What the fuck, i finished this last night and I didn't even upload it. Okay.
On the side is a link (press "external link") to my vlog which I did for my followers on Quotev. It'll be gone in a few days so watch it when you can :)
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He's clearly upset when Niall saw him at the door. He has nothing with him, Niall glaring at Louis as Louis just sighed, letting his focus roll to the ground.
"Hey, are you all right, mate?"
Louis shook his head as he clenched his teeth together, covering his eyes with his palms as he sobs hard into them. Niall took Louis into his arms, some instinct which was completely foreign to the both of them. He's sober - he smelt sober any way. Louis cried into his shirt and gripped the hem as Niall petted his hair and whispered sweet nothings into his ear.
"S'okay, Louis."
"He hit me," Louis murmured. "Harry hit me."
Niall gulped, his eyes wide with shock as he glared at Louis clutching on to his body for dear life. Niall shook his head, moving slowly into the house as he closed the door behind themselves. Louis kept on crying.
Niall didn't question further, neither did he talk. He moved himself and Louis in to the barren room which was once his and settled him down into the bed. Louis wailed more, Niall not letting him go once. Zayn popped through minutes later in to the bedroom wondering about the foul cry he can hear. Niall flipped him off, Louis feeling Niall mouth something to Zayn. Zayn scurried off, Niall staying with Louis.
Louis doesn't stop with his fat tears spilling out of his eyes. He is crying out heartache. Harry hit him. Harry. The one guy who said wouldn't hurt him bloody hurt him. Louis couldn't process every thing. Harry hit him. Fuck! Harry hit him!
"Lou," He muttered into his hair again, his thumb stroking over Louis' bicep. He clutched harder around Niall. "I'm here for you."
Louis feels like they're twelve and ten all over again.
*************
Harry's cooperating at least. Louis knows he is. He hasn't bothered to show his face in the cafe for an entire week.
Not like Louis would be able to handle a situaton like that at the very moment. Louis brought a plate of dishes back to the sink in the room behind him, washing them thoroughly and leaving them for Mia to put them in the dishwasher - hygiene was supreme. Louis tended to the counter to serve the few Drama students which popped out of their lecture minutes ago. He scrubbed the counter down with a small wash cloth, cleaning the coffee machine at the end of the day before signing out and leaving the shop behind for the buses back home.
He was meant to go to Harry's today to pick up his stuff. All of his stuff is with Harry, and he's resorted to Niall's stuff right now. Louis just doesn't know if he had the courage to go to Harry, nor does he think Harry had the courage to see Louis.
Niall greeted Louis when he got home, Louis speaking a small hi back to be polite. Louis headed into his bedroom to fall into his bed, absolutely wrecked from more heartbreak and fatigue. Niall knocked at his open door, waiting for Louis to answer to walk inside.
"Just go away, Ni."
"Lou, c'mon. You need to get out and about," He murmured, stepping into the room and sitting on the edge of Louis' bed. Louis remained face-flat on the mattress. "Do you want to come with Zayn and I tonight?"
"I thought you said you weren't going t--"
"I know, Lou," Niall interrupted. "It's just one night. Zayn and I haven't been out in a while and I can just see the pain on his face."
Louis shook his head. "I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
Louis didn't answer, Niall taking it as a no and leaving Louis to himself.
**************
He was stupid to go see Harry the following Friday.
He arrived at the door, knocking tentatively with the urge to try run after the bus to take him back home. Harry answered moments later, his face contrasting from dull to surprise in a millisecond flat.
He leaned in for a hug, Louis widening his eyes. "Munchki--"
"Don't," Louis rejected, putting his hand out to avoid Harry's touch. "I'm here to get my stuff."
"What stuff?"
"What do you mean what stuff? The stuff I brought over when I moved in with you," Louis backchatted, hands on hips as he glared at Harry with his eyebrows high. "Can I get my stuff, or is it too much of a hassle? Too much of a bother?"
Louis was close to barging through, but Harry stopped him with an arm barracading the door. "Louis, stop."
"I don't need to stop any thing, I want to get my clothes. As you can see, I'm wearing Niall's ripped jeans and a t-shirt way too big for me."
"I-It looks good on you, Lou."
"Fuck off, let me get my things," He snapped harshly, pushing past Harry's arm. Harry doesn't move. "Harold!"
"Harry," He corrects. "Louis, you don't need to do this--"
"Yes I fucking do. I have no clothes and I'm not coming back here every day to get changed for work!"
"You live here, Louis. Why--"
"Ha, hell no! I'm not living with you until you learn that violence isn't the answer."
"Like I know what I'm doing when I'm angry, Louis. You know what I've been through."
"Control yourself, Harry! Get some help! Maybe you should just get some help! I can't bloody help you," Louis snapped again, slapping Harry's arm to try let himself through. Harry wouldn't. "For God sakes Harry!"
"You're not moving out."
"I can if I want. Niall said he can let me back in. He's been looking after me just fine!"
"I looked after you when you were sick!"
"That was one time."
"And this is also one time with Niall, so that's no different--"
"Bullshit, Styles! He's helped me through most of my childhood. Niall's never hurt me physically either!"
Harry chewed on his bottom lip. He can't try and avoid this one. "I told you I can't really control myself, Louis. I'm really so--"
"Don't."
"Louis, at least let me apologise--"
"You can fucking apologise when I'm fucking dead. I'm not going to let this one slide, Harry. You've hurt me too much and I was that much of a blimming idiot not to realize that fifty mistakes ago!"
"Hardly fifty--"
"Shut up, Harry." Louis pushed through, this time - successful. He goes up the corridor and turns left into the bedroom to find his clothes still in the closet, hardly touched. He gathers most of his clothes, stuffing them into the suitcase he used to bring them over in the first place. He zips it up after sitting on it, strolling it out and finding Harry standing in his way at the frame of the corridor.
Louis sighed.
"Move."
And he doesn't.
"I said move, Harry! The next bus comes in the next five minutes!"
"Looks like you're going to be a little late home then, aren't you?"
Louis cocked an eyebrow up, shaking his head as he rolled his eyes. "Move, Harry, don't be a twat."
"You're not leaving."
"Ah, so you didn't want me to come in here, now you don't want me to leave," Louis laughed, his tone sarcastic. Harry furrowed his eyebrows at him, not budging for Louis' liking. "Harry, just fucking move will you? I have business to do."
"Yeah, you do here too."
"Like what? Being used like a punching bag?"
"Louis," He growled sternly. "Stop being a cock about it, alright."
"How about you stop being a cock altogether and let me through?"
"Not until you hear me out--"
"Fuck off!" Louis spoke with his voice outrageously high. "What do you have to say for yourself, huh? I can't control it. Bullshit. You've said enough. And I don't forgive you, Harry."
"Loui--"
"You hurt me, Harry. Emotionally and mentally wasn't that bad, but physically? That draws the line."
"I didn't mea--"
"Shut up, Harry. You did mean to. You don't just hit something, or someone, for no apparent reason."
"It was an accident!"
"Oh, my hand twitched around thirty times. It got you directly in the face, I'm so sorry," Louis mocked with his slow voice. Harry grumbled with annoyance, folding his arms and looking at Louis crossly. "Learn to control yourself."
"How about you learn to control yourself! All you want is relationships, sex and me to do as you say!"
"Do not!"
"Do so! Don't even deny it, Louis. All this has been you wanting to fuck around with me, No wonder you're desperate for me half of the time! It all makes bloody sense!"
"No it doesn't, Harry. Remember what we talked about?"
"Who cares about that!"
"You obviously don't remember."
"Yeah, but you don't seem to remember that important date in August either!" Harry slammed back. Louis fell innocent, and guilty. "Yeah, stop blaming others for things you've done wrong too, you hypocrite."
"I'm not a hypocrite!"
"Are too, Louis Tomlinson."
"Bullshit, Harry. You're worse. You're bipolar, that's what you are. You say you love me one minute, and the next, you're calling me all sorts of names like some reckless manic the next!"
Louis tried passing through Harry again, Harry not letting him through. Fuck, he was going to be late for his bus, and work all together if Harry didn't move the fuck over.
"Move!"
"No. Not until you apologise!"
"Apologise for what? Giving you what you deserve? How about you learn to move your fat arse out the way so I can catch the bus back home to work. I can't be late because you're always dragging me out of it."
"And how about you with your dragging of me from my studies? Do I get an apology for that?"
"No, because fuck your studies. You didn't pass these exams, what's the point of going back?"
"Maybe because I want a career, unlike someone else who couldn't be bothered to go to university and got the job as a barista, and will probably do that for the rest of his life."
"Being a barista isn't that bad, you twat!"
"What? You're going to be making coffees until retirement, watching all the success run past you as they reach for their degree, and all you're doing is serving them coffees from your fat arse."
Louis gasped, his stomaching aching from the stabbing words. He left his suitcase, charging forward at Harry and pushing straight into his sternum. Harry jolted back with a growl coming from his throat. Louis lost it.
"You have no right to think you're any better than me at what I like to do. For my sake, this is what's keeping me alive! I have no money, Harry, I have nothing. You have everything, you have a car, a house, your sister, you have a career right ahead of you. You have no right to shut me down just because I'm a fucking barista. I might not have a full career, but you're not the fucking queen either so you just shut the fuck up!" Tears were spilling out of his eyes. He was so, so angry. He couldn't handle Harry being this aggressive. He couldn't handle Harry whatsoever.
"You have nothing?" Harry almost sneers, but tears were forming at his eyes also. "I gave you everything, Louis, you fucking hypocrite! I gave you everything you wanted--"
"Did not--"
"Did fucking so, Louis. I did. You just rejected it, and you just pushed me away with your little worthless excuses. Don't you dare say I gave you nothing, because I gave you everything!"
"Yeah," Louis roughly wipes his tears away, turning his cheek for Harry to view the purple mark slowly fading away from the slap the other week. "Everything you gave me!"
Harry lost it this time, shoving at Louis' shoulders to push him straight into the concrete wall, pinning his shoulders against it as if he was some photo frame. Harry straightened him out, a hand around his throat as Louis shakily breathes. He's lost control.
"Harry, p-plea--" Louis' loses his voice, Harry's hand tightening around his neck as he choked on his own breath. Harry let him breathe.
"You want to try again, don't you?"
"Don't do thi--" Harry cleanly smacked him across the face, the purple mark stinging like a million wasps. Louis cried out. "Harry! Harry, please don't. Please Harry!"
"Please what?"
"Please don't hurt me! Harry, pleasepleaseplease," Louis shrieked, his leg trying to kick Harry's to get him to step away and to let Louis go. "P-please, I beg of you."
"I should," Harry thought for a moment, Louis felt himself calm down but the panic only rises when Harry slapped his face in the other direction. "I could," Another blow to the cheek. "But I don't wanna."
Louis' eyes squeeze shut as his breath is cut short again. Harry does this many times. He continued to abuse Louis, each word he said was only accompanied by a slap in the face or the hardened grip around the neck. Louis silenced himself in the end, Harry throwing him to the floor and finally walking away with curse words pouring from his mouth.
Louis made his chance to get away. Was there intention to ever come back?
No. Never.
*************
He's late for work, walking in with his head down in shame. Mia came by with her face stern and flat. She's not happy with Louis.
Louis dragged himself into the back room to put on an apron. Mia followed him, spinning him around by his shoulder and about to go off her head about his dwaddle in. She gasped, seeing the state of Louis' right cheek.
"Louis," She didn't touch the mark, looking too purple and damaged to be touched even by a speck of dirt. "Louis, what happened?"
He turned aorund, avoiding Mia as he knotted the apron. "I fell."
Mia didn't believe him one little bit. "Louis, who did this to you."
"No one, I said I fell over."
"Louis, I'm not thick. Those are hand marks. Who did this to you?" She asked again, her voice full of concern. She spun Louis around again, grabbing his shoulder as he winced to himself. "Louis!"
"My shoulder just hurts... arthritis." He lied.
"It was Harry, wasn't it?" She assumed, taking a look at Louis' cheek and inspecting the obvious marks of a faint handprint. "It was Harry, don't lie to me, Louis."
He only fell into Mia's shoulder, crying hard into her neck as she softened her tone, hugging Louis tight as she stroked his back, trying to soothe him. Mia grinded her teeth together, appalled by Harry's behaviour.
She knew from the start Louis shouldn't have trusted him.
Mia didn't say a word, things were still awkward between her and Louis. She just kept him company. He needed that right now.
Mia ended up taking Louis home for him to rest. Niall took over the duties to look after Louis, making him some mac and cheese as they sat on the couch to watch some football. Louis was completely silent, picking at his food. Niall didn't ask him about Harry's.
His face honestly said it all.
***************
Later that night, Louis was in the bedroom, poking at his belly sticking out from under his thin shirt. Niall saw him through the large open space of the door, curious of what Louis was attempting to do.
"Louis, what are you--"
"Niall," He called, poking his tummy some more. "Do you think I'm fat?"
Niall scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Louis, you're beautiful. Don't say that about yourself."
"I-I didn't--"
"Don't worry about what that fuckhead says either, Louis, you're tummy is nice. Keep it. It's good for blowing raspberries on when you're upset." Louis laughed at that, Niall feeling jovial as he walked away from Louis' door. Louis' face fell flat again as he viewed his stomach.
Harry's right. He was a fat arse.
Niall headed off to bed, Zayn sleeping at some woman's place, Louis guesses. Louis went to the bathroom later that night, throwing up forcefully with two fingers down his throat as he sat by the toilet, feeling disgusted with himself.
***************
Later the next week, Louis was at home with Troye, both on the bed reading through their Tumblr feed about their recent video just uploaded to Youtube.
People were starting to question why there was nothing from Harry and Louis recently. There were more questions on where Harry was in particular. He hasn't made a video in around a month actually and people were starting to get worried about how he was coping with University and with Louis.
Troye and Louis, though, were fine. This was their third video this week and it was fun enough running about all over the place trying to shoot a video for their subscribers. Louis doesn't forget about Harry though, not once. His bruise on his cheek was fading slowly and of course, Troye couldn't be any less nosy about it. ("What's that mark on your cheek?" "Harry hit me." "W-woah, what? What did he hit you with?" "His hand... it was.... intentional.")
Louis told Troye. He had to tell Troye. That only lead to Louis telling Tyler also. They spoke on skype for over three hours, both Troye and Tyler supporting Louis with what was going on. Of course, they weren't taking sides, Harry also being the nice guy and Troye thinking that maybe Harry wasn't doing it purposely (he wasn't taking sides, honest). Louis told them to forget about it, and it was day five since Louis told them, Troye laughing at a post on Tumblr of him and Tyler in Sydney from a few weeks ago.
Meanwhile, Harry's watching the video of Louis and Troye playing at the park right across from Cicerello's. He couldn't help but feel jealous. He really was really, really jealous. Louis was smiling hard, genuinely hard like he used to with him, at Troye trying to cartwheel in circles on the grass. And-- oh, Louis kissed his cheek. No big deal.
He's smiling all over again and even his smile can't rid the image of Louis crying, pasted on the back of his eyelids, and the screaming of please don't hurt me! drumming his in ear. He can't over look that he hurt Louis, and he continued to hurt Louis even when he said he never wanted to hurt him again.
Harry picked up his phone, standing from the couch and heading into the kitchen to find the phone book. He typed in the number once found, pressing the phone to his ear as someone picked up straight away.
"Hello, this is Mount Lawley's Counselling Centre. This is Fiona speaking how may I help you?"
Harry sighed, biting his lip as he spoke quietly. "Hi... um, can I book an appointment, please?"
"Sure, what was it for, sweetheart?"
"Just some anger management issues."
He heard her typing loudly on the computer keyboard, finally speaking. "How does tomorrow at three thirty sound to you?"
Harry muttered. "Perfect."
****************
gabriella--love asked: hey louis. is harry okay? i think you've seen this alot but all of us are reeeeeeeeeally worried about him. much love. xoxo
louis-tomlinson: he's fine, love. he's just taking a little break, that's all. xx
justiceandjustin asked: are you and harry making videos any time soon? i miss them :(
louis-tomlinson: I'm not too sure, sweetheart. i'm sorry we haven't been doing much. he just needs a small break, thats all. xx
Louis was in his room just answering a needle in a haystack's worth of questions he's been receiving. Ninety-nine percent were about Harry, the other percent were just questions on casual, every day things - the occasional what do you wank off to? here and there.
It's been a month, an incredible month. That thing Harry was talking about, the twentieth of August thing, has just passed. It was the twenty third now, Louis feeling quite lonesome on this Friday night by himself. Troye had gone home from his earlier visit, Louis wishing he'd asked to sleepover when he started to hear noises from the room next door.
Zayn was at it again. Louis put in his earphones, hoping for the best to try block out the noise. It works, for sure. He doesn't even hear Harry come through the window when he-- fuck! Shit! What the fuc--
Louis threw his laptop at him, Harry jumping back with his body against the window sill. Louis screamed, tangling himself in the sheets as he tried to run off. Harry beat him to the door, Louis shrieking again as he found himself in a corner, his back sliding down the wall as he tried to cover himself with his legs.
"Louis I--"
"What are you fucking doing in here?!" Louis hissed. Harry didn't move from the door, afraid that he might hurt Louis again, or Louis might run for the unoccupied door. "What made you think it's okay for you to climb into my fucking room?!"
"Louis, we need to talk--"
"No, we fucking don't!"
"Louis, we really do."
"Is this the most appropriate time, Harry? You barging into my room like you own the place and being like oh, hey Louis, I'm just climbing through your window to say hi, even after everything we've been throug--"
"I've gotten help, Louis," Harry stated bluntly, Louis pausing for Harry to continue. "I-I... um, I called someone a couple of weeks ago and I managed to talk to her about some things between you and me and... this problem that I have. She said I should come talk to you."
"And you couldn't have given me a call or any thing? You just had to come barging through my window without invitation."
"Like fuck you would have answered my calls, Louis. And I've tried the home phone, and I suddenly remembered that Niall's bills weren't paid, so the phone line must have cut you off."
Louis glared at him. "You didn't pay him?"
"Well, why should I? The agreement was if you lived with me, he'll get the money to support. Now that he has you again, you can support yourselves. You don't need me--"
"Fuck you, Harry. Why can't you just help a friend out?"
"Because, he was a friend through friend. I don't need to help out your friend, Louis. He's not my problem."
"Right now, you're my problem."
"Good luck trying to solve it."
"You are being solved, by this therapist of yours. Apparently she's good, telling you to just let yourself into the house disapprovingly and the guy will surely talk to you."
Harry couldn't help but laugh just a little bit. "She's really good, actually. She has a website and she's taking me through a course. Like... on how to manage my issues and stuff."
"Should I be interested in this, or more so not care?"
"Louis, you asked me to do this, so I'm doing it for the sake of what's going on between me and my head, and us."
Louis sighed. "Harry, there is no us."
"Whatever, all right? I'm doing this for you. You said I should get help and I am. Be happy, will you?" Harry shut him up, continuing on what he started. "She told me to start writing in this thing, like, all my emotions and feelings. In the past two weeks, I filled almost half the book. She looked through it and analysed it and all that shit and... well," Harry cautiously walked to Louis, taking out a piece of paper to give to Louis. "This is what she said."
Louis unfolded the paper, the creases hard enough to probably rip the fragile paper in to strips. Louis read the notes on the page, summarizing the very few which were quite open and significant.
Worry, stress, doesn't understand fair argument, doesn't respect crying, in love, feelings of worthlessness, bad parenthood past, uses anger as a functional trait, unable to retain self control--
Jesus, all of these were making Louis' gut turn.
There were plenty more, some on Harry's anger issues and the others mentioning that it was partially Louis' fault. Louis was upset about that, of course, but he felt more guilty than any thing else.
"How many days do you go a week?"
"Three, sometimes four. I go after my lectures for about an hour."
Louis nodded, Harry taking the piece of paper away from him and tucking it into his pocket again. Harry sat on the floor in front of Louis, knowing now that Louis was going to be listening to him without any intention of flying out that door.
"Louis, I don't want you to be scared of me."
"Do you think it's that easy for me, Harry?" Louis asked him. "You don't get over fears that easily, Harry, you know that. I can hardly get used to your tattoos let alone a guy who is abusing me, and has tattoos on show also."
"Lou--"
"You know I had a bad past with Mum's boyfriends, my step dad. You're bringing my fears back by hurting me. You're the one I thought could rid them but you're only bringing them back!"
"I didn't mean for it to turn out this way, Lou. Just... I feel so dominant over you, and... that's what Fiona said too. She said you were too vulnerable and I just feel so much power and is why I can't really control myself."
"Not even love can control it?"
"Apparently not," Harry breathed. "I really am sorry, Louis. You don't understand how sorry I am and I don't know how you're handling me right now, and I'm sorry for scaring you now, and earlier. I-I just... I didn't want this to hurt our friendship, you know?"
"But it has, Harry. It really has."
"I'm sorr--"
"Harry, apologising isn't going to solve things between us," Louis told him. "It's just... It's not going to work out this way any more."
"Lou--"
"I'm sorry, Harry but you need to keep going to this person and sort yourself out before you sort things out with me," Louis muttered. "Because as much as I know I love you from the real deep fleshy bit of my broken heart, I'm not going to give in this time to be hurt again by your stupid mistake."
Harry left with that mental note, going through the window and leaving a less panicked Louis in his room.
**************
He's at work, remining himself that if Harry were to come in right now, he would need to bolt.
But it's been another week since Harry threw himself, disrespectfully, into Louis' room. Louis was scared to sleep, afraid Harry was going to pop through some time else and hurt him. Louis was sleep deprived and always had shorter hours on Mia's behalf.
Mia seemed to be okay now, knowing Louis wasn't hanging around with that bastard of an abuser. Little did she know that Louis actually saw him last week. Louis hasn't told Mia any thing, nor was he planning to until he felt comfortable.
He served someone with a lazy attitude, apologising before he handed her the cup of mocha and her change. She shrugged, walking away and taking the table Harry used to always sit at, looking out the window and thinking to herself. Exactly like Harry.
Someone else comes in this time. He didn't come from the University, obviously. It was a big guy, a fluoro yellow shirt on with jeans looking like they're about to spring open. The man waddled in with a box in his hands, rather small and it looked light. It must be some new spoons or something for the sugar table.
He arrived at the counter and places the box down. Louis was in the back room, getting Mia to sign the package like she always did. Mia walked out with Louis shadowing behind her as the man gruffly asked for Louis.
Louis glared wide eyed. "Why me? She usually signs these things."
"No, I need you to sign the clipboard because the package is for you," Oh. He put forward the clipoard over the top of the box, Louis getting the pen and lurching forward to sign in the appropriate spot. The man said good day to them both, Mia and Louis staring at the mysterious package.
"Why me?"
"Maybe Boss put the order under your name," Mia shrugged. "C'mon pet, open it up."
Louis took the package in his hands - it was extremely light. He took it into the back room where Mia sat on a crate to observe what was inside. Louis grabbed a stanley knife, cutting across the sticky tape seam to open the box.
He looked inside, a bunch of red and lilac roses sitting with a box of Dreamy Donuts.
"What is it?" Mia asked, Louis showing them off to her, the box in one hand; the flowers in the other. "That's sweet. Who's it from?"
"Who else could it be?" Louis stared at the objects with a tentative interest. "Why would Harry send these?"
"He's obviously trying to win you back, Louis."
"Well, it's not going to work for me," Louis threw the two things violently back into the box. "I told him to sort himself out before he comes to me. And it's too early for him to be okay. He's not going to get me back."
Mia smiled. She was proud of Louis for finally standing up for himself for what was really right. Louis went home at around five that afternoon, no sign of Harry - thank god. He had the box with him, going into his room and taking both the flowers and doughnuts out. Harry was incredibly sweet to get both of these, Louis wasn't even sure you can get lilac flowers here.
He found a vase and filled it with water, placing the flowers inside and at his night stand. He ate those doughnuts, so amazing. He kept the box beside him also, worried about Niall going into the fridge and stealing his present.
Why is Harry doing this though? It was obvious he's trying to get back with Louis but... the presents weren't at all necessary. Harry knows Louis doesn't want presents, Louis doesn't want to be spoilt.
He only sighed to himself before going to bed. This was okay.
***************
It was not okay.
Tuesday comes by and the man comes back, this time with a basket. Louis signed the clipboard. He unwrapped the gift in the backroom, Mia not at work today from Louis' shift alone. The wrapping paper was plain, the inside wasn't.
Chocolates. A basket full of fucking chocolates. Louis is disgusted with himself, and probably Harry too. He threw up those doughnuts from last night after waking up at midnight for feeling so fat. Is Harry trying to make him fat?
But jesus, the basket was full of them to the rim, a 3D heart shaped chocolate in the dead centre. Louis was sure that it wasn't solid - but it was.
There was writing on it, Louis reading the message carved on the front of the heart chocolate. It was melting in his hands for sure, reading it quickly and smiling to himself.
There is peace in my soul
For such a long awaited time
There is love in my life
A love of melody and rhyme.
Once you took hold of my heart
I knew no other could have reached
As whispered fate took my hand
To levels only you could reach.
You in my life
Will live eternally
I knew the first night we met
You were meant for me.
Louis couldn't stop smiling. He really couldn't. Harry was being the sweetest and is ju--
No! Louis couldn't give in. He places the chocolate, ever so carefully, back into the centre of the basket, about to walk out of the back room and to leave the chocolates melt in the sun.
He ran back in a second laterto put the basket into the coolroom. Once he finished work, he took the basket home and left the chocolate basket beside his still fresh doughnuts.
He wasn't going to eat them, the last thing he needs is a burning throat from forced vomitting.
***************
The man came back again on Wednesday.
It was a smaller package this time, extremely small. Louis was given the box just as small as an iPhone box and signed the paper. He opened the box in the back room, Mia observing him again as he ripped the packaging open.
It was as small as an iPhone box because it was a bloody iPhone. Another on-- Oh wait, it's just a case.
The case was inside the iPhone packaging and shit, it was a photo of himself and Harry in Geraldton printed on the case. Mia looked at it, awwing at the side despite her hate for Harry. Louis grinned at it also, looking at the inside of the case and seeing a small message inside it.
Hope we can retarnish Memory Lane and continue driving across it. Harry. xx
Louis grinned, placing the cover on his iPhone, the one Harry bought, immediately and continued to work with a beaming smile on his face.
***************
The gift on Thursday was really small. The man came in, obviously sick of seeing Louis' face and walking away with a gruff attitude. Louis opened the box at the counter this time, Mia looking over his shoulder and Louis looking at the ring.
That's that ring, and Mia thought he just got proposed to. Louis gasped as he saw the gold ring, a little more detail added onto it. Etched into the gold was an engraving, Louis and Harry's name. Shit, he was so damn serious about this.
"Louis," Mia growled sternly. "Is he propos--"
"No!" Louis shouted, his voice still kept at a low minimum. There were glares from people around the shop already as Louis tried to avoid the calamity. "He bought this for me back in Geraldton. He must have kept it for an engraving."
Louis stared at the ring for a bit longer, so sweet of Harry but he can't give in. He really can't give in. This was the ring which Louis told Harry not to get and to sell, now, it was in Louis' hands ready to put on his finger.
He can't put it on. He'll never be able to take it off. It was a perfect fit though, but he wouldn't be able to because it'll be that symbol of knowing Harry's in his heart and should stay in his heart. Louis can't accept him just yet. He can't forgive him so easi--
"Louis, there's something else in there," Mia muttered, reaching to grab the piece of paper sticking out of the velvet lining of the box. Louis opened the message, reading it and fumbling with the ring in between the pads of his fingers.
Munchkin,
Meet me at the Opel Moonlight Cinema tonight at 6:30. Wear something nice and bring a pillow or two :) xxx
Love, Harry. xo
Louis can't stop smiling, jumping slightly on his spot and putting the ring on. He's fucking going.
****************
It takes Louis a bit of research to find out where this place was. Apparently, it was in the botanic gardens of Kings Park, so Louis was okay with that. He takes the bus to May Drive, a eight minute drive as he saw the big screen cinema with people already crowding the area with their couples, friends and family. Louis searched for Harry, his search falling short as Louis spotted him somewhere in the middle with a purple pillow in the air, signalling for Louis.
So Louis walked through with his aqua pillow from the lounge, meeting with Harry and giving him a small smile. Both sat silently on the picnic blanket underneath them, Harry close to Louis with a hesitant hand on Louis' knee.
"This okay?" Harry asked, watching for uncomfortableness in Louis' eyes. Louis didn't react.
"It's fine, love." Harry felt good about himself already.
Harry tangled their hands together, noticing the ring on his finger. He smiled. "You put it on."
Louis forgot about it. "Yeah, s'nice, Harry."
"Um, did you get everything else too?"
"You mean the presents?" Louis asked. "I did."
It is pretty awkward from then on. Louis doesn't bother to speak at all leading up to the movie. The movie was the only break of their silence, and really, Harry's break to try and make a move. Louis doesn't bother to reject Harry with the kisses they share at the time being. Louis did miss Harry's lips a little too much and that comforting arm around the waist all the time. He really missed that.
He kinda tries to forget about everything that has happened. It doesn't work though and by the time the movie was over, Louis felt like shit. He wanted to stay with Harry but at the same time he just wanted to stab him with a branch and run away from him.
The movie was ending with the credits, people already starting to leave. The movie wasn't that great - about some western rodeo type thing that could be seen in Toy Story. People were still left behind, scattered all over the place, mostly couples. Louis was leaning on his elbows, watching Harry as he sat up and stretched.
"You all right, Lou?" He questioned, rubbing a hand on his thigh. "Sleepy?"
"Nope, I'm fine."
Harry grinned fondly, putting an arm over Louis' stretched out body and bracketing him. Harry leaned over him, bending his arm to press down into Louis' lips and meeting them for a small, but somewhat passionate kiss. It was better than all the ones they've shared tonight.
"I hope this wasn't too shit, was it?"
"No, Harry."
"The movie was pretty crap," Harry sighed, laughing a little at himself. "Sorry."
"You're fine, Harry," Louis murmured, his tone a little harsh. "You don't need to make a big deal out of it, really."
"But I want to, Louis," Harry whispered, meeting their lips again. "Because you're special to me and with every date we have, I want them to be better than the last."
Well, Louis wasn't falling asleep this time. Maybe it was better than last time. "Is your therapist helping you out lately."
"Yeah," Harry beamed. "She's telling me how to sort myself out and to really try and think of ways to calm myself down, like a time out or to remember something positive about my life and focus on that. I said you for that, but she told me not to try think about you because sometimes, you make me a little angry."
"So... why are you here then, with me?"
"Because I told her about our relationship. I didn't want to call you to come with me to the clinic but she's a relationship therapist too. Fiona told me to try take you out again and to try and get you to see the real me, the one you fell in love with and to try and make you grow out of the phase of you thinking I'm going to hurt you."
It was working, it really was magic. "It seems to be working."
"It is," Harry shrugged, kissing his nose and making him giggle into Harry's neck. "I really do love you, Louis."
But Louis can't say any thing back, and Harry knew this was okay.
They both stood after Harry said he wanted to walk and talk for a bit. The moonlight was coming through the canopy of trees as they managed their way around the paths with the small amount of light being used. They weren't hand in hand, walking with a distance between them as Harry finally stopped them upon a tree and taking Louis' hand, kissing the back of it.
"Louis, we both need to commit to something here."
Louis gulped, worried.
"I know this isn't going to be easy for us and I promised you I'll go to this clinic until I'm completely cured-ish. But... I just need to know that I have your support, Lou. I need your support."
"Support?" Louis questioned. "Like what?"
"I promise not to fuck things up for us again, Louis. I really love you and I miss you so much at home. I miss your little pinches on my bum every morning and I miss making tea for you. I miss not having to cuddle someone in bed. I miss all of us."
"Harr--"
"I'm not asking for any thing intimate, only a second chance--"
"Harry, I've given you a second chance too many times!"
"I-I know, please Louis. I really do mean it this time. I don't want to fuck around this time, I just want you to come home. I miss everything we do together. The fans love us together. They're just as disappointed as I am."
Louis pinched the bridge of his nose. "Harry, you know it's harder than thinking about the fans and the good memories."
"I know, but--"
"I love you, Harry. I really do, but I've been doing this too much... forgiving and forgetting. I really love everything we've done but... I think this is really telling us we're heading into paths of things too early and we shouldn't be doing it."
"What path though?"
"Like... that path of falling in love," Louis shrugged. "I think maybe we should just spend some time apart."
"Louis, we have just spent a month apart from each other."
"Well, you know," Louis shrugged again. "I'm sorry, Harry, but I need to listen to my head to. I know something will happen, I'm not thick. You and I just need to spend some time apart and think to ourselves for a minute."
"B-but, you said you love me?"
"I do love you," Louis smiled to him, making Harry's hopes rise. "But there's just some things you fall in love with but you need to leave behind too."
And Louis started to walk away from Harry, Harry reaching forward and clutching on to his wrist.
"Please," He muttered, his eyes pleading as he searched for some hope in Louis' eyes. Nothing. "Please don't leave me, Louis."
Louis sent an apologetic look to the desperate boy, snapping his arm away from Harry and walking down the path he just came in, going home and leaving Harry now absolutely heart broken.