Aaron Turner
Moses' chest rose up and down as he slept quietly. My chin lay rested on his chest and my gaze went back and forth from him to my phone that was turned off. I didn't know what I was suppose to say to Amaru or how I'd even explain what happened and I was more than anything terrified that maybe he'd turn to drugs to cope with me hurting him.
I hadn't had sex with Moses, we'd spent the entire night in bed talking about feelings, mistakes and him promising to do better. I don't think I'd ever had a conversation with anyone as deep as that and I truly felt like I'd been missing my best friend.
"Wake up and tell me you love me again" I laughed flicking Moses in the forehead. He turned his head keeping his eyes closed but stirred a bit in his sleep.
"I love you" he muttered. I slowly got up sitting with my feet hanging off the bed and my back to him.
"You frustrate the hell out of me. Been fucking up my life since I was ten years old and I'm still hooked on your hoe ass. Why?" I questioned out loud.
"Stop dragging me. You was loving my ass last night and now you wanna talk shit?" He questioned causing me to laugh
I leaned over and kissed his lips before sitting up and he smiled before he shifted in bed and groaned. I could probably watch him sleep all day and do absolutely nothing and just because I was with him that would be the best day ever.
I smiled weakly before turning my phone on and waited patiently for all of my notifications knowing I'd have to answer to my boyfriend soon.
After all of my texts came in I was surprised that Amaru hadn't gotten back to me from the night before. I pushed my guilt to the side and texted him hoping he was okay and had made it back to his place or somewhere safe the night before.
"Amaru has been really good to me. He deserves better than this" I said out loud as I glanced over my shoulder at Moses who was wiping the sleep out of his eyes. It took him awhile to register what was going on but when he did he placed an arm behind his head.
"I know I shouldn't have kissed you. I wanted to avoid this happening but I don't regret it, I love you and I made it clear I planned to get you back" Moses said as he slowly sat up.
"Who said you got me back? I'm going to tell Amaru what happened and hopefully we both can reach an agreement" I explained.
"And then what? You'll continue lying to yourself and forcing yourself to love him because you don't wanna be the bad guy, yeah? You can't force yourself to be with someone because you don't wanna hurt their feelings" Moses said from behind me.
I turned so that I could look at him and he had the look of desire in his eyes. He reached out and grabbed my arm pulling me closer to him.
"I do love Amaru. We had a good relationship and then you showed up and made me love you again. You didn't even have to do anything for me to love you. Amaru showed me off to his parents and what am I doing? Laying in bed with my ex who's still married with a baby" I said shaking my head.
Moses was silent after that and I looked over at him seeing he'd shut his eyes. I thought he'd dozed back off until he moved his hand up and rested it on his chest.
"Amaru is an amazing person, but I feel like you're it for me. I won't be able to settle for anything less than you. I feel like everybody has that one person that they meet and they fall so deep in love that nothing else matters" I explained.
When I had started my relationship with Amaru I didn't think Moses was going to come back into the picture, I tried hard to treat him like shit so he'd go away but he wouldn't go away. No matter how hard I tried to move on, or how bad I wanted to fight him, he just wouldn't go away.
Deep down though I don't think I'd be able to cope if he really did go away forever. I was in a fucked up position and I didn't know how to get out of it.
The guest room door opened up and Saint appeared and leaned in the doorway. He looked at Moses and I as he folded his arms and his face grew fake shocked.
"Amaru is downstairs. You want me to go get him?" Saint questioned playfully causing me to practically leap out of the bed as I grabbed his arm.
"Don't play with me. Is he really downstairs?" I questioned watching the humor all over Saint's face.
"Yeah man he's really down there" he said growing serious. I looked over my shoulder at Moses who pushed the comforter off of himself and slowly got up gripping his side and he eventually went into the bathroom to wash up I assumed.
I pushed passed Saint and ran into my bedroom quickly throwing on a pair of joggers and a tank top. I practically stumbled down the stairs wanting to know if he was really there or if Saint was just being petty. Even when the nigga was serious he could still tell a lie.
Amaru was in my living room sitting on the couch and texting on his phone. He looked up when he saw me and smiled as he locked his phone and placed it into his pocket before he stood up.
"Come give me a kiss" he demanded as he spread his arms for me. I awkwardly walked over and avoided kissing his lips only kissing his cheek instead.
"Baby I need to talk to you. Can you sit down again?" I said quickly. Amaru looked me over before he sat back down on the couch and tilted his head back.
"Your mad I didn't call you back last night? I was tending to business and I didn't want you involved with it. I came to make peace and take you out to breakfast" Amaru explained.
"I don't deserve breakfast. Something happened last night" I said and he grew an unreadable look on his face as he furrowed his eyebrows.
"Like what? He questioned as he scooted forward and folded his hands together. I awkwardly coughed as my throat felt a bit dry.
"I kissed Moses" I said in between coughing. Amaru turned his head as he leaned closer like he hadn't heard me.
"Nigga you what? You fucked Moses?" He questioned and I sighed placing my hand to the back of my head as he stood up.
"We didn't have sex, I swear we didn't. We kissed and that was it and I'm sorry, I shouldn't of allowed it to happen. Old feelings started to come back and I'm just really confused. I really do love you though Amaru, but Moses is Moses and I shouldn't of brought you into this. I'm to blame" I explained.
Amaru stared at me with a weird expression. I heard a noise and looked over my shoulder at Moses who came into the living room pulling on a shirt.
"Do you want to break up?" Amaru questioned as he looked from Moses to me which confused me.
"You aren't dumping me? You aren't even going to try and fight me?" I questioned wondering if he had a gun tucked away and was about to try and kill us both.
"Do you or do you not want to break up?" Amaru repeated in a calm tone as he looked directly into my eyes.
"I don't know. I don't know what the best choice for me to make is, I'm not thinking rationally" I stressed and Amaru nodded. I looked over at Moses again noticing that he was watching Amaru closely as well as if he was unsure of his motives.
"I kinda figured this would happen. You don't just burry feelings like that" Amaru said as he stepped passed me and walked over to Moses pulling his pants up.
Moses didn't back down to him and looked like he was prepared to fight him even though he was in pain. I started to walk over stop the situation when I was caught off guard by Amaru who leaned in kissing Moses on the lips.
My eyes widened as Moses pushed him back roughly while Amaru laughed and glanced over at me.
"Now we're even. Let's go to breakfast, I'm hungry" Amaru stated while Moses kept a face of disgust.
"What are you doing? You aren't upset? Don't try and burry your feelings, whatever you say to me I deserve it. You deserve better than to be cheated on, I fucked up" I stressed wondering if he was high.
"I'm mad. I wanna punch you in the face and it's taking me a lot right now to not fight you and him. But just like you can't erase your feelings for him I can't erase mine for you. What do you want me to do? Let him win?" Amaru questioned.
Moses walked over to me and grabbed both of my hands looking me in the eyes and I felt sick to my stomach as I shook my head.
"Aaron, I don't wanna play anymore games. We should've kept it real with each other since the beginning and that's my fault and it had a lot to do with my immaturity. I know I have a lot to work on and I don't want to rush our relationship. I wanna keep having long talks at night with you, cuddling and just kissing on you. All I'm asking is for one more chance, please" Moses said only for me to break eye contact and look at Amaru.
"Amaru, I don't want to hurt you. If this continues and you become more invested I know I'll hurt you and you don't deserve that. I rushed a relationship with you because I was afraid to be alone and I didn't want to see you with anyone else. It was selfish and I'm sorry" I admit as I let go of Moses' hands.
"So you choose him? The person who keeps hurting you over and over again? Aaron this man has you brainwashed, don't do this to yourself" Amaru stated as he walked over to me.
I opened my mouth to speak before Saint started to walk passed until he saw I was being cornered and put in a tough situation. Instead of saying something dumb he laughed out loud and continued walking.
"Man I didn't brainwash him, I'm just being myself and trying to change. Love like this just doesn't go away because you want it to. But this conversation would've been had regardless even if I would've stayed away he would've found someway to me" Moses said with a shrug.
I was silent for awhile and I couldn't keep my eyes off of Moses feeling like something had changed about him. Part of me knew the old him would've tried harder to get under Amaru's skin but he wasn't doing that.
"I love you. You helped me grow into a better person, I need you" Amaru said as he stepped in front of Moses.
"You deserve better, I can't say that enough" I mumbled feeling my throat go dry. Amaru folded his arms as Moses left out of the room with an unreadable face.
"You keep saying that but you won't break up with me? So what's up?" Amaru questioned?
"I don't know. I don't want to make the wrong choice, you make me happy but deep down in my heart I know somethings not right with us. This was going to happen regardless if not now then years from now if we fucked around and eventually got married. I don't want to waste your time" I said not being able to look him in the eyes.
"Then let's be done. I don't need my time wasted, I'll bounce back" Amaru stated as he nodded and stepped back away from me.
"I hope we can still be friends" I said in a low tone and he looked me over.
"Nah" he responded in a dull tone and I nodded my head accepting his answer knowing I should've saw that coming.
I remained standing in my spot as I watched him leave out as well with a look of hurt on his face. After awhile I took a seat on the couch and leaned forward clasping my hands together.
When I heard my front door open and slam shut I sighed and looked at the coffee table not feeling emotional about it. I'd hurt Amaru and I'd hurt Kadence, I was just as confused as Moses was.
Knowing my luck he'd probably go back to his wife leaving me alone for good and I'd already broken off two friendships for nothing.
There was a knock on the front door about ten minutes later and I slowly stood up and walked to get it assuming it was Amaru and he'd left something.
I took a deep breath before pulling the door opened revealing Peyton who was smiling. I smacked my teeth and walked away from the door causing her to enter and shut it behind her.
"Well it's good to see you too. What the fuck is wrong with you?" She questioned. I shoved my hands into my pocket and shrugged.
"Amaru and I just broke up. I kissed Moses last night and now he hates me which I don't blame him for. I feel like I don't have shit in my life figured out, I'm messing everything up and I don't even care" I admit.
"You're in your early twenties Aaron. Your life isn't suppose to be figured out, this is our fuck up years. You don't see me out here trying to settle down and have kids, son nobody has time for that. Your birthday is coming up in a few weeks and that's what you need to be focused on because that's what really matters" Peyton encouraged.
"She's right. I was hurt when Erin and I broke up but not having a girlfriend feels good, I like being a hoe like Peyton. You haven't been by yourself in awhile bruh" Saint said peeking around the corner.
"Where the fuck do you even keep coming from? I thought you were team Amaru anyway, so what happened?" I questioned folding my arms.
"I'm team Aaron. Whatever you want I'm cool with it, that's what brothers are for" Saint said as he smiled and walked over draping his arm over my shoulder.
"You guys are cute. I wish you and Erin were on speaking terms though, she's been keeping to herself lately. I think it's time you all made up cause a bitch is tired of trying to dived up all her time" Peyton said and we all laughed.
My eyes eventually roamed up the stairs where Moses was leaning on the railing. He motioned for me to come up and I gave a simple nod as he walked away.
"I wanna go to Vegas for my birthday and I know my two best friends are gonna make that shit happen for me. I'll even talk to the one bighead girl so we can get the apologies over with" I offer and Saint laughed while Peyton rolled her eyes.
"Yeah nigga whatever" she mumbled as I jogged up the staircase. I went into the guest bedroom where Moses had sat and he looked up at me.
I took a seat on the bed next to him and we shared an awkward look with one another before he looked away.
"We aren't ready for a relationship. You were right when you said we need to work on ourselves and you should focus on your daughter and if you're going to be Angelo's right hand then you'll be busy with that as well" I explained.
"I'll have time for you too. I'm really sorry about Amaru, I know he was there for you when I wasn't" Moses said and I chuckled.
"You aren't sorry. But it's cool, I'm going to give him his space and then harass him until he wants to be my friend again. He can't resist A-A Ron" I said speaking in third person.
"You're corny as fuck bruv but that was on a whole other level" he teased as he nudged me and I smiled
"Well I'm about to go, I have stuff to do. Friends?" I questioned extending my hand for him to shake and he pushed it away.
Moses leaned in pressing his lips to mine as I closed my eyes feeling his mouth move against my lips. I'd gotten so into the kiss that when he pulled away I tried to lean in closer.
"Friends" he responded as he licked his lips and looked me over. I quickly got up leaving out of the guest room before he gave me a look and shit escalated.
-
I showed up to a hip hop dance class Erin was teaching and stood towards the back as a group of children surrounded her. She slowly broke down the dance moves to the clean version of the song 'Push It' by O.T. Genasis while they watched.
She was laughing and having fun until she looked up at me and frowned. She turned to her partner wanting the other woman to take over before she walked over to me.
"Yes?" She questioned calmly and I sighed dramatically and awkwardly shrugged not knowing what I was suppose to say.
"I don't think I did anything wrong. I told Saint to talk to you instead of cheating, you blew up at me for no reason" I said and she reached down onto a chair and grabbed a towel before she gestured for us to move further away from her dancers.
"It wasn't just that, it was obvious Saint and I were drifting. But regardless I felt like I was being pushed out of our group long before that. You aren't the same person I remember, it's not just you everyone is so different" Erin stressed and I chuckled.
"I'm sorry you feel like that. Being around you turned into a chore, you sucked the fun out of everything. We all love you to death but we just need better communication and who any of us choose to fuck shouldn't concern you" I said and she folded her arms.
"Okay, fine I'll promise to do better if everyone else does as well. I'll also keep my mouth shut and mind my business. I won't say anything about you and Amaru" she said and I felt a small ache.
"We broke up this morning, it's a long story" I mumbled and her eyes widened as she placed her hand on my shoulder.
"It was Moses wasn't it?" She questioned and I narrowed my eyes at her before nodding my head as I frowned pulling her into a hug and resting my head on her shoulder.
"I don't know why, I thought I was done. I just love that nigga so much and I'll never be tired of his hoe ass" I sniffled as she patted the top of my head gently.
"We all know" she said comforting me. A little black girl walked over and stared us down causing me to mug her back.
"Ms. Erin is this your boyfriend?" She said in a teasing manor and Erin grew flustered as she pushed me off.
"No this is my friend Aaron, he just came to visit" she explained and the little girl looked at me before placing her hand on her hip.
"He's cute, I like his hair. He looks like a Disney Prince" she complimented and I smiled and bowed to her causing her to smile big revealing she was missing her two front teeth.
"Thank you, that was the beat compliment ever. I don't feel like a prince right now though, more like a peasant" I said with a sigh as Erin ushered the little girl away.
"Go feel like a peasant outside before you have all the little girls in her with a crush on you. They're already starting to eyeball you" she said gesturing to a group of girls standing around in a circle and laughing as the pointed at me.
"Come through tonight. I'm gonna cook dinner, it'll be lit!" I called and she agreed as I left out of the dance studio.
I started to walk to my car when I saw an older woman who was struggling to carry her bags to a car. I walked over and offered to help her and she looked me over keeping a dull face but allowed me to take her bags.
"Thank you" she said dryly as I carried her stuff for her. Once everything was in her car I ignored her stale personality and walked over to my car climbing inside deciding since my brothers barbershop was around I'd go and see him to let him know I was serious about a job.
As I started my car up a black truck pulled out nearly hitting my car as it zoomed off. I sat startled for a moment before shaking it off as I pulled off going in the opposite direction feeling like the dumb ass driving the car was about to kill somebody
I eventually pulled up to Malik's shop and he was standing outside talking to another barber as they laughed. When my brother saw my car pulled up he took a sip of his Gatorade and eyed my car suspiciously.
I parallel parked and exited out of the car hearing music coming from his shop. Malik remained skeptical when I walked up but we slapped hands anyway before he pulled me into a hug.
"Just gave you a haircut, you need some money?" He questioned in a stale tone and I rolled my eyes.
"We talked about a job, I want a job" I stated and the man who was standing outside with him laughed like I was a clown.
"Yeah, I didn't know you were serious about that. I don't hire people who smoke weed and drink" Malik stated and I smacked my teeth.
"Never smoked weed in my life and Alcohol is for losers" I lied and Malik looked me over like he wanted to say no.
"You can at least have him come in early tomorrow and see what he's about. We have an open chair" the barber named Frank pointed out. Malik looked over at him and he went silent and cleared his throat going back into the shop which left my brother and I alone.
"Why you acting like you don't wanna hire me? You want me to get it together and this is me trying to get it together" I pointed out.
"Then be here tomorrow at 7am not a minute later" he demanded. I went to protest but he immediately shut me down.
I smacked my teeth as a man walked up and he and Malik slapped hands before the man went into the shop.
"I gotta go, that's my client. Stay out of trouble, go study or something" he demanded and I smiled at him as he went inside.
I started to walk back to my car when a man forcefully bumped into me as he walked passed me quickly.
"Excuse you!" I snapped as the asshole kept walking. I climbed into my car angrily and shut the door behind me.
I fetched my phone out of my pocket after feeling it vibrate and looked at the text from Saint asking me to pick up some milk. I texted his ass a 'no' already knowing he was probably still sitting his bum ass on the couch playing video games like he was when I left.
I went to pull off when a woman knocked on my passenger window. I glanced at her as she said something I couldn't hear and when I reached over to roll the window down she took off running.
I didn't have enough time to react when my window shattered and bullets riddled my car leaving my ears ringing as I clutched my shoulder and slumped over.
The same black car that had almost hit me drove off once the masked gunman rushed and climbed into the car.
The smell of blood filled my nose as my white T shirt became red and I slowly climbed over the seat. I pushed the car door open and stumbled out of the car as everyone around Malik's shop either ran or hid in the alleyway.
"Somebody call 911, they just shot him!" Some woman yelled. My brother came out of his shop once the shooting stopped and when his eyes landed on me he quickly ran over with a few of his workers.
"Can you speak?" Malik questioned as he applied pressure to my shoulder and I slowly nodded my head.
"It's not bad" I said weakly. My brother looked up at the crowed that was starting to form and tapped the man next to him and the both lifted me up placing me in the backseat of my car.
"I'm not waiting for the ambulance. Stay with the shop" he said to someone as he stayed in the backseat with me squeezing down on the area as I groaned.
Frank got into my drivers seat and pulled off quickly not even shutting the door fully. I tried to sit up but Malik held me down and I looked at the ceiling of the car.
"D-don't tell Kaine, I'm alright" I begged weakly and he remained silent squeezing down on the area so I'd be quiet.
"You out here getting shot but talking about you don't want us to check up on you all the fucking time. Dumb ass nigga man I swear!" He snapped more to himself.
I think the most fucked up part about this situation was the fact that I didn't know if I'd been shot because of Amaru or because of Moses.
It could've been for many different reasons, Amaru wasn't even speaking to me anymore and I hadn't even gotten the chance to tell him about what had happened at Skye's party.
Malik's phone had started to ring and he ignored it until Frank's phone started ringing from the front seat.
"It's your brother, should I answer it?" He questioned and Malik looked down at me as I tried to shake my head but only made myself dizzy.
"Please no" I practically cried as I tried to get up again but he forced me back down and used one of his hands that was covered in blood to whip his nose as he sniffled.
"Yeah man answer it" Malik said as he focused on trying to stop my bleeding.
"What the fuck is going on? Everybody is calling my phone and telling me Aaron got shot" Kaine said into the phone that was now on speaker.
"I'm with him. There's an exit wound and the bleeding is slowing down, I think he's gonna be okay" Malik said.
"That's good, I'd hate for someone to kill him before I can. Text me when you get to the hospital and I'll come" Kaine said before hanging the phone up.
"God, please just take me now. I won't be mad I promise" I muttered as I shut my eyes to save my strength.
Amaru Jones
"So you got dumped? How tragic" Zeke said trying to hide his smile as we walked throughout one of Angelo's warehouses. I noticed his eyes wandered to a few naked men and women who were bagging up cocaine and I shook my head.
"I dumped him. I'm nobodies second choice, fuck that fag" I said with bitterness. Josh who stood to the right of me was in his own world as he looked around at all of the drugs being packaged up probably knowing we'd never be able to hit up a spot like this and make it out alive.
"You don't mean that, you still got all your pictures up of him on your social media. If you were really done with him you'd delete them and unfollow him but you won't because you'll be missing that dick tonight. The breakup is fresh and hasn't sunk in yet" Zeke stated only for me to roll my eyes.
I walked ahead of them knowing we had more important shit to do. We made our way up to Angelo's office and when I walked in I paused and shook my head when I saw Moses who was standing in front of his desk.
"Why the fuck is he here?" I questioned and Moses glanced over his shoulder at me before he smacked his teeth and looked back at Angelo who was playing mini golf in his office.
"Because you said you had to talk to him. So talk to him" Angelo said in a bored tone as he puffed on a blunt.
"That was before he stole my boyfriend" I said growing irritated and Moses rolled his eyes.
"Nigga you can't steal what went willingly. But fuck all that, what did you have to say? I have a drop to make" Moses said as he looked at his watch.
I remained silent while Josh and Zeke elbowed me wanting to ask about his father in laws organization before we took our chances trying to rob him.
"We want to know about James. He fucked you over and I know you have no loyalty to him anymore so give us a layout of all his drug hideouts, please" I said mumbling the last word.
Moses was silent as he looked over at Angelo who was watching our conversation in the background but had stayed out of it.
"Bruv that's a death wish. You go over there and they'll kill you, they have so many connections. I wouldn't recommend doing it" Moses said as he grew serious.
"I don't know about you, but I'm not an amateur" Alex said as he appeared in the doorway. When Angelo saw him he frowned as he tossed the golf club to the side.
"You aren't? Could of fooled me, only an idiot would go into something when someone who has experienced told them it was stupid. I want everybody to work together, it's more personal for Moses anyway" Angelo stated and I looked away.
"Which is why I was going to propose we work together. All we want is the drugs, he can take the money and whatever else he needs but regardless he can't go alone" I said and Moses chuckled.
"I can see why Aaron left you for him, he's daddy as fuck. That nigga can have this ass" Zeke whispered only for Moses to do a double take as he stopped laughing and grew a look of disturbance.
"You aren't his type" Josh whispered back and I stepped away rom him and walked over to Moses who had looked away from us.
"I'm trying to get my daughter and I don't need any of you fucking this up" Moses said as I stood beside him. Angelo ignored the both of us and answered his phone while Zeke, Josh and Alex talked in the doorway.
"I'm not trying to beef with you, I don't usually beef over dick so I don't know what's gotten into me" I admit and Moses side eyed me before he looked down at his phone like he was waiting for a text.
"If you're thinking about going to rob James in the next few weeks then don't do it. You need to plan that shit more and if we're working together I'm not going to be sloppy about it. Don't make me look bad" Moses said showing his annoyance.
"I could never make anyone look bad. If you look bad that's on you, not me" I mumbled as Angelo pulled the phone away from his ear and hung up with a sigh.
"Aaron got shot, he's in the hospital" Angelo said as if he were in deep thought and Moses stared at him waiting for him to continue.
"He's alright?" I questioned watching Angelo look around his office for something.
"Oh yeah, he cool" he responded as he opened a drawer and pulled out a gun before he tucked it into the front of his pants.
"What hospital is he at?" Moses questioned as he stepped forward and Angelo shrugged his shoulders.
"Malik didn't say. You could call him and figure it out" Angelo said as another man entered into the office and did a double take when he saw Moses.
"What's up bruh" the man greeted him and Moses looked at him seeming unsure but Angelo gave a simple nod assuring he was cool.
"What's up Raheem" Moses responded as they slapped hands before Moses left out of the room pulling out his phone.
"I really hope you both can get along. It'd be good for business" Angelo explained. I ignored him as I motioned for my group to follow me out of the room.
"Are you going to go and see Aaron?" Josh questioned seeming a little shook and I thought about it before shaking my head.
"Nah, it didn't seem like a big deal so he's probably fine" I responded as we left out.
Alex ended up staying behind to talk with Angelo and on my way out I popped a few Xanax into my mouth finishing off the rest of the prescription bottle before tossing it to Josh.
"Yo you really gotta chill. The amount you use is starting to go back up, I can't keep getting you these, they're not easy to come by" Josh said as we headed to my car.
"Just let me do me, I don't really care anymore" I said honestly. Josh grabbed my arm and I paused as I looked over at him seeing the look of annoyance on his face.
"So because you and Aaron broke up you're going to try and kill yourself? What about your parents or your little sister? Your friends?" He questioned.
"What about them? I love them but I didn't dream about marrying them. Aaron played me like I wasn't anything to him, I know for a fact he's not hurting over this breakup" I said yanking out of Josh's grip.
"I mean you've done similar shit to other people. You and Zeke had a thing going on for a little while and as soon as Aaron agreed to date you, you kicked him to the curb and never looked back. Zeke wanted you, you wanted Aaron and Aaron wanted Moses" Josh said with a shrug and I looked over at Zeke who was standing silently.
"I am sorry if I hurt you" I admit and he gave a simple nod before climbing into the backseat.
I mean but Zeke and I would've never worked out even if it wasn't for Aaron. I wasn't interested in him like that, it was just casual sex that I would've considered taking serious if Aaron kept playing games.
"You said yourself that Aaron will probably stay single for awhile, so in that time clean yourself up fully and then go after what you want. In that time you can heal from the break up and be ready to move on if he rejects you" Josh said and I wasn't truly ready to hear that.
"I should've never let that nigga top me. Now I'm out here showing my bitch tendencies" I complained as I got into my car.
"I mean, was it good at least? Asking for a friend" Zeke teased causing me to clench my jaw.
"It was good as fuck, we listened to Frank Ocean after. I really thought it was love" I mumbled placing both hands on the steering wheel.
My friends remained silent allowing me time to get out my feelings as I shut my eyes really wanting to cry.
"If you're going to cry then let me know so I can hop out the ride" Josh said bluntly. I ignored him as I started the car up and pulled off.
"Where y'all trying to get dropped off at? I got shit to do today" I said and they both shared a look before Zeke sighed dramatically.
I ended up dropping them off at two different locations before going to see my drug councilor, Eric before I really ended up fucking up.
I caught up with him when he was leaving his office and when he saw me he grew confused and looked at the time on his watch.
"I know I don't have an appointment scheduled but I really need to vent" I explain. He sighed before he motioned for me to follow him back into the building and we took an elevator up to his office.
Eric seemed suspicious of me as I walked over to the jar of jelly beans and reached inside grabbing a handful.
"You don't even like jelly beans" he pointed out as I dumped a handful into my mouth.
"I know, they're gross" I mumbled taking a seat in a chair. He cleared his throat wanting me to get to the point.
"My daughter has a dance recital and I'm already running late" he explained. I nodded as I clasped my hands together.
"I just got cheated on and I feel ready to do something extreme. Maybe because I got clean he lost interest, maybe he likes taking care of people and now that he doesn't need to help me anymore I'm useless to him" I said and Eric sighed.
"Or maybe his cheating had nothing to do with your lack of drug use at all. You should want to get clean for yourself, not for anybody else. I'd hate to see you go backwards all over a guy who you more than likely weren't going to marry anyway, if we look at this from a logical standpoint" Eric pointed out and I shrugged.
"When I first met him I was high on Xanax and don't even remember our first conversation. I admit I fell in love with his looks at first and really just wanted to have sex with him. But I eventually fell in love and the deeper in love I got the more he gave me the strength to get clean and now I don't have that and I'm alone" I said as I looked down at the burgundy carpet.
"You aren't alone. You can call me up whenever and I'm sure you have friends, you'd probably make more friends if you went to those group meetings I keep referring you to but that's a conversation for another time" he mumbled.
"He just got shot and I think it was karma" I shrugged leaning back into the chair as I ate more jellybeans and Eric's eyes widened.
"Oh my god you didn't shoot him did you? Tell me you didn't shoot him?!" Eric stressed as he looked at me crazily.
"No, I'm a lover not a fighter. These jelly beans are really gross" I muttered as I ate a few more.
Eric relaxed some and looked at the time on his watch again before he sighed and began to take the light jacket he was wearing off.
"Oh yeah your daughters recital. I don't mean to keep you, I'll go" I said standing and he shook his head.
"No stay. If anything happened to you I'd feel responsible that I wasn't around to talk you down. I have a lot of faith in you, you were very young when you made the decision to do drugs and I want you to get it together with or without your ex" he said confidently.
"Maybe I should accidentally send him some nudes. Show that fag what he's missing" I said with a nod and Eric grew confused.
"Fag? Aren't you gay?" He questioned and I raised an eyebrow.
"And? It's different when I say it" I responded dryly and he shook his head forgetting the conversation.
"Whatever. You just need to focus on your mental and emotional health and conquer your drug addiction fully. Get a hobby, go walking, eat healthier you said you've never had a job or completed school so maybe do one of those things. I think a lot of the time the reason you take Xanax so often is the fact that you're just bored" Eric said.
"You might be on to something. You're a really smart guy" I said and he laughed and smiled feeling accomplished.
I rested my elbow on the arm rest as I looked around his office wondering if I'd make a good drug counselor once I got clean. Knowing me I'd probably turn around and fuck some of my patients who come to me for help and force them deeper into their addiction.
-
I opened the door to my apartment and shut it behind me as I flicked on the hallway lights and kicked my shoes off. I stood in the hallway for awhile taking in the normal quiet noise but something just felt different.
I tossed my keys on the table in the hallway and removed the pill bottle from my pocket as I walked into the kitchen and poured the rest of the bills into the garbage disposal destroying them.
"That bottle is half gone. What about the rest?" A voice from behind me asked. I removed my gun and pointed it as I turned around coming face to face with Moses who was eating my goldfish.
"How'd you get into my apartment?" I questioned feeling my face grow warm in anger and he chewed what was in his mouth before using a napkin to wipe his hands off.
"Alex told Angelo you wanted to talk some more, he let me in. You weren't expecting me?" He questioned trying to hide his laughter. I kept my gun pointed on him and he watched me with a smirk as I walked out of my kitchen and went straight into my bedroom throwing the door open.
"What the fuck are you doing in my apartment? Today hasn't been a good day and I don't have time to play with you or that nigga in the other room!" I snapped moving my finger to the trigger as I watched him dump a couple of Percocet's into his mouth.
"Sharing is caring" he said using a plastic cup of water to swallow what was in his mouth. I slowly lowered the gun as I watched Alex stumble some and have to slap himself in the face to pull it together but he still ended up falling to the ground.
"I been popping pills all day and it's just now kicking in" he responded wiping drool from his mouth before he smiled and stood up looking a bit drunk.
"Don't overdose in my apartment. I gotta get rid of all of the drugs" I said pushing him out of my bedroom. Once the door was closed I opened every drawer I had grabbing all of the pills I had stashed away and tossed them onto the bed.
It wasn't until the pile started to grow big that I realized how bad it was at one point. There was a knock on the door and I ignored it as I continued grabbing all of the drugs, I was even shocked to find a vile of cocaine in a church shoe.
"Yo I really didn't know you weren't aware I was here. My bad for intruding, I just wanted to talk about earlier and about what happened at a party last night with Ron and some guy you two robbed together" Moses said.
I clenched my jaw before going to the door and yanked it open. I returned back to my search of drugs as Moses remained standing in the doorway eyeing the pile on the bed.
"You know a guy named Trent? I came up with him and he sells drugs around here. He saw Aaron at the party and threatened him, I don't know if it was him retaliating or somebody out in Jersey that was ordered to take care of him" Moses explained.
"How is he?" I questioned ignoring everything else he'd said.
"Aaron's fine, or else I wouldn't be here" Moses shrugged. I nodded before I walked over to my bed and sat down seeing my room was now a mess.
"We robbed a lot of small time drug dealers and corner boys. Most weren't about shit, others would try and shoot but they were amateurs. I guess you handled the situation last night?" I asked.
"That shouldn't even be a question" he responded again as he moved his eyes away from the drugs on the bed.
"Well all we did was rob that Trent dude and tie him up. Nobody died or anything like that and there's no reason for him to have come at Aaron like that if he did unless it was because of his ego" I explained.
"Wether he was an amateur or not Aaron should've never been involved with that" Moses said shaking his head.
"Well our relationship was different than yours was with him. He's a man he can make his own choices. I treated him like a man, not like a child" I shrugged standing up.
"That's what that's called, yeah? I had no idea" Moses said sarcastically and I smirked to hide my anger.
"He was just giving you top on camera, how do you know them weren't any of your people that caught him lacking? I'm not the only one out here having him risk it all" I pointed out.
"Don't compare our situations. All I gotta do is kill off my father in law which I will do, but you got everybody after your head and there's no getting out of that" Moses said as I chuckled.
"Speaking of your father in law. Why else did you stop by? You still haven't given a reason" I remind not about to let that conversation get to me.
"I know he goes away on business a lot. If you wanna make a move when he's away, that would be the perfect time to do it. The security is always the weakest when the boss is gone" Moses explained.
"I thought you were the boss" I said with a slight chuckle and he looked me over.
"I was never the boss, he just let me think that. You can take what I said and do what you want with that information. I'm out, I wanna go see Ron again" he said turning to leave.
"You aren't going to come with us? You said you want your daughter so why not just get her while we steal as much drugs as we can. Sounds simple enough" I point out.
"Because like I said, they have a lot of connections over there. If I take my daughter it'll be kidnapping, I have to play this shit smart instead of like what I was doing before because that got me nowhere" Moses said walking out.
I heard groaning from the living room and cursed under my breath as I quickly left out of my bedroom. Alex was laid out on the ground and Moses was looking down at him with a smirk.
"I thought my life had been fucked up the most, but you really take the cake. This shit right here is pathetic" he said shaking his head.
"Can you help me put him on the couch? I questioned as Moses stepped over him preparing to leave.
"Why? Leave him where he is" he said fetching keys from his pocket. "Oh, and I know I'm attractive and all but if you kiss me again I'll shoot you in the face" Moses said bluntly and I smirked.
"I mean every time you kiss Ron it'll be like having my seconds" I stated and he looked me over.
"I had him first. So who was really having the seconds?" He questioned and I tried to think of a comeback but I couldn't.
"Whatever, just treat him right because it's obvious he's dead set on getting back with you eventually. The only way that relationship should end is if Aaron decides to leave you. You don't get a fucking choice" I said and he nodded before leaving out.
My gaze drifted to Alex who was laughing as he looked up at me and I kicked him before returning back to my bedroom and eyeing all of the drugs on the bed.
I needed to take some time and really get clean this time, not for anybody but myself. Aaron couldn't save me because it wasn't his job and even though I wasn't fucking with him at the moment I still gave a fuck about him, or whatever.
Authors Note -
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