- You can still change your mind, you know.
I rolled my eyes as he said that sentence probably for the millionth time.
- I decided. – I answered for the millionth time. He fixed his throat and the grasp of his hand tightened around mine.
- Then you should meet... everyone. For the.. – he looked away.
- The last time. I know, but before that, I think we should talk about how to... you know.
- Yeah, I thought about that, but I still can't figure out how to convince everyone we're dead without a help. Let's say we make them think one of us is sick. Then we'll need a doctor's word to make them truly believe so. But we can't involve anyone in this, Danzo will make Inoichi interrogate them except it's someone with higher ranking than him.
- Hokage –sama. – I whispered.
- What?
- You think she'll listen? She's the head doctor, she can convince everyone we're sick. And Danzo couldn't do anything with her...
- We have to be very careful with our actions. For instance, we can't both be sick, that would be suspicious, wouldn't it?
- You're right. But then how about the other one? – I shook my head. – I'm getting ahead of myself. We don't even know if she'll listen, which is very unlikely.
- Let me see about that. – he said smirking. – she kinda... owes me one.
Tsunade's pov.
Ughh, I can not believe he had dragged me into this.
- Kakashi. You've broken a rule, hope you're aware of that.
- Yes.
- And we have no choice but to put you in jail. I'm sorry. You will serve jail time of... – said the old lady.
- I understand. But I don't think my health will stay on that long.
- What do you mean?
- I have a difficult health condition. – he said and looked in my direction, moving his eyebrow a bit, motioning me to start talking.
- But you seem alright...
- After his fight with Zabuza, he had some serious injuries. It is possible that he will die– I said, trying hard to sound as convincible as possible.
- What? Oh, lord. How much time does he have? – asked the old lady in a worried tone. Seriously, what is her name again? Ehh, to me, those two will always be old man, and old lady.
- How do you know? – asked Danzo with furrowed eyebrows.
- I'm his doctor, I'm pretty sure I know what I'm talking about. – I said a little irritated.
He shrugged. – well then, how much time does he have? – he asked jokingly. He's not buying it.
- We don't know, he has serious damage in his brain, his chakra flow is not coming to a certain spot in his brain, which is an irregularity. And there are some other damages in spite of that, as well. But that's fine, he wouldn't die cause of it, but the brain controls everything, and if the chakra flow stops responding to the brain, in other words if the brain stops receiving the chakra, he will... die. – i said all of it in one breath, with a matter of fact tone.
- How much time does he have? – he repeated his question.
- We don't know, it could be anytime, few days to few years, maybe.
I glanced at ___ and saw the immediate sadness in her eyes even though she knew all I've said was part of an act. She really does care about him, doesn't she?
I put all my attention to Kakashi when he started grabbing his head with his hands, shouting in pain, as if he's about to explode. I looked at him shocked for a moment.
- Oh, boy, Tsunade! Do something! – I heard the old lady yell, and I got my composure back. Kakashi. A good actor as always, eh?
I got the message, rushed to him, picked him up and ran to the hospital as I heard someone following me right behind.
I put him on the bed as someone dashed into the room gasping for air.
- I'm fine, ___. You know it. – he said looking up at her.
- I know.
- Kakashi, you know even though I'm helping you, it doesn't mean...
- Doesn't mean you're supporting this, I know. But you have to understand this, and I know you do. I thought I could just go away to jail or something, and let her live her own life – I saw ___ flinch at his words – but... I was wrong. If she wants to stay, that's fine, but for me, there's no way. I am ready for this decision. And so is she. I can't live without her, she can't live without me. We've been through enough to realize that.
I turned my gaze to her, and she too, had no hesitation, just sparkling eyes with a hint of sadness hiding behind it. They were both looking at me as if they were ready for this since they were born.
I knew that look, I've had that look. The look when you just know that you'll do anything for a person. The look in someone's eyes that's combined with love, courage, sadness.
- Fine. – they both looked at me surprised. - But you have to do everything very carefully to make this work. Now for the important part, you have to find...
___'s pov
- We totally understand. – he cut her out as if he doesn't want her to continue.
I was glad that he was using "we" other than "I". Now, he was finally starting to see us as a team, not as two individuals who have two completely different futures.
- I'm taking her home now.
- What? – I asked looking at him full of surprise.
- She's right, Kakashi, are you out of your mind? What if anyone sees you? You can't take that kind of risk.
- But I'm not taking her to that... room. It's dangerous.
- What room?
He put his hand around my waist and leaned into my ear. – We have to find the corpses, sweetie.
- Transformation jutsu? – I asked.
- Yes.
- But... people check that... right?
- I do. – Tsunade-sama said shrugging.
- Right.
I was so glad that she decided to help out. I don't even know why. Why would she go through all this? I knew I should just shut up and be grateful, but still...
- But isn't anyone gonna notice?
- We're not gonna dig someone's grave or anything.
- There's a room for ninjas' corpses which is done being examined, and about to be burnt. They have to burn it cause it contains some amount of information. They're usually rogue ninjas' corpses. – he said casually as if he's talking about the weather, not some freaky room full of dead people.
So we're gonna steal some rogue ninjas' corpses? I shivered at the thought.
- Why is there no one following us? – I asked suddenly, remembering where we came running from.
- Who, the elders? They'd never come here.
I thought for a moment. What should I do? is there really only one solution? Is he thinking of something to work this all out? Of course he is. But I don't wanna wait, I shouldn't wait.
- Ok, maybe I should go home for now.
- Really? But we still have to find a solution for you to die...
- Tsunade-sama. – he said.
- No, she's right, I have to think about that.
- Ok. – he leaned in to give an innocent goodbye peck on my lips but I tugged him from his vest, making our lips smash together.
Even I was surprised by my own actions. It's just that for the last few months, we've both been so stressful, and I was missing the old times. Even when he was standing right beside me, it felt like the times I missed him so much.
He didn't pull back like I thought he would, instead he pulled me in tightly, and for the first time in such a long time, he was giving himself away. All through this time, it felt like he was trying to keep himself in distance, probably because he wasn't sure about what we were, what "I" was doing to my life.
He pulled me away by my shoulders because of the lack of oxygen, and looked me in the eye.
- I know, I miss you too. And I promise I will be with you forever after all of this is over. As long as you still want me.
- You know I'll always love you, right? – I said with a tear on my cheek. He made his charming one eyed smile as he wiped the tear with his finger.
- Now I do.
- Do you want me to take you home?
- You know you might get caught, Kakashi-sensei. – I said rolling my eyes, pretending I don't want him to. But I needed him to stay here.
- Really? Even now? – he asked.
- What?
- Would you keep calling me sensei? It's a bit weird, y'know?
- Well, you'll always be my teacher. You're the one who taught me how to love someone when I didn't even know the meaning of it.
- Isn't that sweet? – he asked jokingly.
- Ok, I know you guys are going through a lot but, I'm still here.
- I'm sorry, hokage-sama. – I said quickly, feeling the blood rushing to my cheeks.
- Bye for now. – i said to both of them 'cause I couldn't trust myself to give him a goodbye peck, and went.
As I walked through the street, I don't know if I was just imagining it but the hurling wind started to feel so cold around my body. This could be the last time I'm walking through this street. And... the people.
I've had my last conversations like he asked me to do... except for one person. He's probably not gonna come back but, if he does, ever, he's just gonna find out I'm dead?
I shivered at the thought. God knows how long I was walking, and when I finally opened the eyes of my conscious to reality, I was walking in the street to Naruto's. I just need to see him, don't i?
***
- Who is it? – asked Naruto sleepily, was he sleeping till now?
- Hey, it's me.
- Come in.
I pulled the door open and went into Naruto's small apartment. There was not a single thing in the room that didn't resemble Naruto. There were 3 empty instant ramen cups on the table, a couple of milk cartons on the floor, his orange clothes scattered around the apartment almost everywhere, unfinished chips bag on the floor as well and just... some pillows which I didn't really understand why he had so many. Wow, I thought my place was messy.
- ___, what's wrong, are you okay? You look sad and... stressed.
- Gee, thanks.
He grinned like he always does.
- Actually, I'm still concerned about Sasuke.
"And some other things" I thought.
- Oh, ___, it's been such a long time, it was not your fault...
- No, not that. Umm, Naruto?
- Yeah?
- You are such a good friend, my best friend even, that I really don't deserve. And I just want you to know that i... I love you so much. – I said as I felt my eyes watering.
- I know, I love you too, ___. I think you're such a good friend too. Hey, are you crying?
- Just when, if he ever comes back, or if you have a chance to meet him...
- What are you talking about? I will bring him back for sure, believe it!
I smiled. I'm gonna miss his high, bright personality. It felt so hard that he would be one of the things I'm giving up.
- Of course. And when you do... just tell him I love him, and I'm sorry for everything okay?
- Yes, I will, but why can't you say it yourself?
I sighed and looked down for a moment.
- Because I'm afraid when the time comes, I'll be far away. – I said looking up, smiling.
He clearly didn't get what I was saying and specifically why I was smiling.
- Goodbye, Naruto, I'm sorry for waking you up. – I said hugging him. For the last time. He nervously hugged back.
- It feels like... something's off. Like something big's gonna change. Are you sure you're alright?
- I've been better, but I am completely fine.
- Okay then.
- Bye.
- Goodbye, ___-chan.
I got out the door and took a deep breath. That's it. The last conversation with the one person I truly care about in Konoha. From now on, I just have to let him exist in my heart, only.
Okay, now. Let go of the past and focus on the present. Which is extremely hard but... all of this was my choice, wasn't it? I'm pushing the people I ever cared about, away from me by my own hands. But if I don't, the one thing that is life for me, will go away from my reach. So if it had come to that, then the impossible decision doesn't sound so impossible, does it?
It's funny how it all seemed so easy at the start but it's getting harder and harder as it's getting closer to the end.
Okay then, let the final chapter of this mess begin.
A/N I'll end it there, tell me what you think. I'm so sorry for the delay, but I'm not gonna write some excuses that no one cares about, but I "was" very busy for the last month, and will try to update sooner.
As usual, votes and comments are very inspiring, they motivate me to start the next chapter.
See you soon, and is there anyone who had been reading this story from the first update? or maybe from 10th to 17th? Well for everyone who have been waiting, I'm sorry, and tell me on which update you picked up the story, I will be very grateful.