xxx
Its kind of a toradora au but because i dont like to completely copy an idea its completely different and bc its fanfic format its not as long and detailed, or as logical. Im still not really happy with it but like ... I really wanted to write something like this ever since i watched toradora and yea idk ... dont be too harsh please. Some of you probably havent watched toradora but that doesnt matter. It's a great manga, an even better anime and the best fucking light novel.
Warnings: One sided Crankiplier in the beginning, also Tyler likes Amy so Tamy??? Tymy?? Idfk its not important anyway. Ethan got bullied in the beginning but he aint taking anyones shit. That's about it, because this is happy and fluffy to distract me from the hell hole called school.
It might look like this story takes place like six day, but id say its actually like months bc why not
Also, Tyler doesn't like ethan very much at the beginning so he calls him "nestor" bc edgy broooo
And the last thing, there are some implied references to your favourite Tyler, horny tyler, mostly because tyler boy here is 19 and yknow
hormones and shit
When Tyler woke up, the first thing he noticed was the smell of eggs and bacon. The second thing he noticed is that the curtains were opened – he forgot to close them yesterday after he came home from his part time job and finished his homework. The third thing he noticed is the obnoxiously loud music that came from his neighbours house.
When Tyler stood up, the first thing he did was stretch. The second thing he did was slip on pants and a t-shirt and the third thing he did was stare at the shadow moving behind his neighbours curtains. Although he heard his neighbour move in a few weeks ago, he had never met them. He was sure his mother baked a pie and visited, but she never told him.
He turned around on his heel and exited his room. The smell of bacon was leading him and probably the only reason he even wanted to get out of bed.
~
His mother was a small woman with a brown bob cut and a friendly, always smiling face. She was wise and came over old – not because of her looks but because of the way she talked. She talked as if she'd seen all the worries in the world.
His mother was also very strong. Tyler's father left them alone when Tyler was nearly one year old, leaving a single mother without a job, barely eighteen. But she did it anyway, working four jobs and still making time every time Tyler drew something or wanted to play. In Tyler's opinion, she was better than a mom and a dad at the same time.
"Hey Ty," she interrupted her humming to greet him as he walked sleepily down the stairs.
"Hey mom," he replied.
~
"Tyler." Tyler shrunk as much as possible into his chair, as if his mother couldn't see him that way. "Are you ready for school?" Tyler groaned. He was 19, and it was his first month in college, and his mom still talked to him as if it was his first day of elementary school.
"Yes, mom," he said, rolling his eyes affectionately. "I brushed my teeth, brushed my hair, packed my bag."
His mom patted his head. "Good. Then what're you waiting for? Get out of here," she started out serious, but ended up laughing.
"Yes Ma'am!" He saluted and left for school.
~
Amy was a pretty girl with pink and blonde hair. She sometimes smiled at Tyler when she walked past him, but sadly they weren't friends.
She was really pretty. Tyler really liked her.
He'd had a crush on her since the first time he saw her. She just looked so pretty with her smooth skin, soft hair and white teeth. She was one of the few reasons Tyler looked forward to class.
~
They arrived at their economics class, Amy took her seat next to Tyler. The wooden desk on the other side of him was still empty. No wonder. Next to him was seated a boy named Ethan.
Ethan was kind of feared in this school. Tyler remembered the day he first met him in detail.
Tyler was trying to blend in with the crowd – which didn't work obviously, it was college. He was maybe a head taller than everyone here, but his bad posture made him look smaller than he was.
"The fuck did you just say?"
Tyler's head snapped up at the harsh voice, just like nearly everyone else. Not much later the sound of a fist colliding with skin echoed through the otherwise quiet hallway. In the middle of the hallway people started forming a circle by taking steps back, and Tyler pushed his way through the whispering students to see what happened.
In the middle of the circle were two students. One of them looked furious, the other just smug.
The one looking smug was a tall boy with shoulder length brown hair. Tyler remembered his name to be Adam or Arin or something. The other one caught his attention though. He was maybe a feet smaller than Aaron and not at all muscled, but judging by the bruises on his knuckles and the bruise on Adrian's face he delivered quite a punch.
He had blue hair, although there were brown roots. He was wearing shorts and a hoodie.
"I said," Alec drawled, mockingly slow. "That you should leave right fucking now, before you bother even more people. Because, you know, that's all you're good at. Bothering people. Your parents –"
Tyler swore there was a blonde holding the blue haired boy back, but now he was nowhere to be seen. As soon as the word "parents" even started leaving Alberto's mouth, there was another sound and the blue haired boy slammed his leg in the small of his back. Amedeus fell onto the ground on hands and knees, and the blue haired boy turned around on his heel.
"Who was that?" he asked to the girl next to him.
"That," she said, scratching the back of her neck, "was "Dynamite" Ethan Nestor."
~
Ever since then Nestor held a special reputation. He was dangerous to be around, ice cold and closed off. He had a few close friends, but mostly was on his own.
The door slammed open and a small figure appeared in the doorway. Talk about the devil, Tyler thought to himself. There was Nestor, strolling through the classroom, hands deep in his pockets. He didn't spare Tyler a single glance.
From besides him Tyler's friend Mark smiled at Nestor. Tyler stared at both of them, confused. Did they know each other? Ethan scoffed and stared straight at his table, so aggressive that he might as well burn a hole in it.
"Hey, do you know him or something?" Tyler whispered to the redhead. Mark shrugged.
"We talked a few times. He's kind of nice. A little weird, but nice. You should too, I think he just really needs some more people to talk too. He looks kind of lonely."
Tyler nodded, focusing on the board where his teacher was scribbling down math.
~
It was later that day, and Tyler and Mark just finished their meeting of the student council, and Tyler was on his way to the classroom to pick up their bags and go home. They would hang out for a while, maybe make some homework.
Oh who was he kidding, he was a college student, they wouldn't make any homework.
On the seat next to the window sat Ethan Nestor. He was seated on the table, crossed legs. He was writing something and softly singing a song – it sounded really good, he'd have to look it up later. It was weird, because it was way past the time he could go home.
"Are you waiting for someone?" Tyler asked, disturbing the nice song. Nestor looked up, looking like a deer in the headlights. He finished scribbling, dropped it in a bag then, grabbed his own bag and ran out of the classroom. His shoulder bumped into Tyler, but he didn't turn around, just kept on running.
Tyler was left behind with a confused stare.
~
"Mom, I'm home!" he shouted when he opened the front door. His mother was making dinner and looked up and smiled. "Welcome home! Did you have a good day?" Tyler's thoughts flashed back to the weird moment in the classroom between Nestor and him.
"Yeah," he said. "It was alright."
~
Tyler barely changed into his pyjama – just some training pants – before he already fell asleep.
Tyler's dreams were filled with Amy, long pink hair waving behind her. Then she dropped something in Marks bag and she drop kicked him, but when he looked up to her face she turned into Ethan Nestor. "What did you say?" a voice yelled at him, but it seemed to come from far away. "I was just asking if you were waiting for someone," Dream Tyler replied, but Ethan stormed away. Then there were footsteps right beside his head and he woke up.
"What the fuck?" he asked himself. He wiped some sweat of his forehead and chest with some sock he found in his bed (hygienic, I know) and sat up straight. Now that he played the dream back in his head, he could barely remember it.
Well, he thought, swinging his legs out of his bed. Now I'm not going to be able to sleep for the rest of the night.
About five minutes into staring at the dark ceiling, Tyler heard a loud sneeze. "Bless you," he said.
"Thanks."
Wait.
What?
Tyler jumped out of bed, switched on the light and grabbed the first thing he could use to defend himself – which apparently was a folded magazine about cleaning.
The light blinded him for a moment but soon he looked right in the eyes of Ethan Nestor.
Ethan's small frame was pressed against the wall, a baseball bat gripped tight in his right hand. He was wearing an oversized plain white t-shirt and pink-blue checked pyjama pants. His blue hair was pulled up into a palm tree ponytail on top of his head. Tyler would have laughed if he wasn't so scared.
The feared Dynamite Nestor was standing in dorky pj's in his bedroom at midnight.
Tyler scanned Nestor up and down.
"Why," he said slowly, "are you in my bedroom?"
And then was when it all started. Ethan tried to back away, but with already having his back pressed to the wall that didn't work. "I just..." he said.
And then he ran towards the window.
"Stop!" Tyler yelled, running towards him. "Stop right there!"
"Fuck off!" Nestor yelled back, dropping his bat and diving towards the – now open, Tyler realized – window.
"Hold it right there," Tyler groaned frustrated, lunging for Nestor's feet and successfully grabbing it. The blue haired boy landed face first on the floor with a muffled "umf" before laying completely still.
"Shit," Tyler mumbled. "Nestor? Nestor? Are you alright?" He shook Nestor's shoulder. "Shit, shit... what do I do, what do I do? I might have killed him..." Tyler grabbed his wrist. "Good, you still have a pulse..."
Suddenly Nestor jumped up and grabbed Tyler by his arm, throwing him over his shoulder. "God, do you ever quit? First you show up in my bedroom, then you attack me..." Tyler spoke with an annoyed undertone, still laying on the floor. Suddenly he stood up, storming towards Nestor, grabbing him by the wrists and pressing him against the wall.
"Let me go," Nestor barked.
"No. You tell me why you're here, and then I'll let you go."
Nestor stopped struggling, going completely still. He looked around the room, casting quick glances to every corner. Finally, his eyes stopped moving and rested on Tyler's school back. Then he looked at his feet, a faint blush covering his cheeks.
"I-I put something in – in the wrong bag..."
Tyler raised an eyebrow. "You put something in the wrong back? Did you confuse my bag with yours?"
Nestor bit his lip. He quickly nodded, the ponytail on top of his head bouncing up and down.
"Then why didn't you just ask me to give it to you?" Tyler asked, still suspicious.
Now it was clear that Ethan "Dynamite" Nestor, the boy with the temper and the power, who attacked everyone that bothered him, was blushing.
"It's p-pretty personal," Nestor mumbled.
Tyler sighed, pulling his arms away and grabbing his bag. "Here," he said, handing Nestor his bag. "Grab what you need and I'll walk you home." Ethan looked up at him, and Tyler beware for the first time just how small he was.
Of course, Tyler was pretty tall, and he knew Ethan was smaller than average, but maybe it was the way Nestor made himself look big and scary, but seeing him pretty helpless and a blushing mess made him look small.
"Thank," he mumbled under his breath, barely loud enough for Tyler to hear. He rumbled through the bag and grabbed an envelope.
For Mark
Tyler looked at the envelope from the corner of his eye. He was planning on turning his back to Nestor, since what he wanted to do was so personal, but the name of his best friend written on that envelope made him curious.
Nestor opened the envelope, then suddenly dropped it. "Hey, Nestor, are you alright?"
"I-I..."
Tears swelled up in Nestor's eyes, not full on crying but obvious he was hurt.
"Ugh!" Nestor grabbed his baseball bat.
"Calm down!" Tyler quickly took the bat from Nestor. "What happened?"
Nestor sniffled. "I'm so stupid. I wanted to –" He looked up at Tyler through his eyelashes. "Wait. Did you see to who this was addressed?" Tyler quickly shook his head – he rarely lied but he was very curious.
"Well, I was writing a l-love letter – to some girl, you probably don't know her – and I-I..." Nestor pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and finger. "I forgot to put the letter in the envelope." He said it quickly, like he was trying to rip off a band aid.
Tyler kind of wanted to laugh, and kind of wanted to comfort Ethan. It was weird – and funny – how the feared Dynamite was clumsy enough to forget to put a love letter in the envelope, then put it in the wrong bag.
On the other hand, seeing a small boy clutching the hem of his big white shirt so hard his knuckles turn white, biting his lip to stop it from trembling, made him unable to laugh. He just couldn't.
"Hey, it can happen to anyone."
This didn't seem to soothe Nestor, and Tyler sighed deeply. "Come with me for a sec."
Nestor followed Tyler to the corner of his room, head down like a lost puppy. "You see this?" Tyler asked, pointing at a big box. Nestor nodded.
Tyler picked up the box and opened it. It was filled with papers and cd's and one book. "These are all songs I wrote and recorded. All of these." Nestor grabbed a random paper. Then he started giggling.
Tyler sat down cross-legged while Nestor was reading the songs he wrote. It was embarrassing but enlightening at the same time. Now, Nestor would know he liked Amy, but he was the only person to know. It was kind of nice to tell someone how he felt about the blonde.
"So, you don't have to be embarrassed. Because you actually found the courage to tell him – uh, her, how you feel about her and I never showed this to anyone before. So what if you forgot it? You did it once and you can do it again!"
Nestor looked at him, confused and a little angry. "Well, you can't just tell me to do it when you didn't even give any of this to Amy!"
"So what do you want me to do?"
Nestor pointed at him. "If you give some of those to Amy, I'll give my l-love letter to M... the girl I like."
Tyler stuck out his hand, waiting for Nestor to shake it. "Deal." Nestor smiled a small smile, but it was over so quickly Tyler almost thought he had imagined it. "Deal."
Tyler stood up, helping Nestor to his feet. "So to make sure you won't trick me..." Nestor begun, grabbing his bat again and swinging it over his shoulder. "Until you give it to Amy, you'll do anything I want you to do."
Tyler raised an eyebrow. That wasn't a very ... balanced request. But how bad could it be? Nestor probably didn't want him to do anything because helping Nestor with his crush would reveal that it was Mark – a guy.
He felt kind of bad. "Hey, let me walk you home," he proposed, grabbing a shirt to put on.
Nestor shrugged. "Not necessary. I can do it myself."
Tyler looked at the time. "It's over midnight. It's dangerous out."
Nestor snickered. "Nah, you stay where you are. I'm home before you can ask to walk me again." With that, he walked up to the balcony of Tyler's room and climbed onto the railing.
"What are you –" Tyler ran towards him, ready to grab him if he fell. But then Nestor jumped, grabbing the railing of the balcony of the flat apartment opposite to Tyler's room.
"Sleep well!" Nestor said cheerily, closing the big window behind him and also closing the curtains.
Tyler stared with a hanging jaw and wide eyes at the pink and white curtains. Nestor was his neighbour?
With a head full of thoughts Tyler went to bed for the second time. He didn't plan to fall asleep, but he did, and this time his night was dreamless.
~
It felt like he had only closed his eyes for a second before his mother opened the door and woke him up. "Tyler, wake up! There is a guest for you downstairs!"
Tyler groaned, sitting up straight and running his hand through his curls. "Who comes visit a college student in the morning?" He pulled on a short sleeved white shirt with some questionable stains on it. "Well, you better not make your guest wait!"
Tyler groaned again, putting on his glasses. When he arrived downstairs, Ethan Fucking Nestor was sitting at the table. Tyler's mother smiled at him. "What is he doing here?" he asked, quiet so that Nestor hopefully wouldn't hear him.
His mother beamed. "He showed up, asking for you, and he was so hungry! Don't his parents ever feed him or something? Well, he is so polite! I didn't know you even had such cute friends Tyler!"
Tyler felt the need to bury his face in his hands, but for his moms sake he fake smiled. "Yeah," he muttered, dismissing his mother's gushing about the schools number one delinquent. "Hey, N-" he cut himself off. It'd be a little strange to address his "friend" with his last name. "What're you doing here?"
Nestor shrug, his mouth full with bread. "Just thought I'd pop by." Tyler cringed when Nestor started talking, giving a nice view of the chewed bread with egg. "Ethan, talk with your mouth closed," Tyler's mother scolded in a friendly way.
Tyler groaned, seeing how his mother had basically adopted him. "Mom, can I have a second with N- Ethan alone?" His mother nodded, ruffled Nestor's blue hair and left the room.
"Ok, I'm gonna get straight to the point – what the fuck are you doing here?"
Nestor kept eating like he hadn't eaten in days. "Your mom is nice. She's also a good cook."
Tyler sighed. "She is. But why are you here?"
Nestor swallowed, then grinned widely. "I thought I'd stop by to take my dog for a walk. But this is really good!"
Tyler sat down on the chair opposite to Nestor's, and sat down with one leg over the other. "But why are you here for real!"
"Well, I want you to do something for me, and I thought I'd pop by to make you do it." Nestor filled his mouth with another portion of bread with egg.
"What did you want me to do then?" Tyler asked.
Nestor averted his eyes, instead focusing on his hands. He pouted slightly.
"C'mon, Nestor, what did you want me to do?"
"...I forgot."
~
"Hey, Amy!" Tyler suddenly stopped his steps, his head quickly turning in the direction of Nestor, who was walking next to him.
"What're you doing?" Tyler hissed, grabbing Nestor's arm.
"Helping you," Nestor said cheerfully. Amy walked over, and Tyler's jaw nearly dropped with how pretty she looked.
But weirdly enough, his throat wasn't dry and his heart wasn't beating against his ribcage.
"Hey Ethan! Hey Tyler."
"Tyler here was planning on watching a movie with me this afternoon, but I can't come. Do you want to take my place?"
Amy looked at Tyler with one raised eyebrow.
"Sorry Ethan," she said with a higher voice than normal. "I can't this afternoon. Sorry Tyler."
~
Later that day Tyler was waiting on Nestor to walk home. But Nestor didn't come. Tyler walked back to the classroom they were in before school ended. Two figures were in there – Nestor and Amy.
"I know what you're trying to do, Ethan. Why are you trying to set me up with Tyler Scheid?"
Nestor was quiet for a moment.
"I need to, Amy, because then he'll try to set me up with Mark."
Amy sighed. "You're crazy, you know that? But I just don't like him in that way but he's nice and I don't want to lead him on, just to be part of your plan.
"I know. Honestly, I didn't think you would."
~
This repeated for a few days. Nestor would show up at his house for breakfast, then they would walk to school. They would also walk home together, even if they didn't want to – it was kind of hard to avoid your neighbour. Neither one of the boys had made any progress with their crush, but that would come.
They told themselves that at least.
"Have fun at school, boys!" Tyler's mother waved at the two as they walked towards school. Tyler made sure they had at least an arm's length between them, but occasionally glanced over to Nestor. The closer they were to the school, the more his body language changed.
In the beginning, Nestor skipped sometimes, just like a little hiccup between steps. But only when he thought Tyler wasn't looking. But when they neared the school he stopped, his back became straighter and he fidgeted at his clothes to make them perfect.
"I made up my mind."
Nestor's clear, slightly high-pitched voice tore through the silence. He was still not looking at Tyler, instead looking straight forward.
"Made up your mind about what?"
There was the slight hitch in both Nestor's breath and step, and Tyler didn't miss it.
"I'm going to confess."
Tyler whipped his head around, wide eyes focusing on the boy walking next to him. Nestor was now looking down at his feet, his hands tightened into fists. There was a slight blush on his face that Tyler pretended to ignore.
"..really?"
He didn't know why that made him so nervous. Probably because that meant he had to confess to Amy too, and that was what made his heart beat so fast it hurt and his breath quicken.
~
Nestor had walked quickly forward, as if he was ashamed to be seen next to Tyler. So Tyler continued slightly lonely. He snorted. He had gotten so lonely, he even missed the quiet footsteps of his least favourite person.
"Mark!" A high-pitched voice pierced the air. The red-haired boy turned around and there was Ethan Nestor, his blue hair falling into his face and his eyes focused on the ground. It wasn't difficult for Tyler to guess what was about to happen. For Mark however, it was.
"What's up, Ethan?" he asked, a goofy grin on his face.
Tyler hid behind a wall, not knowing why he felt like intruding. Mark and Nestor were doing this in a public place, there weren't many people around but it was still public.
"Mark... I need to tell you something."
"You're kind of scaring me Ethan, with you being so serious and all... What's wrong?"
Nestor bowed forward, his eyes still on the ground. "Mark, I like you! I've liked you for a while now. I-I hope you accept my confession!"
Mark was silent for a moment. "Ethan..." Nestor bit his lip until it turned white. "You know I like you. I think you're cool and sweet but... I just don't like guys like that. And I won't apologize for that, but I'm sorry that you have to feel this way about me."
Tyler felt sorry for him at the moment. Not only did he get rejected, he got rejected in the worst way possible – with kindness. It was like ripping off a Band-Aid. Just get it over with, it will hurt for a bit and then be over, but being rejected in such a way, that would sting for a while.
Mark pulled Nestor in for a hug, but the blue haired boy's arms stayed straight by his sides. It looked like he had become a puppet. "I'm sorry," Mark said. "I'm really sorry."
Then he slowly walked away.
~
Tyler watched as Nestor sank to his knees, his hands in front of him. He watched as he melted down to a small ball of pity, of sadness. It was as if the air around him turned black. Suddenly he stood up, his knees wobbling. He walked straight in the opposite direction as the school.
"Nestor!" Tyler shouted, running after him. But Nestor didn't stop. "Nestor, come here!" It looked like he was walking even faster now. Tyler took a deep breath, standing still.
"Ethan!"
The single name almost seemed to block out every other sound. Nestor – no, Ethan – suddenly stood still but didn't turn around. Tyler ran towards him, grabbing his hand but letting go when Ethan pulled it away with a soft cry.
"Come with me," he said softly. "Let's get you cleaned up."
He gently lead Ethan to his house where he washed the torn apart skin on his hands and knees. Then he dried Ethan's cheeks with a towel and gave him a change of clothes – a way to big white t-shirt which could basically be worn as a skirt and a pair of jogging pants. And some fluffy warm socks.
"I'm gonna call us in sick, alright?"
Tyler didn't understand how someone could be so sad from a rejection. Ethan must have really loved him.
First Tyler faked his own sickness, telling the school he was his mother and that he was sick. Then he called like he was Ethan's father.
"Oh, mister Nestor?" Tyler cringed at the high pitched giggle on the other side. "I haven't heard from you in a while! You're back living with Ethan?"
"Uhh yeah," Tyler coughed out in a deep voice. Ethan's dad didn't live with him? Maybe he was from divorced parents too. The high pitched giggle was back and faker than ever. Was this chick flirting with Ethan's dad?
"Anyway, I hear Ethan in his room so I have to hang up."
"Ok," the voice on the other hand said. "Call me sometime, will you?"
"Uhh, definitely. Later!" He pressed the red phone as quickly as he could. "Well, that was uncomfortable."
He walked back to Ethan, who was still seated in the exact same spot and position as he had left him.
"Why are you being so nice?" Ethan's voice was small, so small and hurt that Tyler's heartbeat paused with shared pain. Ethan still didn't look up, simply removed Tyler's hand that was cleaning the wound on Ethan's knee.
"Because I care about you as a human being, alright? You're in pain and I was not just going to leave you on your own. Even if your mother is home or something, she didn't –"
Tyler was cut off by Ethan. "My mother isn't home. She never is."
His father doesn't live with Ethan, and his mother doesn't either? "Then who takes care of you?" Tyler asked.
"I do."
"So what, you cook yourself, clean the house yourself?"
Ethan shrugged. "I don't feel the need to clean. And usually I order take out. It's easier that way."
Tyler grabbed the younger boy tightly by the shoulders. "You live alone, and don't know how to properly take care of yourself, and yet you ask me why I am nice to you?"
This time Ethan did look up. He glared at Tyler from under his messy blue bangs. "Because it's bad for you."
"Why would it be bad for me?"
Ethan bit his lip again. "Did you see the complete confession?" He didn't even wait for Tyler to nod, just continued. "H-he said he thought w-we were a couple. So if other people think that you'll have less chance with Amy."
Tyler was stunned for a moment. "Ethan, you know two people can be friends without being attracted to each other right? Just because we are a lot around each other doesn't mean we immediately are going out. So they will have to believe that too. I'm going to admit, Ethan, I like you. And I want to be your friend. I don't want to stop walking you to school, or miss you sitting at our table, just because of rumours."
Tyler looked up from Ethan's knee, just to be faced with a crying Ethan. "Ethan – what – did I say something wrong?"
Ethan shook his head and jumped into Tyler's lap, hugging him tightly. Tyler rested his chin on top of Ethan's head, the hair tickling his chin.
Tyler tried not to think about how perfectly he fit there.
~
Tyler's mother woke Tyler up the next morning. The room was filled with sunlight, but something didn't quite feel right. His mother wasn't smiling widely like normally.
"Mom? Is something wrong?"
She shook her head, her brown hair flying comically around her face. "Nothing. But I'm worried. Ethan isn't here yet."
It took a few seconds before the words came to Tyler. But when they did, Tyler shot up, jumping out of his bed, barely to put on a shirt.
"Ethan wouldn't miss breakfast," he mumbled to himself. Ethan had told him himself he couldn't cook, so would he just skip it completely? "I'm going over there."
~
Tyler walked over to the flat apartment, barefoot. His heart was beating fast. Did it have something to do with yesterday? He didn't think Ethan would do anything horrible to himself, but yesterday he seemed pretty messed up. Maybe Tyler himself said something wrong?
"Ethan?"
He didn't actually know the house where he lived, but with logic he found out what apartment was facing his room.
"Ethan?" he repeated, knocking on the door. Ethan didn't respond. Maybe he wasn't home? He turned the doorknob. It was open. Tyler shook his head, making a mental note to tell Ethan to close his fucking door.
The first thing he noticed was how spacious and big the apartment was. It was one big room with a build in kitchen, and four doors, one probably leading to Ethan's bedroom and one to the bathroom. Tyler had no clue what the other two were for.
It had barely furniture, just a table, some chairs and a couch. There was a big television on the wall, and a few boxes in the corner. There were no decorations, and it gave a dead look off. It was almost as if nobody lived here.
The second thing he noticed was the awful smell. He pinched his nose, trying to find the cause of the smell without having to smell it again. He ended up in the kitchen – the cause was the sink. There were disgusting green and brown smears everywhere, probably once food.
Tyler felt his hands itch to clean it. But right now he had other priorities. If Ethan kept sleeping or whatever he was doing, he would be late for school. He knocked on all the doors, not knowing which one was Ethan's room. He didn't respond.
He walked into all of them. Why the fuck does his house have three bedrooms? I thought he lived alone. In the last bedroom was a big bed, and curled up in the blankets he could barely see the upper half of Ethan's face.
Tyler smiled. Ethan looked kind of adorable. He didn't snore, just let out this kind of weird breathes. "Ethan!" Tyler stretched the last syllable. Ethan opened one eye, let out a soft yawn and sat up straight.
"Whaddup?" he asked, his voice laced with sleep.
"We're going to be late for school, so hurry up!"
Ethan's both eyes opened. "Tyler, it's Saturday."
Tyler was quiet for a moment. A long moment.
"Oh," he finally said. Ethan laughed. "But you'll come over for breakfast right? My mother is worried."
Ethan nodded, throwing off the blanket. Tyler wanted to say something, but his head was suddenly empty and his voice disappeared.
Ethan was wearing blue pyjama shorts, like really short. It was paired up with a wide cut striped t-shirt that showed off his collar bones. He had great legs, Tyler noticed. And a great ass. But what maybe shook him the most, and made him blush the most, were the long, thigh high socks that clung to his legs.
Tyler had to focus on the least hot thing in the room to calm down. He didn't think that Ethan in thigh highs and shorts was something he'd see, like, ever. Let alone find it attractive, hot even.
He told himself it was because Ethan looked like a girl, but he knew it wasn't.
"E-Ethan," Tyler managed to get out.
Ethan turned his head around slightly. He hummed as a question, before it hit him.
"Oh, sorry," he said, his face flushing a bright red. "S-sorry, I'll change." He went into the bathroom and returned with a black pullover hoodie and some skinny jeans.
Ethan didn't meet Tyler's eyes until they reached the end of the apartment. "Ethan, you uhh..."
"I'm not trans or anything, if that's what you're thinking." Ethan knew exactly what Tyler wanted to say – well, what he wanted to talk about, but didn't know how to ask him about it. "I just like to feel cute sometimes, ok? Laugh at it all you want, but I'll keep wearing whatever I want when I'm at home."
"Ethan, I'm not going to laugh at you! If you like wearing it, then why don't you wear it?" Tyler didn't mention that Ethan might have given him a sexuality crisis and he might want to see it again, preferably later at night.
He pushed those thoughts away as quickly as possible, instead focusing on Ethan's blushing face.
"I don't want to be laughed at," he mumbled. "People think it's weird. I don't want to be weird."
Tyler grabbed Ethan by the wrist and tried not to think about how weak and fragile it felt. He dragged Ethan back to his room.
"Tyler, what the fuck are you doing?"
"You can wear whatever you want. If someone laughs, you can punch them in the face. And I'll help by glaring at them angrily."
Ethan looked up at him, and again Tyler was reminded of how small he was.
"You'd really be ok with that?"
Tyler wondered why Ethan was asking him for permission. But he nodded anyways. He opened the closet – again he had to remind himself he was helping a person here, and not trying to rediscover his sexuality.
It was filled with everything, from dark coloured skinny jeans – which had to be so tight they would look like they were painted on Ethan – to pink skirts and shorts. "Holy shit."
Ethan looked at him quickly before he focused on his wardrobe. He pulled out some things, a pair of denim shorts and white knee high socks, a purple oversized t-shirt and some platform boots.
Ethan came out of the bathroom, clearly embarrassed but also looking relieved.
"You ready?" Tyler asked, eying Ethan up and down. The younger only nodded.
~
Tyler's mother had smiled motherly when Ethan entered the house, but further didn't say anything. Ethan was grateful, it made him feel like it was normal. Thanks to his friend's mother, who was like a mother to him too, he felt relaxed and comfortable.
Tyler noticed the change in Ethan's body language. He was glad for Ethan, and he was proud of Ethan. Seeing him all shy like before was cute, very cute, but he wanted to have the loud, laughing Ethan that hiccupped because he was laughing so much. He also kind of wanted to pull him onto his lap, feel his soft skin and kiss him senseless.
Ethan and Tyler's mother talked about who knows what, while Tyler wondered when the person he wanted to kiss changed.
~
It didn't feel like before at all.
Before, when he was so sure Amy was his one true love he just wanted to kiss her. He wasn't able to talk around her properly. He wanted to call her his.
Now that he was pretty sure he liked Ethan, he just wanted to make him happy. He didn't care if Ethan didn't like him back. Tyler's fist clenched. Ok, maybe he wanted Ethan to like him back. But he wasn't as obsessed with changing himself to fit the image of a perfect guy.
He wanted to hold his hand and kiss him, take him out for dinner and snuggle with him while watching a movie. He wanted to do everything he could with him.
Tyler wondered when along the way he had fallen in love. Was it when he picked him up from the mess he was after his confession?
The memory of the confession alone was enough to send chills down Tyler's spine. No, it was before that. Maybe one day when they were walking home together? Or when he comforted him after Ethan broke in to his house? Even before that?
Ethan's voice pulled him back into the present. "Tyler, are you alright?"
Tyler nodded. "Yeah, I-I just think I need some fresh air. Wanna go get groceries with me?" He touched Ethan's arm quickly. Even those friendly touched he shared had been given a complete new meaning.
Ethan suddenly looked uncomfortable again. "In these clothes?"
"I think you look great," Tyler's mother interrupted.
"Thanks," Ethan mumbled looking down at his feet. "Sure, let's go..."
"Awesome, let me get my coat and we can go."
~
It wasn't cold outside, but it became hard not to grab Ethan's hand. Tyler wondered how it would feel. Soft and warm, and it would totally fit in his. No, bad Tyler. Ethan likes Mark. Don't ruin this for him.
Talk about the devil, the red-haired boy he was just thinking about walked into view.
"Hi Ethan! Hi Tyler." He was cheerful as always, but his undertone faded when he eyed Ethan. "Wow, Ethan, you look..." Tyler heart was beating hard and fast. He didn't want Ethan to be hurt, especially not by the guy he loved.
"You look good," Mark finished, turning to Tyler. "Are you two on a date?" he asked.
Tyler was already trying to form a sentence, when Ethan grabbed his arm and hold tight onto it. "Yeah," Ethan mumbled, dragging Tyler with him. "See you at school, Mark!"
Once Mark was out of view, Tyler looked at the small boy attached to his arm. It just felt right.
"Why'd you do that?"
Ethan sighed. "I-I just don't want to talk to him right now, ok?"
Tyler nodded. That he could understand. They went to the store and all the time Tyler couldn't stop thinking, thoughts racing through his head.
He just wanted it to be real.
~
The next day, Ethan came over, but shaking on his legs and a permanent blush on his cheeks. It didn't take a genius to figure out he was sick.
Tyler rushed towards Ethan, who looked like he was about to fall down. His eyes were half-closed, he was panting and when Ethan grabbed Tyler's arm to support himself, his hand was clammy and cold.
"Ethan, you shouldn't be here, go back home and go rest!"
Ethan looked up at him with a half-smile that tugged on Tyler's heart. "And skip breakfast?" he joked. Tyler shook his head. "I'll make you some breakfast. You need to rest."
Scowling Ethan complied and let Tyler lead him to his apartment. Tyler took of his own jacket and laid it over a chair, and started getting comfortable.
Firstly he cleaned up the disgusting mess in the kitchen, so it was at least usable. He made eggs, bacon and toast – Ethan's favourite. When he entered Ethan's bedroom again, the blue haired boy looked like he was sleeping. But when Tyler put down the breakfast on his nightstand, Ethan opened his eyes. "Tyler...can you do me a favour?"
Tyler nodded. At this point he felt like he would go through the end of the world for the boy.
"When you go to school tomorrow, will you ask Danny to come over here? I need to talk to him."
Tyler knew who "Danny" was. A tall, skinny boy with a big head of curls and red eyes from smoking pot all the fucking time. Tyler was almost jealous of him, because why did he get a nickname and Tyler not? But he told himself to calm down, because Ethan was allowed to have friends besides Amy.
Danny was also known for having some kind of show, The Saint Of Broken Hearts or some bullshit. Apparently people who were lovesick or had a broken heart could talk to him, be it anonymous or not, and he would have a team of people to help that poor person.
Tyler had watched it once, and found it straight up weird. Who would want to get confessed to through a stupid show?
"Sure," he said.
Ethan smiled. "Thank you." His voice was soft and it made Tyler's stomach tie in a knot. "Could you sing for me? My dad ... he used to sing when I was sick. It made me feel better."
Tyler swallowed. Ethan probably remembered that he wrote songs for Amy. Or, well, apparently for Ethan now. Then he nodded.
"Last night
I knew what to say
But you
Weren't there to hear it
These words
So well-rehearsed
Tong tied
And overloaded
You'll never notice
I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words
About a girl..."
He had written it when he realized that Amy wasn't the person he wanted. Probably never was. He wanted to tell Ethan, but also didn't.
Ethan smiled. "Pretty ... I'm sure Amy will like it."
Tyler felt like he had been punched in the stomach.
~
The next day at school, Tyler felt like even in the crowd he was alone without Ethan by his side. He remembered when Ethan had talked to Amy after school, and he felt like he just couldn't leave without him.
Above the crowd, walking together with the boy Ethan had fought on the first school day, Tyler spotted a head of curls, bouncing up and down with every step Dan walked.
"Daniel?" Tyler yelled, catching the curly haired boys attention.
"Yeah, what's up man?"
"Uh, Ethan asked me if you could come over to his after school. I don't know what it's about."
Dan clicked his tongue. "Sure thing. You can tell him I'll be there."
~
Ethan laid in his bad, curled up like a cat. He was panting heavily, and his hair curled at the end because of how much he was sweating. In the distance, he could hear the door open, but it seemed far away.
"Hey, Ethan, I-"
"Danny!" Ethan said, but even that word cost him much energy.
"I-"
Ethan cut him off again. "You...don't really do a good job being the saint of broken hearts y'know..."
He closed his eyes again, talking without looking Danny in the eyes. "I don't want to be on the show, you know that, but my heart still hurts. Can't you help me get over him? Because every time I'm with him, I remember why he sticks around. Because he want something from me – my best friend. And it hurts."
Ethan pressed his hands against his forehead. "It hurts so much, Danny! Please stop it!" Ethan yelled out, crying. It was a heart-breaking sighed. "I don't want to be in love with Tyler, Danny, I don't! I want to get over this so he can be happy without me being selfishly unhappy!"
Danny was quiet. "I understand," he said softly. "I'll do what I can."
The footsteps faded, and when the door opened, Danny was there and Tyler walked out of the room.
~
Tyler pressed his face into his pillow. He wanted to tell Ethan he felt the same. He wanted to hold him close and never let him go. But he knew that if he told him what he heard, he would break the trust he had so slowly build.
It hurt. It hurt so bad.
~
Tyler came for the first time in three weeks back from a student council meeting. He was still in there, but the people were just a little inactive. He was thinking about quitting – it had become just a place for people who thought they were better than others to hang out instead of actually trying to improve the school.
He looked through the window of the classroom and saw a shadowy figure, seated on one of the tables. He had the feeling this had happened before and when he opened the door, he was almost opening his mouth to greet Ethan, when he saw who it was.
Instead of the bright blue hair he was expecting he was met with blonde and pink like cotton candy. Instead of Ethan, he was met with Amy.
"Oh, hi Amy," he said, finding how much easier it was to talk to her.
"Hi Tyler," she greeted back.
It was still kind of awkward. But also nice. He thought that now he was sure of his feelings, they might be able to become friends. Amy was a nice girl after all.
"What're you doing here so late after school?" Tyler asked.
Amy shrugged. "Just waiting for someone," she said dismissively. "What about you?"
Tyler pointed at the bag laying on the table next to Amy. "I just came back from the student council meeting." He walked over to his back and was about to sling it over his shoulder when Amy grabbed his arm.
"Tyler, can I ask you a favour?"
At that moment the door slammed open. Both Tyler and Amy whipped their heads around, focusing on the familiar small boy in the doorframe.
Ethan's eyes were wide opened, focusing on the hand on Tyler's arm. His mouth was slightly open, but more in a "I ran here" way that a shocked way. Suddenly he turned around on his heel and ran away.
"Shit," Tyler breathed, realizing how it must have looked from a different point of view. A boy and a girl, alone in a classroom after school. The girl holding the guy close, and their faces close together.
Suddenly Amy jumped up, running towards the door.
"Ethan!" she yelled. She looked at Tyler. "What're you doing? Get the fuck up and go after him!" She ran towards the direction Ethan went in.
~
Ethan ran and ran. After a while he wasn't even aware he was anymore. He just wanted to leave.
Tyler had confessed. And Ethan wanted to be happy for him, he really wanted. But he couldn't. Ethan had accepted that he had feelings for Tyler, that he was in love, but he didn't want to stand in the way of Tyler's love life.
He had told himself that he would be fine with it, as long as he could at least see him. But now he realized – he had been depending on him. He had been attached to him in a way he shouldn't, and now he didn't want Tyler in any other way.
"Selfish, selfish," he panted to himself.
He could hear voices echo through the hall but he didn't want to stop and listen.
~
Tyler ran together with Amy through the hallways. "Ethan!" Tyler yelled, his tracks faltering but he immediately picked up speed again.
Amy stopped running, her head down and her blonde hair messed up.
"Tyler," she said, barely out of breath. "He already left the school."
"How do you know?"
She pointed at a window. In the distance, he could see a figure with blue hair running away.
"He's going towards the bridge, he always went there when he wanted to escape others or himself. He'll be there, don't keep him waiting."
~
The sky was dark as he finally spotted Ethan, leaning on the railing of the bridge. He was only visible in the light of the moon and stars.
"Ethan." He leaned next to the smaller boy, and they were silent.
"You know, my dad's business went bankrupt when I lived there."
Tyler was caught off guard by the sudden, seemingly random sentence. But nevertheless he mentioned to Ethan to keep going, even if it was just to hear his voice.
"He told me to go live with my mom. But she already has a new family. Her new son is tall and manly and strong, and her new husband doesn't even like me. I wasn't needed there. How... how could I fit with a family like that? I'll just put them to shame.
He came to me this summer, right before I met you. He told me he wanted to fix things, to live with me again. He almost took me away from here. I was so naïve. I just went back with him like a sheep.
Then he became his old self again. He left me to feel more alone than I ever did in my apartment. He promised he would be with me, then he left me to go on a date with his new girlfriend.
Because of me, everyone..."
Tyler interrupted him, not looking at him but leaning with his back against the railing so they faced opposite directions.
"I've always thought the same thing. If I hadn't been born, my mom would have been so much happier. She could have stayed with the man of her dreams, and lived a rich life. She could have finished her education and become whatever she wanted."
He was vaguely aware of Ethan whispering his name.
"Adults are selfish. They bring other trouble because of their own problems. But sometimes, I think I am the problem."
"Tyler!" Ethan grabbed Tyler by the waist and pressed his head into his stomach area, because that's as high as he could reach. Tyler thought that Ethan was small, but today, they were both small.
Ethan hugged Tyler tightly.
"Don't say things like that! Don't look down on life, on yourself like that! Idiot! What can you solve by wishing you were never born? How could you say something like that? I'm still here, because of you!"
Tyler's eyes widened. Ethan pulled back, but kept his head bowed and his hands buried in Tyler's shirt.
"No matter who you like, no matter who you spend your life with, I don't care! I just want to be able to see you, to be your friend! I just want to be able to see you, Tyler Scheid! So don't you say things like "if only I had never been born!""
Tyler sat down on the railing once Ethan pulled back, aggressively wiping his eyes. Tyler hated that. He didn't want to be the one that made Ethan cry.
It happened slowly, like a moment in a slow motion movie. He saw Ethan's worried face filled with tearstains and then he saw the sky. It took a moment to realize that he was falling.
He knew it would be alright because the water wasn't deep, instead it was just a huge pile of soft sand to cushion his fall.
It was cold, and he was shaking. But his heart was pounding in his ears and he saw Ethan's face and suddenly the cold went away. He looked up, locked his eyes with Ethan.
"When we finish college, you can marry me!"
Ethan's face became all kinds of red. "What are you saying? Marry you?"
"I know I've got it all in the wrong order. First you should date, then after years and years you can marry each other. But I want to spend my life with you too! And I don't care how other people do it, because we are not like other people! My life will be yours until I die! I love you, and if you decide you don't want to in the years that come, then you can tell me. But, Ethan Nestor, I want to marry you! "
Suddenly there was a splash and Tyler was faced with a soaking wet Ethan Nestor. "Tyler, I-" He sniffled. "I really love you. God, I fucking love you! I was so scared and selfish, Tyler. I'm sorry, I know-"
Ethan was cut off with a tight embrace.
"I heard your confession when you mistook me for Dan. I knew it wasn't meant for me, but I have been in love with you for probably even the first time we met. I don't even remember when I fell for you, but I do know that since I met you I've been happier than I ever remember. And I want to spend the rest of my life this happy. You don't have to say yes if you don't want to, but-"
"Yes."
Tyler was stunned.
"Yes, I want to marry you. I want to marry you and I want to stay your fiancée until we graduate together, and from that moment on we'll be husband and husband."
The smile Ethan send him was honest to God blinding, and Tyler knew that all those painful moments were worth whatever came their way.
~
"So, I guess, we'll have to tell my mother..."
Tyler no longer had to dream about how it would feel to have Ethan's hand in his. It was cold, because of the water, and so small and fragile.
Ethan nodded, his face still bright red.
They reached the house in what felt like forever. But it felt good. If this is what life with Ethan felt like, then he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
His mother opened the door, glanced at their intertwined hands, and simply smiled.
"Mom," Tyler started. "Ethan – Ethan and I are going to be married."
Tears fell down her cheeks, but her smile was wider than ever. "After college, I suppose?"
Tyler nodded. "Can Ethan stay the night?"
~
Ethan looked down at his bare feet, wiggling his toes. His feet were on a soft mattress, that Tyler's mother had shoved next to Tyler's.
"I-I guess since we're going to be married, this shouldn't be a problem should it?"
Tyler shook his head.
"Tyler, can we practise?"
Tyler had to try really hard to not think dirty at that. "Practise what?"
"W-well, if we're going to be married, we should k-kiss."
Tyler smiled, leaned down and pressed his lips against Ethan's. It was short, but the taste of Ethan made his head clouded with nothing but the blue haired boy himself.
"Was that ok?" he asked, insecure when Ethan looked away.
"A-again."
Tyler kissed him again, longer this time. He closed his eyes, and Ethan did too. All the wounds caused by the incredible fear of losing him, were healed as he enjoyed the feeling.
"Better?"
"Again."
This time Tyler kissed like he had never kissed before. All his passion, his feelings, all the frustration and sadness he had been exposed to in the months since he had met Ethan. All the times he wanted to tell Ethan he loved him, he could express them now.
He finally pulled back after kissing him over and over again.
"You know, that was my first time making out," Ethan laughed nervously.
Tyler just smiled.
"God, I love you, future husband."
"I love you too, future husband."
Aaaaaaand cut
That was a rollercoaster. Can you tell I finished this at over midnight? Aaah whatever. I hope you enjoyed. I really wanna update more often again, so stay tuned for a next chapter in the new year
Happy new year, everybody!
And im not saying i love dan avidan but oh man i love dan avidan
haha daniel avidaniel