Authors Note: Hey Guys, it's Author Kun here :)) Sorry for the late update, I was kinda busy revising earlier chapters and finishing the last parts of my projects before entering summer break. Please enjoy the story though, reviews and comments are really appreciated :D.
Also, we got a new cover :D made by imperfectlynerdy , check her stories if you have the time :3
*Splat*
Kazuma continues to pound as rice continues to fly towards his NEETY face
'Why is this so god damn hard?!'
Kazuma has been up all night trying to make mochi, basically a Japanese Rice Cake, he has eaten the dish lots of times back at home, however, that doesn't mean he's good at making it.
"Andddd, there!"
A dozen of green and white blobs of rice are seen on he table
Kazuma's hard work had finally paid off, although it was not pretty, he had made mochi. Now he just needed a certain useless goddess to eat it.
*SMASH* a load of glass bottles had just broken in the background
'Right on cue'
Aqua proceeds to call out a name heard wayy to much in the household.
"Kazzzummmmaaaaaa!!!!"
~a minute later~
*Vrrooooommmmm*
"Why do you keep fucking doing this every single morning"
Kazuma was currently cleaning the broken pieces of glass from the floor with a purple magic vacuum he got from Wiz's shop, purple streaks of light exit the vacuum as the shards disappear
"It's not my fault! I just woke up and the bottle fell!"
Aqua started to stomp on the ground, seeming to forget about the shards of glass on the floor.
"Owwww, owwwww"
Kazuma could only mutter
"What an idiot"
After Kazuma had finished cleaning Aqua's mess, they head towards the living room
"It hurrtttsss"
Aqua was still groaning about the glass in her feet
"Just use heal on it, that's the one thing you're good for, right you useless goddess?"
Aqua stomped on Kazuma's foot as hard as she could
"Hey! I am good for other things too!"
Kazuma scoffed at that, holding in a laugh
"Like?"
Aqua jumped a bit at the question
"Uuuuu, like, uuu, Reviving! Aha! I've revived you multiple times already! You should praise my usefulness!"
Kazuma raised an eyebrow
"Isn't that the same as healing?"
Aqua responded almost immediately
"Nooooo! They're completely-mphmmnnmpph"
Aqua was kindly cut off by Kazuma's hand
"Hai, hai, sure, whatever, let's just eat the desert I made"
Aqua lit up and glowed bright
"Desert!?"
"Yeah, I told you I would make it to help your 'liquor' problem"
Aqua started running around
"Wher- Owwwwwww"
She forgot AGAIN, about the glass on her feet
"Let me get it first, you useless idiot"
As Kazuma walked to the kitchen, small mumbled "heals" could be heard in the background
"I'm back you useless godd-"
Aqua is running around frantically around the living room
"Is your foot okay n-"
"OI YOU STUPID NEET! WHERES MY WINNNNNEEEEEEE!?"
Aqua held Kazuma in a choke hold attempting to bring him into the ground, but ultimately failing.
Kazuma was unable to get his neck out of Aqua's hold leaving him in an uncomfortable position, unfortunately, it was about to get more uncomfortable
"I hid it"
Aqua's hold tightened to its max
"Ughhh-"
Aqua proceeded to scream into Kazuma's ears
"You WHAT!?!"
Kazuma barely escapes Aqua's grasp and lands himself a good distance away
"It's to help with your liquor problem you retarded idiot"
Aqua looked at Kazuma and pouted
"But that was my expensive wineee~"
Tears started to form on her eyes
"It's not working"
Aqua puffed her face, and the tears stopped
"Hmph!"
"Besides I was the one who PAID for the EXPENSIVE liquor"
Aqua stayed silent until she noticed what Kazuma was holding
"What is that?"
"It's mochi"
"For me?"
"For you, remember? we just talked about this earlier"
Aqua took the plate from Kazuma's hands and started to eat the "mochi"
Aqua proceeded to talk with the mochi in her mouth
"It's hwarrd"
"Oi! It was hard to make you ungrateful goddess, if you don't like it, then don't eat it!"
Kazuma tries to grab the plate off of Aqua, but she holds it tight
Aqua swallows
"No! I'm still going to eat it, stupid NEET who can't cook"
Kazuma pushes Aqua and pulls on the plate
"Give it back you idiot!l
"No!"
Kazuma starts chasing Aqua around the living room
"You're going to get fatttt you stupid idiot!"
Aqua picks up her pace
"I whwilll nwaattt!" (I will not)
The two ran in circles, Aqua still eating while Kazuma chases her.
After a while, the two had calmed down and Aqua had eaten everything.
Kazuma started to walk around the room
"Oi! You left crumbs everywhere"
Aqua proceeded to glue herself to the sofa and stuck her tongue out , "Your the one who started chasing me"
"Hahhh" Kazuma sighed as he walked across the room to get a certain purple vacuum cleaner
Aqua unglued herself from her seat and walked towards Kazuma, "Was that the thing you used this morning?"
Kazuma stood up and proceeded to turn the thing on, "Yeah?"
Aqua started to poke the purple orb in the middle
"Oi, don't touch that"
Aqua kept on poking the orb, "It'll be fine"
*shatter*
"Ah-" they both mutter in unison
Just a few moments later in the streets of Axel....
"Why am I coming with you?" Aqua was rather impatient and didn't seem to want to follow Kazuma
Kazuma and Aqua were walking down Axel, looking for a certain shop, Aqua in her usual attire, while Kazuma is wearing white coloured casual clothes with a green cape like jacket for style.... and effect.
"Because you fucking broke it you useless idiot"
"Uuuuuuuu" Aqua pouted, again
After walking for a while, they come across a small shop filled with magic items
"Oh, we're here" Kazuma opens the door and Aqua is going crazy all of a sudden, I wonder why?
Kazuma waved "Hi Wiz!"
Oh, that's why.
For some reason, probably because she is a general of the demon king, albeit retired. Aqua would always try to hurt Wiz whenever we visited.
"Aquaaaa-Saamaaaa I cant touch holyyy waterrr"
Aqua can be seen attempting to spray holy, purified, exorcist, water on Wiz
Poor Wiz....
Kazuma walks up behind Aqua and grabs her by the shoulder, "Oi Aqua, that's not what we're here for, remember?"
Kazuma prys Aqua off of Wiz
Wiz's face turned pale as she hugged the wall out of what Kazuma could only guess was fear "Uuu, Aqua-sama is scary"
'Aqua-sama? Ehh, whatever, I don't wanna know how Aqua got Wiz to call her that, that's not what I'm here for anyway.'
"Oi Wiz" Kazuma waves out
Wiz jumps a little hitting her head on the shelf above "Owww"
'As clumsy as ever'
Kazuma whips out a magic vacuum cleaner with a broken orb in the middle.
"Got any more of these?"
"H-huh? Yeah there's more in the back, I'll go get them"
Wiz tries to fit through the gap in the counter.
"Uuuu"
'Ahh, so cute, why cant she be in my party' Kazuma phased out for a bit.
*SMACK*
"Oi what was that for!?"
"You were thinking of something perverted"
A door could be heard from the back of the shop.
"I got it!" Wiz was running in holding a purple vacuum cleaner above her head.
Aqua was growling at the former demon king general.
"Hey Kazuma, what can that magic vacuum suck?"
Kazuma thought about his previous experiences with it.
"Just about anything, why?"
Aqua looked away with a mischievous grin.
"No reason"
Aqua walked to the other side of the room where Wiz was .
"Wiz could I borrow that?"
"Huh? Sure"
Aqua touched the orb and turned on the vacuum, setting it to "Organic Matter"
*VrMmmmmmm*
"Mmppphhhh Ccaaquasmaaa (Aqua-sama)"
Wiz, the former Ace Archmage and one of the seven Demon King generals, was now pitifully stuck inside the vacuum cleaner that she had bought.
Aqua put on the most smug face Kazuma had seen ever.
"Well that sucks"(lol)
Kazuma grabbed the vacuum cleaner and clicked the "release" button.
A dazed Wiz had just flown out of the vacuum cleaner right on top of Kazuma "Uuuuuu, Kazummmaaaa"
Kazuma currently "drowning" under Wiz 'Ohhh, this is not a bad feeling'
Kazuma enjoyed this feeling.... atleast until Aqua came in
"Oi get off him you stupid Lich"
Aqua proceeded to pry Wiz off mercilessly smashing her into the ground.
Kazuma could only think, 'Ouch'
Now that Kazuma had gotten his new and shiny Vacuum cleaner his business here is done.
Kazuma waved "Oi Wiz, I'll leave the money on the counter, see ya"
Wiz waved back "T-thank you! Come again!"
As soon as the two reached the mansion, Kazuma cleaned the annoying crumbs made earlier this morning, however by the time they got back, it was already quite late at night.
Kazuma sighed in relief "Thank god ants don't exist here"
Aqua, was sitting on the couch, eating some kind of snack Kazuma had never seen. "What are you talking about? There's one right here"
Kazuma retorted "I am not an ant you stupid goddess, if anything, your the one who dashes to everything edible on sight"
"I do not!"
"CUT it OUT!"
Meanwhile, Megumin has just left her room, irritated after being woken up by Aqua and Kazuma
"Do you know how late it is?!"
Aqua looked away from Kazuma, "It's this NEET's FAULT!"
Kazuma darted his looks back to Aqua "Huhhh? It was all you?"
The two continued to bicker, having Megumin witness the utter chaos unfolding in front of her.
"That's Enoouuughhhh!" Megumin, and Darkness chanted in unison
Darkness has just come out of her room, equally as irritated.
Darkness picked the two up with her abnormal body strength, "Why are the two of you fighting anyway!?"
"Thi-"
Darkness was still half asleep and clearly didn't have time to reason "Shut up! I don't want to hear it!"
Darkness grabbed on to the two, and started walking down the hallway. Meanwhile, Megumin had already dozed off at the living room.
Kazuma started flailing about "Oi Darkness, what are you planning?!"
The two were thrown into a small closet, about the size of an average bathroom , after Darkness had slammed the door on them.
*click*
Andddd they were locked...
Kazuma started banging and kicking at the door "Oiiiiiiii! You stupiddd Masochisstttt! Are you a sadist aswellll?!!!"
Aqua joined in and started banging on the wall, "Darknesssssssss~ don't leave me here with this NEEET"
However, unbeknownst to the two, Darkness was already in her room, sleeping.
Now, Kazuma was stuck in this tiny room with this alcoholic, useless, goddess.
After the two had settled down they both drifted towards opposite edges of the room. And both decided to sleep the night, except for one minor oversight.....
It was winter...
"Kazuma, it's c-c-cold"
Aqua was shivering
"Well there's nothing we can do about it"
Now the two were both locked up in a tiny closet, during the winter, with no blankets or heat sources.
30 minutes had passed, and neither of the two were doing so hot (lol)
Kazuma looked over to Aqua's side. The poor goddess was extremely pale, and devoid of emotions... It didn't sit right with Kazuma
The same person who would fuss and complain about everything, beg for money, and cry every single time something went wrong.
The same person who would cause him so much trouble, who brought him over to this stupid world, who fights and argues with him every single day.
Is now completely silent and emotionless....
It just pained him, for some reason.
Kazuma took off the jogging suit he was wearing over his clothes and threw it over the goddess "H-here"
Aqua face regained a a tiny fraction of the colour it once had, "Huh?"
Kazuma's face turned red? Nah, it was probably just the cold weather, "D-don't take it the wrong way, because you won't be able to repay back your debts if you are hurt"
Aqua blushes lightly? Nah it was probably just the cold weather. "Heh"
Aqua closes the distance between the two and uses his jogging jersey as a blanket to cover the both of them.
Kazuma shakes a little "H-huh?"
Aqua looks away, hiding her red face, which she deems is caused by the cold weather
"Don't get the wrong idea, it's just that if you were dead, you wouldn't be able to show me where you hid my expensive wine"
Kazuma also hides his red face, which he suspects is caused by the low temperature.
"Yeah, I-I Know"
The two doze off legs interlocked, under the warmth of each other and Kazuma's Jacket, as time goes on, it becomes less and less reasonable to think that the red faces were actually caused by the cold weather.