Hybrid

THIRTY-THREE

⫷ ARIA ⫸

"Are you hungry?" James asks me after an embarrassing growl from my stomach.

I push myself farther against the car door, wishing that I can just open the damn thing and jump out. "Nope."

"Are you lying?" He presses with a hint of amusement.

"Nope."

He chuckles, causing a weird feeling to flutter inside of me. "You're a bad liar, Aria."

"Please don't say that like you know me," I groan. My hands unconsciously rub at my throbbing head. I'm seriously considering getting that ear piercing that's supposed to help with headaches. "It's weird."

"Weird?"

"Yes."

James suddenly pulls into a McDonalds, going into the drive through. He orders food and I'm too busy trying not to pay attention to him to know what he got. Before I know it, I feel a hot bag being placed on my lap.

"What's this?" I ask.

James holds a burger in one hand and steers the wheel with the other. "Your food."

"I said I wasn't hungry."

"Just eat the damn food."

Sighing heavily, I dig through to see what he got me. Big mac meal. How did he know that's my favourite? I open my mouth to ask, then I see a smirk on his lips. Instead of fuelling the fire of inflating his ego, I decide to eat in silence.

I'm not sure how many hours pass with the two of us crammed into an old-looking car. As much as I try to hide it, I find myself becoming much more comfortable in his presence as time passes. Nobody says a word and nothing but the low murmur of the radio fills the quiet air around us, but that doesn't matter.

For the first time since I can remember, I feel like I know him. Not just as a passerby or some insignificant person in my life. I feel like he held an important meaning in the life that I can't remember. Before, I was merely told those facts, but now, I can start to see that it may be possibly true.

And that fact alone terrifies me.

No matter how hard I try, I can't shake this uncertainty within me. I'm not sure why it's there or what the source is, but it's blocking me from opening up to him.

"Aria?" He says, startling me into focus.

"Hm?" I reply, giving him my full attention.

James' eyes are on the road ahead of us. There isn't much around us besides tall, thin trees. The road is still damp from a rainfall that we had driven through earlier and light gray clouds still hang overtop of us.

"We'll be staying in a cottage for a while. We're almost there."

"A cottage?"

He nods once. "A friend of mine owns the place." James turns into a narrow driveway; one I didn't notice was there until we drove onto it.

My eyes draw to the passing trees and bushes. The smell of pine and wood filters into the car, and that lone can help calm the beast inside of me. During the ten minute drive down this long, narrow pathway, I smile at the passing trees, imagining myself running through them with four legs instead of two and a nose that can scent everything around me.

James, true to his word, brings us to a cottage, though that isn't what I would have called it. When I think cottage, I think of those small, wooden things you'd stay in for a summer vacation. The building standing in front of me now? Not even close.

I take another moment to gawk at the cottage. It's built three stories high with many windows that give it an open feeling to it. Vines hang along the brick exterior in patterns I can't keep up with. It blends nicely with the forest background and I can't help but wonder if the interior is as captivating as the outside.

"Cottage?" I manage to say after he cuts off the ignition. "More like a mansion."

James laughs lightly at my comment. "You think so?"

"I know so."

"Come on. They won't be here until later but we should get in now to pick the best rooms."

His words catch me off guard, and I don't register them until he's already out of the vehicle. "They? Who's they?" I scramble out of the car to follow after him. "Who's they?"

James glanced behind his shoulder at me as he heads toward the front door. "As much as I wanted to spend some alone time with you, being on our own isn't a good idea right now."

"That doesn't answer my question," I point out.

Without an answer, James fishes out a key and pushes open the entryway door for us. Suddenly nervous, I step inside. It doesn't take any moment at all for my eyes to adjust, considering a number of windows displaying natural light to the living room area in front of us. There's a spiral staircase to my right and an opened area to my left.

An unknown man lurks by the wide, gated fireplace. Upon our arrival, he turns to greet us. Almond shaped green eyes, flecked with gold, narrow down at me. After a few beats, a smile stretches across his olive skin.

"Carter," James nods once in greeting. "Thanks again for letting us stay here."

The man shrugs. "Anything for an old friend," he muses. "Just don't break anything."

"We'll do our best."

The man, Carter, stops in front of us. His gaze lands on me and his smile grows. "Aria Parker. I've heard a lot about you. I hear you lost your memory."

"Seems like it," I mumble, suddenly uncomfortable.

He parts his lips, ready to say something else, but the sound of a ringtone stops him. Carter pulls out a cell phone and holds it to his ear. "Donovan," he greets curtly. His eyebrows raise in amusement; clearly, he is hearing something good on the other end of the call. "You've found her? I'll be right there." Clicking off the phone, Carter offers us one last smile. "It was nice meeting you, Aria." He lightly pats James on the shoulder in passing. "Good luck."

And then the two of us are alone again.

"Who's he?"

"A friend. Sort of." James shrugs. "More of an acquaintance, I guess." He strides forward and cranks drown the heat on the fireplace. His back is facing me; however, I can tell he is tensing. "I didn't think it'd be this hard being alone with you."

The deepness to his voice has me rooted to the ground. An unknown, surprising need suddenly enflames within me. I find myself wanting his touch. I find myself desperate to feel my skin against his. Maybe minus a few pieces of clothing...

Pull yourself together.

Seeing him start to turn, I angle my head so that black hair hides how red my cheeks have become. Through the fallen strands, I can see dark eyes staring into mine.

"Do you realize how hard I'm trying to hold back for you, Aria?"

Then don't, my lips almost form the words, but I manage to hold them back. For now, at least. I'm at a standstill. I want to close the distance between us and, clearly, so does he.

What is holding me back?

I clear my throat; a sound that slices through the thick tension like a knife to a string. "What am I supposed to sleep in?"

The darkness to his eyes fades away and I see his shoulders slightly relax. "There should already be clothes in every room. Pick any." James starts walking toward the sliding doors that lead to the backyard.

"Where are you going?"

"For a run," he replies flatly. Before I can ask him who rained on his parade, he's already shifted into a big dang wolf. I blink several times at the shards of clothing he left behind.

I spin around and head up the staircase. I choose the bedroom at the end of the hall, mostly because I can see rays of sunlight poking through the clouds and directing into that specific room. Inside, it's a cozy room. There's a small bathroom, an average TV, a queen sized bed and a few dressers. As promised, there are clothes in every drawer. I choose a loose gray t-shirt and black shorts.

To my amazement, there are all of the essentials in the bathroom; even toothbrushes still in the packages.

I take a quick shower, relishing in the calmness it gives me through all of the affliction. I use the new toothbrush, push my fingers through my knotted hair, and slip into the stranger's clothing. Feeling newly refreshed, I exit the bathroom.

The sun has long disappeared, making me realize just how long I stayed under the warm water. Slowly, I inch toward the bed and fall flat on the mattress. The softness takes me off guard and I sigh in delight.

My eyelids become heavy and I'm sure that sleep is just around the corner. Instead, I hear the door to my bedroom creak open. I don't have enough energy to move, even as I feel the mattress dip beside me.

My eyes flutter open and I see James leaning against the headboards. I can't see his expression through the shadow, yet I can still tell just how unsettled he is.

"Can I sleep here tonight?" He asks softly, causing my heart to ache for him.

I pull myself up to rest on my elbows. "On this bed?"

He nods, not meeting my eyes. "Yeah. My wolf is going crazy, Aria. Hell, I'm going crazy."

I paused a moment, truly thinking it over. "As long as you keep your hands to yourself."

My heartbeat skips at the sound of his laughter; I'm glad that his blue demeanor is slowly lifting. I didn't like seeing him upset. "No promises."

Smiling, I lower myself back down and press my face into the soft pillow. He readjusts himself on the bed. The silence hangs heavily between us; silence is much louder when it's dark.

"James?" I start, unable to hide my curiosity.

"Yeah?" I don't realize how close he is until he speaks. That's when I feel the tickle of his breath on my neck, causing a shiver to run down my spine.

"Did we sleep in the same bed a lot before..." I let my voice trail off.

He pauses, drawing out the suspicion. "A few times."

"Did we... you know..."

"We did."

"Oh."

"Just oh?"

I bite the inside of my cheek nervously. "Um... I'm sorry. This is weird."

I feel him shift. "Weird? Why is it weird?"

There is no doubt in my mind that my cheeks are now resembling lava. "I don't know. I thought I was a virgin a few weeks ago and it turns out I'm not. It's weird and... I don't know." I shake my head slowly. "I just don't know how I feel about it."

"You don't need to feel weird about it." James' hand rests on my shoulder, tightening slightly when I try to move out of it. "How can I make you fall for me again, Aria?" He whispers in defeat.

"I don't know," I whisper back. "I don't even know who I was or who you knew me to be. I'm not that person. I don't think I can be that person," I try to explain and only manage to confuse myself further. "Just... don't get your hopes up."

In a flash, I'm flipped on my back with James caging me in. An irritated look takes over his features. "Don't get my hopes up? Are you serious?"

"What do you expect me to say?" I bite back, regardless of the fact an angered man is hovering above me. "That I'll fall back into the same person you met? That'll I'll love you again? I don't remember loving you, James. I. Don't. Remember. You. I can't promise you that everything will be okay. Nothing is going to be the same. Stop thinking otherwise."

The silence slowly turns my anger to fear. I don't know what I fear, only that I feel it. Slowly, his snarl changes to that of a frown, then nothing at all. He leans down slightly and, for a moment, I'm sure he is going to kiss me.

Just before our lips come into contact, he's off of me. James charges for the bedroom door. "Fine." He grips the doorway frame almost fatally. "Nothing will be the same? Fine. But there is no chance in Hell I'm giving up on us, Aria."

Slam. The sound has me jumping slightly in my position. I stare wide-eyed at the roof above me, surprised by the tears.

Don't cry. Don't cry. You don't even know him. You do... but you don't. My hands grip onto my head and I let out an aggravated groan.

I know him, but I don't. He knows me. They all know me. Or they knew who I was. They knew the Aria before losing her memory. There was no way she was coming back.

I nod, more to myself. My memory isn't coming back. I have to accept that. They have to accept that. They also had to accept that I can't morph myself into the same girl they knew so well.

I'm different now, and until James realizes that, there is no possibility of us ever being together, regardless of the pain that causes my heart.

⫷⫸

I'm staring into eyes the colour of the moon. The menacing look that my predator is giving me should have me shaking in my boots. Instead, I feel calm. It's as though my entire body has accepted my fate. Even if that fate is resulting in me being eaten alive by a rabid looking wildebeest.

"Who are you?" My voice carries around me in constant sequence; an echo that physically does not make sense to me. Even as I ask the question, I know the answer deep down. "You're my wolf," I mutter.

The air around us is light enough that I feel as though I'm floating on clouds. We're standing in a forest as quiet as death. The moon shines above us and the entire area is impossibly still. It's as though we are the only ones who exist in this world.

The wolf nods once at me, although I can tell she is irritated.

I fold my arms across my chest as I admire her beauty. "Are you here to help me out or something?"

She shakes her head no.

"Can you even talk?"

There's a pause that settles between us. I'm about to admit my defeat until I hear a laugh fill around me. Her voice is in every direction, surrounding me completely. "Yes, I can talk, you idiot. But I'm weak and I'm getting weaker every day."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Hold onto me as much as you can."

"And how am I supposed to do that? Buy a leash?"

She growls at my comment, yet does not add a retort. Instead, she gives me a suggestion that I don't think I'm ready to hear. "Let James in. Don't push him away. If you do, then you push me away."

My shoulders hunch forward. "I don't know if I can do that," I admit bleakly. I don't know why, but the thought of letting James in terrifies me somehow. "Whenever I'm around him I... I don't know... but mind just... warns me. Like I don't want to remember anything. Like everything would be better off if I just didn't get my memories back."

"Of course there are things you won't want to remember," my wolf snaps. "Do you think the life of a werewolf is easy? And a hybrid, no less. Fuck! The point is that there are good memories too. Don't you want to remember all of those good times with James? Don't you want to remember falling in love with him?."

I suck in a sharp breath. Unfortunately, she has a point. Just as I'm about to say something back to her, I feel myself slipping away. I call out to her but, to no avail, I'm being yanked from the revelation and brought back to the harsh realities of my life.

"Aria?" I blink several times until I focus on a figure directly beside me. Is it James? The thought is fleeting, yet still manages to put me in a state of confusion. Part of me wants it to be him. "How're you feeling?"

I blink several times to get used to the lighting. It can't be James; the voice belongs to a girl. Looking to my side, I see a concerned Kasey. "Hi," I croak.

"Hi," she says with a smile.

I glance around me; I'm in the room I had slept in the first night. My entire body feels like weights have been strapped onto it. There's a pounding in my head and I'm sure if I make the wrong move, I'll end up barfing all over the both of us.

"How long have I been asleep?"

Her eyes trail down to her hands. "A few days," she murmurs.

"Days?" I spring out of the bed in a hurry and immediately regret it. My legs crack from the sudden movement. Kasey stabilizes me before I embarrassingly topple over. "How did that even happen?" I groan.

"You pushed yourself too hard," she explains with the lift of a shoulder. "Listen, Caleb and I have to run some errands today. I'm glad you're awake. If you need anything, call me and I'll be back in a jiffy. Sounds good?"

I nod slowly, trying to process the whole days thing. "Sure," I mumble. "Thanks, Kasey."

"Not a problem! Now, I'll be off." With one last smile, she leaves me alone.

I narrow my eyes at the emptiness of the room. She sure left fast. Shrugging indifferently, I amble out of the room and down the stairs. Every movement feels forced, like I'm not used to being physically active just right.

Days? Ugh.

The first place I go to is the kitchen. I pull out the first thing I spot in the fridge which happens to be leftover lasagna. I scarf down the food quite quickly and, to my happy surprise, there is cheesecake for dessert.

After cleaning up, washing, and pulling on a new set of clothing, I find myself alone in the large cottage. I'm standing in the living room area with my hands on my hips and my eyes on the window.

Where did everyone go?

I start pacing around the rooms in hopes to shake all the kinks in my joints from sleeping for so long. Honestly, I could go for a full on sprint and still have enough energy to get me through the day. I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep again.

My snooping brings me into a room I had yet to visit. It's on the main floor at the end of a hall. The door sways slightly ajar. Peeking in, I notice a small library. The books appear dusty and unused. Several sheets hang over the furniture. My eyes settle on a grand piano sitting beside the window with a beautiful view of the forest. A sheet hides half the piano.

I inch forward and find myself directly in front of the gorgeous instrument. Pulling off the sheet, I admire the smooth black surface of the piano. I start pulling at the top so the sound will be more open. Before I can convince myself otherwise, I'm sitting on the stool with my hands resting on the keys.

Maybe music therapy will make me feel better. Music always makes me feel better. From what I can remember, the worst thing that happened to me happened at a young age. Whenever it felt a little too hard to breathe, I'd brush my sweaty palms on my pants and play a tune for my parents. Through their teary smiles, I knew that they knew I was barely holding it together. Still, they clapped and yelled 'Encore!'

My bottom lip trembles. I shouldn't have left them. I just want my mom to hug me, even though I have and always will hate hugs.

The brush of the keys underneath my fingertips feels like heaven. I think I might have actually sighed a bit. Music therapy should help with my headaches. Maybe it will also help with my uncontrollable urge to rip my hair out and scream at the sky.

We shall see.

Comptine d'un autre ete. It's the first semi-complicated song I ever learned. It always was the first song I played whenever presented with a piano. Call me a bit of a boaster, but I like the attention when it comes to piano playing. Or singing. Okay, maybe even acting.

What can I say? Some people are born to be on stage.

Each note carries into my ears and I lose myself in the beautiful melody. When I finish the song, I play it again... and again, and again. I can't seem to get enough of the song. The notes stick with me, almost like they're trying to tell me something.

I press the keys harder with more aggression. My teeth grit at a force that worries my enamel. What was supposed to help my headaches seems to be causing it, as I can't even open my eyes without wincing from the light hovering around me.

Still, I play on.

The throbbing travels to the front of my brain. At the back part, where dust settles, a little voice tells me that I'm being stupid and I should stop playing and hide away under some blankets. I, like the intelligent young woman I am, ignore that voice.

A memory tickles my mind.

My fingers numb from the force I inflict in my playing. This song, which should be soft and classy, becomes hard and angry. I play faster and faster, allowing the desperation to carry me. I can feel the memory. It's merely a blurry image, but with each note being played, it becomes clearer.

I trickle of blood trails down my nose and onto my mouth. I let out a quiet whimper from the pain in my head.

But I'm so close.

I can see James. He's standing beside me. He looks so... happy. I can feel my own happiness at the time. I can't quite make out where we are, only that we sit in front of a grand piano. I smile warmly at him before turning to the keys. "This is called Comptine d'Un Autre Été."

Someone shakes my shoulders, causing the memory to disappear in the blink of an eye. I jolt out of my spot, in a daze at first. It takes a few moments to realize the person who brought me back to reality is speaking.

"What the hell were you doing?" My heart flutters at the sound of his voice. I glance up to see James with worry written all over his face. His hands hold my shoulders firmly. "You're bleeding," he points out. James rips off a piece of his shirt and begins wiping the blood off of my face. I'm unable to move as he does so.

"I..." My eyes focus on him and I feel overwhelmed with emotion. "I remember," I breath out.

He pauses. "You... do?"

I instantly feel guilty for giving him so much hope. "Not everything," I say quickly, watching his shoulders deflate. "I remember playing the song for you," I explain in a hushed voice. "I also remember that you suck at dancing."

After a few moments of looking at me with a blank expression, he finally cracks a smile. "Of all the things to remember," he teases.

"Hey. Take what you can get."

His eyes flicker to the piano, then back to me. "Don't push yourself so hard."

I rub at my temples. "I didn't mean to."

James kneels down in front of me, placing his arms on both sides of my thighs on the surface of the chair. Aware of our closeness, I feel my cheeks heating up and I try to hide it with my hair. James, however, decides to push my hair behind my ear.

"What are you doing?" I whisper, not quite sure if I even want him to back away.

"I just want to be close to you," he murmurs, his lips dangerously close to my own. "Is that a crime?"

"It could be," I utter, suddenly breathless. "You know, sexual harassment and all that."

James smirks at my nervousness. I suddenly feel his arms slid around until I am caged in by his arms. "You should be surprised I've kept my hands off of you for so long." James leans back. "But, I won't push you."

It feels right, being so close to him. But, no matter how right it feels, there's always something holding me back. It's like this sickening feeling in the pits of my stomach that is stopping me from letting him in.

It's so strong that I almost end up pushing him away from me. Before I have the chance to, James pulls forward and presses his lips against my own. Instant sparks ignite within my body. James lifts me up and sits on the stool so that I'm straddling him.

I melt into his touch, as though it's where I was always supposed to be. My fingers run through his hair and I press myself closer to his chest. James' grip on my waist tightens, although not painfully.

I lose myself in his embrace. Throughout all of these events, I finally feel safe. His lips are rough against my own as if he were holding back for so long. I can feel his passion, his need to do this.

James gently tugs at my bottom lip, causing me to let out a breathless sigh in satisfaction. He rests his forehead against my own and moves his hands to cup my cheeks. We're both breathing hard, with hearts racing in our chests.

"Please don't leave me," he breaths and I feel my heart breaking at the sadness in his voice.

My hands fall from his hair and wrap around his neck. "I promise," I whisper. James wraps his arms tightly around me.

"Did I come at a bad time?" The voice from the door startles me; I accidentally slam my palms against James' chest and send myself flying onto the floor. "Oops. Did I scare you?"

"What the hell do you want, Finn?" James growls.

I scramble up to stand, brushing off the dirt from my pants. My cheeks are aflame with what Finn just witnessed. I can barely meet Finn's stare, although I know he's sending me a mischievous grin. His smile instantly fades once he looks over at James.

"We have sort of a problem."

"What is it?"

"The barrier around these grounds? Yeah, they're broken. Oh, and you won't believe who did it."