I promise you there will be some chapters that are FUCKED UP, and this is only the first one.
There will be several chapters throughout Shawn's story that are worst than this one. You probably will be wondering.."how can anything be worst than this?" but trust me.
This story will start to have a lot of fuckery going on.
I don't know how you guys will feel. I'm just ..astonished to be honest. I just kept typing.
-Bea
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"Them dirty men be messing with Monae."
My head snapped to the left hearing Juju's barely there voice speak up. "What?" Juju didn't repeat herself, but I had heard her. I just didn't understand what she was talking about. I wanted to ask her to explain, but Juju never said much. When she did speak you listened.
I had been with Monae now for about three months.
She was a lot of fun to be around, and she was real easy to talk to. I had started helping her watch Juju whenever her Mom would go out. It was 9pm on a Friday night, and Monae's Mom had just left at 830.
I had come over immediately.
We played games with Juju for a couple hours, and then Monae threw up everywhere. I had already figured she was pregnant especially since we had started fucking since day one. I'm not ready to be a dad, and I knew Olivia, and Kayla would kill me, but I know she pregnant despite her not saying anything to me about it.
I was watching Juju, while Monae relaxed up in her room.
Juju just looked at me intently. "She does it for me." I shook my head clueless. "Juju, what you talking about?" Juju slurped her milk down before looking at me at me again. She said nothing -- she just got up walking out of the kitchen. I sighed before putting her empty glass in the sink.
I walked to Monae's room to see how she was doing.
She was hunched over next to the trashcan in her room. She was definitely pregnant. I rubbed a hand down my face. "I'm getting a job." I told her. Monae looked up at me still dry heaving. Finally she sat back holding her stomach.
"Why?"
"Your pregnant Monae." Monae shook her head. "Its just a stomach thing." I shook my head. "Babe, you're pregnant." Monae started to cry. "My mom will kill me." I sit beside her hugging her. "Look I'm scared too, but I can get a job Monae."
Monae looked at me. "You would take care of the baby? Our baby?" I nodded slowly with uncertainty. I didn't know nothing about kids. .
Monae hugged me tight. I hugged her back scared out of my mind. I definitely didn't want no kid right now. "What are you gonna do for work Shawn>" I shrugged. "I don't know. Imma apply at some places though. Don't worry about it." I got up pacing back and fourth thinking.
"We need to tell your Mom,and my sister's"
Monae jumped up immediately. "No! We cant!" I know she scared, but we really need some help. "Monae, we gotta tell em." Monae shook her head. "No, we can't Shawn, please." I eyed her strangely.
"We'll tell em when you get about 4months along then. We need to find out how far along-"
"NO!" Monae shrieked interrupting me. I looked her oddly. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Monae shook her head nervously. "Im just scared." I nodded. "Me too. We gonna get through this." I slumped down into the floor beside her.
Monae eyed me. "Promise." I held out my pinkie. She laced her pinkie with mine.
As soon as school ended Monday. I was applying for all the major grocery stores in my area. I didn't get a call till the week after. I made up some bullshit about having more to do when Kayla, and Olivia started questioning me.
I dropped out of freshman football. I really didn't want to, but I gotta do what I gotta do. Ain't no time for games.
I started working from 430pm-830pm Monday-Saturday. The only day I had off was Sunday. I didn't even care cause I knew I had to provide. I would go to school, come home, go to work, straight to sleep.
My life was no longer mine to enjoy.
Olivia, and Kayla started telling me to quit when they saw the toll it was taking on me. They started asking even more questions when I got mad at them for tryna make me quit. I finally told them.
"Monae is pregnant..."
Olivia was pissed immediately, Kayla just looked shock. Olivia immediately started going off on me. She was punching me in the chest, the face. I started fight her back. I was tired, as well as stressed, and now she had the nerve to put her hands on me.
I started to fuck her face up. Kayla grabbed me tight. I started to crying struggling from her til I got weak.
"I'm not ready to be a dad."..... "I'm not ready to be a dad."....."I'm not ready to be a dad."
I kept saying the over, and over through my tears. I couldn't take it, not by myself. Olivia held me and Kayla tightly.
The next day Olivia, and Kayla sat down with me and Monae. Monae was crying the entire time. "Is not his." She finally whispered. Never in my life have I wanted to beat a girls ass so badly. Kayla grabbed me when my fists balled up.
This bitch ruined my life. She cheated on me!!! And was acting like the little nigga in her stomach was mine.
Somebody was about to fucking die....
"Whose baby is it Monae?" Monae started talking frantically about all her Mom's "men". It soften me up a little, but not by much. 'I'm sorry Shawn." She finally spoke to me. I glared down at her. "I'm sorry you gotta all that going on, but you are fucked up. How could you lead this shit on!" I was screaming at her. Monae was crying. I broke free from Kayla charging at Monae.
I gripped her neck tight, and started to shake the hell out of her. "
"SHAWN!" Olivia screamed grabbed my arms restraining me. Monae grabbed her neck stumbling out the apartment terrified. Kayla ran after her leading her back into the apartment. I figured she didn't want Monae to tell anybody. I was disgusted by her now.
I don't know if that's right or wrong, but she can call the police, or tell her Mom.
Kayla called Monae's Mom immediately after that. Monae screamed the whole time beating Kayla in the back. We were all crying when Monae's Mom came over. Juju had her ears covered tears rolling down her own face.
Monae didn't want to abort, so we started talking about adoption. Kayla sent me, and Monae in another room to talk after a long while.
"I'm sorry Shawn, I'm so sorry." Monae started to cry while I was looking at her. I didn't know what to say to her. I was still mad at her, real mad. I dropped my life to take care of a baby that wasn't even mine.
She had left me clueless.
"I can't even forgive you right now." Monae moved closer to me to grab my hand. 'Please Shawn Ive been through to much to lose you." I laughed. "If you didn't wanna lose me you should have talked to me Monae. It's to late for you to be tryna play my girlfriend." I snatched my hand away from her. "Frankly, I can't even look at you right now. I wanna hurt you." I told her as tears of anger fell from my own eyes.
Monae blinked tears of sadness. "Shawn.."
I shook my head. "It's over Monae. It's so bad that I don't even wanna fuck with you as a friend nor more either." Monae swallowed hard. "Shawn." I shook my head. "Have a nice life." I told her walking to my room. I slammed my door so hard the apartment shook.
I fell right into my bed crying out of hurt, anger, and distress
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