justin's pov
i slammed the door as i went sprinting towards the front door, my knuckles slamming onto the wood.
the door slowly opened, as her aunt carol stood there with a frightened expression.
"justin?" aunt carol started.
"where's claudia?" i swallowed hard.
"she's taking a shower-"
i sprinted past her upstairs as i ran into her room, the door on her bathroom locked.
"claudia please don't do anything-p-please let me in let me help you-"
no response.
"claudia?!" i asked louder.
silence.
i shook my head slightly before i backed up and went running towards the door, kicking it, as the whole door collapsed.
my stomach nearly did a somersault when my eyes sank into the figure, a shaking figure.
claudia was on the ground with the pills in her hands, her body shaking as she rocked back and forth.
i quickly went up to her and grabbed the bottles, making her scream and sob simultaneously.
"LET GO!" she sobbed as she held onto it.
before i knew it, the cap came flying off as all of them fell to the ground.
"NO!" she balled as she tried to grab them but i grabbed her arms and held her gently.
"shhh i'm here." i whispered shakily, her heart beating rapidly against my chest.
"please." she sobbed into my chest making my heart break even more. i couldn't bare seeing her like this. "please let me die."
i thought it would get better, but really it got way worse. and i take all the blame for it.
"i can't do this anymore." she barely breathed out making my heart break as i held her tightly.
i heard running footsteps and soon aunt carol was in the bathroom with us.
"oh my god baby." she began to cry as she walked towards us hesitantly.
"call 911." i mumbled. "now!"
she quickly flipped out her phone and called 911, as i kept my focus on her weak, cold body in my arms.
"you're okay-"
"y-you hate me." she sobbed as she tried to fidget out of my grip.
"i could never hate you, claudia." i started softly. "i love you so much."
"liar." she cracked. "LIAR!"
i pulled her closer to my body as she gave in and wrapped her arms around my body too, her breathing hitched as i tried to calm her down.
the paramedics came barging in as i helped them place her on the table, her eyes beginning to shut as they placed the mask on her.
i followed them but aunt carol grabbed my hand.
"c-can you drive me there?"
i nodded slowly as we both ran towards my car and sped towards the hospital.
an hour later
"hello you must be claudia's guardian." a young doctor came walking towards us as he shook aunt carol's hand. "alright mrs carol-"
"please-just call me joanne." she asked shakily as he quickly nodded.
"alright joanne, claudia has woken up, but is still weak. we still want to monitor her for the rest of the day and if she gets better she may be able to leave tomorrow."
he stopped and grabbed a couple papers under his clipboard.
"however-" he glanced at me and back at her. "can we please talk about some treatment and social groups for her in my office-"
"oh yes of course." she nodded as she turned back to me. "you can go in there and try comforting her i'll be back soon."
i nodded slowly as i made my way to the door, unlocking it slowly, until i heard running footsteps.
i quickly let go of the door knob as i turned and watched madison running towards me with an upset expression. fuck she's gonna hate me.
"mad-"
before i could say anything else she grabbed me and hugged me tightly as she burst into tears.
"t-thank you for s-saving her."
i sighed in relief, as i wrapped my arms around her, her body shaking as she sobbed quietly.
"i thought i lost her." she whimpered as i patted her softly.
"she's not going anywhere." i mumbled. "don't ever think that."
she nodded slowly as she quickly pulled away and wiped her eyes.
"can we go in?" she breathed slowly, as i nodded and grabbed the door knob.
the door opened slowly, as i saw her body in the white hospital bed, her head turned towards the windows.
i watched as claudia's weak head turned towards me, her eyes remaining plain.
"o-oh my god claudia-" madison whispered as she began walking towards her but i grabbed her arm to stop her.
"give her a second." i mumbled as she furrowed her eyebrows at me.
claudia's eyebrows furrowed slightly, as i began walking towards her slowly.
"hey, how you feeling?" i asked as i gulped.
her eyes stared into mine, but it was different. they weren't light. they were dark and i couldn't tell how she was feeling. she was like a different person.
"okay." she spoke hoarsely as she cleared her throat. "w-why are you here?"
i furrowed my eyebrows as i sat on the chair next to her.
"what do you mean? i wanna make sure you're okay-"
"n-no." she began to look around on the bed, her eyes looking around the room in confusion. "y-you can't just disappear like that and come back out of no where pretending like you care if i killed myself-"
"pretending?" i couldn't believe what i was hearing. "why would you think that? i care about you so much ba-"
"you didn't last week." she blinked slowly, as her eyes began to water. "i l-love you and you just told me to leave. like i was some random person. do you even love me?"
i swallowed hard, as i felt my heart break. did she really not know if i loved her? i love her so much which is why i let her go. i was making her feel all this pain...and i couldn't be the one who hurt her. but i guess, here i am again.
"y-yes, i do." i grabbed her hand but she quickly let go.
"don't lie to me justin-"
"i-im not-"
"justin." i heard madison call out from behind me as i quickly turned around and stood up.
she grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the bed, as she sighed.
"just let her breathe for some time, she just woke up. don't do anything to cause stress-"
"yeah, you're right." i sighed as i looked behind me and watched as claudia avoided eye contact.
"i'll be outside." i spoke softly as i walked out of the room, feeling a ball of emotions ready to be released.
sadness. i never heard her sound so hurt in my life...she was completely broken and i wasn't even aware of it.
anger. i shouldn't have ended things with her, even though i hurt her when i'm with her, i hurt her even more when i'm not there.
fear. will she try to hurt herself again? after all of this, is she gonna try to take her away from me? i couldn't bare thinking about my life without her in it.
i shut the door and sat in the chair as i buried my head in my hands.
you're such a fuckup.