Declan's POV.
I was crouched in a corner of an ally in Port Angeles, waiting for my chosen victim. I saw a drunken man staggering in this direction a few moments ago. I found a car parked in the ally and assumed it was his.
My plan is, to knock him out by slamming him into the wall. It won't take much to knock him unconscious with how drunk he is. Then I can drink from him and leave him next to his car.
This type of plan has worked before, and the victim doesn't usually remember what happened too clearly either. Praying on drunk people is the easiest way for me to feed.
The trip up to Port Angeles has worn me out, I hope I have the energy to fly home. I don't want to take the bus but I might need too. Hopefully after I feed I'll feel better.
I shifted slightly, getting myself in a better position to pounce. I felt the strength building in my legs as I stayed in the uncomfortable position. Watching, waiting.
I heard the man's footsteps growing closer and I reached for my switchblade so I'd be ready to go. The man's feet dragged with each step he took, and the guilt of what I'm about to do starting weighing in.
I'm going to take advantage of this drunken human like I don't even care but in fact I care very much. I feel terrible about what I have to do to survive. My heart aches for the people I've feed from without their consent.
There's always another way, my mind reminded me.
There is. There are certain people who know about my kind who are willing to be fed from. Donors, in a way. They can consent so it's really not that bad.
However, I choose to stay as hidden as possible. I don't want to risk letting a stranger in on my secret. That being said, I nearly expose myself every time I feed.
I couldn't go through with that though, could I? Having someone be fully awake and aware while I'm feeding and vulnerable, I couldn't deal with that. It's too intimate.
The man turned down and the ally way and I waited until he was no longer lit by the streetlight. When he was completely surrounded by darkness I pounced.
Pushing the man into the brick wall, I watched him crumble to the ground, unconscious. I waited for a moment, making sure he was truly out but still breathing.
Once I decided that he was going to be fine, I pulled him by the legs over to the car parked nearby. I crouched down next to his right arm and took a antibacterial wipe from my pocket and wiped his arm down.
I pulled out my knife and switched it open, bringing it down to the man's wrist I made a small cut. Not very deep but deep enough for blood to be flowing.
Checking once more to make sure the man was unconscious, I decided that it was time to feed. Leaning down, I picked up the man's wrist and brought it to my lips.
As soon and the blood touched my tongue I sucked hard, making more of the hot liquid flow into my mouth. It was sweet and thick, and it satisfied that dark part of me I couldn't run away from anymore.
I could feel my saliva thickening and it started to taste bitter as it killed all the bacteria from the man's blood. My germ killing saliva is the only thing that keeps me from getting sick after I feed, but it still tastes bad.
I drank for a few minutes, enough to satisfy me but not enough to hurt the man. Just enough blood, the drunk man won't even know what happened to him.
I pulled away just to take a quick breath then I pushed my tongue into the wound I created. This is why I have a barbed, cat like tongue. It's the best tool for getting the wound all clean and healed.
I covered the wound and the edges of the cut with lots of spit and pulled away to watch the odd magic. Slowly, the skin started to seal back together. Soon the only remaining mark was a small scar.
I stood and quickly gathered my knife, I exited the scene and left the man where he was. I made my way back to the building I decided to fly from and I let the heavy guilt sink in.
Climbing up the fire escape of a two story restaurant, I ended up on the roof. I pulled off my shirt and checked to make sure the tape on my chest was still in place before putting my shirt into my pocket. After deciding I was in the clear, I ran and jumped off the roof letting my wings out to catch the air.
I pumped my wings until I was high up enough to feel confident and made my way back to Forks. I know I'll make it there but I'm already so tired.
I had to face my guilt now, I'm all alone with zero distractions. I can't believe how I have to live. What did I do to deserve this? Who cursed me?
I knocked a man out cold then stole some of his blood. I violated him, then I left him to either wake up or be found by someone else. Someone maybe even worse then me. I don't want to call myself a monster but what else am I? I used to be a person, what am I now other than a monster.
I flew as fast as I could once the guilt and tiredness started to weigh me down. I need to start flying more to build up my speed and strength. I should be working out my wings just like I work out my other muscles.
I know I'll never be as fast or as strong as the Cullens but I can at least try to be as fast and strong as possible. Emmett and I measured my how fast I could run last time I went over to his house. I was able to hit sixty seven miles per hour. That's faster then I thought I'd ever hit but I still want to be faster, I just need to work on it.
The more I workout and the more muscle mass I build the more inhumanly strong I become. At the moment I can lift about three hundred, give or take a few pounds. My goal is to me at four hundred by the end of the year. Let's just say I've been doing a lot of push-ups.
Of course, I'll never really get to use my speed or strength. I can't show people how fast or strong I really am, but it's still nice to know I have the abilities.
Forks is only a few miles away by now right? I thought exhaustedly. It's becoming hard to fly straight or at all really.
I saw the Welcome to Forks sign in the distance and decided to land in a nearby tree. I carefully perched on a larger branch and moved into a sitting position.
I panted as I pulled out my cell phone, I know what I need to do. Carlisle won't mind.
He picked up quickly, "It's late you should be sleeping."
"Carlisle, I have a favor to ask you." I panted, still out of breath from all the flying.
"Anything you need, Declan, and it's yours." He answered.
Why does he have to be so ready to help? An answer like that just makes my heart swell, he could've said something else. Fuck, he probably knows how he makes me feel.
"I need a ride," I began, "back to Charlie's. I flew to Port Angeles but I'm too tired to make it all the way back."
I heard movement and the sound of a door opening, "where are you right now?"
"Right by the Welcome to Forks sign." I answered.
Hopefully no one will see him pick me up here. People would get suspicious if they saw a random kid walk out of the woods. Luckily the roads aren't that busy since it's so late.
"Hang tight, I'm on my way. I'll be there within a few minutes." I heard the sound of a car door and an engine starting. "Are you cold? Should I bring a blanket? Are you hungry-"
"I'm fine, I'm fine." I interrupted. "I just need someone to help me get home."
"Alright. I'll be there soon." He hung up swiftly.
I sat patiently on the tree branch for a moment, before flying down to the ground so I could put my wings away. Pulling my wings into my back, I took my shirt from my pocket and put it back on.
I don't want to stand by the sign, that will attract people. Probably the police, then Charlie will know I snuck out.
I leaned my back against a nearby tree and waited. I kept myself busy by sending Adam a quick text, warning him that I'll be calling soon. Maybe if I warn him, he'll already be awake.
I noticed the dark car slowing down and I pushed away from the tree. The Mercedes pulled in next to the sign and stopped.
Walking out of the trees I turned back to look into the forest. It feels like I'm being watched, like I'm being stalked.
Quickly, I climbed into the car to escape the being that might be following me. I huffed as I buckled my seatbelt and situated myself.
"Hello." Carlisle greeted as he pulled the car away.
"Hey," I greeted back, "I'm sorry about this."
He shook his head. "No, don't apologize. I don't mind giving you a ride."
I nodded and bit my tongue to keep from apologizing again. I can't help but to feel guilty, I'm taking him away from his free time. He works long days with many hours and I'm having him waste his time on me.
"Whatever you're thinking," he began. "Stop it."
"What?" I asked.
"I can see that look on your face," he explained. "Whatever you're thinking about, it's not good, so stop it."
"You don't know me." I mumbled defensively, playing with my hands.
His laugh echoed throughout the car, his hand moving from the wheel to pat my knee. I looked at his joyful face and smiled, my sour mood leaving.
"I guess you could be right, but I think I know you pretty well." His laugh faded into soft chuckles.
I turned to look out the window at the passing buildings. "Everything could've been a lie, you can't know."
"I know, you wouldn't do that." Carlisle said confidently. "So, what were you doing in Port Angeles?"
My mind raced trying to find an answer that wasn't the truth. I know that he knows that I feed from people but that doesn't mean he needs to know the details.
"I just enjoy the ocean view, what can I say?" I said, sarcasm clear in my voice.
He glanced at me with a smile, that damned smile. "Okay, you do not need to tell me."
I went back to looking out the window and I thought about the man I fed from. I wonder if he's awake yet, does he have any idea what happened? He was so drunk, maybe he thinks he just fell over and passed out.
Carlisle pulled up next to Charlie's house and cut the engine. I turned to look at him at the sound of the car shutting off. Does he need to talk to me?
"We're having Bella over tomorrow, you should come over too. It might be nice for her to see a familiar face." He smirked.
"You and your excuses," I teased. "If you want me to come over and hang out with you, you just need to ask."
His smiled widened and he rolled his eyes. "I want you to come over." He looked past me at the Charlie's house. "Plus, there's a chance it might thunderstorm tomorrow."
I looked at him confusedly, "so? What about the thunderstorm? Are you scared of thunder, do I need to hold your hand?"
He looked back and me and shook his head with a disbelieving smile. "No, I'm not scared. We can only play baseball if there's thunder."
"Woah woah, baseball? Since when do you guys play baseball?" I questioned.
He clenched his jaw and looked past me at the house again. What's going on in there?
"What's going on?" I asked turning to look at the house. "What's is it? You're freaking me out."
Bright golden eyes looked back at me, "I apologize. It's just Edward, he's in Bella's room with her. I don't know if she consented or not, maybe you should check it out."
"Oh, alright." I agreed and looked back at Bella's window. "I'll make sure to talk to him."
Turning back to Carlisle, I smiled. "Is Jasper gonna pick me up tomorrow?"
His happiness returned, "Just let him know when to come and get you."
His hand reached forwards and ran though my hair once before resting on the back of my neck. I felt my heart rate speed up and I silently cursed myself for being so human.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Declan. Get some rest, you look exhausted." His eyes were soft and warm.
"I'd tell you the same but I don't think that's needed." I responded, my cheeks heating up and his fingers ran through the hair at the nape of my neck.
He pulled his hand away and placed both hands on the steering wheel. I turned and opened the door before stepping out.
"Thanks, I'll see you first thing tomorrow." I spoke before closing the car door quietly.
I ran to the door and unlocked it quickly, eager to escape the cold night air. I let myself in and closed the door as quietly as I could manage.
I walked slowly up the stairs and stopped outside Bella's room for a moment. I really don't want to talk to Edward but if Bella's not okay with him being in here then I'll break his fingers. I put my hand on the door knob and quietly let myself in.
The first thing I saw was Bella asleep on her bed, with her head resting on Edward's chest. She was holding a fist full of his shirt and he was looking at me with wide eyes.
I stepped inside and closed the door behind me. "Well, what's going on here? A slumber party?"
"Declan, I know why you're here, and yes she is aware I am here with her. In fact, she asked me to stay." Edward explained.
I nodded and moved to sit on the rocking chair in the corner of the room. "Still, you've been here before, yaknow before she said it was okay."
Edward rolled his eyes and ended up looking more like Carlisle then I thought was possible. "She already knows about that, and it's not your problem."
I narrowed my eyes, "we're not doing this now."
His whole face softened and he nodded. We both froze as Bella shifted and sighed, I looked at her on his chest and I became overwhelmed with confusion.
"So, first you hate her, then you tell her not to be your friend, then you save her life, then you two hate each other again. Now, you too are some sort of couple?" I asked, my voice showing my confusion clearly.
"You've missed a lot." He answered simply.
I lifted my hands and shrugged, "so that's it? That's all I get?"
He shrugged as much as he could without shaking Bella too much. I stared at him with what must have been a pissed off expression. The way he was looking back at me shows his own annoyance.
What would the other Cullens think about this? Us scowling at each other like two grumpy children, it's immature. I don't even know why there is a tension between us, what went wrong?
"We should try to get along better." I blurted out.
His already narrowed eyes seemed to narrow more. "We get along just fine, I don't understand."
I scoffed quietly, "no we don't, half the time I can't stand you."
He nodded in understanding, the reaction was amusing to me. "I guess you are right, there has been some tension between us."
I lowered my voice even more then the whisper it was already at. "I just don't want to upset Carlisle or Esme. I don't want anyone of your family members feeling odd because you and I have a strained relationship."
"There's seven of us, no one expected that you would get along with all of us. However, I understand what you mean." Edward answered.
"I was pissed at you for many reasons that we don't need to talk about but I understand that our lives are going to be quite blended together now. We need to get along, I need to stop being so angry with you." I explained, my tone losing the edge it had just minutes ago.
Edward nodded again. "I'll try to be kinder to you, I know I'll be seeing more of you. Having a grudge isn't worth it."
"Well, okay then, I'm going to go now. I wasn't invite to this slumber party so I should go." I stood from the rocking chair and cringed as the floor board creaked loudly.
I carefully stepped back to Bella's door, doing my best to avoid other creaky floorboards. I could feel Edward's eyes on me, and I looked back at him once I reached the bedroom door.
I pulled it open as I watched the boy on the bed, I still can't believe they're cuddling. Fucking cuddling.
I turned and went to walk away from Edwards voice stopped me.
"Just so you know," he began, "Carlisle gets just as worked up about you as you do for him. You don't need to be embarrassed."
I looked back at him with widening eyes and nodded softly before shutting Bella's bedroom door as I stepped out into the hall. I quietly, well as quietly as I could, pulled down my attic ladder. I climbed up the ladder and pulled it up behind me.
Pacing my room anxiously, I pulled out my phone and tossed it on my bed as a reminder to call Adam soon. Can I talk to him about crushes? Is that what this is?
Edward's words made me feel reassured but also terrified. What if Carlisle does feel the same way about me as I do for him? What will I do about that? Nothing. What can I do?
There's the age difference, the fake married thing, and so much other stuff that keeps this from being easy. I've never even been in a relationship before and I don't think I'm ready for that anyway.
Is there any chance that Carlisle feels the same though? Edward's words make me think, there could be but what does that mean? It doesn't change anything.
I huffed a heavy breath and sat down harshly on my bed. I hate when this happens, when I keep myself awake with useless thoughts. My anxiety will keep me up all night if I don't find a way to calm down,
I patted around my blankets until I found my cell phone, and rested it on my thigh. I pulled off my shirt and let my wings out. I shook out my loose feathers and watched as they mixed into my nest of blankets.
I decided I would call Adam and only talk to him for a few minutes then I'll force myself into bed. I know once I nuzzle into my warm and carefully arranged blankets with my wings curled around me I'll fall asleep. My exhaustion will over come me and I'll be out like a light.
I spent the first few weeks here scenting and nesting my bed and now it's perfect. The scent smells strongly of my and my wings. All the blankets are soft and are covered in small bits of my feathers which is perfect.
I pulled my legs to my chest and curled my wings around me, I held my cell phone out and opened my text messages. I sent a message to Jasper letting him know that I'll need a ride tomorrow.
Before calling Adam, I need to get this thoughts out of my mind. I need to get Carlisle out of my mind. I can't keep obsessing over him.
What's that saying? If it's meant to be I'll be? Is that what I should be living by?
I don't know why I've let myself get so worked up. Even if Carlisle does feel the same way about me, I'm not going to do anything about it. Nothing would change.
Still, I can't keep all the wonders and questions out of my mind. I just want to know the truth, I'll just ask for the truth. Why not just go straight to the source and ask what's up.
Maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but one day I'll ask for the truth.