Chapter Eight
“Your love should never be offered to the mouth of a stranger. Only to someone who has the valor and daring to cut pieces of their soul off with a knife, then weave them into a blanket to protect you.”
—Hafiz
C
I took time that evening.
I took time picking what I was going to wear, actually changing four times before finding the perfect outfit. I took time drying my hair and even borrowed mascara and lip-gloss from my mom, who had been unable to hide her joy over the fact that I was asking for makeup. She had even gone so far to ask if I was trying to impress someone special that evening.
I had told her no. But only I knew that was a lie. I wasn’t dressing for myself. I was dressing for him. I wanted to look my best, be the most confident I’d ever been because I had something to prove to two people tonight.
Myself and Devilyn Reilly.
I was about to walk into a den of sharks. A den that I had successfully avoided for my high school career because I knew that I had no business being a part of it. Since I clearly hadn’t attracted much attention during the past few years, I was growing more and more concerned that what I had picked to wear from my tiny closet wouldn’t cut it tonight at the party.
I moved over to the bed and touched the pair of dark blue skinny jeans. I shook my head in despair as I thought about my ridiculous predicament. I would think back on this day and laugh. I repeated the words over again in my head, I would think back on this day and laugh. Hysterically, I hoped. Unfortunately, I felt that by the time this day would actually be funny to me, I would be old and gray.
I shifted through my closet, staring at my carefully folded sweaters and found a nice cowl neck gray sweater and threw it on my bed next to my jeans.
“Alright,” I said with a deep sigh, satisfied with my selection.
I changed into the outfit quickly. Time was flying by, and Teddy was bound to show up at any moment. The last thing I wanted to do was keep him waiting and have to suffer through his jokes about how long it took me to get ready for the party.
As I put my black boots on, I heard the doorbell ring below and the sound of my mom’s voice greeting Teddy. I took one last look at myself in the mirror, grabbed my jacket and shut the door to my room.
Teddy and my parents had gathered in our kitchen and their voices carried up the stairs. I quickly descended them and turned the corner to find them sitting around our kitchen island. It was obvious from their huge grins that my parents were overly excited. It wasn’t like me to go out on a Saturday night, especially to a party. My mom was positively beaming. Had been since the moment I asked for lip gloss.
Most parents would be nervous about their children attending an event like this. But mine were just the opposite. I guess they had always secretly hoped I would eventually step out of nerd-dom, and tonight’s party definitely was, in their eyes, a step in the right direction.
“Oh honey, you look absolutely beautiful,” my mom gushed as I entered the kitchen.
She actually clapped her hands together.
“Let’s not get so overly dramatic,” I replied hesitantly as she came over to me and took my hands in hers. Were those tears in her eyes? She didn’t even cry when she found out I aced all my AP classes freshman year.
“Mom…” I grumbled, unable to deal with her enthusiasm.
“I can’t help it.”
I looked over at Teddy and tried to change the topic. “You look good, Teddy.” I walked over and gave his shoulders a tight squeeze.
He quickly rose from the bar stool he was sitting on and gave me a full look over.
“Honestly, you look amazing,” he said as he scrutinized my face. “Are you wearing makeup?”
“No,” I said too quickly. I tried my hardest not to blush.
“Yes, you are.” It was like a kid brother pointing out the obvious.
“Well, just a little, what’s the big deal?” I replied defensively.
“That’s a surprise,” my father said stating the obvious.
“Why is it a surprise?” I asked. “I always wear makeup when I’m going out on the weekends.” That was a lie; Teddy’s snort of laughter said as much.
“Since when do you go out, dear?” he teased.
“Since tonight.” I couldn’t keep the attitude out of my voice. “And don’t worry, I’ll try not to make a habit of it.”
“Oh honey, don’t tease her. I honestly wish you would make a habit out of it, Caroline!” My mother laughed. “We just want you to have fun sometimes.”
Wow. My parents wanted me to have fun. I guess I was more of a nerd then I originally thought. I quickly realized that this conversation could only go from bad to worse.
I tugged at Teddy’s arm, so that we could get out of there. The quicker we left, the quicker we would get home. This evening was already turning into a night of inquisition. He took the hint and shook my dad’s hand as I gave my mom a quick hug goodbye.
The evening air was brisk and slightly cooler than the other nights had been that week. But the chill felt good. I knew that my face would be turning many shades of red tonight, so anything to cool the heat would be welcomed.
I skipped down the stairs leading to my house and headed out to Teddy’s car.
“You really do look great,” Teddy said with an admiring smile.
“Thanks, maybe Tatiana has a cousin,” I laughed.
“She doesn’t have a cousin, but she does have a brother,” he joked.
“Yes, she does have a brother,” I replied suddenly reminded of him.
I opened the car door and sat on the leather seat and shook away any thoughts of the dark-haired stranger. I would see him tonight. I would have to pretend that I couldn’t care less about who he dated or what he did with his free time. I suddenly wished that I had taken more drama classes.
“Here we go,” Teddy said as he put the keys in the ignition.
“Here we go,” I repeated and gave him a forced smile.
Jordana lived a couple of miles away from me in Ballast Point, an upscale neighborhood of Roanoke Island, which faced the waterfront. Owners of houses on this part of the island generally had large boats that they would keep docked right outside of their home. The neighborhood was all rather new, and the elegant homes very spacious and beautiful. I admired the manicured lawns of the streets as we drove up to her house.
The party was in full swing when we arrived. The music could be heard all the way down the street. Teddy parked his car a few doors down from Jordana’s parents’ home.
I looked out the window to see a crowd of people on the street, on the driveway and around the stairs leading up to the traditional home. I took in a deep breath and opened the car door.
Everyone outside was staring at us as we made our way through the group of onlookers, making every attempt to smile. Teddy stood tall and proud, and for the first time I realized that he fit in perfectly. His attitude was definitely far different than our classmates, but he had an air of confidence that I had never seen until tonight. Or perhaps never taken the time to properly notice.
He nodded and gave a high-five to people that I spent many of my formidable years with, but who now looked at me like I was a complete stranger. My smile almost faltered as I sensed my confidence starting to crumble. What was wrong with me? I took a deep breath in and willed myself to be strong when I heard a familiar voice call out my name.
“Caroline? Is that you?” Brian Baker asked out loud in a state of shock. His look of disbelief was almost comical. I couldn’t look that different from how I did in school, could I?
“Hey Brian,” I managed.
“Wow, you look hot,” he said.
“Thanks,” I couldn’t keep the shock out of my voice. I was still reeling from the fact that he actually knew my name.
“What are you doing here?” he asked. I couldn’t help but smile. At least he was being honest.
“Jordana invited me.”
“I figured that much. I’m just surprised you came,” he said with a smile as he turned to Teddy. “Hey man. How’s it going?”
“Great,” Teddy replied as he looked around at the large crowd. “Looks like she invited the whole state.”
“You know Jordana,” Brian replied, rolling his eyes.
Actually we don’t, I silently thought. Neither Teddy nor I had really ever had much interaction with Jordana or her friends since elementary school, actually since second grade when there were no cliques or groups, or even popular or unpopular kids. When we’re all just the same, equals and friends.
“Well, it’s nice of her to include everyone,” I offered graciously.
“There are some people she shouldn’t be including,” Brian bitterly said as he took a sip of whatever was in his plastic red cup. I thought I smelled beer.
“Who’s that?” Teddy innocently asked.
“Devilyn Reilly.”
Oh boy. I looked at Teddy and shook my head.
“I gotcha man, I gotcha,” Teddy said as he pushed me along. “We’re just going to head inside and grab a drink.”
“Catch you later,” he replied as he lifted his drink up in the air. He winked at me before I turned away, giving me the confidence I needed to face anyone.
I followed Teddy up into the house, and the second we walked through the front door I knew I didn’t belong. The world was so foreign to me. Girls in short skirts, flirting shamelessly with the boys. Beer cans and plastic red cups in people’s hands. I am so out of my element, I thought as I scanned the crowd. I guess this is what high school is all about. I stared at a couple who was making out on the dance floor..
I didn’t belong. And I wanted to go home.
Teddy took a hold of my hand, as if sensing that I might bolt for the door, and looked down at me and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.
“You’re okay.”
I nodded at him, and then he slowly guided me through the various groups of familiar faces as I tried to maintain my composure. It felt like we were deep within the ocean, swimming idly, as a group of sharks circled us just waiting to attack. I knew that Teddy was searching for Tatiana and was anxious to find her. Although the sooner he did, the sooner I would be left to fend for myself. I knew three was a crowd.
“Oh my gosh Caroline, I almost didn’t recognize you!” Erika Davis called out.
I turned to face the popular cheerleader that had sat in my art class all semester and nodded. I guess the fact that I was wearing makeup was coming as a shock to not only my parents but to the entire student body of Manteo High.
“Hey Erika, how are you?”
“No, I mean I honestly didn’t recognize you,” she repeated, ignoring my question. “Until I saw Teddy and then knew the girl following close behind would have to be you.”
“Yep, it’s me.” I didn’t know whether to feel insulted or ecstatic. I concluded that I must certainly look like a troll at school.
“You should wear makeup more often,” she said with finality as she turned and continued her conversation with her girlfriends who nodded in agreement.
“I’ll take it into consideration,” I replied.
“Let’s grab a drink and go outside,” Teddy said, sensing my rising unease.
“Have you seen Tatiana yet?” I asked trying to change the subject.
“Nope, but there’s her brother. So I’m sure she’s here.”
My heart dropped.
D
I couldn’t stop staring.
A quick look around told me that I was not alone. She had every breathing male in the room stealing looks at her. She radiated beauty. It glowed from within. Despite her quiet confidence, I could tell that she was uncomfortable in her surroundings. We had that much in common. I knew that like me, the last place on earth either of us would ever want to be was at a high school party.
I wished I could leave the silly girl who stood next to me and grab Caroline’s hand and take her away from this madness. I would run away with her. I would take her around the world, watch with wonder as she experienced a new city, a new culture. I’d see the earth through her eyes. I’d watch the innocent wonder. I’d revel in the purity of her humanity. We’d be a normal couple. We’d have a normal life. With normal problems.
I could do it.
I could make anything happen.
I was to be a King after all.
And then I saw a flash of Arthur’s face. The look of a man who’d loved, lost, and could never return. I could not let that happen. But I could not stay away from her. I knew that the closer I was, the better I could protect her.
But I had to be cautious.
Every move I made from this day forward had to be calculated. I couldn’t afford to make a single mistake. I had to undo my past actions and get her to trust me so that she would feel comfortable spending time with me. Until the great danger of the Seeker passed.
And then what? And then nothing.
And then, I will walk away.
I began thinking about how I had spent my day. Plotting, planning, investigating. I had woken early that morning and set out into the forest surrounding Jordana’s home, waiting for any indication that the Seeker had arrived. I went to the sea and stared out upon it. I went to the gardens and listened, and Brighid had met me there.
As I stood with my eyes closed, head up to the heavens and palms out, which was the best way to hear our enemies, ensuring that every part of my body was one with the nature surrounding me. I began to listen intently, and then she appeared.
She had jarred me out of my reverie.
At first I thought it was the Kelpie, and I had instantly turned and hit her with light out of my eyes. Luckily she had been prepared and had guarded herself against the attack.
“My God! Brighid!”
She laughed gleefully.
“You can’t fool me.”
We stood facing each other. “Thank God for that.”
Brighid looked me over. “He is not here.”
“I know.”
“But he is coming,” she told me.
“Where will he be?”
“I cannot tell.”
“You cannot tell or you cannot tell me?” I asked curiously, unable to keep the anger out.
“Both,” Brighid said solemnly. “There are rules that come with our gifts, Devilyn, rules we all must follow. But nevertheless even I don’t know everything.”
“Why have you come?”
“To give you this.” A small white orb appeared in her palms, and she walked over to give it to me.
“What is it?”
“It is yours.”
“I don’t understand,” I told her.
“It is your mother’s light.”
I felt like she had punched me in the stomach.
“She doesn’t need this right now. And you do. Take it. She gave it to me for this day. She wanted you to have it.”
I closed my eyes against the pain of her words.
“Wanted? Is she gone?”
Brighid smiled gently at me and looked up at the sky.
“She is everywhere.”
I still could not bring myself to take what she was offering. “Let your anger go, Devilyn. Let the hurt go. She loved you. She sacrificed for you. Take her last gift. It will help you protect Caroline.”
I didn’t hesitate.
I cupped my hands and held them out as Brighid placed the orb into my palm. The force of the energy lifted me into the air as the orb dissolved with speed and coursed through my veins. I felt a resurgence of power and energy. I knew my eyes were brighter than they’d ever been as I felt even stronger. I looked down and Brighid was gone. I saw how the light seemed to immerge from my fingertips and I played with the electrical current that moved in and out.
“Thank you,” I whispered and then I disappeared to continue my search for the Seeker.
My greatest concern was the water surrounding the community, for I knew the Kelpie loved and lived in water. I was almost certain that he would swim up to shore and make his way onto the town. Or would he think that was too obvious? It was maddening. For I had no way to be sure of anything.
The questions played like a broken record over and over in my head. What form would he arrive in? Would he be able to spot her? Where could I take her to escape his clutches? How would I be able to stop what I might not be able to recognize? I had to be careful because my nerves were making me mad.
An hour before the party hit full swing, I set out again into the forest. Hoping and praying that Alderon would reveal something. I desperately wanted anything to give me an advantage.
I made my way into the Fae forest, and it took only moments before I found him easily, dining in abundance and laughing with the enchanting Katya. I stood in cloaked darkness before the bountiful spread, listening intently to their discussion.
“I should have married your mother,” he charmingly said to Katya. “She was a great beauty.” Alderon looked at the end of the table where I stood. “Instead I made the grave mistake of finding solace in the arms of that lying whore Tara.”
My eyes narrowed, and I couldn’t help the anger I felt at the mere mention of my mother. Was he taunting me?
“We would have had beautiful children.” He smiled over at her. “You’d be my daughter.”
“I would have liked that,” Katya said loyally.
Alderon reached out and grabbed her hand. “As would I. Instead I am left with Devilyn. A child that hates me. That denies his birthright. And defies me at every end.” Alderon wore the look of a father scorned. Katya fell for his make-believe sorrow, but I knew better.
“He will realize the error of his ways, Alderon,” Katya tried to soothe him. “He is your son, after all.”
“He is my son, but his mother was of the light. We must always remember he is the only Fae to ever be both. Dark and Light. The battle that wages inside him must be ferocious.”
I was startled by my father’s words. It almost sounded as if he felt sorry for me.
“But he will ultimately choose us. He will choose the dark,” Katya told him.
Alderon lifted his fork and smiled, “Imagine waking up every day, every single day, of your existence and being alone. Yes, he lives with Odin and his sister but he battles what lives within his soul. Dark. Light. Dark. My son must live with this madness at all times.”
I immediately looked away feeling like I had been slapped by his words.
“What will he choose? What will he be? The call must be strong and only one side can win.”
“He is the chosen one,” Katya told him. “He will pick our kingdom.”
“No matter what he decides, I fear it will be too late, my dear. I don’t know if I can forgive him anymore. There are laws.”
“But he is your son.”
“There is no room for forgiveness, even for my son. And there is a price he will pay.” Lightning crackled in the sky. So be it. It was an omen.
I thought of Arthur. Of his prison. There would be no other way.
“What are your plans? You have kept us in the dark. There are many who grow worried,” Katya told him.
“The wheels of my plans are already put into motion,” he said with a smile as he reached across the table and grabbed a shiny apple. “My dear son will soon learn a valuable lesson.”
“And what is that?”
“If something is taken away, then it was never meant to be yours.” I watched as he took a bite out of the apple and smiled.
I wanted to tear him to shreds. He would know I was listening, and he knew how to play this game too well. I left quickly trying to escape his laughter. In my haste and anger, I failed to notice the maidens that had followed me before I disappeared into the forest of the Dark Fae.
The Valkyries.
There were two that greeted me when I appeared back into the human world. They were dressed as always, like Amazon warrior princesses. Their hair held high, worn that way so that they would never be left at a disadvantage during battle. They wore short metallic warrior skirts, so that they could move quickly if need be. Their arms were bare, except for the serpent cuffs they wore, the eyes made of bright lapis stone designed to look into the heart of any man.
They pointed their spears at me, yet the smiles they wore ruined the effect.
“Has Odin not taught you well, Devilyn?” Kristianna asked curiously.
I looked down, pretending I was humbled, and before they knew it, I pulled both their spears from their hands and held them, pointing one at each princess.
“Indeed he has,” Artemis said as she clapped.
I knew the game was on as the women began to circle me.
“Let’s dance,” Kristianna said. I moved the spears around quickly, knowing they were looking for a battle, even if it was one in jest.
The women pulled their swords from the sheaths in their backs and attacked. I moved quickly as Odin had taught me, blocking each thrust of their sword with the spears I had pulled from them. When the spears broke and I was left with nothing, I ran. And they easily followed, their laughter chasing me through the forest. I moved easily through the trees, jumping over and dodging branches.
This was my element.
But the women were fast and caught up with me quickly. They circled me again, their swords held high as they watched me curiously.
“This is not fair, Artemis. He has no weapon. Perhaps we should give him one.”
“I don’t need one.” I told them as I used my energy and pulled her sword from her hands. She replaced her sword quickly with a dagger she kept strapped to her leg and the two pounced again.
Whether luck was on my side or if I was fueled by mother’s energy, I beat the women at their sword play in record time. The bowed to me and clapped.
“Fabulous,” Kristianna replied.
“Odin will be pleased.”
I threw the sword into the ground a few feet away from where they stood.
“Battle never pleases my father.”
“But being a warrior does,” Artemis replied softly. “You have a Queen to protect.”
They were right.
And now, as I looked at Caroline I knew that Odin was wrong. I had played the game incorrectly. For the moves I made in this game of chess exposed my Queen. From now on, I had to keep her close.
Jordana began tugging at my hand, and I was forced to look down.
“This is the best night of my life,” she giggled happily. “Tonight we are the host and hostess of this party. You and I are practically Mr. and Mrs. Reilly.”
I tried not to roll my eyes. This charade had to stop. I looked over at Caroline who still had not seen me.
I had to backtrack. And quickly. From this day forward I needed to keep Caroline surrounded and protected. I needed to let her know that, despite my actions, I had grown to care.
When I looked back up and across the room, I realized that the game suddenly had a new player and I had a monumental challenge before me. How had I missed it? Caroline was now holding Teddy’s hand as he guided her through the crowd. I couldn’t believe my eyes. How did this happen? When did this happen?
I wanted to wring his neck. I wanted to march over to him and rip his hand away from hers. If we had been in the Fae court I would have done exactly that. And no one would have even blinked an eye. It took all my willpower to stay where I was. What was she doing? My heart began pounding ferociously in my chest. The blood began to rush through my veins. I took a step forward. Then stopped. Took a deep breath. I could not act like a lunatic.
And that’s when she looked over.
It was almost as if she sensed my growing anxiety.
I silently pleaded with her. Please, Caroline. Please let me in. I won’t hurt you. I won’t let anyone hurt you. I watched her eyes widen for a moment as if she heard my silent pledge to her.
I mouthed the word “hello” and slowly lifted my hand and waved. I would not let her break my eye contact.
Let go of his hand.
Please just let go.
C
I slowly turned my head in the direction Teddy was looking in and found Devilyn staring straight at me. His look was intense. Really intense.
Again, I felt as if he silently spoke to me. My imagination had to be running away with itself again. Whatever it was, I could not break his gaze. For a second I thought he’d even called out to me. Or maybe that’s what I hoped.
But after a moment, he just smiled and waved.
I nodded my head in acknowledgement and felt the heat rising up my face. I don’t know why I always reacted like a lovesick child around him. I turned my head and felt a sudden flush. For a second, there I was again, imagining things that were not a reality.
“I need a drink,” I told Teddy quickly as I turned my gaze away.
Teddy laughed and squeezed my hand as he pushed his way to the kitchen. I was almost relieved. We had seen each other, said our hellos from across the room, and now I could spend the rest of the evening avoiding him at all costs. I began to plan my evening. For the first half hour I could hide in the corner of the kitchen. The next, I could wander outside and stand in a dark area of the balcony. After three or four strategic moves, the evening was sure to be done, and Teddy would drive me home, and I would be home free.
We walked into Jordana’s large and expansive kitchen. There was a whole spread of food laid out on the granite island countertop. Underneath it were sizeable oval shaped metal buckets filled with ice and various drinks. A giant bowl of punch was on the countertop as well.
“I guess I’ll have the punch,” I said as Teddy grabbed a plastic cup and was about to pour for me.
“You don’t think it’s spiked, do you?” I asked suspiciously.
“It’s not. It’s a mixer,” Erika said as she grabbed a plastic cup and poured herself some punch as well. “It’s delicious. You’ll love it. Promise.”
“Thanks for letting me know.” Teddy poured some in my cup and handed it over to me. I smiled back in appreciation.
Erika held out her cup toward me.
“Cheers.”
“Cheers,” I said, taking a long sip of my drink. I wondered why I had ever thought Erika was not a nice person. She had given me two pieces of advice this evening. The make-up and now the punch.
Erika smiled, “Well, have fun tonight!”
“Thanks. You too.” I watched as Erika walked off. “This is great punch,” I said turning to Teddy. “You should try some too.”
“Nah. I just want a soda,” Teddy replied. “Punch is a girly drink.”
“Suit yourself.”
I shrugged and watched as Teddy bent down to search through the cans. And that was when she appeared. I think my mouth dropped open. It was almost as if she came out of thin air. She walked seductively over to Teddy. She was a few inches shorter than him—over six feet. And her body was one that girls had to envy. I couldn’t help but stare at her amazing beauty and watch as she carefully and methodically ran her long and well-manicured fingers down his back.
It had to be her.
She had the same magnificent eyes as her brother, only his were darker and more ominous. She was radiant. Just like him. Emanating grace and sophistication. Leaving me feeling beyond inadequate.
She smiled at me and reached out her hand.
“You must be Caroline.”
“I am. And you must be Tatiana,” I replied with a smile. Teddy certainly had wonderful taste.
Teddy stood up and turned to face the object of his affection.
“I was beginning to think that you weren’t coming,” he said to her with a smile.
“I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” Tatiana replied as she rubbed her hands up and down Teddy’s arm. Teddy couldn’t take his eyes off her. But then again, neither could I. She had the kind of beauty that you just wanted to watch.
“What can I get you to drink?” Teddy asked her.
She looked down at my hands, and her eyes narrowed for a second on my almost empty cup of punch. I motioned toward the punch bowl, “It’s amazing. You should try some,” I told her.
Tatiana studied me for a second and then smiled.
“Sure. Why not?”
“Girly drinks,” Teddy said as he rolled his eyes.
I giggled. Suddenly feeling warm and a bit lightheaded.
“Is it hot in here?” I asked Tatiana.
She smiled as she watched me. “It’s not so bad.”
Teddy grabbed a plastic cup and poured Tatiana some punch, and I decided to try and make small talk.
“So how do you like Manteo High?”
“I’m dying to hear this answer.”
I instantly recognized his voice and drew in a long breath. It was him. Standing right behind me. The man who had been endlessly haunting me for months.
I almost didn’t want to turn around.
Almost.
“Hi Caroline,” he said as I slowly turned to face him. I had to look up because he was standing so close. Without breaking my gaze he said, “Teddy.”
I couldn’t talk, so I just smiled. The heat in the room I realized was getting to me.
“Devilyn, are you intentionally trying to ruin my evening?” Tatiana asked, obviously irritated
“I don’t think anything could ruin your evening,” he said as he reached down to grab a drink.
“Soda?”
“Thanks, but I already have one,” I replied, showing him the cup of punch in my hand. His eyes narrowed. He didn’t look very happy.
“What?” I asked.
“You’re drinking?”
“Punch,” I told him. “I don’t drink.”
“You do tonight,” Tatiana told me as she took a long sip of the punch. “This is spiked.”
Teddy started to laugh. The look on my face must have been priceless. Erika. Sweet Erika.
“It’s not funny,” I said as I put the cup down. Devilyn instantly handed me a bottle of water.
“It is actually because you only had one cup,” Teddy said with a smile. Tatiana leaned into Teddy to get his attention. He was instantly riveted.
“Do you feel okay?” Devilyn asked with concern as he searched my face. I could feel the blush coming on.
“Just hot.”
“You are,” Devilyn said quietly. So quietly that I only heard. I looked up at him in shock. Was I drunk? I had an excuse now. I had just consumed a cup of spiked punch. It was a total possibility.
Devilyn smiled down at me.
“I’m glad you only had a cup.”
“Thanks for saving me.”
And then to my utter surprise he lifted my chin so I could stare into his eyes. The look he gave me was intense.
“I will always save you, Caroline.”
It sounded like a promise. Or an oath.
Either way, I didn’t know what to say back.
He let go of my chin and took a tiny step closer to me. He was invading my space. I wasn’t sure why he was standing around, or why he was staring at me like he owned me. Or why he started to smile. I wished he would wipe the smug grin off his face, or even better let us all in on what was going on inside his head.
I decided to act indifferent and move away from him. I started to undo the top of the water bottle, but before I could, Devilyn had it in his hands, opened it, and it was back in mine.
“Thanks.” He nodded as I took a few more steps away from him.
“I’m surprised you came tonight,” he said as he took a few steps closer to me, eliminating all the breathing room I had established. “This party doesn’t really feel like your scene.”
“That ideology appears to be a running theme,” I mumbled under my breath.
“I have to plead guilty to that,” Teddy interrupted as Tatiana leaned into him. “I practically had to drag her here. Trust me, it wasn’t pretty.”
“That makes sense,” Devilyn replied evenly.
“Are you not a party girl?” Tatiana asked smiling charmingly as she batted her lashes. I couldn’t believe how long they were. And she didn’t have any mascara on. Lucky girl.
“Of course,” I lied defensively.
“You are the furthest thing from that,” Devilyn retorted.
“I meant to say no, not really,” I covered lamely.
“Bookworm?” Tatiana stated.
“I wouldn’t say that either,” I said as I silently prayed the topic of conversation would change quickly, “I guess I’m just more of a—”
“Homebody,” Devilyn finished.
“Not really,” I defended myself. “I go out.”
“No, no I get it,” Tatiana said lifting her hand, “I mean I would be too, if I didn’t have to share my home with him,” she chuckled as she drew Teddy away from us and off onto the dance floor.
And then there were two.
I was nervous. Warm again. Light headed, for sure. I looked away from him as I took a sip of my water. He was staring again.
I knew it.
Could feel it.
I couldn’t take it anymore. Maybe the alcohol had given me the courage I needed, or maybe I just wanted to fight with him. Nice Devilyn was far more dangerous than mean, arrogant Devilyn.
“What is wrong with you?” I asked him suddenly. Irritated beyond reason.
“What are you talking about?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I was invited.”
“Not at the party. In here. In this kitchen. With me. I don’t understand.” There it was, out in the open. I waited for him to reply with some embarrassing let down.
“I like being around you.”
My heart slammed against my chest. He leaned down toward me.
“But I have a question for you.”
I waited unable to break his gaze.
“Why are you wearing so much makeup? Are you looking for attention?” he asked curiously.
The question felt like a slap in the face.
“I’m not looking for anyone’s attention Devilyn.” I turned to leave and was stopped when he grabbed my arm. He pulled me close.
“What I meant to say is that you normally have a very natural look, and tonight you don’t look like yourself.”
“Sorry if my looks offend you. I’ll be sure to stay far away from you tonight so that you don’t need to worry about my appearance, or lack thereof,” I said in a huff as I tried to move away from him. But he wouldn’t let me.
He took a long breath as if he was trying to gain his composure.
“Caroline, don’t walk away. What I was saying came out all wrong. What I meant to say is that, you look beautiful. Stunning, actually.” I stopped breathing. Was I imagining this? Devilyn thought I looked stunning?
“And I just don’t understand why you aren’t at home. I mean, these kinds of parties can get out of control, and you really should be home. Teddy should never have brought you here.”
If I lived to be a hundred I’d never understand him. I said as much a moment later, “I don’t understand you. I don’t understand what you want from me.”
He closed his eyes for a moment. He looked…pained.
“Tell me,” I whispered.
When he opened his eyes they were bright with something I had never seen but recognized instinctively. He leaned into me. I moved close to him. Our lips were inches apart. All the noise in the party disappeared. It was just the two of us together.
Alone.
As I searched his eyes, they seemed to change into something different. Something almost not human. They glowed with a light that I had never seen. I was entranced because I knew he was letting me in. If possible I took a small step closer to him.
“Caroline.”
Before he could say more Jordana rushed over and hugged him from behind, pulling him away from me. The air around me went from hot to cold.
“Hi Caroline,” Jordana said with a sarcastic smile. “You promised me a dance, Devilyn. I’ve been waiting all night.”
“Jordana—” he began.
It was my moment to escape, and I used it.
“Go dance with her, Devilyn. I’ll see you both later,” I managed with a smile as I quickly walked away and tried to gain control.
I looked around the party and knew that I would be spending the rest of the evening entirely alone. A welcoming proposition considering the state of my emotions. I needed to clear my head. Breathe alone. Try and understand what had just transpired.
I pushed my way through the crowd and out the French doors that led outside. I was craving the fresh air. For a second I thought about going home, but then I remembered that Teddy drove. I could always walk, I thought. It would take me a while, but I could certainly use the time alone. I looked down and realized the idea was ludicrous. Bad idea in these shoes.
I took a deep breath and glanced at my watch We had only been there for less than twenty minutes. If I went home now, my parents would think that there was something entirely wrong with me, and they would be so disappointed. And worse yet, I didn’t want to ruin Teddy’s night. This was his moment, if anything, and I wanted it for him. He deserved it.
I looked around the yard and saw a set of swings. I walked over to them; the perfect escape. I grabbed a hold of the long chain and took a seat on the black leather chair and slowly began swaying back and forth.
The stars were out in their amazing glory. The sky was almost completely black, and the tiny lights above created the most incredible scene. Despite my immediate surroundings and the uncomfortable encounter I had just had, it was a glorious night.
“Why are you sitting out here by yourself?”
I was surprised to see Brian Baker standing above me with a drink in hand.
“I was just getting some fresh air. It was a bit stuffy in there.”
He took a seat on the swing next to me and offered me a sip of his drink.
“No thanks,” I said as I shook my head. “Why aren’t you inside?”
“I needed some fresh air, too,” he began. “And I think the only person who’s really enjoying this party is Jordana,” he said, mildly irritated.
“She does seem to be having a good time,” I smiled, looking back at the house. I wondered if they were sharing that dance.
“So what’s your story?” he asked interrupting my thoughts. “I’ve never heard about you dating anyone.”
“That’s because I never really have.”
“That surprises me.”
I shrugged.
“Come on, I’m sure you’ve noticed how everyone has been looking at you.”
I stared at him in complete and utter disbelief.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s got to be the beer talking.”
“I mean it,” he sounded sincere. “Jordana’s new boytoy has been spending more time looking at you than at his girlfriend.”
“You mean Devilyn?”
“Yeah, Devilyn.” He said his name as if he was diseased.
“We’re working on a history project together.”
Brian studied me for a moment. I could feel my cheeks getting red.
“Come on. He’d have to be blind not to think you’re hot.”
My heart dropped again. I didn’t know what to say. Brian sat down in the swing and started to sway back and forth.
“Don’t be so surprised. You’re a good looking girl.”
“Thanks,” I said lamely.
Brian took another sip.
“I just don’t know what the big deal about him is.” I decided it wouldn’t be wise of me to answer Brian. He continued on with his rant, saving me from having to say a word. “So what if he’s rich and attractive? There’s something wrong with him.”
I looked over at Brian when he said that.
“What do you mean?”
He looked me in the eye.
“I know this sounds crazy, and I know that you’re gonna think that I’m jealous or something—”
“I won’t,” I promised.
Brian looked down at his drink and shrugged his shoulders.
“I get that he’s standoffish and that’s attractive to a lot of girls, but there’s something else about him. I can’t put my finger on it, but I will.”
Goosebumps ran up my arms when he said those words.
“What do you mean?”
“Sometimes… sometimes after we practice for football I just watch him,” Brian whispered as he looked around to make sure no one could hear him. “His eyes, Caroline. His eyes, they’re dark. And he, he’s always by himself. Always in control. It’s not normal.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“And on the field—” Brian shook his head and laughed to himself as if he couldn’t believe he was actually sharing this information with me. “It’s like he flies through the air. Glides or something. He always knows where to pass a ball. It’s almost like he’s ten steps ahead of us. And it’s not normal. And it’s not drugs ‘cause I know what that’s like. And this is different. Really different.”
He said the last words with finality and then was silent.
I could hear the sounds of the party slowly fade away as I moved off to my own planet and thought about everything Brian had just said. I was surprised by the way I felt and my reaction. Normal Caroline would have scoffed and discounted everything Brian had said for lunacy or believing he was inebriated. But for some reason I didn’t discount any of it.
“You think I’m nuts don’t you?” Brian asked. I could hear the vulnerability in his voice.
“No. I don’t think you’re nuts. Not at all.”
“So you’ve seen it too?” he said in relief.
I shook my head.
“I haven’t looked for it,” I told him. “But now, maybe I will.”
“Stay away from him. Trust me.”
He jumped off the swing.
“Don’t go anywhere,” he told me as he lifted his cup. “I’m gonna get a refill.”
“Okay.”
“You want anything?”
“I’m good.”
“Give me a second,” Brian said as he ran inside.
I needed more than a second to absorb his words. Dark. Devilyn was dark, he had said. Why did I understand it? How could I even know what he was talking about? I felt as if Brian was right, but at the same time, so wrong. I didn’t even understand my own thought process anymore. A few months earlier, I thought my life was in order. And now, I suddenly felt lost.
And even more alone than ever.
D
I couldn’t endure it a moment longer. I had done the obligatory dance. I had even smiled when one of her friends had said that we made a cute couple. I didn’t want to let her down tonight in front of the entire high school so I promised myself I’d wait to do so in the morning and would hope she’d understand.
She wouldn’t, I knew, but I could always have my hope that being human, she’d suddenly wake up in the morning and not want to be my girlfriend. I could hope that she’d wake up and have a violent distaste for me.
I knew I just had to get through the evening. Jordana was becoming more and more drunk by the moment, and she wouldn’t stop. I knew she wasn’t feeling well because she stumbled past me and ran up the stairs to her room. I was concerned for a moment, but her friends ran up after her giggling at her plight.
Freedom.
I wanted to be with Caroline.
I stepped outside and found her spinning around and around on Jordana’s younger brother’s swing. She looked like a child. Her hair was blowing in the wind as she looked up at the star-filled sky. Only she carried a deep look of concern. And suddenly, I could relate. Watching her on the swings spinning and spinning reminded me of my own life, a life that appeared to be spiraling out of control.
I wondered what she was thinking. So I decided I would ask. “Penny for your thoughts?”
She put her foot down on the ground and stopped her spin. She looked over at me in surprise. I waited for her response, but instead she stared at me for a long while.
“Just thinking.”
I moved closer to her, stopped when I stood right next to the swing. I put my hand on the chain and looked down at her, intentionally wanting to give her a disadvantage. I could tell it worked.
“What are you doing out here?” she asked cautiously.
“I wanted to get some fresh air.” And then I told her, “And I wanted to see what you were doing.”
I could tell that my boldness unnerved her. She looked away from me.
“What I was doing?” she replied curiously. “I was actually having a pleasant conversation with Brian Baker.”
“Brian Baker?” I questioned, suddenly annoyed.
“Yes,” she whispered, seemingly unnerved by my proximity.
“You need to be careful,” I replied, inching closer and closer to her.
“I need to be careful? Of what? Brian Baker?”
“Yes.”
“Yes, why?” she demanded.
“Because I don’t want him to hurt you.”
“What does it matter to you?”
“Because I care.”
She pushed the swing back, trying to put some space between us.
“Have you been drinking, Devilyn?”
“I don’t drink, Caroline.” I took in a deep breath, wanting so very badly to run my fingers through her luxurious hair. “I care very deeply about you, and I don’t want anyone to hurt you.”
Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment. Then she stared at me.
“Honestly Devilyn, I don’t know why it is you’re saying these things, or what you mean. But I do know that you have a girlfriend, and I don’t think she would like it very much if she knew that you were out here saying the things you’re saying.”
She was gripping the chains of the swing like they were her lifeline, but I wanted to be closer to her, and I didn’t care what anyone thought. I grabbed the chains and moved closer until I faced her and slowly leaned in. With the seat behind her, she couldn’t escape. She looked down and I knew my proximity made her uncomfortable, uneasy. Her innocence was written all over her face.
But for some reason I didn’t want her to be shy when it came to me.
“Look at me.” This time I said the words out loud. In an instant her eyes met mine and I saw it. Her honesty. It was all there for me to read. I couldn’t help myself or my reaction. My eyes darkened as my hands moved down the chain and covered hers.
It was a mistake.
I had never felt such an electrical surge course through my body in all of my years. Her skin charged me, rushed through my blood like lightning. I closed my eyes for a moment as I saw flashes of scenes play through my mind. Moments we’d had together and moments that were to come. I could feel my soul sing with pleasure after a lifetime of searching for its other half.
Here it was. Here she was.
“What was that?” Caroline whispered as she looked to where my hands covered hers. I knew she had felt it as well.
“What do you mean?” I tried to remain evasive and in control.
“Did you feel that?” Her eyes held a look of wonder. I couldn’t lie to her.
“Yes.”
She looked up at me and I watched as she took in a deep, steady breath.
“Devilyn.” She made my name sound like an endearment. I wanted to hear her say it again and again. I was losing control.
“Caroline,” I whispered as my gaze ran possessively over her face.
She didn’t answer me. If possible she inched closer and looked up at me in expectation. There was only so much I could take.
I leaned in toward her slowly. Her lips parted as she took in a nervous breath. She knew what was coming. My eyes started to close when we were a breath apart from each other. I held back for a moment and opened my eyes to take it all in. I wanted to savor this moment and remember it forever.
“Caroline. Are you okay?”
I couldn’t believe it. I was so engrossed in the moment that I didn’t even hear him come up behind us. Caroline immediately rose from the swing and pushed herself out of the chains and away from me. I could tell she was embarrassed.
I turned around to face Brian and saw the anger in his eyes. He was justified in hating me. I came to this school and within one day, I had taken his position on the football team, and I had taken Jordana, and now I was about to take his new love interest. He had every right to hate me, in fact I hated myself even more.
“I’m going to go find Teddy, I think I want to go home,” Caroline mumbled as she moved past Brian and me.
“I’ll drive you home,” we both said, simultaneously. My eyes narrowed at Brian. Over my dead body, he’d drive Caroline home. I watched as he looked at Caroline. He was intrigued. I could see it all over his face. I was instantly furious.
“I’ll drive you home Caroline,” Brian repeated. “I just saw Teddy inside and from the looks of things I doubt he’ll want to go home now.”
“You’ve been drinking, and I won’t allow her to get in a car with someone who’s been drinking.”
“Allow?” Caroline said sharply. I knew from her tone that she did not like the sound of that. I shrugged my shoulders. She’d have to get used to it. I wasn’t going to hide from my own words.
“Yes. Allow.”
My gaze met hers evenly. I could tell that she was actually surprised that I owned up to my words.
“I’ll drive you home.”
“I don’t need you to drive me anywhere,” she lifted her phone in her hands. “I’ll just call my father.”
“Your dad?” Brian asked in displeasure.
“Yes, he should still be up. Thanks for the offer Brian. I’m just going to inside and let Teddy know that I’m going home. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” Brian said as we both turned around and watched her walk away.
My eyes immediately glanced back at Brian who was still staring at Caroline with a look of longing.
“Don’t even think about it.” The words came out before I could stop them.
“Excuse me?” I knew Brian was not very happy about what I just ordered, but I didn’t care.
“You heard me.”
Brian threw his drink into the ground and walked over to me in a menacing way.
“You don’t have the right to tell me who or what to think about.”
“In her case I do.”
“What’s with you Reilly?” he all but sneered. “Isn’t one woman enough for you?”
If he only knew the situation I was in, he wouldn’t ask such a ludicrous question.
“Caroline is a friend,” I answered trying to remain cognizant of Jordana’s feelings. I had used her, and I certainly didn’t want to cause her any more pain. “And I’m not going to repeat myself.”
I turned to walk away and was completely caught off guard when Brian grabbed me by the shoulder and spun me around.
“Who the hell do you think you are?!” he shouted at me. I chose not to answer and allowed him to get out the words he needed to say and allowed him to feel superior because I knew that ultimately this was far from a fair match.
“You just waltz into town and think you can take my position on the team?! Take my girl?! And now take any other girl I am interested in?” He continued on in his tirade, “Don’t think I don’t know what you are!”
His words caught my attention. I stared at him evenly as he continued on almost frantically.
“I can see you! I see how you are. How strangely you behave,” Brian watched my face and suddenly pushed himself away from me as if I was diseased. “And you’re not normal.”
No, I’m not, I silently agreed.
I was surprised that the first human to actually take note of the subtle differences between the way I carried myself and the human way would be Brian. But then jealousy was a powerful emotion, and Brian was consumed with obsessing about me.
“Well thank you for your astute observation Brian,” I couldn’t help the sarcasm. “I’ll try not to cry myself to sleep tonight.”
“Screw you, Reilly.” Brian snarled at me as he walked away then came back with a force, “And as for Caroline, she’s an adult and she can make her own decisions.”
It was instant. The fury that punched me in the gut and flowed like magik lava through my veins. I grabbed Brian by the collar and lifted him high in the air. Before I could throw him, as was my intention, Tatiana put her hand on my shoulder.
“Brother,” she said calmly. “What are you doing?”
Ironic that Tatiana would be the one to bring me out of the fog of fury, but I was grateful. I let go of Brian, and he fell to the ground and scrambled up, partly in fear, partly in awe. I knew he believed I was a freak now more than ever.
“Stay away.”
It was all I said. All I had to say before I turned around and walked away from the house.
I turned back for a moment to see Tatiana reach for Brian’s hand and help him up. He was still so shaken up that he could barely move. I had acted impulsively and prayed that no one witnessed our encounter. I knew that Tatiana would clean up my mess, as she had much to lose as well if we were ever detected, and just as I suspected, she reached up and whispered something in Brian’s ear, and he left calmly and without uttering another word.
I met Tatiana’s gaze evenly.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. I haven’t seen you lose your temper like that in a long time.” She was almost in awe. I could see her eyes start to light up.
I couldn’t answer her. I was filled with shame and regret over the lack of control I had just displayed, but I didn’t want to stay and talk to my sister any longer than I had to.
“I’m leaving now. Can I give you a ride?” Tatiana said, watching me carefully.
“No, I don’t think Jordana would appreciate it if I left so soon, but I’ll walk you out to your car.”
We were quiet as we made our way to her car.
“So is that what love is?” Tatiana asked suddenly.
“What do you mean?” I was taken off guard.
“Feeling that rage and possessiveness for someone. Is that what love feels like?”
I couldn’t answer her. She was the last person I wanted to talk to about my feelings. When I silently opened the car door for her, she realized she wasn’t getting anything from me, and I silently hoped that she thought my arduous feelings were directed at Jordana.
“I should have guessed you’d keep it all to yourself,” Tatiana said angrily. She tried to slam the door shut, but I stopped her and yanked it back.
“No, sister, that’s not what love is. What you saw was hate. Anger. Jealousy. All dark and ugly emotions that I wouldn’t wish upon my enemy. Don’t ever covet what you just saw.”
Tatiana was taken aback by the passion in my voice. She nodded slowly and shut the door. I watched her drive off. I turned back toward the house and caught a glimpse of Teddy and Caroline walking to his car.
I took in a deep breath, trying to capture every ounce of her, fearing that I would lose her forever. If anyone had looked at me watching her, they would have known. They would have known that she meant something to me. That she was important. That I couldn’t live without her. They would have known because it was written all over my face.
She was all consuming. She was beautiful, inside and out. She slowly turned and looked back at me.
And my heart stopped beating.
Please
Be
Mine.