After that kiss, everything changed between Olivia and Amanda, but only outside of work. They realized that there may be something between them, that was worth looking for. So, they decided to try going on a date.
To prevent someone from seeing them, and giving them a more private surroundings, they drove separately to New Jersey for dinner.
"Uh, nice dress." Olivia spoke, as Amanda climbed out of her truck, and smoothed the bottom of her red dress. She had gotten a new one just for tonight, and she was glad that Olivia liked it.
"No one knows us here, so you don't have to be shy and awkward." Amanda breathed, as she walked towards the brunette, who was dressed a purple dress that was brand new too. Both had wanted to impress each other, which was something they don't even try to do during work.
Amanda took a few steps towards Olivia, and placed her hands to her waist. She pulled her close and gently kissed her lips. Olivia blushed as Amanda stepped back, and especially when Amanda grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers together.
Together they walked into the restaurant and got a seat, and as soon as they sat down, they felt awkward.
///
For some reason, Amanda didn't know what to say to Olivia, or if she should hold her hand during dinner. Olivia felt the same way. She felt like she was too old to be doing any of this with Amanda, and she also felt like it was too late for her to find someone that she might want to spend the rest of her life with, so when the dinner was over, she didn't tell Amanda anything about going on another date.
"Did you have fun?" Amanda asked, as she and Olivia walked towards their cars. Olivia didn't say anything, and she didn't even nod.
"Liv?" Amanda asked, and Olivia stopped and turned towards her.
"This can't happen anymore." Olivia spoke, as she ran her hand over her arm.
"What do you mean?" Amanda asked, as her heart beat out of her chest.
"I'm your boss. The kiss was nice, amazing more like it, but I can't do this anymore. We can't be an item. We just need to be co-workers." Olivia replied, and Amanda shook her head.
"Come on. I made you change your mind once before. I can help you deal with this. We can be together. Even if you don't want to tell anyone, we can figure this out!" Amanda exclaimed, as she reached for Olivia's hand, but Olivia stepped back and shook her head.
"Sorry, Rollins." She whispered, before walking away.
Amanda stood there on the sidewalk as she watched Olivia walk away. Amanda felt a few tears roll down her cheeks, and she didn't know how Olivia could be so heartless.
But if only she could hear Olivia sob as she got into her car. She hated stepping away from any chance at being happy, but she still didn't believe that she deserved to be happy. She didn't believe that she should have someone in her life that makes her happy.
///
Weeks went by, and everyone noticed a difference in Amanda. They didn't realize that Olivia was hurting too, because she was so good at hiding these feelings because she couldn't risk people knowing that she might've kissed one of her detectives.
"Liv, do you know where Rollins is?" Fin sighed, as he walked into Olivia's office, and went right over to sit on the couch.
"I thought she was sick?" Olivia questioned, but Fin shook his head.
"No. That was her excuse for missing yesterday. She isn't picking up her phone and when Nick went over to check on her, she wasn't home."
"Well shit." Olivia spoke, and Fin nodded. He leaned his head back against the glass, and sighed.
"Wanna go over there? See if she is having woman issues?" Fin questioned, and Olivia took her glasses off, before staring at her friend.
"Don't say that, Fin. Don't be that guy. But yes, I'll go check on her." Olivia spoke, and Fin stood up and left the room without saying another word.
///
Olivia kept knocking on Amanda's door, but she didn't come to the door. Olivia sighed as she stepped back, before quickly kicking in Amanda's door. As she walked in, she stopped slowly and saw how bare the whole apartment was. She felt tears well in her eyes as she started to explore the apartment. She found no signs of anyone ever living here, so she pulled out her phone and found a number she never thought she'd call.
"Hello?" A voice with a a very strong southern accent spoke.
"Hey, uh, it's Olivia Benson, Mrs. Rollins. I was wondering if Amanda was there?"
///
Olivia took the first plane to Atlanta, and she got a cab to the Rollins' house. When she got out, and swung her bag over her shoulder, she was physically shaking. She didn't think that what she said would send Amanda back to Atlanta, because it would take a lot to send her back to the place she hates.
Olivia slowly walked up the path, and went to knock on the door when she reached it, but she felt herself start to chicken out.
What if Amanda threw herself into a relationship just to forget about her?
What if Amanda was done feeling anything towards her?
What if Amanda still wanted to be with her, but would never admit it?
"Olivia!" Amanda's mother, Beth Anne grinned, as she opened the door.
"Hey." Olivia spoke awkwardly, before reaching out to shake her hand, but instead the woman hugged Olivia tightly.
"She's heart broken, but I think if she saw you she'd feel better." Beth Anne spoke, but does she know that the reason behind Amanda's sadness is because of Olivia?
"Can I see her real quick?" Olivia questioned, and before she knew it, she was being led to the basement door.
///
Amanda and Olivia argued for an hour over their feelings, before deciding that what they may have, isn't worth losing what they already have. They had have been friends for so long, that if they forgot about the kisses and the date, they will be able to pick up where they left off.
Hey guys! Thanks for reading! Please vote and comment all of your feedback below. Sorry Rolivia shippers. :/