"Hey, look! She's moving!"
"Do you think she's still dangerous? I can hit her one more time if needed."
"Shh, you wake her, you idiot!"
Familiar voices surrounded you, as you regained your consciousness. Your head was pounding, and you felt like a bulldozer had run over you. In your stomach, you felt nausea that strong, you were afraid you'd throw up at the smallest move. As you carefully opened your eyes, at first your vision was blurry, but as your pupils slowly accommodated to the strong light and your focus came back, you saw a bunch of figures staring down at you.
Seconds later you realised that they were Tony, Bruce, Steve and Nat. You wanted to rub your eyes in disbelief but you couldn't. You tried to move, to sit up, but you were tied up against the bed. Your mind started into a violent race. Why were you tied up? Was this a trick? Were you still kept in prison, and was it another illusion? Your friends may have sensed your immediate panic because Bruce turned to you with an apologetic smile while releasing you:
"Hey, I'm sorry we tied you up. I know it was a bad idea, but we couldn't be sure if you're still dangerous or not. How are you feeling?" his voice was so calming, nothing like in your nightmares and hallucinations. It was different. It was real, though you couldn't believe it at the moment.
"I've been through worse, but ugh... I feel like I'm about to throw up." You closed your eyes again, to stop the room spinning with you.
"No way! Not on my carpet!" Tony yelled immediately. A small, weak smile formed involuntarily on your lips because his reaction was too real. You really were at home, among your friends and it was unbelievable. In the end, you've lost all hope on returning to Earth and the tower. It all seemed so far and away.
"So... you'll probably have a hard time for a few days until all the drugs and chemicals wear off of your body. I think you will recover fast, but I suggest you rest for the following week." Bruce continued talking about your state, but you didn't really care, it was nothing compared to the things back in your cell. Suddenly one certain thought struck in your mind as you looked around the room. Someone was missing.
"Where is he?!" you sat up on the bed with a hasty move. Everyone took a step back, giving you worried looks. Like they were afraid of you would attack them at any moment. You noticed the tension in the air and the uncertainty on their faces. It was a painful bullet in the heart. They brought you home, took care of your injuries, yet still, they couldn't trust you. How could they after all that happened?
"Oh, I see... You're afraid of me... Look, I'm so sorry for everything I did. I tried to hurt, and even kill you. And I totally understand if you don't trust me anymore, but I need to see him. I don't care if you tie me up, or point guns at me, but please tell me where is he!" you gave them a begging look, but your friends avoided eye contact. You saw guilt and sorrow on their faces like they were hiding something from you.
You had a bad feeling telling you that something happened to Loki. Otherwise, he would be with the others, watching over you. The thought of him being hurt or injured filled your heart with despair. You only hoped it wasn't serious, and most importantly, it wasn't you. You desperately tried to gather your memories from the battle, but your mind was too foggy, and you couldn't put the pieces together.
"Please... Tell me, it wasn't me. Or at least that he's okay," you looked at them while tears filled your eyes. The sorrow on their faces and the silence were killing you and were too much to handle. After a few seconds Bruce finally lifted his gaze from his feet and looked you in the eye:
"So, you don't remember anything," he let out a big, painful sigh. "You cut into his side and he lost lots of blood. He's resting in his room, I think Thor's watching over him. You can see him if you want to."
Without wasting any more words, you climbed off the bed and headed to the door. You saw Steve moving too, he probably wanted to escort you to Loki's room.
"You don't need to babysit me, I won't burn down anything I promise," you gave him and your friends a cold, sarcastic look. You wanted them to feel, you were huffish about their lack of trust.
"You'd better not to! Otherwise, you'll pay for the renovations!" you heard Tony complaining as the door shut closed behind Steve and you.
As you walked down the corridor you decided to pretend like he wasn't there, but you couldn't manage it for so long. You were still too exhausted and weak, and your knees gave in. As you were about to fall, he caught you and took you in his arms bride style. At first, you protested, wanted to walk on your own, but finally, you gave in with a sigh.
"We don't blame you for anything, you know. You are still our friend, and we are trying to help you," he turned to you with a small smile.
"Oh really? I couldn't really feel it back in the lab. I only saw that you're still afraid me, and you don't trust me. I understand why, but it hurts." You tried to hide your face from him, but it was useless. He knew you too well and knew exactly what you've been thinking.
"I'm sorry, we behaved stupid back there. Of course, we trust you, but this situation... this whole thing was hard for us too. A day ago we were fighting with an army against you... but we still love you as we used to do. Nothing changed. Just give them some time," he gave you a reassuring smile, and you hugged him tightly.
Until this point, you haven't realised how good it was to have your best friend back, and his support meant you a lot. Finally, you weren't alone with your pain and guilt. You had someone to lean on. Looking into his baby blue eyes you believed every word he said.
As you reached Loki's door, Steve put you down, and your relief faded away. A knot formed in your stomach and your nausea came back again. Small beads of sweat formed on your palms, you were so nervous to step in. You were afraid of seeing what you have done to your love. That maybe he won't forgive you like the others. You couldn't lose him again. You took a deep breath and opened the door. Unlike Bruce said, Thor wasn't in the room, and you were a bit happy about it. You wanted to talk with Loki first, then face his brother. The demigod was peacefully sleeping in his bed. His pale, white chest was bare, and his torso was wrapped in a thick layer of gauze. You felt a ball in your throat as you stared at the burn marks and bruises on his white skin. It was all you...
You quietly walked up to the bed, and carefully snuggled up to his warm body. You buried your face into his neck and soft hair and wrapped your arm around him. You've been longing for this for too long. You breathed in his scent you missed so much and listened to his heart beating. If you closed your eyes, it was like nothing has changed at all. Like you haven't left for a single day. You were home by his side again. As you were thinking all about this, sleep slowly found you, and for the first time, you didn't have nightmares.
A few hours later Loki's movement roused you from your nap. He was awake and were stroking your face and arm. His soft touch made you tingle. Oh, how you missed these little things. You opened your eyes and took in every inch of his beautiful face as your fingertips gently wandered all over it. His perfect, high cheekbones, his thin lips, and those beautiful, mesmerising blue eyes.
"I missed you so much, my love," he whispered to you with a soft smile on his lips. Instead of answering you pulled him into a long, loving kiss. You tried to fill every single kiss you couldn't share into this one as you melted into each other's arms. Your fingers tangled into his long, black hair, while his hands wandered around wherever they felt like. Your bodies were pressed together, your legs tangled. This was one of the happiest moments in your life.
"I missed you too," you whispered when your lips finally parted. You felt like you were above the clouds, but these turned into sad, dark ones quick enough as you looked into his eyes again. There was something sad deep inside those blue orbs he didn't want to show you. He avoided eye contact, and though he was still holding you tight, he slightly turned his face away as his smile started to fade.
"Loki... I'm so sorry. I know I can't turn time back, and can't make your wounds disappear, but can you ever forgive me? I feel terrible for what I did to you... I love you so much, I don't want to lose you," you felt tears filling your eyes as he turned away.
How could that beautiful moment crash and fade away this fast? You cupped his face into your palms and forced him to look at you. Tears were forming in his sad, blue eyes too and he couldn't stand your searching gaze. You saw down to his soul, you saw how broken he was. You thought you did this to him, and you felt like a monster for hurting this much the most important person in your life. Even now you were yourself again, this scar would stay forever...
"You are the one who should forgive me. I- I did something horrible, and no matter how hard I wish to erase it, I can't. I love you more than anything in my life and..." he started to mumble with words, voice shaking. The room started to spin around you, and you felt your sickness coming back again. What could he possibly talk about? What was this about? You had a very bad feeling in the deep of your mind, but you weren't ready for what came next.
"Loki, I don't understand. What happened? You can talk to me, love. I will always love you, no matter what." You tried to comfort him and make it easier for him to tell you what he wanted.
"You know there was this ball in Asgard... and I was so wasted and out of my mind, I couldn't think clearly.. and so... I..." He took a deep breath and turned his head away. He couldn't stand your gaze anymore. It was too much. "I slept with another woman."
His words were echoing in your head for a few seconds. It left you speechless. You felt another bullet going right through your heart. He cheated on you. For all this time you were suffering in your cell, he was the only thing that kept you alive, meanwhile, in Asgard, he bedded some maidens or god only knew who. You couldn't stay in his arms anymore, you needed some air. Your head was spinning, and you felt again like vomiting. You crawled to the farthest side of the bed, away from him and curled up.
"(Y/n), please listen to me... I love you! That was just a mistake I'll hate myself for the rest of my life. I want to be with you, and only you. Please... forgive me," he begged you and tried to hug you from behind, but you shook him off.
"Don't even try, your silver tongue won't persuade me now. I went through hell every goddamn day. I was thinking about you and waiting for you in every second. You betrayed me. I- I just can't right now. I need some air." You climbed out of the bed and stumbled to the door.
Once you were outside of the room, you sank down to the floor as hot tears were flowing down your cheeks...