True North
Sang
My eyes flew open and I gasped for breath, noticing that North had done the same. My hands were clenched in fists against something solid and warm, North's chest.
I slowly raised my eyes to meet his questioning gaze as I continued to even out my breathing.
What in the world happened? Even more (or maybe not so) importantly, when did he get into bed with me? I didn't remember that at all.
"Nor-" North put a finger to my lip as he stopped me from saying his name. The room was dark, the only light coming from the moonlight through the windows.
His eyes darted to the side, and I followed his gaze towards the other bunks around us. I nodded, showing him that I understood. We didn't want to wake the others.
At my nod he removed his fingers from my mouth and glanced around again, as if to make sure the others were still unaware.
He shifted his weight until he hovered over me and lowered his mouth to my ear. "Get your robe and slippers and follow me."
North left to walk down to his bunk, where he probably left his own robe and slippers, while I shuffled to the foot of my bed to grab the robe that Adam had included in my wardrobe. I found myself wearing it more often than not in the evenings because most of the clothing that Adam had chosen for me, while modest, were light and airy. The nights weren't exactly the warmest.
As I finished tying my robe North returned, clothed in loose-fitting shirt and slippers, and grabbed my hand. We tiptoed to the door, North opened it silently and ushered me out before closing it behind us.
He put his arm over my shoulders, pulling me into him, and led me towards the elevator.
Where was he taking me? I thought we had to stay in our corridor? I opened my mouth to say something, but he put a finger to my lips and gently pushed me into the elevator once the doors opened.
North pushed the button for the roof and the doors shut, closing us inside.
"Where are we going?" I figured it was alright to talk now, since we were no longer standing anywhere we could accidentally wake anyone else up.
North didn't move his arm, but shifted a bit so he could look down at me. "The roof."
"Why?"
"We need to talk. You have some explaining to do." He turned his gaze from me when the elevator stopped and the doors opened. I could only follow in silence as he led me through an elaborate rooftop garden until we reached a clearing, where he had me sit on a small bench that was next to a ridiculously fancy fountain. He looked angry now.
His knowledge on where to go indicated that he had been up here before, but I couldn't focus on that. I was more interested to know why it seemed like I was in trouble?
For goodness sake, I was minding my own business, sleeping! All I could tell was that North was not happy about something. The bond didn't allow me to tell much, like read minds or anything. That would have been super helpful, if you asked me.
Ironically though, even if I couldn't tell why he was mad, I knew he would never hurt me. That, and only that, was the only thing that quelled my panic.
North began to pace back and forth in front of me as he mumbled under his breath. Every once in awhile he'd stop and turn to me, as if he was about to say something, but then would shake his head and continued pacing.
After about three or four minutes of this, it really began to get on my nerves.
"What?" I finally snapped and his head shot up at my tone. I really didn't like being dragged up here in the middle of the night to be lectured, especially when I didn't do anything wrong.
"If you are going to yell at me, please get on with it. I'm tired and my arm hurts and this sucks. I don't know why you are mad at me." I knew that saying anything like this was unlike me, but it seemed as though his emotions were affecting mine as well.
"Mad?" North blinked at me and then was at my side in a flash. He knelt to the ground in front of me. I felt the anger that had been nagging at me dissipate, and I was finally able to relax. He cupped my face with both of his hands and shuffled closer to me until his thighs were against my knees. Once in place, he let go of my face and pulled my upper body into his tightly. "I'm sorry. It's not that. I'm not mad at you. Baby, I'm just..."
He stopped and let out a sudden breath, before he pushed me back and let go. "What's wrong with your arm?"
I moved my right arm forward and he began to inspect it. I winced as he pulled at the sleeve of my robe and nightgown. At some point between when Danielle had slashed me with, well, whatever ghostly power thing she did, and coming up to the roof with North, the bleeding had stopped.
However, as the adrenaline from my dream and the onslaught of North's heavy emotions wore off, I found that the cut really did kind of hurt.
North growled as he studied the cut, which ran down the length of my forearm almost to my wrist. "Sang. Baby. Why didn't you say something before we left the room?"
I wanted to ask him when he had expected me to say something, but I figured it might make him feel guilty. The look on his face was enough to tell me that he was mentally beating himself up for being so rushed earlier.
"It's alright." I flexed my wrist so he could see that I was able to move around. "It's not too bad. The bleeding is mostly stopped. It just needs to be bandaged up."
He stood up and bent towards me, putting an arm behind my back and another under my knees as he picked me up.
"What are you doing?" I grabbed onto his shirt in surprise.
"We need to get you to Dr Green." North started walking back down the path the way we had arrived.
"What are you...? No!" There was no way was I letting him wake up Sean, and everyone else, for a task as simple as putting a bandage on a cut. "Don't be ridiculous North!"
"Yes." He didn't sound hesitant at all.
"Stop walking!" I pushed at his chest as I tried to get him to let me go.
He didn't stop, or let me go, but grunted in response as he continued forward.
"Stop, stop, stop!" I squirmed and twisted around as I tried to make myself impossible to hold. "You are not going to take me down there and wake up everyone over a little cut. Especially when we have a full day of training tomorrow. It only hurts a little, we just need to wrap it up."
"It looks deep enough!" He stopped walking, but from the way his dark brows were furrowed at me and his body shivered with worry, I could tell that he was holding himself back from continuing.
"North, look, relax." I shoved my arm back in his face as I tried to be nonchalant about it. "It's nothing. I'll be fine, I'll just rub some dirt on it and-"
He blanched. "Rub some what on it?"
"Dirt." I pushed at his arms until he set me down. Actually, I didn't think it was a conscious decision on his part, because the look he was giving me was something akin to horror.
I rolled my eyes, after I turned away from him of course, and began to return to the bench we had been at previously. He followed me, still stunned speechless.
"It's an expression." I told him.
"Oh." North blinked at me, then let out a relieved laugh as I sat down. I fought against putting my face in my hands. Really?
"Oh!" He repeated. "I know it's an expression. I just thought you seriously meant..."
He knelt in front of me again, took off his shirt and began to rip off strips of it. I couldn't help but to ogle at him for a moment as I watched the way his muscles moved with his ministrations. Thankfully he was too preoccupied to notice.
"Not this time." I told him as a point of fact. It was fun to screw around with North. "This particular cut would probably be too deep for something like that. Only light scratches and scrapes can use dirt, I believe. I'm not sure, but it never hurt me before."
He froze, as he had begun wrapping my arm, the edge of the shirt not yet tied. "What?" He sounded horrified.
"Did you know that mud can help blood to clot? It can also kill harmful bacteria. There's all sorts of good stuff. I was poor, I had to improvise. How do you think I survived so long?"
I grinned as he let go of the cloth and began to rub his face with his hands. "God only knows how, it's a fucking miracle. That's what it is."
"I read it in a book, you know." I told him seriously.
"A book. Of course you fucking did." He dropped his hands and lifted his face towards the sky, as if asking 'why me?'.
The distraught expression on his face was just too much, and I laughed. Even though I tried to hide it, North heard. His head snapped back down and he studied me with narrowed eyes.
Realization dawned on him and he poked my forehead as I gave him an impish grin. "You are bad." He said.
"You do know that it is true though, that it can kill infection. It's a really old remedy, even though there are risks." I offered helpfully as he picked back up where he had left off in the task of wrapping my arm.
"Don't rub dirt in your wounds, Sang Baby." He tied off the wrapping and pet my arm.
"But what if there are no bandages and I'm bleeding to death?" I raised an eyebrow at him.
He met my eyes and gave me a look that I couldn't decipher. "You wouldn't be in that kind of situation."
Well, I had been joking, but now he was making it serious. "You don't know that, you can't protect me from everything. Plus we are kind of participants of a giant bloodbath."
He dropped my arm and leaned forward, trapping me in between his arms. He lowered his head to mine until our foreheads were almost touching. "Sang, Baby, what did we say about worrying about things like that?" His eyes were so close to mine now that all I could see was the deep brown of his, as he implored me to listen to him.
"North?" I watched him. He was on edge. Anxious. "What's wrong?"
"Baby, I'm terrified." He rested his head against mine. "I want to do nothing more than take you out of here and stash you away someplace safe."
He couldn't do that! If he were to get caught breaking out, he'd be killed! Plus, that was entirely unreasonable. "North, you can't do that!"
North sighed. "I know I can't, but it doesn't stop me from wishing I could." He slumped down until he was half on the ground, and his head rested on my lap. He wrapped his arms around my hips and pulled me close to him, as if he were afraid to let me go.
I felt my face heat up in embarrassment from the position but, to my credit, I managed to keep my voice steady. "It's alright North, you know it will be ok. I'm not scared at all!"
Despite how scared I felt just thinking about the upcoming games and what they entailed, I projected an aura of calm and confidence. At least, I hoped that I did.
North snorted into my lap. "You are such a terrible liar, and I can feel your emotions."
I frowned at his head in response. He could at least humor me.
I wound my fingers through his hair and I massaged his head, hoping it would relax him. His thick dark hair was soft and my fingers flowed smoothly through the strands. "North, tell me what's wrong? Why were you angry earlier?"
At my question, he got up and pulled me to sit on the ground in between his legs, my back against his stomach. He sighed.
"Sang Baby, you can't do things like what you did earlier without letting one of us know. You could get really hurt, as evidenced by your arm tonight. What you did was really dangerous." He explained.
I raised my eyebrow, even though he couldn't see me. "Like what, sleep?" Sleeping was dangerous now? I knew North was protective, but this was just getting ridiculous.
"You weren't sleeping." He paused, then continued in a slightly different tone. "Didn't you know that?"
"Of course I was sleeping." What was he going on about? "I think I would know when I am sleeping. What else would it be?"
I shifted in his arms until I was on my knees in front of him and put my hands on his shoulders. He was looking at me in surprise.
"Baby, you were astral projecting." His eyebrows furrowed. "I had a suspicion something was off before I climbed into bed with you, and it was a good thing I did. You literally weren't in your body anymore and I was worried that..." North trailed off as he watched my face. "You had no idea did you?"
I almost panicked, all those times? Was it every nightmare? Every time I had a dream? I literally wasn't able to sleep? How pathetic was that?
My vision began to fade before my knees gave out and I collapsed forward into North. I could feel his panic, and felt him as he gathered my body close to his chest and made to stand up. "Wait..." I managed to get out, and he froze. "I'm ok. I just wasn't expecting that."
North shifted again, and he moved me until I was sitting sideways in his lap with my head resting on the side of his chest. "Don't do that." He grunted out.
"I'm sorry." I replied meekly. "It's just, all this time I thought that I had nightmares. I never knew... I mean, isn't astral projection really dangerous?"
He frowned at me and pushed a lock of my hair behind my ear. "It can be. The state that I found you in tonight could have been a dangerous instance, that's why I was upset. That's why I told you to tell us. Has this been happening for a long time?"
I pushed a shaking finger to my lip and thought. "When I was little, for as back as I can remember, I always had these nightmares. Around my father died they stopped. Then they started up again when we got here."
His eyes left my face as he looked out at the expanse of sky. "Interesting." He said pensively. "One reason could be that being around your father allowed you tap into your abilities, they are usually hereditary and family presence can help. Then being here with us, being near someone compatible, might have kick started them again. Maybe. There's a lot of different things it could be, but that would be the most obvious reason. Have you ever gotten injured before?"
I wanted to deny it so he wouldn't worry, but I also didn't want to start out my life with North, with them, by hiding things.
Opening up to others was difficult for me though, I had been alone for so long. I bit my lip as I thought about how to phrase this as delicately as possible. "Only once," I admitted, and I watched his frown deepen. "There was an incident that day before we shared the bath for the first time."
"How did you get hurt in it?"
"I tripped and fell on the hand that I had hurt when I first met Kota. It opened up the cut again. I didn't realize what had happened until I was washing off, and I didn't know what was going on enough to say anything."
His teeth clenched as I spoke.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be any trouble or cause you to worry." I couldn't look at him anymore and shifted my eyes to the horizon instead.
In the far distance you could make out the lights of Capital and above us we could see the visible stars in the night sky. It was pretty, but I would have enjoyed the view more if I wasn't having this conversation.
"I know I'm probably not what you expected." I wanted to cry because I knew that I had given him more things to worry about on top of everything else.
I was the worst bond-mate ever. "Do you want to be with me still? Do you still like me?"
I heard him chuckle under his breath and he pulled me closer to him, my face was buried in the space between his neck and shoulder. "Yes, Sang Baby. I'm sorry I scared you earlier, sometimes I react first and ask questions later. Do you still like me?"
"Yes, of course."
North
I don't think I had ever been that scared before in my life. I woke up after going to sleep next to Sang and found myself, and her, in the middle of a fucked up out-of-body experience. Mr Blackbourne had warned us that something seemed off about her sleeping patterns, but the reason why was nothing like I could have imagined.
Since when we all bonded she didn't appear to have any more disturbances during the night. It was still decided that we'd take shifts in staying awake anyway, just to make sure nothing was wrong until we got to the bottom of what was happening. Mr Blackbourne had been concerned, after all.
It was my night tonight, and my shift out of the three, when I noticed that Sang had begun to toss and turn restlessly. For a while I had only sat by her side and held her hand, waiting for it to pass.
Then, without warning, it was as if she was no longer even there!
I had never known someone who could astral project before. That particular ability was so unheard of that it was considered to be theoretical. Sure, even before the Cataclysm, people reported having such a skill, but there was a significant lack of scientific evidence behind those claims.
So when I saw Sang Baby lying there, still, pale and clearly no longer even present, I panicked.
I admit it, I probably should have woken the others or calmly thought things through. But I found myself reacting before I could consider the consequences.
All I could think about were the theories of practitioners being stuck in a state of projection. Of death. I refused to allow that to happen, I had to get her no matter what.
In retrospect it might have been overkill to use my strength. But I did so anyway out of sheer instinct.
If I had stopped to think about it, I would have remembered that, technically, it should require only touch or concentration for both of us to tap into each other's abilities. That was one of the supposed benefits of blood binding, after all.
I probably also should have also considered that I knew next to nothing about the astral plane. I never paid attention to that shit.
For example, everything that I heard gave me the impression that the astral plane was a smoky and whimsical looking place. Maybe with a few angels and shit.
I was an idiot. I had jumped into a situation when I had no idea what to expect.
Then I had found myself smack dab in the middle of a creepy-as-fuck forest with god only knows what howling in the distance. That was bad enough. Then I saw my Sang Baby crouched on the ground, shaking and terrified, and my heart stopped.
It was the worst of worst situations, I had no idea where we were, why she was here instead of... somewhere pleasant. And I had no idea how to navigate any of this shit.
I had done the only thing I could do, force her back.
At the time I had no idea that she had gotten injured, or that it was even possible. The fact that it was possible brought up a whole new realm of complications. It was one thing to keep her safe during waking hours, but to now have to be on guard during other times as well?
It was a good thing there were nine of us, because we had our work cut out for us.
Plus, this whole new whirlwind of emotions was just downright exhausting. I was used to worrying about people that I cared about, to taking care of them, but she was on a whole new level.
But she likes me. She had told me so.
I played with the edges of her hair and held her close to me as her breathing began to even out. She was so tiny that her body fit easily in my lap and my arms entirely engulfed her small frame. I could be happy holding her forever.
Every day that passed I felt more strongly for her, and it terrified me. I knew that I would never be able to get over losing her now, that is, if something were to happen. Even in this short amount of time she had become a central part of my life.
Never before had I imagined someone so wonderful, so perfect, could exist. She worked hard and never complained when asked to do things in training, even if she didn't know exactly why she was doing them. For example, you could see that she hated running, but she did it anyway.
Sang was smart, funny and shy, but never hesitated to joke around with me. She wasn't scared of me. Most girls, and even some guys, hesitated to talk back to me or approach me. Not her.
That was one of the things that I loved about her.
It was my greatest fear that she was too good to be true, that we would fail in protecting her. That we would lose her.
I carefully shifted her as I stood up and held her as tightly as I could without waking her. I hated that I'd have to wake her up soon enough, but I hadn't expected her to fall asleep so quickly after we talked.
She stirred against me as I walked back towards the elevator.
"North?" Her sleepy mummer made me feel guilty about needing to move at all, but I wouldn't let her go any longer before Dr Green cleaned her arm properly.
"Sorry Sang Baby." I tried to speak quietly. "I know you are tired. We just need to get your arm fixed up and then you can spend the rest of the night in my bunk, ok?"
She hummed a drowsy "mhhm" and her eyes fluttered in response. She moved her hand until her palm was against my bare chest and I felt the side of her mouth against my collarbone.
I almost missed a step in shock and well, other reasons, but she didn't notice - her eyelids had stilled again.
I forced myself to think of other things and not about her hands and mouth on my skin as I entered the elevator to go back downstairs. It wouldn't do to go back into our room with a situation.
Sang
I twisted my arm this way and that as I checked for what flexibility that the, in my opinion, overdone bandage on my arm allowed. It was very annoying.
It itched under there already, probably something Sean had done because I knew that there was no way I should have been scabbing over this quickly.
"Alright there, pumpkin?" Sean sat on my left this morning, and Silas loomed on my right. While Silas loaded my plate up with cheesy scrambled eggs, Sean had been watching me as I inspected his handiwork.
I vaguely remembered North carrying me back to the room, but I did fully remember waking up in the aftermath. North had caused a panic when we entered and he turned on the lights. You would have thought I was dying by the reactions.
I was shoved on one of the couches and Sean cleaned and bandaged my arm while pretty much everyone else stood nearby, distraught.
I glared at North for waking up not only Sean, but also everyone else, over a simple cut. But he ignored me and sat on one of the other couches, a smug look on his face.
His smugness didn't last long, because Owen demanded to know what happened. North's face went blank, and he left the room with Owen and Kota while the others stayed with me.
I plotted revenge on North every moment I had to spend reassuring everyone that I'd be alright. No one wanted to listen, even though I told them we'd talk in the morning. They wanted immediate answers.
It was like that until Sean agreed with me after he was done with his ministrations. Since North was talking to Owen, he said, he wasn't concerned that it was something that we all needed to discuss at the moment.
North, Owen and Kota returned to the room shortly thereafter. Owen and Kota with slightly perturbed looks on their faces. Owen signaled something to Sean, who followed Owen back out into the hallway.
I planned on following them. After all, if they were talking about me I should be there. Right?
But North had the nerve to intercept me and put me into his bed. Even so, everyone else still asked questions until Kota declared that they all were to go to bed. We would discuss everything in the morning.
It was now morning. Breakfast to be exact, and to my knowledge no discussions had taken place yet.
Interesting. Especially because there was no barrage of questions this morning yet either.
They had better not be having secret meetings about me, without me. Secret meetings in general I didn't mind. That was kind of cool. Secret meetings involving me, on the other hand... I minded that a bit more.
I'd have to talk to Owen later.
Not that I wasn't keeping secrets from them either...
I turned around in my chair and looked around until I spotted Chet's group entering through the double wide doorway. Greg saw me looking, met my eyes and winked. I fought back a shiver. Then I heard a strange noise next to me.
I turned halfway back to see what it could be. "Silas? Did you just growl?"
He was sitting closer to me now, and his eyes were fixated on Greg as his group sat down at a table across the room. I noticed some of my other boys looking in their direction or talking between themselves, and nobody was really paying attention to Silas and myself at the moment.
"He shouldn't even dare to look in your direction. He's already a dead man walking." Silas shifted his gaze from Greg and looked at me. Being this close, he towered over me, even though we were sitting. Since Sean was talking to Owen, it seemed as if Silas and I were in our own little bubble.
I didn't disagree with Silas' statement, about Greg not looking at me. I'd also prefer if I never had to see Greg again. What in the world were the boys planning though?
"It can't be helped, I guess. It'll be alright as long as he stays away, far away." I pushed my finger to my lip, I didn't want to give Silas more reason to be upset. "He seems to have taken it personally that I haven't been hanging out with the district six people... or him. He told me that I think I'm too good for them."
"You are too good for him, but it is not because he is district six." Silas stated. "Speaking of that, don't you know that Derrick guy?"
He was interested in Derrick? What for? Derrick was kind of boring. I would know, I had spent enough time following him and Maro around.
Even Danielle thought Derrick was boring.
"Yeah, kinda." I turned my head until I spotted Derrick. "I'm actually surprised he joined with Chet's group. Derrick has never been someone who liked confrontation, or glory and power. Meanwhile, Chet seems so intense. Derrick is more of a quiet type."
Silas' mouth dipped a bit. "It seems that a lot of the district six tributes didn't know you before you were selected. Well, except for Rocky and Derrick. What's with that?"
I shrugged in response. Who knows? It wasn't like I ever met anyone. "I told you, I wasn't allowed out. If I did go anywhere, Maro was around to make sure I didn't talk to anyone. I don't know how Rocky thinks he knows me, but I don't know him. Derrick is Maro's best friend. Even so, he never really spoke to me."
Owen's voice interjected into the conversation, he and Sean had been listening to us. "What can you tell us about him?"
My finger was back at my lip as I thought. "What do you mean? Like, in general?" What did he want?
"Do you think he's trustworthy? Is he a good man? Is he intelligent? That sort of thing."
"Um." I blinked, how weird. "I guess so. I mean, we never really interacted, but Maro apparently trusted him enough. He seemed pretty smart with classes, I know that his grades were better than Maro's, even though they skipped school a lot. He never was mean to me, and when we did talk he was polite. Plus, he did help me at the baths that first night we were here."
"They skipped school?" Owen frowned. "What were they doing?"
I shrugged again. "I don't know exactly. Most of the time they hung around in the woods. They probably weren't doing too much. Maro and Derrick are lazy. Maro isn't interested in things that don't benefit him. Sometimes I followed them if I was bored, but they never did anything interesting."
Owen hummed under his breath and picked up his coffee. He appeared to be deep in thought.
As we spoke of Derrick, I had slightly turned my head in his general direction and was watching him. He had been picking at his food. Suddenly, he pushed his plate away, stood up and walked towards the doors.
I pushed back my chair and scrambled to my feet. This was my chance to get him alone!
Sean grabbed my hand, and I noticed that the rest of the boys had stopped talking and were now all giving me appraising looks. "Everything ok?" Sean asked.
I had to go, Derrick was escaping!
I watched with mild panic as he began to exit the room. I waved at him frantically. I knew he saw me because our eyes met, but he just raised an eyebrow at me and kept on walking.
Well, that wasn't very nice.
"Yup!" I quickly replied. I tore my attention away from Derrick for a moment and looked at the boys. Owen gave me a look that I knew now to mean that he wanted answers. I knew that I had to explain, and I would tell them everything.
I would. Eventually.
Sometime after I talked to Derrick about his unpleasant sister. That way, Danielle wouldn't come after me. After all, being targeted by a ghost didn't sound appealing. I didn't want to give the boys anything else to worry about. Therefore, I theorized, if I talked to Derrick, he'd feel obligated to take over his sister's mission, and I'd be free from the threat of being haunted.
It was the perfect plan.
"I just need to talk to him."
The guys were so protective. I liked and disliked it at the same time. It was nice to know that people cared, but then I still wasn't used to that reality. It was a strange feeling.
But right now I had a mission.
Silas moved to stand up next to me, but I put a hand out and stopped him in mid-motion. Did he plan on coming with me?
"I trust Derrick. It's just something family related. His family. I'll only be right out in the hallway..." I reassured him.
He frowned at me, but sat back down.
"I really don't think you should go anywhere alone..." North said.
It was the hallway. It was right there. What in the world could happen to me if I was less than a hundred feet away?
Wait, why was I asking that? With my luck, I knew that a billion things could happen. It didn't matter, I needed to speak to Derrick. Alone. Just for one moment.
"It's Derrick, he's harmless."
North opened his mouth to say something, but Owen interrupted. "If Miss Sorenson says that she trusts Mr Brenner, then we will do so as well."
Brenner? Was that Derrick's last name? I had never even known. How did Owen even find out?
That totally wasn't important right now. Shut up, Sang.
Owen spoke to me again, "Go on Miss Sorenson, hurry back."
I looked toward the door and glanced back at Owen. "Thanks, I'll be one moment."