked behind her to see a fallen tree. I smiled before intertwining our fingers and leading her to it.
We sat down and watched the waves crash onto the shore. "I ummm" I started to say. "I failed so many people. Yes, I got my friends out of the Maze, but I led them into an unknown world with unknown threats that I wasn't able to protect them from."
I felt her gaze on me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I watched the waves as I continued, "When I woke up, I wished. . . I wished I hadn't been the one to survive. I'd lost so many people, so many friends, that I didn't think I could take it. I would've given up if it wasn't for this."
I let go of her hand and took out Newt's letter, carefully unfolding it. "My friend gave me this letter before he died. I've read it every night since I woke up here. His letter. . . What he wrote has stuck with me. I use it to keep going."
I carefully folded the letter up and slipped it in the necklace he gave me. I looked up to see her watching me. I cleared my throat and blinked my eyes a few times in order to stop the tears.
"You're the reason for all of this, though. People say that you started the rebellion. You went behind W.C.K.D's back and helped so many people. You started all of this," she said gesturing to the camp. "I. . . I've lost everyone I've ever cared about. There's nothing. . . There's nothing left for me."
"That's not true," I sighed, looking over at her. "I know you've lost people. And I wish you hadn't. But. . . But this place is going to be our home now. You're safe here." I bit my lip before adding, "With me. You're safe here with me. I won't let anything happen to you."
For the first time in what feels like forever, that didn't feel like an empty promise.