Chapter 4: Guess That's Why They Call It Window Pain
*Julia’s P.O.V.*
My eyes kept flickering to my phone as everyone chatted around the table eating pizza. It was currently 7:20, and my plan was to excuse myself at 7:30. Or 19:30 or whatever. Ugh, that was just another problem to worry about: converting the time. I was all caught up in my thoughts about Todd and what to wear and such when Michelle pulled me back to reality. “So Julia,” she began, catching my attention. I whipped my head towards her, signaling that I was listening. “Has Todd texted you yet?” she teased playfully. I blushed a bit, my heart tightening at the mention of him. I saw Louis tense through my peripheral vision, and I have to admit, it made me kind of happy that the thought of Todd texting me bothered him. I decided to bother him even more. I mean he kind of deserved it for all the confusion he was putting me through with all of his mixed signals and such.
“Well, yeah,” I replied casually, taking another bite of pizza.
“What did he say?” Louis and Megan interrogated in unison, though with much different tones. Meggy sounded excited and intrigued, but Louis sounded angry, annoyed, worried, and maybe even a bit jealous, unless that was my heart getting the best of me. But wait, Louis didn’t have my heart anymore; I was moving on to Todd now.
“Oh ya know, just stuff,” I answered, laughing in my head as I gave no details away. Besides, Louis couldn’t know that I was going out to see him because then he’d just try to stop me, or maybe even come with me. Ya never know with Louis.
“What kind of ‘stuff’?” Louis questioned further. I had been avoiding eye contact, but then I stared right into his pale turquoise eyes, breaking my own heart as I did so.
“Stuff.” He just looked at me, glaring a bit. But his eyes looked more sad than angry. A slight awkwardness hung around in the air, and I’m pretty sure everyone could feel the uncomfortable tension between Lou and I. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m not feeling very well,” I lied lamely. I walked from the dining room into the kitchen, putting my dishes in the sink before heading upstairs. Sydney and Niall had managed to spark up a conversation again, but I could feel Louis’ speculative eyes on me as I passed. I shrugged it off, reminding myself that I had a date with Todd.
I reached my room and had to stop myself from slamming the door shut out of frustration. I crossed the room to my closet (which I had already sorted into rainbow order to calm myself) and tried to focus on picking out an outfit. But I couldn’t get Louis’ eyes out of my mind. His beautiful, ocean colored eyes that lured me in, the whirling mixture desperation, anger, pain, longing, and all these other unidentifiable emotions that haunted me. I forced myself to focus on my outfit, picking out a navy tank top with ruffles and bright pink shorts. Once I had them on and had tried on every single one of my belts at least twice, deciding on the first one I had chosen, I went to the bathroom and brushed out my straight shoulder-length brown hair obsessively. I swear I put on mascara, took it off, and then put it back on again about three times before I was satisfied. I jumped as my phone vibrated quite obnoxiously on the bathroom counter. I picked it up and smiled wobbly as I read the name on the screen: Todd.
Todd: I’m here(:
Me: Coming(:
I made my way downstairs carefully, pleased to see that Louis and Haley were both out of sight. I tried to tip toe out, but it was impossible to leave without being seen by Liam, Sydney, Harry, Megan, and Niall, who were lounging around in the living room. “Where are you going?” Liam questioned, using his Daddy voice. I froze a bit before turning around.
“I’mgoingtoseeTodddon’ttellLouisbye!” I whisper shouted in a rushed jumble before spinning around and bolting, not even caring about their reactions. I closed the door softly, quite aware the Louis’ bedroom was right above me. I tip toed over to the lake where I saw Todd’s boat waiting for me, praying Haley was doing her job and Louis couldn’t see me from his window.
But strangely enough, part of me wanted Louis to catch me. A large part, actually. It wanted him to come bursting through the back door and sprint down the lawn, not letting me go. It wanted him to scream at me because he loved me. But he didn’t love me. I reminded myself off that as Todd’s figure became more clear as I got closer. The sun was gradually descending, getting closer and closer to setting. “Hello, beautiful,” he greeted me, flashing me his perfectly white smile. I blushed. No one really called me beautiful much. Well, except for Louis on random occasions… Stop thinking about Louis! I ordered myself.
“Hey,” I replied with a grin. I walked down the wooden dock, observing the boat cautiously. I had never really ridden in a motor boat before. Todd extended his hand out for me and I took it gratefully, trying to hop into the boat as gracefully as possible. I failed. I stumbled back as the boat bobbed and shifted, but he caught me in one arm and used the other grip onto the dock, keeping us stable. I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck to save myself, and we kind of stayed in that position for a second as his steely, yet alluring grey blue eyes stared into mine.
“Well, let’s get going,” he smiled, letting go of me as I found my balance. I returned it, sitting in the passenger’s seat as he took the wheel. His accent was just as gorgeous as any other British guy. Well, except Louis’… Stop it! The motor roared to life, and my heart leapt, thinking there was no possible way that Louis couldn’t hear a noise that loud from his window. I turned around in my seat, looking up at the middle window of the second story on the backside of the house. Sure enough, the curtains parted to reveal Louis’ face, with Haley behind him, failing to redirect his attention. I stared up at him longingly, watching his face change from shock, to anger, to longing, and finally to disappointment. We had eye contact the entire time, and even though it broke my heart to see him like that, I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I stared until his image was just a speck. “So how are you?” Todd asked politely, bringing me back to the boat.
“I’m wonderful,” I replied, not really convincing myself. “And you?”
“Just dandy, now that I’m with you.” He smiled and I giggled a bit. He looked at me, a bit confused, and I realized that he was actually trying to be sweet or something.
“Well thanks,” I blushed, looking down. If Louis had told me that I would’ve smacked him while cracking up at his dorkiness. Stop bringing your mind back to Louis! But I couldn’t help but turn around, gazing up at the middle window on the second story. My heart broke when I saw that the curtains were now drawn.
“What, did you like sneak out?” Todd asked in amusement. I mentally shot myself for being so obvious and forced out a giggle.
“Sort of,” I answered vaguely. He looked at me intently, almost studying me. I tried to avoid his gaze and look away, but I was captivated.
“You’re so vague and mysterious,” he commented. I just smirked a little and shrugged.
“Well I’m not trying to be,” I replied honestly.
“Exactly what makes you so amazing,” he responded in slight astonishment, smiling at me as we reached his dock. I just smiled bashfully again, wondering how he could think that about me already as he tied the boat up to the dock. He stepped out and helped me as well, keeping a hold of my hands as we took the short walk up to his cottage. It was a lot smaller than the house Michelle’s family owned, but it was cute. I thanked him as he held the rickety screen door open for me. We stepped into a cozy little outdated kitchen with linoleum tiles and white counter tops. He led me through the cramped living room up the steep, dark wooden stair case and into a small bedroom with a queen size bed. I’ll admit, for a moment the cozy vibe had a tinge of creepiness to it, but it was cool. He shut the door and I sat down on the red, yellow, and blue patchwork quilt, running my hand over it. “My grandma sewed it,” he informed me as he sat down next to me.
“I like it,” I complimented, smiling up into his mesmerizing grey eyes. He looked a bit distant.
“Yeah, I miss her,” he said softly. He looked torn, and his emotions were transmitted to me. I scooted closer and wrapped my arms around him. He returned the embrace and we just kind of stayed like that for a moment before he pulled away, smiling at me. “Thank you,” he said sweetly. “I get pretty lonely here, so when I saw you guys I got really excited and decided to introduce myself. When I laid my eyes on you… I’m not sure, but something just clicked. I’m sorry if I’m being too forward, but you truly are beautiful,” he gushed, leaving me speechless. He looked back up at me nervously, his shiny eyes begging for acceptance. I just smiled, at a loss for words.Can he actually feel that way about me? I wondered. Louis had had at least two months to tell me if he felt that way and never took the opportunity, and here was this guy I just met, telling me that he fell for me the second he saw me.
“Well thank you,” I uttered lamely. “Honestly, I’m not really sure how to respond to that. No one’s ever told me that before…” I trailed off, becoming unsure of myself. I wasn’t exactly the best with relationships, and Todd was very hot. He was also seemed extremely sweet and sensitive, which was adorable.
“Really?” he asked in slight astonishment. I nodded shyly, still processing the whole thing. “Well, you better get used to it.” We smiled at each other, and I was so overcome with this tidal wave of love. It felt amazing, and I never wanted to let the sensation go. Screw Louis, I thought, making the decision to allow myself to fall for Todd.
*Haley’s P.O.V.*
It was now 19:55, the time I promised Julia to have Louis occupied by. I wasn’t completely sure why I was helping Julez get with Todd when I was dying to have her with Louis, probably because it was what she wanted. Well, no, because I knew she actually wanted Louis. I was probably subconsciously doing it so she would realize that she and Lou are going to get married and have perfect little baby children together and I will be their god mother. (Yes, I already have this all planned. No judging.)
All of us besides Julia were sitting around the living room, me in Niall’s lap and Louis next to Harry, as per usual. We were watching a program that no one was really interested in, so it was pretty easy for Louis to sense that I was staring at him. He flickered his gaze toward me questioningly and I signaled up the stairs with my eyes. He sighed a bit and got up, probably having a pretty good guess at what our little chitty chat was going to be about. I got up too and followed Louis up the staircase. No one even bothered to question us; by now they had all grown used to our mental connection. He led me into his room, which I hadn’t though much of at the moment. I closed the door behind me and sat across from him crisscross applesauce style, me facing the window and he facing the door. He looked at me expectantly as I grinned. “You like Julia. Or fancy her or whatever,” I stated simply.
“Ya don’t say.” He didn’t even phrase it like a question like you’re supposed to; he just said it with no emotion at all. It actually depressed me quite a bit. I frowned.
“Then why don’t you tell her?” I whined. “I know you kissed her. You don’t just kiss a girl and act like it never happened! Do you know how frustrating that is to girls? How heartbrea-”
“Yes!” he screamed, silencing my rambling. He sighed, closing his eyes and collecting himself. I barely ever saw Lou get like this. Actually I’m not sure I had ever seen him like this. “Kissing Julia was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, yet I don’t regret a second of it,” he whispered in a voice that shattered my heart.
“Why was it a mistake?” I asked softly, taking his hands in mine and running my thumb over his knuckles, trying my best to comfort him. It was just the start of repaying him for all he had done for me.
“Because I knew I wasn’t ready yet,” he explained. “I knew I wasn’t able to juggle a relationship along with all my other problems, but I just wanted her so badly, I got so swept away in the moment that I just… kissed her!” He took his hands from mine and ran them through his hair. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders.
“What other problems?” I prodded, hoping I wasn’t being too nosy, as I just wanted to help.
“Well, let’s see. I’m still a little shaken by my parents’ divorce and I really wish I could be there for my mum. Two of the most amazing people I’ve ever met died recently. The band is receiving lots of hate, which I block out as best as possible but even if I block it out the other lads need me when it gets to them. I don’t want to complain too much, but it’s quite a bit too handle, ya know?” he vented. I hugged him even tighter, fully understanding.
“I’m sorry Lou, I love you,” I said, planting a kiss on his unshaven cheek. “Thank you so much for all that you’ve done for me, which is a whole hell of a lot.” He smiled down at me sadly.
“That’s another thing I have to put up with: stopping your tears,” he teased. I stuck my tongue out at him and giggled a bit before sighing.
“You should at least tell her how you feel,” I instructed. He looked down at his hands.
“I know. But I don’t want to make her wait for me, or make her feel like she has to put up with all my baggage.” He paused for a moment to smile at me. “That’s your job,” he added before continuing, making me smile proudly. “But at the same time, I’m dying for her to wait for me. I know I’m being selfish, but I just want her all to myself. Seeing her flirt with that Todd guy… I hate it so much. I just want to pull her away from him and claim her, tell him that she’s mine and I love her an-”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. You love her?” I squealed excitedly, cutting him off. He smiled a bit dreamily.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “I mean I think I might. It feels right saying it.” I smiled and attacked him with a hug. He chuckled and hugged me back. Just as the mood was lightening, there was the roar of a motor from outside the window. Fuck! I screamed mentally, forgetting how loud boats are. “The hell was that?” Louis wondered aloud, turning around.
“My stomach!” I lied lamely, trying to pull him away from the window. But it was too late. He had parted the curtains, and I watched shock, anger, longing, and disappointment flash across his face as he watched the girl he loved sail away with another guy. He stayed there for a moment, and my heart was aching at the fact that I knew his pain was entirely my fault. “Lou Lou,” I began.
“Out,” he ordered before I could finish. I just stared at his back, my eyes widening. “I said get out Haley!” he exploded, throwing the curtain shut as he turned around, his face a blend of anger and depression as he obviously held back frustrated tears. I got up and ran out of the room, closing the door behind me. I ran into the room I shared with Niall, not caring that I slammed the door shut as I flopped face down onto my bed. I started sobbing. I hate being yelled at, it makes me feel so unwanted and annoying, and being yelled at by my shoulder to cry on was the worst thing imaginable.
But what hurt the most was knowing he had every reason to make me cry.
A/N***
Aww, well that was sad ): But is Todd's better side coming out? Or is he being creepy? o.O lol
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Z.