My Love, My Drug, My Release

By Xpen7777

99K 3.7K 1K

14-year-old Lorraine's life spun out of control when her step-mother and legal guardian, Linda Eastman, marri... More

Introduction/Warnings
Cast
Chapter 1: Sing to Me
Chapter 2: On My Knees
Chapter 3: Four Chords
May 19th, 1967
Announcement
Chapter 4: A Cheery Welcome
Chapter 5: Dance With Me
September, 1968
September 1968- A Week Later
Early October, 1968
Chapter 7: Anti-Me
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 8: High
Wednesday, October, 1968
Chapter 9: Before the Dreaming
Chapter 10: The Package
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 11: Gallagher
November, 1968
Chapter 12: Detention
Chapter 13: Solo
Late November, 1968
Chapter 14: Dangerous Men
Chapter 15: Too Good to be True
Paul's Perspective
Christmas Eve, 1968
Chapter 16: The Diner
Chapter 17: Pat Down
Chapter 18: The Fool
Christmas, 1968
Chapter 19: Girlfriends
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 20: Desperation
Boxing Day Morning, 1968
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 21: Biting Down
Boxing Day Evening, 1968
Chapter 22: A Lover and a Mother
Chapter 23: Jailbait
New Year's Eve, 1968
Chapter 24: You Are Mine
Chapter 25: Children
Paul's Perspective
Early January, 1969
Chapter 26: Hidden
Early January, 1969- Later That Day
Chapter 27: Three Gifts
Chapter 28: Terrible, Beautiful, Wonderful
Chapter 29: Satan's Mirror
Paul's Perspective
Announcement
Mid-January, 1969
Chapter 30: Mum
Chapter 31: Family Friends
Chapter 32: A Day of Firsts
Paul's Perspective
Late January, 1969
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 33: Forbidden Fruit
January 26th, 1969
Chapter 34: More Than Friends
Chapter 35: Stay
Paul's Perspective
January 30th, 1969
Chapter 36: Waking Up
Chapter 37: Invisible
Early February, 1969
Chapter 38: Rabid Animals
Mid-February, 1969
Chapter 39: Meeting the Micks
Chapter 40: The Plunge
Valentine's Day, 1969
Chapter 41: Family Portrait
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 42: Betrayal
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 43: Cammie, Unfiltered
Late February, 1969
Chapter 44: What Do I Want?
Chapter 45: Pain Killer
Early March 1969
Chapter 46: That's Not Love
Chapter 47: Boundaries
Early March, 1969- Later That Day
Chapter 48: Late Night Calls
Paul's Perspective
March 12, 1969
Chapter 49: Love and Friendship
Paul's Perspective
March 20th, 1969
Chapter 50: The New Worst Day
Early-April, 1969
Chapter 51: The Secret's Out
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 52: Junkie
Late April, 1969
Chapter 53: Break a Leg!
Chapter 54: Jackson
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 55: The Truth
Early May, 1969
Chapter 56: It's Just Me
Chapter 57: Reunion
Chapter 58: There's Still a Debt to Pay
Chapter 59: Constriction
Paul's Perspective
August 28th, 1969
Chapter 60: Extention, Extortion
Chapter 61: Sober
Chapter 62: Brandon
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 63: A Little Girl No More
Chapter 64: The Come-Down
Chapter 65: Secrets
Chapter 66: Loneliness
Chapter 67: I'm a Bad Person
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 68: Grown-Ups
Chapter 69: Some Guy
Paul's Perspective
Chapter 70: Fly Away
Paul's Perspective
Epilogue

Chapter 6: Never Have I Ever

1K 26 4
By Xpen7777

This chapter is short, but there will be another one up soon. There is a lot of stuff I still want to set up before Lo's birthday party. I'm really excited about how things are coming together. Thanks everyone for being patient with me; some of the timeline and how fast or slow things happen isn't as clean as I would want it to be, but I had ideas and plot points change as I was writing. Also, I don't know if 'never have I ever' is only an American game, but I really liked the idea of them playing it. Also-also, I had no idea what to use for the picture, so it's just some random athletic shorts, haha. 

When I arrived to cheer practice, Rosemary and a few other girls were watching a dozen workers trim the grass and reseed parts of the field that needed it.

"What's going on?" I asked, tugging down my shorts even though none of the men were looking at me.

"They do this every so often," the blonde said, tightening her ponytail. "Usually they give us a warning, but I guess since it got warm so quickly, they wanted to cut the grass down before it gets overgrown. It's okay; we can use the opportunity to bond. Once everyone gets here, we'll go to the chemistry lab, they always forget to lock it."

We pushed two long tables together and sat around them, a couple of the smaller fliers (the ones who get thrown in the air) sat on other girls' laps, no one looking that disappointed to be out of the sun for today's practice.

"Alright, we're going to be playing 'never have I ever'" Rose said from the head of the table. "I'm sure everyone remembers how to play; put ten fingers up, everyone will say something they haven't done, and if you have, put a finger down. The last one to put down all their fingers wins."

"I thought you put a finger down if you have done it?" someone said.

"No, we're playing my way. Who wants to start?"

"I do!" a girl with dark hair said excitedly. "Okay, never have I ever had a crush on a teacher."

"Oh my god, everyone's had one," her friend said. And it was true, half the girls put down a finger. I didn't though, and, as the game progressed and I was "winning", I began to suspect that the real win was to lose because of how experienced you were.

When it got to be my turn, I said, "Never have I ever served detention."

No one put their fingers down except one girl, the one with pin straight blonde hair and the flat stomach I'd admired my first day.

"Thelma, you're such a delinquent," Rosemary teased.

The girl shrugged, biting her lower lip. She was sitting at the end of the table, looking bored. She'd taken her hair out of its ponytail and the scalp part of her hair was stiff with whatever products she used up until the indent of where she'd had her elastic. 

"Uh, never have I ever had sex," the brunette next to me said. I remembered her name was Cammie.

Almost no one put down their fingers, everyone giggling to each other. This was one thing I could tell it wouldn't automatically improve your cool factor to admit to. The only three who put fingers down were Thelma and Rosemary. And me.

"Lorraine?" Cammie squeaked. "I would've never guessed in a million years!"

"Who was it?" Rose asked. No one had asked about her and Thelma, so I guess their sex lives were common knowledge.

"Uh..." My stomach felt like it was full of worms and I wished I could be anywhere other than that science lab. Why had I said that? They didn't need to fucking know they I wasn't a virgin; I hardly knew who they were! "It was a friend of my brother's."

"What's his name?"

"What did he look like?"

"Does he go to our school? Do we know him?" Cammie asked.

Thelma had pulled an emery board out of her rucksack, clearly over with the conversation. I wondered if she thought they were being immature, or if she didn't like me. For some reason, I really wanted her to like me.

"He doesn't go to our school. His name is Brandon."


Hope you all enjoyed. Just so I know, would you guys mind telling me if you hate the flashbacks? I've never used them like this in a story before, and I feel like they're necessary and sometimes really enjoyable, they can also cut the tension a bit. If you could leave me your feedback on it, if you like them or not, or any other suggestions, it'd be much appreciated. Thank you!!!

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