Zayn was always wrapped up in his cases. It was the only way he knew how to be since the day he became a detective. So with this case, it was no different. When he got home, he couldn't stop thinking about Arelie. He had a feeling she knew more than she told them. But it was also apparent that she wasn't ready to talk about what she knew yet. So he couldn't help but let his mind wonder about the possibilities.
What if Fionne killed her husband and her daughter witnessed it? That was not a far off theory because every time they tried to question Arelie, Fionne would always chime in and say that she didn't know anything. Or what if it wasn't Fionne that killed Niall but Arelie witnessed it and was afraid to say who? What if she was scared and felt her life was in danger and that her father's murderer may come after her? Or even worse, what if she was the one who killed her father and she was scared about what was going to happen next?
Honestly, he didn't want to believe that last one could ever be a possibility but he knew from cases he had seen other detectives solve that it very well could be the case. But she just seemed like a sweet girl. And he would hate to find out she did something to her own father. That would ruin her life.
As for himself, all this worrying was doing was making him tired. So he decided to go ahead and get something to eat so he could get to bed early. He didn't really feel like cooking anything so he'd gotten a microwave dinner from the freezer and heated that up. When it was done warming up, he planted himself on the couch, propped his feet up on the coffee table and started to eat. But just as soon as he really started to eat, his phone rang.
He picked it up to answer it but panicked when he saw Harry's name come up on the caller ID. Harry was calling him? For what? He may be okay with dealing with him at work but calling him when they were off duty was something much different. No way Harry was calling him this time of evening without a real purpose.
His first thought was that it was a call about new information on Niall's case or another open case. So he prepared himself for that and answered the phone.
"Detective Malik speaking."
There was a light laugh through the phone. "Kind of sucks that we bring our work home even when we're off duty, huh?"
Zayn paused. "Uh... Yeah... I guess."
Harry cleared his throat. "So... What are you doing?"
Zayn furrowed his brow and took the phone from his ear to look at the screen. He had to make sure it was really Harry talking to him. Of course it was. He put the phone back to his ear again. "Uh... I just sat down to have dinner."
"Oh really. What are you having?"
"Just a microwave dinner. It's chicken and broccoli with some kind of cheese sauce."
"Hmm... That sounds terrible."
"It's not bad. But I just wanted something quick to eat tonight. I'm not going to lie though. I do seem to be making this a habit."
"And you shouldn't be."
Zayn delayed his response because for a moment, it actually sounded like Harry cared for him a bit. "I know."
Then he sighed impatiently. He didn't care if Harry heard it or not. "So why exactly did you call me if there is no new crime scene we have to go to?"
"Well... First of all, I was just sitting here thinking about the case, you know. The morgue is releasing Niall's body tomorrow. And I heard they're likely going to have his funeral on Saturday at four o'clock in the afternoon. I was thinking we could drop by. I feel like it's the least we can do since no new leads have come up. Plus we might find someone at the funeral that may know something."
Zayn cringed. "I'm not sure questioning people at Niall's funeral is a good idea, Harry. It's not a considerate thing to do."
"Don't be silly, Zayn. I won't question them. I'll just leave them my card and then tell them to call me if they find out anything new. You know..."
"Oh. Right. Well I guess that's a good idea. We could do that."
"Good."
Zayn sighed. "Regarding the case though, something just isn't sitting well with me."
"Is it still Arelie?"
"Yes. It is. I just know she's hiding something and I feel like she wants to tell us but she's scared. I think she knows who did it."
"She may or may not. But what did I tell you earlier?"
"I know, I know. We can't force it out of her."
"And when she's ready, she will tell us what she knows."
"But then what if she waits until she's older? What if it's years after Amanda has had her baby or years after the killer has successfully gotten away and never paid for what they did? Way after the DNA evidence to convict them no longer exists and we lose the case? Don't you understand how terrible that would be, especially for her?"
"Yes. I do understand. And who knows? This could be one of those cases. But I had the same feeling a few times before and worrying about it didn't do anything for me but cause me to lose sleep over it. Things will turn out and at some point Niall's killer is going to get what they deserve. Whether we're the ones who take them in or someone else makes them pay before we can."
Zayn stabbed at a piece of chicken. "You believe that?"
"It's the only way to believe when you're a homicide detective. You can't give up."
"I'm not giving up. Believe me, I still really do want to find his killer."
"I know that but you're also letting the idea that Arelie might know something cause you to forget that there is more than one way to solve a case. By forgetting that fact, you're doing the one thing I always say don't do. You know what that is, don't you?"
Zayn smiled. "Yeah."
"Say it. Because the more you say it, the more you'll believe it and the more familiar you'll become with how to make sure you make that happen."
"You shouldn't let your job be a distraction from your job."
"Who me? I'm not letting my job be a distraction. You are."
He sat back against the couch. "Fine. I shouldn't let my job be a distraction from my job."
"There you go." Harry said he laughed quietly. "That's a start."
For some reason, that laugh settled Zayn and he finally relaxed. "That's been your motto a long time. I'm still trying to learn."
"And you will. As long as you're next to me."
"Ha..." He said and there was a little bit of rustling.
"I will be honest. My dinner isn't so hot either. I'm just eating crackers and cheese."
"Wow." Zayn replied and he put the phone on speaker so he could hold the tray with one hand and eat with the fork in the other hand. "You really don't have much room to talk about me then."
"I don't but I still did."
Zayn ate a bite of chicken and then crossed his legs. The line was quiet for a brief moment. Then Harry spoke up.
"Anyway... So now that eating good food is on our minds, I can tell you what I actually called for."
"Okay."
"Two days ago, you said you would like to go to dinner to discuss what happened between us. Is that offer still available?"
Zayn stopped chewing. Just like that, Harry made his heart start beating fast again. "It is."
"Then I would like to take it."
Zayn was shocked. "You would?"
"Yeah. I think I should. I think I need to do that to get a better understanding of the situation I have walked into with you. Because it sounds complicated."
Zayn nervously chewed at his lip. "Okay then. Yeah. When do you want to go and where?"
"I don't know where yet. I figured we could just wing it and eat some place that serves whatever we have a taste for that day. Second of all, I was thinking we could go over the weekend. We're off so..."
"Yeah. Unless we get another call."
"We're homicide detectives, Zayn. We're always on call. If we always worry about that, we'll never get to do anything."
"Yeah." Zayn said. "True. So then the weekend. Saturday evening."
"Right."
"Okay."
"But until then, tomorrow?"
"Yes. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Bye, Zayn."
"Bye, Harry."
When the line disconnected, Zayn stood up in a panic and paced the floor. When he first invited Harry to dinner, he was just trying to do something to keep from having to work with a partner who was mad at him. But now that Harry was no longer mad at him, why would there be a need to soften him? There wasn't. So now he was going to be sitting right across from someone who was very much still interested in him. How was he going to handle that?
After sighing to himself, he finally plopped back down on the couch with a huff. Worrying about it wasn't going to change anything. Therefore he just picked up the tray of food and began eating from it again.
➡️➡️➡️
"Niall was a really good friend of ours." One of Niall's friends, Samantha, was saying. "We even went on vacation with him and his wife before we moved across country five years ago. But that was a while back before he and Fionne were even thinking about getting a divorce." She gestered toward her husband who was standing right next to her. "Grayling and I were just talking about flying here to see him and the family about a month ago. We didn't expect to be flying out here so soon. And definitely not for this."
Harry nodded. "I understand what you mean. You can never plan for something like this. I'm sorry that you lost a dear friend."
She nodded and Grayling rubbed her shoulder.
"But I'll tell you what. I know you don't feel like you could be of any help because you don't live here. But you can. Maybe you remember something from his past or maybe he told you something a while back that you can't quite remember right now." He took a yellow card from his pocket and held it out to her.
She took it.
"However, you may remember it later. I won't call you but if you remember something, please call me. The detectives and investigators working this case will really appreciate it."
"Yes sir. I will if I remember anything."
"Thanks."
After taking the card, she and her husband scurried on past to talk with others who were in attendance. Then Zayn and Harry just looked at each other and shrugged.
"We were here for the whole thing and still no luck." Zayn said sadly.
"Right. Everything was normal with the exception of Amanda sitting way in the back. Did you notice that?"
"Yep and she got up and left right after. We didn't even have a chance to speak to her. Clearly she didn't want any commotion with Fionne."
"And I'm glad. I'm definitely not ready to break up a fight right now."
"Yeah."
They watched those in attendance began to file out of the door and Harry looked at Zayn.
"Do you want to go to dinner now?"
Right away, Zayn felt a nasty pull in his throat. He was trying not to look uncomfortable but he couldn't help it. He was worrying about if he'll once again say the wrong thing and make Harry upset again.
"Are you alright, Zayn?"
He swallowed the feeling and then spoke as calmly as he could. "Yeah, yeah. We can go eat now. I'm pretty hungry actually."
He even rubbed his stomach for effect and Harry smiled.
"Me too. Let's get you something good to eat."
* * *
"Alright, Mr. Zayn malik. I know what you're doing."
"Huh?" Zayn looked up from his bowl of pho to see Harry studying him hard.
"You're avoiding the conversation."
He shook his head but he knew he was guilty. "No. I'm trying to figure out how I'll eat this soup with the chopsticks."
"You could always ask for a fork."
"Wouldn't that be too easy?"
"I don't know about too easy. But it's definitely easier than pretending to be so busy eating that you don't see me across from you."
Zayn instantly deflated and Harry caught it right away.
"Zayn, I'm not trying to make things difficult between us. That's why I agreed to go to dinner. I wanted to hear what you had to say because like you said, I don't know more about your relationship than you do."
Zayn pushed his chopsticks in his pho and stirred it around. "Okay, okay. But I'm not going to just volunteer. You have to ask me the questions and then I'll tell you what you want to know."
Harry used his chopsticks and picked up a thin strip of steak out of his bowl of pho and ate it. "You were supposed to be on that vacation with your husband, weren't you?"
"Yes. It was supposed to be a goal for us to survive to and get everything together by. Like a deadline. But we didn't make it till then."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize."
"But you are most certainly separated and on the way to getting a divorce, right?"
"Yep. We've already been separated for seven and a half months now. He wants to leave me as soon as the year is up, so in about five months we're going to start the process."
"Are you ready?"
"You want me to be honest?"
"It's the only way I'll know the truth."
"No. I'm not ready because I don't want it. Thinking about it gets me aggrivated. I want to stay with him."
"And why can't you?"
"Because it wouldn't work anymore. We were high school sweethearts. We got married not too long after we graduated. I thought we were inseperable. But I didn't realize how big of a responsibility I had now that I was married. I have a good job but it was too much for him. I gave it much more attention than I gave him."
"But did you two really talk about this first? You know, to make sure this was something you both could handle and that it wasn't too rash."
"Yes we did. Well, actually he came up to me one night and just told me how he felt. But I didn't fight it. I could see it in his eyes that he didn't love me anymore. I couldn't change his mind. Getting a divorce is what he wants and it's what he feels we need to do in order for him to be happy again. So if I want him to be happy again, then I have to be okay with that."
Harry fidgetted uncomfortably. "By the way you're talking, I take it that you still love him."
"I do."
"Don't you know you're only punishing yourself?"
"How?"
"You're spending your time loving someone who doesn't love you anymore. I'm not saying you should just forget about him because it's hard to forget someone who was your high school sweetheart. But you took the ring on vacation with you. That's saying a lot."
He sighed. "Yeah, I guess."
Harry went silent and then finally spoke up again. "So in regards to how this pertains to us two. Not that there is an us just because we had sex... But you know... We did still share a very intimate night."
"Yeah. I know."
"So then if you still love him, why did you agree to sleep with me? Because you knew that I had feelings for you. I still do have those feelings. They did not just go away."
Zayn sighed and pushed around one of the floating meatballs in his soup. "I did it because... well... listen. My husband has moved on. He's dating someone else now. Moving on isn't something I was really ready to do yet so I was wearing my wedding ring to avoid anyone coming up to me. But when I saw myself in the mirror, I realized how pathetic I looked. I was on a cruise and still couldn't have any fun. So I took off the ring and went out for a drink. That's when you came up to me."
"Right. So does that make me a rebound kind of guy then? Like that we were only supposed to fuck to get your mind off of him without having any meaningful feelings toward each other?"
He shook his head. "No, no. Don't say it like that. I do like you. But see this is why I was skeptical about getting involved with you. I knew I still loved my husband so getting into a relationship with you might hurt you. It could hurt both of us. I mean... I do believe I could be in a relationship with you but only if you understand that it takes time to get over the last one. Do you understand that?"
"Yes. I do understand that and that's okay with me."
"It is?"
"Yes. I know it's not easy getting over someone you once loved for years but I'd like to think that being with me could change your mind about anyone."
Zayn did crack a smile. He always appreciated Harry's ways of trying to convince him even though he may not have always said it. "Maybe you could. I don't know yet."
Harry put his chopsticks down and folded his arms. "Yet... So does that mean..."
"I don't know. I admit that I do like what we shared but I'm still working things out in my head, you know. I'm still figuring out where I go from here."
Harry looked as if he was going to say something but he stopped and studied him hard. Zayn immediately felt embarrassed. He wondered if he said something wrong.
"Did I say something wrong?"
"No. You didn't say anything wrong. I was just... just observing."
"Observing what?"
"You."
"What about me?"
"I'm just sitting over here wondering how anyone could ever realistically ever fall out of love with you. That's all."
Zayn blushed. That was a very sweet thing for him to say. But even if Harry couldn't believe it, that didn't make it impossible.
"I wasn't a good husband. I forgot how important time is. I kept giving it to frivolous things and never made time for Louis. I should have listened to him and paid more attention to his needs and wants. But I didn't. When I finally figured out what I should have been doing, it was too late."
He was really pondering that answer. "Okay, so quick question then and I want an honest answer if you can provide it."
"Okay?"
"Why do you really want your divorce to stay a secret? Because to me, it feels like you just don't want anybody to know you're married. Which is exactly why I assumed you were cheating."
Zayn looked down at the table sheepishly. "Because... I'm embarrassed. I thought that I could make it work. But I failed. I'm out here every day solving murders but can't even find a way to solve the problems going on inside my own home. I figure it's best that I just stopped wearing the ring to work and not say anything. And then maybe the people who know will just forget that I'm married."
Harry didn't want to just be sitting there staring at him, so he picked up his chopsticks and began to eat again. "Um... Well... I think you have the wrong idea of me."
"I do?"
"Yes. When you told me that you were getting a divorce, that wasn't why I was upset. I was upset because you led me to believe you were single when you really weren't. Besides, you getting divorced would be a good thing for me. Like I said, I do believe I could be the one to change your mind about anyone. I want to be that one. Especially now that I know the truth about you."
Zayn looked at him and tilted his head sideways. He cracked a small smile.
"So based on all that you've told me, you're saying you do still want some sort of relationship with me even though you know I'm going to be going through a divorce in about five months?"
"Yes and no. I don't just want some sort of relationship with you. I want a real one with real feelings between us."
"But didn't you say you didn't want to be in an extramarital relationship? Technically, you would be."
"Yes, I did say that but the difference is that you're both moving on from each other. And I want you to move on with me."
Zayn didn't know why his heart felt numb when he heard that. "Well it's... It's... O- okay. I mean, why not? I like you. You like me. We can try to see where it will go."
Harry gave him a single nod but inside, he was struggling to contain the feeling of relief which had been bound up till now.
"But in order to do this, you have to stop making it awkward. You have to say something." Zayn told him.
"Okay. I'm saying... I don't know what will make this official. How am I sure that after this dinner, it will absolutely be me and you? There has to be a confirmation, right? Something that is not just mere word."
Zayn twisted his head sideways. "Like what? You want to hold hands while we eat dinner or something?"
Harry chuckled. "No. Definitely not while I'm eating. That would be a hindrance. After dinner is good though."
A small smile appeared on Zayn's face and he blushed hard. Holding hands with Harry in public. That would be a first. And certainly, that would be a confirmation that they were together, wouldn't it? "Alright then. Sure. We will make it official after dinner."
Instantly, Harry seemed to relax and get excited all at one time. "You have a deal. For now, I am going to sit here and watch you because I do like doing that."
"Well you can watch me struggle with these stupid chopsticks then."
"Don't call the chopsticks stupid. I told you you can always ask for a fork but you don't want to."
"And I still don't want to."
"Then I guess it's on you for having a hard time with dinner, isn't it?"
Zayn just looked across the table at him then lightly kicked his feet at Harry's feet. "Shut up."
But Harry found it so cute and endearing as he lightly kicked him back. "Yes, sir. As you say."