1917
"I wouldn't mind a bit of gangrene if it got me a few weeks in bed."
Luke grins at me cheekily from his chair and I can't help but laugh, especially when a stern looking nurse gives him an disapproving glare.
"So you're going back to England then?" He asks once the nurse has moved away.
"Yeah. Looks like it." I shift, wincing at the red hot pain in my leg. I almost faint every time the nurse changes the dressing, not only from the agony, but also the horrific sight of raw, seeping crater of plup that used to be smooth flesh.
"Great." He grins, pushing back his blond hair in his customary way. "I'm pleased for you mate. Now I won't have to bloody worry about keeping a look out for you with that bastard. Reckon he's done you a favour."
He leans back and takes a swig from his hip flask before offering it to me. The nurse would go crazy if she found out, but I can't not have one last drink with Luke. I don't think I'll ever taste brandy again without picturing his grinning face.
"What about you?" I say hesitantly.
"What about me?" He frowns. Although I'll miss him, parting with Luke is not like parting with Jimmy. Luke is a good friend, but he doesn't need anyone. He's just as happy with you there are with you not.
"You'll be ok won't you? With Darlington-"
"Yeah I'll be fine." He shrugs. "I've got a score to settle with him-"
"Don't do anything stupid." I urge.
"I've got a score to settle with him. I swore it over Tommy's grave. That jumped up bastard will get what's coming to him."
"Luke." I say warningly. I know how reckless he is and it worries me.
"I'll be alright Harry. Always am." He smiles as if he hasn't a care in the world and looks around the ward. We sit in companionable silence for a while before he speaks again.
"Got a letter from Coleen yesterday." He says suddenly. I wait for him to continue. "She's met a new fella. Send back early because of some injury."
"I'm sorry Luke." I say quietly.
"I'm not." He shrugs. "I'm relived more than anything. Never really did want to get married, couldn't really picture myself doing it. It just sort of felt like it's what you're supposed to do and Coleen was eager as anything so I just went along with it. I just hope the poor lad isn't expecting his new wife to be a virgin." He grins wickedly and I laugh.
He hands his hip flask to me again and I take a long sip. I nearly choke as I spot the nurse bustling towards us and I quickly hide the drink by my side.
"Visiting time is up. Private Styles needs his rest. You've got 5 minutes." She says archly. Luke's cheerfulness on a her sombre ward has irritated her since he got here.
We watch her march away. Luke opens his mouth to speak but I'm aware of how little time we have left and I cut in.
"Thank you Luke. I wouldn't even be sitting here now if it wasn't for you, I don't remember much but you saved my life-"
"Alright, alright." He waves his hands to shush me. "You don't have to declare your undying love for me."
The doors at the end of the ward open and the nurse glares at him pointedly."
"It's nothing Harry. What are mates for?" He stands, pulling a piece of paper and a small pencil from his pocket. "Can I have your address? I'd like to write to you, or at least know how I could find an old pal if I ever visit England."
I take the paper from him and it occurs to me that I have no address. I belong nowhere. After a moments pause I write down the address for Ashbury manor. If I ever had a home that was it, although I have no idea if I'd be welcome to return.
"I'll write to you when I get to England." I say. He gives me a strange smile before reaching over and clasping my arm.
"Good luck Harry, wherever your path takes you, I wish you happiness all of your days."
"And I too you."
He nods and I watch his lean frame as it moves down the sunlit ward. He turns back at the door and I'm sure I see his cheeky grin aimed at me one last time before he's gone.
I'm left with a strange hollow feeling. Somehow it feels like that is the last I'll ever see of him.
***
Evelyn
It's strange how somewhere that you've grown to love can change. All it takes is a single incident. A single presence and it no longer feels like your safe haven anymore.
My entire life I'd known luxury beyond measure, but I realise now that my small, sparse nurses lodgings have felt more luxurious than the manor in which I grew up, or the huge townhouse with servants in which I lived with Robert. Despite the hard, gruesome work, I've never been so unconstricted, I've had prove myself for the first time in my life. My name, family and title mean nothing here and that's freedom in itself. A beautiful bird in a golden cage is still a prisoner compared to a common starling.
But Roberts presence in my room has changed it. I can see it how it must look to him, grey and cold. His lip curled in distaste when he entered. Of course, he doesn't see the other side of the life I live here but it's no use explaining it to him.
I'd half expected him to force himself upon me the moment he arrived, or to shout or make a scene, but to my surprise he has barely spoken in the last two hours. The acrid smell of his endless cigarettes has fills my room, making it seem even less mine.
He's spent the entire time staring at me and I can't read the expression on his face, but it makes me unsettled nevertheless.
"Evelyn." My name sounds strange on his lips. I look up at him and to my surprise he seems to be weighing up his words carefully.
"You should know I never wanted it to be like this." I sit stiffly, waiting for him to go on, wondering what mind game he's playing now. He frowns at me before continuing. "I never imagined myself in a marriage with a woman who obviously hates me so deeply."
You made me hate you.
I don't say this but the image of the many nights he forced himself on to me, the cruel words and games, the way he snatched Bobby from me races through my mind and bitterness rises in my chest.
"You came into our marriage pregnant with another mans child. I saw him riding you like a common whore in that tiny servants cottage of his." He says bitterly. "Worse than that, you never gave me a chance. You loved him with everything you had and there was nothing left for me. It wasn't what I had envisioned of marriage and I daresay it wasn't what you'd dreamt of either."
I stare down at the threadbare rug at my feet. He seems to be expecting me to answer, so with courage I didn't know I had I speak, fighting to keep my voice level.
"You knew this before we married. You married me to repay your debts and you knew nothing would change after. You've given me no reason to feel any softness towards you." My voice trembles.
"True." There's that edge, the side of him that he can't suppress. "But you haven't made this easy. I married a beautiful well bred woman, it could all have been so different. If you'd have shown me any trace of the affection you reserved for him..."
The silence hangs heavy between us.
"War is hell. Sheer hell, Evelyn. I think we all lose sight of who we are, but perhaps also reflect on who we became and what we really were."
He stands and I flinch but he doesn't move towards me.
"I wish it had been different." He says simply.
He lights another cigarette and I state down at the floor, wondering if I dare ask it.
"I've asked that you be moved to camp nearer where I am situated." He says eventually.
I glance up at him and the only thing I hear from that is that I'll be nearer to Harry. Blood pulses through my ears and I open my mouth to speak but he cuts me off.
"Private Styles took a shrapnel wound that became infected." He says coldly.
I nod as if this is unimportant to me but my mind is racing. I feel sick with worry.
"Evelyn." Something in voice makes me look, for the first time, into those cold, handsome features. He's gazing at me with an odd expression.
"Styles didn't make it. He died two days ago."
***
Dedicated to @Rachel99xoxo Thanks for reading and your kind comments ❤️