Borderline

Borderline Happy

If they keep stopping me like this, whoever they are, will i stay borderline happy ? Or will i become fully happy, with little to no saddness?
Let me tell you, <y/n>. Being borderline happy can effect you badly, you'll get so clingy to that happiness you'd crush anyone who breaks it in a second , you start to not want those you love to leave you EVER , even if it's someone important , and then you get so mad , they leave , and never come back , and you just want to end it all , but you can't because the one friend that is always there says no.
Ironically , this one person, is a person i met online, a girl, of my age, someone who's different and stays happy often, but also cares. I won't mention her name, but she is always there and i try my best not to be mad at her or hurt her, and we play games and do competitions, its fun actually, and distracts me. So why does this not help me all the time, how come i cant stop my thoughts from wandering? Why am i borderline sad as well....