Adam and Lawrence were suited up and ready to go to the show. Adam felt like throwing up again, but tried to pay attention to the smooth texture of the limousine's leather seats under his fingertips. He had to hide his anxiety for Lawrence and his friends. Not that his friends were paying much attention to him anyway. They were too busy acting like children.
Ron and David made sure that they sat on separate ends on the limo. Ron was being grumpy ever since breakfast, and basically sat around with his arms crossed, not talking. David knew Ron's ego was too big, so he decided to be stubborn too.
Lawrence was sitting across from Adam and admiring him. "What?" Adam laughed at Lawrence when he caught him staring from the other side of the limo.
"I've just—never seen you in a suit before," Lawrence gestured. "I didn't expect you to look so hot in one."
Adam wriggled uncomfortably in the clothing. "I don't feel hot. This thing's uncomfortable as balls," he whined.
"Oh, come on, Adam. Don't be such a baby, it's just for a few more hours."
"Easy enough for you to say. You dress like you have a stick up your ass almost every day! And quite frankly, I don't know how you do it," Adam tugged at his collar.
"It's called professionalism—"
"Ladies!" Zachary interjected from a few seats away. "Whatever bunch your panties are in has to come undone now. You're going to be live on the telly in a few hours and I'm not paying you to bicker like an old married couple."
Adam took a deep breath. He still couldn't figure out how to handle the emotions stirring inside of him. He wasn't prepared to talk about what happened. He wasn't prepared to relive it.
"Mate? You alright?" Zachary raised a cautious brow at Adam.
Adam looked up from his trance, embarrassed. He needed to stop getting lost in his thoughts. "Yeah, yeah I'm good," he waved his hand.
"Great," Zachary smiled as the vehicle stopped next to a large studio. "Cause we're here!"
***
Adam, Lawrence, David, and Ron were led by Zachary to a large room that looked like it was made for conferences. A wide table sat in the middle surrounded with chairs, and on it were platters of food and refreshments.
"So this is where the four of you will be waiting," Zachary gestured to the room. "I'll be on stage doing my own preparations, and one of my assistants will bring you out when it's time. You two will stay backstage," Zachary eyed Ron and David.
The two sneered at each other with hatred, still acting like children.
"Well," Zachary flashed his signature cocky smile before leaving, "see you out there soon, boys!"
The door was shut behind him and the room was void of all sound. The silence was defeating, so Larry broke it. "Isn't this exciting guys? We're about to be on tv!" he turned to Adam and shook his arm encouragingly with a smile.
His smile died as soon as he saw Adam's face. The stiffness in his jaw as he stared down at the table indicated that he was trying his hardest not to cry. Anyone who didn't know Adam well enough wouldn't be able to tell. But Lawrence could.
Lawrence took one look at Ron and David and they already knew what to do. "Hey, you wanna go check out the backstage?" Ron asked David, finally breaking their quiet game.
"Yeah, sure." David played along, getting up with Ron to leave the two of them alone.
When the door shut once again, the silence was even stronger than before. Adam still stayed in the same position, unmoving as Lawrence dipped his head down, trying to look Adam in the eyes.
He saw vacancy.
"Adam?" Lawrence placed his hand on Adam's shoulder and squeezed.
The emptiness in his eyes quickly transformed into a hurricane at the man's voice whispering his name. A storm of hurt violently swirled through Adam's pupils and he threw his face in his hands to attempt at hiding his pain from his lover. He could conceal the look in his eyes but he couldn't stop the sob that escaped his mouth.
Lawrence gently tore Adam's hands away from his face. Gripping his wrists and staring into his eyes, he spoke urgently. "What is it, Adam? I can't help you if I don't know."
Adam stood up, escaping Lawrence's light hold on him, and turned around. Closing his eyes and placing a hand on his forehead, he choked, "I don't think I can do it, Lawrence. The show, I mean."
"W-what?" Lawrence stammered. Walking up to Adam, he turned him around to face him. "Why? We talked about it, I thought we agreed on everything?"
Adam was embarrassed and full of guilt. He didn't want to tell Lawrence how he'd been feeling about the show today because it was true; he had agreed to everything, and it wasn't fair to Lawrence. He was excited and looking forward to it, and Adam was ruining everything with his stupid emotions as usual.
"I know, I know," Adam cried. "But that was before everything was so — real." Adam's jaw was clenched as he tried to keep anger from boiling out of him. "This whole trip has been fun and games until I realized what's really going on here."
Lawrence looked down at the ground, unable to look Adam in the eyes. He knew what Adam was getting at, and it hurt.
"We're getting commercialized, Lawrence. We're being used." Adam's breathing was heavy. "This is all a fucking business tactic. You really think people give a shit about our story?"
Lawrence moved to place his hand on Adam's shoulder, but he swatted it away.
Adam's voice was raising an octave with every word, "That's another thing, Lawrence. Our story." Adam's eyes glossed over as his voice began to break. "We have to sit out there, and relive it all. You cut off your fucking foot, and shot me, and you're gonna have to relive that! Has that registered for you?" Adam pointed to his temples as he seethed.
Seeing Adam like this hurt Lawrence. He knew the kid was angry, but he loved him enough to understand that this outburst was not toward him, but merely a product of his bottled up emotions and worry.
Lawrence forced Adam into a strong hug and immediately felt the anger dissipate into sadness as Adam's body grew slack in his arms.
"I'm sorry, Lawrence." Adam cried into the crook of his neck.
Lawrence placed his hand on the back of Adam's head and shushed him. "It's okay. I understand."
After staying like that in silence for a while, they pulled back and Adam was surprised to see Lawrence was crying.
"You're right, Adam." Lawrence sniffled. Adam crinkled his brow and Lawrence continued, "We are being used, and Zachary doesn't care about our story. But that doesn't mean the audience and the world won't!" Lawrence pleaded with Adam. "They're human and aren't making money off of us. Don't you think it's important to talk about? I mean, so many families have been touched by this topic, and we're the only ones connected to it who are alive."
Lawrence squeezed Adam's shoulder's looking for a sign of agreement. "That has to mean something, Adam. We're important in a way, and we have to use that to make something good happen." Lawrence tried to hold back more tears, "We'll have to relive our trauma, I understand that. But, I just have a feeling we have to do this, Adam."
Adam stared at Lawrence sadly.
"If you really don't want to, we don't have to," Lawrence stated. "But I think we need to."
There it was. Again.
Lawrence giving in to Adam.
Adam knew Lawrence would drop everything that he wanted for him. He always did.
Suddenly, Adam was questioning his logic and whether or not he should even be crying like a baby over this. He suddenly regretted even telling Lawrence he didn't want to do the segment.
Nodding quickly, Adam spoke but his voice came out weak, "You're right, Lawrence."
"Are you sure?" Lawrence checked. "Because if not—"
"Yes," Adam cut Lawrence off before he could change his mind. "You're right, we have to do this."
Lawrence smiled, "I love you so much." He ran his hand through Adam's hair.
"I love you too," Adam smiled halfheartedly.
Lawrence pulled Adam in for a kiss, but after a few seconds, the sound of someone dramatically clearing their throat had them turning towards the door in embarrassment.
A woman stood in the doorway holding up two headsets. "I'm here to set up your guys' mics," she grumbled.
"Oh, sorry," Lawrence apologized as they both sat down at the table.
As the woman adjusted Lawrence's headset, trying to position it perfectly, Adam questioned her. "So you work for Zachary?"
"Yes," she sighed impatiently.
"Do you enjoy it? What's he like?"
Lawrence shot Adam a glare as he knew Adam was fishing for information. It annoyed Lawrence that Adam fed into his suspicion even after their conversation.
"Look," the lady droned. "If you're asking me to shit-talk my boss? — I'm not that dumb. Sorry."
Adam could tell she had a lot to say about him, but couldn't. Before he could ask anymore questions, she had moved on to Adam's mic and he had to stay still.
She had finished and led them out to the stage. Zachary was sitting behind a desk and in front of it was one medium-sized couch that Adam and Lawrence shared. They made a point to sit shoulder to shoulder.
Adam smiled genuinely for the first time that night and pointed, "Look Lawrence! My photo, he's actually going to showcase it!"
Lawrence looked to where Adam's finger was aiming and sure enough there they were. The picture of their passionate kiss was displayed on an isle next to the couch.
"That's great, Adam!" Lawrence returned a smile. "See, this isn't going to be so bad," he whispered before placing a peck on Adam's forehead.
"No PDA on the stage please," a British accent towered over them jokingly.
Looking up, Lawrence saw Zachary laughing. He smiled up at him, but Adam on the other hand kept his face stone cold.
"Well it was just a joke mate," Zachary looked at Adam. "Lighten up, kid."
"We're on in 30!" a producer yelled from the back.
Zachary walked away back to his desk and Lawrence whispered angrily at Adam. "Look, I understand why you're mad, but you have to keep it together. We're about to be on live tv. There's no take-backs if you let your impulses get the best of you."
Adam took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Lawrence. It's fine though. I'm good."
Lawrence looked at him wearily.
"Trust me," Adam convinced him.
"Ten, nine," the producer was counting down from backstage.
Adam stretched as he took deep breaths, trying to calm down.
It's only a half-hour, Adam said to himself.
"Three, two—" the man backstage pointed at Zachary on one, indicating they were rolling.
"Hello, and welcome back to another segment of Late Night With Zachary Swindler." His British accent and hand gestures were making Adam want to throw up. Or punch him in the face. Or both.
"Tonight we're going to be talking about one of the hottest topics as of recently—a worldwide trend at that—the Jigsaw killer. If you don't know who that is, pull your head out of the ground and watch the news because this is big stuff here!"
Zachary turned softer, "Tonight, I have with me two of the bravest men on the planet, right here on my couch. Lawrence Gordon, and Adam Faulkner-Stanheight," he pointed over to the couch.
Adam and Lawrence smiled sheepishly as they waved at the camera.
"They are two out of the only three people in the world to survive this serial killer, and they are here tonight to share their heart touching story."
Zachary shifted in his seat to face the two of them more. "So, my first question is something I and a lot of other people are wondering: after surviving such a trauma, most people would struggle in day to day life. How have you two been handling this? I'd like to go to Adam first because you seem to be very successful at the moment with your photography and such."
Adam was almost blushing at the word successful. His heart rate slowed as a sort of calm enveloped him; the first question wasn't awful. He could survive this.
"Yeah," Adam scratched the back of his head nervously. "I just got into my first gallery actually with that photo," Adam pointed at the isle nearby. "I mean, days are hard to get through at certain points, but when you're focusing on work it's easier to ignore."
"I have to agree with Adam," Lawrence piggy backed to answer his turn. "When I was finally able to get back into work at the hospital, it was easier to cope."
"Right," Zachary nodded solemnly, but his fake sympathy only lasted for a second until he pointed at the photo. "So about that photo?" he smiled. "It's clear you both have a—thing for each other." He chose his words carefully. "But we all know the whole audience and world is wondering: is it serious?"
Adam and Lawrence both felt their privacy was being slightly invaded, but they both silently agreed that the question was better than talking about sawing a foot off or facing death.
"Yes, it is," Lawrence confirmed calmly.
Zachary looked to Adam, "Did this start before or after your guys' game? As I understand, you knew of each other beforehand."
"He became my roommate after the game, but my boyfriend a few months later." Adam avoided the second part of the question. He didn't want the whole world to know he was a rat who took pictures of Larry and invaded his privacy.
"That is so sweet," Zachary cooed. "Okay, moving on to a new topic."
Adam's heart dropped. Lawrence's too. They weren't ready.
"My outside sources reveal that you both lost the game. Is that correct?"
Adam's jaw was stiff. "Yeah."
"How did you manage to get out alive then?"
Adam looked to Lawrence, silently suggesting he answer the question. It was him who escaped after all.
"Well," Lawrence began, looking at the floor. "We were both in chains."
Adam could see the pain in Lawrence's face as he struggled to retell the story. He wanted to tell Zachary to go fuck himself and stop the show. But he stayed frozen.
"I had to cut my foot off—" Lawrence earned a collective gasp from the audience before he could continue. "I somehow managed to make it to the edge of the road and a very nice man helped me to the hospital. We're good friends now."
"And what about Adam?" Zachary asked.
"I couldn't leave the hospital, so my best friend and the man who saved me went back for him." Lawrence avoided using names. He didn't want his friends to lose their dignity too.
"That must have been such a relief to you Adam, wasn't it?" Zachary turned to him.
"It was," Adam nodded. "But it wasn't a shock. He promised he would come back for me," he turned to Lawrence with steamy eyes. "I knew he meant it."
Lawrence slipped his hand into Adam's which sent the audience into a cacophony of "awe"s.
This moment felt warm. Safe. Feelings that weren't going to last very long. The interview was just getting started.
"Now, it's widely known that Jigsaw doesn't put just anyone in these games," Zachary inquired. "He uses them as a sort of lesson towards people that have done bad things. Out of curiosity, what landed you two in there?"
Adam squeezed Lawrence's hand tighter. Sweat built up between their palms.
"I don't know how comfortable I am with answering that question," Lawrence politely declined.
"Oh, come on, mate!" Zachary pushed him. He was smiling, but behind that smile, Lawrence could see the threats that said I have the power to end you. "We all wanna know!"
"I may have been a bit—unfaithful—to someone."
"Ahhh, you pulled the old hornswoggle on your wife, did you now?"
Lawrence's face turned red.
"And you?" Zachary looked to Adam.
"I was a private investigator. I made my money off of invading people's privacy. It was just my job, but I guess Jigsaw didn't like that very much." Adam had a hint of anger in his voice. "I think the fact I was investigating Larry had something to do with it too," he laughed bitterly.
"Oh, the man stalks the other, then they both fall in love. What a cliché," Zachary swooned.
Adam suddenly didn't feel safe anymore. He felt prodded and poked at by Zachary. Lawrence was feeling uneasy too. Ever since revealing he only had one foot, he felt that his sense of security was gone.
The two of them did not know what to expect anymore for questions, as they were just getting worse. But they kept complying. They had no choice at this point.
"A lot of people also say that he is trying to make people appreciate their lives more. Do you think he achieves that goal?"
"No." Adam blurted out just barely after the question was asked. His jaw was tight as he continued, "Not at all. It makes life worse. After seeing what Lawrence and I saw, people would have even less of a desire to live. He may think he's helping people, but he's not. Anyone who thinks what he was doing was okay, is wrong."
"I can see that got you very passionate, Adam."
"Well yeah," he scoffed. "I've been though it. He's no savior, I can tell you that."
"Some would disagree," Zachary squinted.
Adam was getting angrier.
Looking away from Adam and to the camera, he spoke. "As I said earlier, there are three people who have survived Jigsaw's games. But only two remain alive. The last one was a girl named Amanda Young. She said that Jigsaw "helped" her. She actually became an accomplice and contributed to his beliefs."
After explaining, he turned back to Adam. "She is no longer with us though, because you killed her, am I right?"
Adam's heartbeat was the only thing he could hear in that moment. He didn't understand where he got this information. Or why he found it appropriate to bring up.
Adam's jaw dropped and he froze as he realized what was happening.
He remembered the night they were on the news. Detective John Williams had outed Adam and Lawrence without permission, and then Zachary bumped into them at his photography job just a week later.
That was no coincidence.
Adam had calculated that Zachary was with detective John Williams from the start. He must have paid the detective to give him inside information for his show. Adam was suddenly filled with fire. His heart threatened to explode.
How could we have been so stupid! Adam scolded himself.
Zachary continued to ramble. "Granted, she was going to re-capture you, so it was self defense. Right?"
Adam's stomach started to roll with nausea. He was no longer in the studio, but back in the alleyway. Coated in blood. All he could see was the red liquid pouring over him. All he could feel was the guilt of the lives he's taken.
Zachary's voice brought him back, "These aren't rumors, right? Maybe you could clear it up for—"
"Stop!" Adam screeched, standing up suddenly.
The room fell silent as Adam stood in the middle of the stage, his chest rising and falling quickly as he squeezed his fists tight.
Zachary laughed nervously, "I think now is a good time for a commercial break."
A bell rang and a man from the back shouted, "And we're off the air!"
"The hall please, gentleman?" Zachary's voice was darker than it'd ever been. If it wasn't for the anger and adrenaline coursing through Adam's veins, he would have been frightened.
Upon reaching the hallway, Zachary spoke with annoyance, "You boys aren't being very cooperative. I brought you here to answer my questions not to—"
Adam interrupted, unleashing his fury. "I know about detective John Williams!" he yelled, moving closer to Zachary.
"I don't know what you're talking abou—"
"Stop lying!" Adam pushed him and he bumped into the wall. "I know you were watching us on the news that night, and you've been working with him ever since!"
Lawrence stepped in between the two and looked at Adam in confusion. "Adam, what's going on?"
"This prick double-crossed us!" he pointed at Zachary. "He paid off the detective for private information on us!"
Lawrence turned to Zachary in realization. "Is that true?"
Zachary was holding his hands up like a child. He was intimidated by Lawrence's scowl. "I'm sorry! I needed material for my sh—"
He was cut off by Lawrence's fist connecting with his face. "You bastard!" Lawrence bellowed before pinning him against the wall. "What the hell do you think you're doing? You think you can just buy us?"
He leaned in closer, wanting to throw another punch. But before Lawrence could act again, he was getting pried off of Zachary by two bigger men.
Body guards.
He looked to the side to see Adam was being held by two others.
Zachary dramatically wiped the blood from his nose before taking a deep breath and speaking condescendingly. "Well, the show is clearly off now."
Zachary looked to his body guards and instructed them, "Call them a cab and get them out of here." He waved his hand down the hall. "Their stupid friends backstage too."
He turned to walk away but Lawrence yelled to him, "What about our money?"
Zachary turned back and walked up to Lawrence's face, whispering evilly. "I was paying you for the show, and you didn't deliver. You get nothing. Sorry mate."
He pulled out his phone and called his assistant right in front of everyone. "Hey, Rachel."
Pause.
"Yes, the show is over for tonight."
Pause.
"I don't know, just tell them we've got technical difficulties! Anyway, I need four plane tickets to New York ASAP, and cancel the rest of the nights on my Spring's Vacation reservation. We won't be needing the rooms anymore." He made eye contact with Lawrence and Adam on the last words to rub salt in the wound.
"Yes, Rachel. I need the plane tickets tonight. Now. Just bring them to my studio. Thank you." He hung up and sneered at Adam and Lawrence. "You men made a big mistake tonight."
With that, he told his body guards to bring everyone to the conference room, and then walked away, disappearing down the hallway.
***
"This is such bullshit," David stressed for about the tenth time on their cab ride to the airport.
"Well, that's what we get for trusting a guy who's last name is Swindler," Adam threw his hands out of his lap in annoyance.
"How could we have been so stupid?" Lawrence shook his head at himself. "The man is from California, how else would he have found us in that studio?"
Adam ran his had through his hair, as he had been beating himself up for the same exact thing.
Ron spoke up, his voice calming, "Well, what's done is done, and we can't do anything about it now. Criticizing and blaming yourself won't reverse it. We're all going home together and that's what counts."
"He's right," David sighed. "We're all lucky enough to have each other. After everything we've been through."
David and Ron looked at each other with sincerity in their eyes. Ron grabbed David's hand and rested his head on his shoulder. Adam and Lawrence admired their friends and the way they were able to comfort everyone. The four of them really did make the best team, and they didn't need Zachary.
The romance going on between their two friends rubbed off on Adam and he planted a kiss on Lawrence's cheek. "I love you."
Lawrence looked sad.
"Hey, you okay? Look, I'm really sorry about the show," Adam muttered.
"No, that's exactly it," Lawrence looked down at him apologetically. "You had a bad feeling about the whole thing and we did it anyway because I wanted to, and this whole thing could have been avoided if I just—"
Adam put his hand over Larry's mouth. "Shut up. You gave me a choice and I decided yes. This is nobody's fault but his. Got it?"
Lawrence nodded and Adam let his mouth free.
The cab was soon stopped at the airport, and when Lawrence went to pay, the woman driving put up her hand, denying the money. "I'm no eavesdropper, but from what I heard back there, you guys could use a break."
"Are you sure?" Lawrence asked gratefully.
She nodded with a sad smile. "I'm sure."
"Thank you so much," Lawrence breathed in disbelief. After everything that happened that night, he forgot that kindness existed in the world.
"You take care, guys," the nice woman said to the four of them before driving away.
Upon entering the airport, Adam and Lawrence were filled with dread. They were just on live TV, and it went to shit. God only knows how many people saw it.
Ron could see the worry on their faces. "Hey, you guy's are gonna be fine. Okay?"
Adam sighed, "Thanks for the words of encouragement Ron, but I'm still kinda bugging out."
"How about you sit down," Ron grabbed Adam's arm and led him to a chair. Lawrence sat down next to Adam.
Pulling out his ticket, Ron squinted down at it and then checked his watch. "Our flight's not until one. It's only eleven. David and I are gonna head down to the food court and get a quick bite to eat and kill time. You guys should stay here and rest," he advised Adam and Lawrence.
"Alright," Lawrence nodded in agreement. "You two have fun."
Ron and David walked hand in hand down the airport which caused Adam and Lawrence to smile to themselves.
Lawrence was growing more tired by the second, and before he knew it, he had drifted off in his chair.
***
Lawrence was jolted awake by a pair of hands on him. For a second, his PTSD was triggered and he thought he was being kidnapped again.
It was only a second later that he remembered Jigsaw was in jail, and he was safe.
Catching his breath, he rubbed his eyes and blinked away his hazy vision. Once he could see clearly, he found a pale-faced Ron standing above him with an even paler David standing behind Ron.
He looked to his side to find Adam gone.
He looked back to Ron who was practically hyperventilating. Lawrence sat up and creased his brow at his panicked friends. "Guys?" he asked cautiously. "What's wrong?"
Ron's throat closed as he spoke quickly, "Lawrence—it's Adam."