*Song for this chapter, This I Promise You by NSYNC.*
***
Three weeks.
Twenty one days have passed since I have seen Harry. The fact is, I missed him. I missed him more than my entire being and for that, I blamed no one else but me.
Since that basketball event took place, I hadn't seen him. Sure, he was kind enough to regularly ask me about my health, my school, my studies and whatnot. I didn't even hesitate to answer him within a second.
Harry told me that lately he had been busy with all his gym training since he had been assigned to a higher post. I'm more than happy for it.
He asked me if he could celebrate it with me. And me being me, I quickly denied it saying that I had my school work. He didn't mind it but I am sure he had been hurt.
Last weekend, he even called me to spend time with him and I quickly said no for an excuse that mom was unwell and I needed to take care of her.
Now another weekend was awaiting and I was still doubting if I should call him or not. My eyes craved for his presence and my hands itched to touch his skin. I was mercilessly ignoring his calls to meet me just because I was afraid.
I was afraid because it had never happened with me before. I had never felt so needed and special by someone. Just the thought of Harry made my heart flutter. He unknowingly raised my heartbeat. His touch in every way possible seeped right through my skin reaching to my heart creating more space in it. Concluding that Harry Styles was occupying my brain more than I could ever imagine.
I felt vulnerable, my pessimistic side was finding a way back in me. What if he didn't feel the same way? What if he will run out of my life? If he will not run away, then what if he still considered me any other regular friend? What if Harry loses his trust in me?
I didn't even know when during these darkening thoughts unwanted tears started spilling out of my eyes. No matter what I did, no matter what I thought, Harry will be in my mind forever. Even if I'll side-corner him, I'll only end up thinking more about him.
By now my whole cushion was stained with tears. My darkened room was representing my state of mind. Just a ray of moonlight was there. Yet I was absolutely direction-less. Lacking life and light. Most of all, lacking Harry's presence.
My blanket was tightly pressed by my hands to my chest hoping that it would be Harry.
My old friends were all fake. Their presence was there but they never considered me important. I had never shown them the 'serious' side of me. Maybe I didn't want them to discover because I knew, they will fade away. But the case is entirely different for Harry.
He knew me perfectly. He knew when did I need what. When I felt insecure, when I needed space, when I wanted someone to hug me. Hugs, fuck his hugs. I missed the perfect embrace. I missed his strong comforting arms. I missed him. I will say it until I feel the need too.
"But what if one makes you fall in love? What would you do then?"
"I-I don't actually know. If I'll feel anything like that, I'll tell this to you."
Our long forgotten conversation came back in my mind. I'm sure I didn't love him, at least not for now but I definitely felt something for him. And it will be better if I tell him. Shall I?
But now? How can I even disturb him? He has been so perfect for me.
Again more stupid tears rolled off my eyes.
I fumbled on my way to study and quickly grabbed the phone off the table surprisingly without even turning on the light and dialed his number. It took few seconds.
A thick sleepy voice came."Baby?"
Shit Harry don't make me cry more. I couldn't contain the voice of my quiet sob.
"Fuck, baby, why are you crying? Shit what happened?" I heard him slightly shuffling. Maybe he was sitting up. "Do you want me to come there?" His voice was more alert now.
"Y-yes." I choked out.
"Okay. Please don't worry. I'll be there before you'll imagine." He quickly hung up the phone and I sat on the edge of my bed taking my face in my hands.
Soon after, there was a knock on the window and I quickly unlocked it.
Harry effortlessly climbed in and without hesitating wrapped his arms around me. I cried instantly in his chest.
"No baby no. Please don't cry. Everything will be okay. See? I'm here. Shh.. Don't baby."
He purred in my ear leaving me to cry more. His words always reached to my heart no matter whatever he said.
"I'm going to sit on the bed okay? Don't cry." He rubbed my back and I tried to concentrate on his fast breathing and beating of his heart.
I felt as if the whole ground was going away and I was being pulled up.
He gently made me straddle his torso and brought me close to him yet again.
I made his t-shirt soak in tears. So many tears that I can't even imagine. "I don't like seeing you like this. Please tell me what happened. Did someone hurt you?" His voice was cracking. Was he crying too?
I shook my head and pulled away just to look at him. "I-I just want to cry. I don't know what is happening. I don't feel okay."
"Take your time. Gather your thoughts. Whatever it is I will make this go away. I promise." He cupped my face and wiped off fresh tears from my face.
I took a deep shaky breath and began. "Harry, I, I don't know but I miss you. It's like you have total grip on my mind. I don't know what to conclude of it. I don't know if it's good or not. All these days I was just thinking when did this all happen? When you got so closer to me that you became my habit and the worst thing is what if you go away?" I took a breath again and opened my mouth to continue but nothing came out.
"Oh, my sweetheart." He slightly shook his head pulled me in his chest once again. "I'm partly relieved and partly angry for you saying this."
"Why?" My voice came out muffled because I was busy inhaling his familiar colonge. Not forgetting I was scared of what he will say now.
"I'm angry because you didn't say it early, you took so much time. And I'm happy because you feel the same way as I do." He was playing with my hair strands making me feel almost sleepy but what he said made me wide awake.
I again looked into his green eyes which were visible because of the moonlight falling on him. He couldn't be more perfect.
He smiled. "Baby, if this is only the case then please, don't cry because you have become my habit too. I can't even spend a single fucking second without thinking of you."
I felt as if huge weight was lifted off my chest. Now I could breathe properly.
"Everything that you do, everything that you say, they are imprinted in my mind and I keep on recalling them. Your smile, your jokes, your views for this world, your sarcasm, everything. I knew these things were new to you that's why I gave you time to think all about this. Now that you have sorted them out, I will say it's completely normal yet special thing because I feel the same way. Trust me I'm not going to let you go. I will be here for you forever, I am not going anywhere." His thumb brushed my cheekbones and I shuddered under his soft touch.
Out of nowhere I felt the need to be closer to him. I had given both of us a lot sufferings. But right now, seeing him sitting here with me, listening to me, pouring his heart out, his eyes, everything was perfect. He was my perfect.
Our faces were inches away and our breathing were unrestrained. What should I do? Kiss him? But how?
His eyes roamed from my eyes to my cheeks then dropped down to my lips. He blew out a shaky breath and bit his lower lip. To moisturise them, his tongue darted out. Could he get any more seducing?
Fuck it Harry.
I slowly attached my lips to his. He appeared to be shocked at first but then quickly recovered and started moving his lips. The fact was, I stopped because I didn't know what to do next.
Sensing this he smiled and started massaging my lower lip slightly deepening the kiss. I felt too much pleasured. His kisses were addiction. His one hand rested on my cheek and other one on my waist to keep me steady. I didn't know what to do of my hands so I just rested them on his hard muscular chest.
His lips were so soft, like rose petals and plump like a fresh fruit. So I took his lower lip between my teeth and gently bit it. He was so tasty. God, I sound like a vamp.
He moaned and ran his delicious tongue along my upper lip. I gasped giving him a chance to slide his tongue inside my mouth.
I was feeling like a sea of emotions was flooding my brain. I was too occupied so I breathlessly pulled away.
"Baby." He breathed out and his voice a lot more raspy and deep. "Fuck, your lips taste like chocolate." He gave me a knowing satisfied smirk.
With my chest rising and falling quickly, I played with the collar of his shirt, "I may have eaten chocolate ice cream a couple of minutes before you came." A deep blush crept across my cheeks and I buried my head in his chest.
He chuckled and pulled me closer to him. "This was your first kiss right? Pretty girl you are really a great learner." His confession caused more butterflies in my stomach.
"Let's go to bed okay?" He quietly asked and I nodded. I stood up and he moved to my bed.
"Come on now. Let's have some action." He winked and I playfully rolled my eyes.
"Thank you." I curled up in his side and he pulled sheets over us.
"Thank you for what, baby?"
"Everything. Understanding me, being with me." I kissed his jaw. He momentarily closed his eyes and spoke with closed eyelids.
"You have helped me more Angry Bird. Thank you for being here in my life. I couldn't be more satisfied." He pulled me more closer to him.
"Harry?"
"Hmm?"
"Don't leave me again please."
"I won't. Never."
And we both fell into deep slumber.
He is the moonlight of my darkness. The warm afternoon of my freezing winters.
***
A/N
I wanna be last yeah, baby let me be your, let me be your last first kiss.
I wanna be first yeah, wanna the first to take it all away like this.
Aahhh!!!!! First kiss.
Harry's lips are goals af man.
That was your new chapter.
Twitter: @MohikaArya
Take care. X
Until next time,
Much love,
Mohika Arya.