BRENDAN POV
Savannah and I have been holding onto each other for quite a while now ever since Anthony and London abruptly interrupted and left. The silence between us is calming, and her smooth hair rests comfortably underneath my chin. Seeing Anthony again might've upset her, so I'm doing my best to comfort her at this moment.
It was so difficult to try to control my anger for Anthony, not only because he slept with her, but especially considering the fact that he never even tried to help Savannah out of that terrible mistake of a relationship she had with Logan.
I know somewhere deep inside of him, he was probably asking himself why he was defending Logan and telling Savannah to just forget everything he did to her and go to the funeral anyways.
I'm sure he wouldn't do that if he were in her shoes, but Anthony has been shoved up Logan's ass for so long that he just does whatever he thinks would've made that smug bastard happy.
It didn't take long for me to realize that when I used to be friends with him, yet that didn't seem to bother me back then, which really bothers me now.
I really was a different person back then. Completely ignoring the obvious signs that he was a terrible person, but then again I wasn't far off from being as heinous as him, so I didn't see why his whole personality would end up being problematic.
I'm glad that London isn't completely brainwashed by Anthony, but at the same time it still bothers me how she is still obviously attracted to Savannah.
That peck on the cheek, and how her eyes seemed to cling on Savannah the whole time she was here made me uncomfortable.
Just because they did some things on the night the four of them met doesn't mean that she can continue to make passes at Vannah, or that Vannah returns those feelings for London.
I come out of my thoughts when I feel her hand against my heart, and although she's extremely cold, the touch brings warmth to the center of my chest, slowly spreading outwards.
"What are you thinking?" I ask Savannah, and she looks up at me.
Her green eyes pierce into mine, temporarily stopping my heartbeat for a split second. She's thinking something, but I can't quite detect what it is. She looks afraid of saying whatever it is she has on her mind, and I don't want her to feel that way.
She felt the need to not speak up for herself when she was with Logan, and it was written all over her face. It tore me apart to watch her second guess herself and hold in her thoughts just so that Logan was satisfied. The fact that Logan probably enjoyed every second of making her doubt herself and those that were closest to her is indescribably disgusting.
"You know what, maybe we should go." Savannah says, and my eyebrows shoot up.
I let her go from my hands, giving her a disapproving glare. I don't want her going to Logan's funeral. She doesn't need to go after everything he's done to her. Logan has put her through too much pain, stress, and a countless amount of another things.
Going to the funeral would be pretty much be paying respects to him, which is exactly what Logan would want from her. He always wanted to feel validated and have people worship him like he was some sort of king.
His arrogance had seeped its way into his bloodstream, almost becoming part of his biology. Logan couldn't help but act that way, almost as if it was a natural human function that was uncontrollable.
"Savannah," I say harshly, hardening both my voice and my gaze. "No."
Savannah just looks down at her feet, and her hands are clasped in front of her. I'm looking down at the top of her head, and I reach out and begin to stroke her hair.
"I don't want you to go." I add, shaking my head in disagreement.
"Brendan, please. Hear me out." Savannah mewls, and she's so quiet that I almost miss what she said.
This is an argument that I'm definitely not afraid to have with her. I'm not going to let her try and convince me to go see that miserable son of bitch being buried. I won't sit there and listen to his relatives try hiding all of the horrible things he has done with meaningless stories and memories from his childhood.
"Savannah, hear me out. We aren't going to the funeral. I don't care what Anthony said or did. We aren't going, and that's final."
She needs to understand why going to his funeral is an extremely stupid move, and if I have to enforce that in her head as harshly as possible, then I will.
Savannah has been doing so well in terms of moving on from Logan and that whole part of her life, so I don't want her reverting back into it by going to his funeral.
"Brendan, can I please get a word in?!" Savannah suddenly exclaims, and the tone in her voice startles me.
Her voice is hard, almost as if she's a parent scolding me. It's almost as if some slight anger that was resting inside of her was just yanked out of her body like a tooth. She finally looks up at me, and she glares at me with those green eyes.
The slight desire behind her stare causes my blood to warm up, but once her eyebrows become furrowed over her eyes, it's like I've seen an indescribable type of anger.
"I am tired of being told what to do with my own life. Now if you just listen to me, maybe you'll hear what I'm actually going to do." Savannah chastises.
I cross my arms, and raising my eyebrows at her, waiting for her explanation. I'm genuinely curious to know why she thinks we should go to the funeral.
"First of all, I make my own choices. Anthony didn't influence it at all, and I'm sick and tired of everybody acting like I can't think for myself." Savannah says angrily, and there's a faint growl behind each word she says, and it's like the anger is building.
"I never said that you—"
"Listen to me!" Savannah shouts.
Instantly, my mouth closes and I just look down at her. I'm willing to listen to what she has to say. Although I'm slightly disappointed in her wanting to go to the funeral, I'll still allow her to say what's in her head.
"Brendan, I'm not even going to the funeral to pay respects. I'm going to that my final words can be said to him, and I've been wanting to say this to him for so long."
I understand what she's saying now. Before he died, she never really got to say what she's been wanting to say to him. She never really got to express her hatred. It's still built inside of her, and once she says these words to Logan, she'll finally be at peace.
Now I feel bad because I didn't give her the time to get a word in, I just assumed the worst and completely lost it on her. The cloud of guilt hovers over my body, and a faint heat of embarrassment flourishes in my cheeks.
Savannah surprisingly doesn't look too upset even though I wasn't willing to listen to her at first. She actually looks like she understands why I was so shocked at her sudden change of heart.
I mean, why would she go from not even thinking about the funeral to all of a sudden wanting to leave some final words at his resting place?
Anybody would be confused, but now it makes sense since she explained everything to me. Savannah just wants these last words to be left for him, and a part of me wants to leave some words for Logan as well, but I already acted on my hatred for him, so I'm satisfied.
"I'm sorry, Vannah." Is all that I can manage to say to her.
"I get it. I say that I'm ready to move on from Logan and then suddenly I say that there's some things I still need to say to him."
She knows that I'll support her, and if she really feels the need to let out any leftover anger on Logan one last time, I won't stop her.
~~~
SAVANNAH POV
After a while, we finally arrive at the cemetery, and I rush out of the car without saying anything to Brendan. The dead grass beneath my feet crunches quietly, and the faint breeze howls in my ear as I continue walking.
Brendan follows behind me, and we both carefully step over flowers or letters that have been left on other graves. Suddenly, I feel his hand grip onto mine, and he turns me around so that I'm looking up into him.
"What?" I demand.
"I'm not stopping you from doing this, but I just want to know if you're genuinely comfortable with this. Visiting his grave. I don't want all those memories to come back and haunt you again."
I give him a small smile before standing on my toes to give him a kiss on his cheek. He's always so concerned about me, which makes me smile because before I started dating him, I never pictured him to be the overprotective type.
"I appreciate the concern, but I know that once I say what's on my chest to him, I won't think back to this anymore. It'll be behind me." I insist.
"I just worry about you so much, so I don't want this to trigger every memory that was unfortunately made with Logan."
"It won't. Now that I know what type of person he was and what he was capable of doing to me, I guarantee those memories don't mean anything to me anymore."
Suddenly, I stop in my tracks once I see the spot where he's buried. The dirt from where they dug the grave is still scattered all over the place, and there's a few flowers placed in front of the tombstone.
I scoff at the fact that a couple of people actually left something for him, because he doesn't deserve to have anything.
His date of birth and death are underneath his full name. Besides that, there's nothing else carved into the stone. It's almost as if I can see his face lingering in the air. I kneel in front of his grave, and I swallow quickly.
"Well, looks like your mission to completely sabotage my chances at ever having a normal relationship failed. I'm still alive, and I'm with someone who actually loves me. You're under ground, exactly where you belong."
Brendan watches me as I say this to him, and he has a faint smirk on his face. Not only am I doing this for myself so that I can live in peace and put this all behind me, but I'm doing this for Brendan so he can be proud of me and see that I am ready to move on and start fresh.
"Part of me wishes you were still alive so you could see just how much I don't need you. I never needed you."
I take one of the roses that was in front of the tombstone, and I crush it in my hand before letting the wrinkled petals fall back to the dirt underneath me.
"Nothing that you could've done to me would stop me from loving Brendan, and you aren't anything compared to him." I say, and I smile as I think about how defeated Logan would look.
I understand that you shouldn't talk poorly of people who aren't alive, but Logan put me through hell and back. I will say whatever is on my mind until it's all out of my system.
"You are finally were you deserve to be, and I will never regret my decision to leave you." I growl.
I'm not even crying right now, which I'm more than proud of myself for. My strength still isn't solid, but I'm glad that it's at the point where I'm not crying over this.
Brendan crouches next to me, and I turn around, wrapping my arms around him. He tightens his embrace, and a smile spreads across my face.
I now know what everyone means when they say someone's arms can feel like home.
I've finally found it.