Marisole's mom worried that she was too unstable to go back to Maine. Marisole assured her what happened the day before was just an accident. Marisole lied to her mom and told her that she just tripped and fell. Her mom was still not convinced.
Marisole had her bags packed and ready to leave. She felt like she was forgetting something. Walking back into her room, she retrieved the stack of papers on the bed. She walked back out and shoved them into her suitcase. She was void of any emotion.
"I love you sweety, you can come back and visit any time you want." Her mom told her, smiling.
Marisole nodded and brought her mom in for a hug. "I would stay, but there is something I need to take care of. I love you too, mom."
And with that, Marisole grabbed the last of her things and walked to the front door. "I'll call you when I reach Maine." She yelled before shutting the door behind her.
~
It has been an hour since Marisole got back to her apartment. She was pacing the lounge floor biting her nails and breathing unevenly. She took deep breaths and thought about the pier in her mind. What used to be a lovely place to escape to, has become a nightmare. She's not ready to face him.
"I've got to do this," Marisole said aloud. She stomped to her room and grabbed the drawings, clutching them under her arm. She made her way to the front door but stopped when she clutched the doorknob. It was cold. For a second, Marisole contemplated just not going. She stepped back. Maybe the more she avoids him, the less she'll see of him. Maybe he'll lose interest and forget about her. But the main question on her mind was, who was he exactly? She had drawings of him from when she was 13 years old. Ellis looks exactly the same as he did in the drawings.
Marisole needed answers. She couldn't just blow this off. She left her apartment and walked down the street towards the pier. She peeked around the corner of the building that was closest to the dock and didn't see anything but the boats at first. She studied the area. It looked the same from when she left it. She stepped out into the open and slowly started towards the pier.
Suddenly, the familiar cyan sailboat rolled up to the dock. Marisole froze, and took a couple of steps back. She was scared, she regretted coming down here, all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and disappear. She wasn't ready to tell him about the drawings. But she had to.
She watched Ellis as he stepped off of the boat and onto the pier. He was drenched head to toe with water and he looked very distraught. He wringed out his clothing the best he could and shook his wet hair furiously. With a sharp turn, he grabbed his fishing tools and began to walk down the pier in Marisole's direction. He looked so lost. Marisole could see the bags under his eyes were darker.
No, I can't do this now, he's upset.
But it was already too late. Ellis spots Marisole in the distance and it's like a fresh new lightbulb was installed. His face brightens and the solemn frown turned into a big smile. He drops his fishing gear and walks down the pier faster. Marisole heard him laugh with glee. She didn't smile because she knew what she had to do. Her heart was hurting.
"Marisole!" Ellis exclaims as he got closer. "Marisole, I know it's only been-" He stops a couple feet away when he sees her grimace. "What's the matter?" He asks gently.
Marisole remained quiet as she took out the stack of paper. Ellis watched her every move with a look of confusion.
"Ellis...I was at my mom's for the past three days," Marisole began, looking at him for a reaction. He nods, urging her to continue, "It was weird being back home, and I honestly wish I had never went back."
Ellis began to look worried. "What happened?"
"I found this box, Ellis. With these drawings in them." Marisole handed Ellis the papers. For a second, he looked at them reluctantly, then he finally took them in his hands. Marisole's pulse quickened with each drawing he looked at. Ellis was concentrating intensely. She noticed he stiffened when he got to the picture with the boat. She closed her eyes and heaved a sigh, ready to explain herself.
"I just found them in this little red box and I am still so fucking confused- why did I have drawings of you? This is so weird, and I don't know if somebody had drawn them and broke into my house, or if-"
"I'm sorry." Ellis simply says, cutting Marisole off. She stares at him.
"What do you mean?" She persists. He looks away. "Why are you apologizing?"
"Marisole, these are your drawings."
She freezes and shakes her head defensively. "No, no no no, that doesn't make any sense-why would I-"
"Marisole," Ellis gets closer, but she just backs up, "You drew these when you were 13."
"I didn't even know you when I was 13! You would've been 19 anyway, and that would've made you a pedophile!" Marisole points at him angrily.
"Listen, Marisole, I wasn't-"
"Don't fucking tell me lies!" Marisole screamed, her voice raw.
"I'm not lying to you, baby, I never lied to you, and I never will." Ellis tries to consol her and grab her hands, but she pushes him away.
"Bullshit! I never knew you! You are a scam, you're pranking me! Why can't you leave me alone?"
"That would be impossible."
"You make me sick, I'm actually gonna call the police if you don't leave, right now."
"You created me, Marisole!" Ellis finally shouts, and everything goes silent. "You gave me life. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."
"Really? That's how low you're going? Just stop it. I'm not buying your shit." Marisole shakes her head and walks away.
"You were 13 when you ran up to the attic to hide. You were bleeding from your forehead. Did you see the spots on the drawing?"
She stops walking. "Excuse me?"
"Just come look at this."
Marisole turns around and stares at him. She walks back and takes the drawing, examining the faded brown spots that were splattered on the corner. She looks up at him, dumbfounded.
"How did you know?" She asked him with apprehension.
"You needed a friend, so you began to draw a man, not really going off of somebody as a reference, only looking into your mind for aid. This man was different. He wasn't perfect to the world, but he was perfect in your eyes. And that's what was important.
"I became that person that comforted you and made you feel like you were somebody. And look at this," Ellis takes out the drawing with the both of them on the boat, "You drew this so we could sail away together. Just the two of us."
"You're lying to me." Marisole choked out.
Ellis shook his head and looked away in defeat. "You'll never believe me, Marisole, and that's okay, that's who you are, and I love you just for that."
More silence.
"If this is true, then you're not real."
"I'm as real as you believe me to be."
It was quiet again. Marisole looked down and took Ellis' hand. It was warm. She examined the blue veins in his wrist and the bones of his fingers. She traced the lines of his palm with her index.
I clutched tightly at my head, trying to drown out the yelling from downstairs. Mom told me to run and hide while she distracted him, she said she didn't want me hurt. But then she's getting hurt, why is my life more important than hers? I didn't have a cell phone, and if I did, the cops would have been here by know. He had also cut off the connection from our home phone, so I can't contact the police. They were miles away. I was lost, angry, scared, sad, just wanting everything to end. The last person I wanted to see was Ellis. He sits on the box in the corner of the attic with that pathetic look on his face. He's always saying, 'It's going to be okay, Marisole, it's going to be okay' Well it's not fucking okay. My mom is probably getting the shit beat out of her and all he is concerned about is me. Really?
"Marisole, I know you're upset. So I'm not going to tell you what I usually say."
"And what is that exactly?"
"Lies."
"Thank you for finally admitting it."
"Here's what you can do: take this shotgun. I found it under the board over there. Take it and send Harson to his grave."
I went frozen. This wasn't normal of Ellis to do. I sat there speechless, trembling in my skin. How long has that gun been there?
"Marisole? Did you hear me? Time is ticking, your mother is going to die. Take this thing and shoot that fucker's brains out. Now." His stern voice sent a wave of chills down my spine.
"How do you use it?" I asked as I stood up weakly. I almost fell walking to Ellis, my legs were shaking so bad.
He puts the gun in my hands and calmly tells me how to hold it properly, how to aim, the right way to stand, how to reload if needed, and how to pull the trigger.
"Honestly, this is a desperate situation right now, so just point and shoot, okay? Don't think about it."
I made my out of the attic quickly and into the hallway where the yelling was louder. They were arguing in the lounge. My mother was still standing, conscious and able-bodied, which was good to see. Harson was a wreck, as usual. He was drunk and screaming at the top of his lungs from his seat on the sofa. He was on the sofa? This was a change. He would have been dragging my mom by her hair by now. His face was red and he looked like he was breathing hard. I stood in the doorway and it took a second before they both noticed me. It got quiet.
"What the hell are you doing, you little cunt?"
"Sweetie, I told you to leave, I can handle this, okay?"
I stood there, not knowing what to say. I slowly pulled out the shotgun and aimed it at Harson. His eyes went wide, then he burst out with laughter.
"You think you're badass, don't you, you fucking bitch?" He stood up and I backed away, fearing for my life. I need Ellis.
"No you don't," I heard a soft voice say, "You can do this. Do what I showed you."
I aimed the shotgun again with more confidence this time and took the safety off. I saw Harson's face. He was the scared one this time. He kneeled to the ground and proceeded to mock me.
"Okay, fine, hotshit, shoot me then. Blow my fucking brains to the wall. You both will be NOTHING without me! You'll be homeless."
"I'd rather eat dirt than my own blood." I said viciously before pulling the trigger and sending a bullet through his brain. My mom screamed as his lifeless body collapsed to the floor. My mind spun as I watched the blood drip down the wallpaper. I dropped the gun and stumbled backwards, running into the wall. A gentle hand laid on my shoulder. Ellis was smiling at me as tears rolled down his face.
'You're so emotional, Ellis.' I thought in my mind and he laughed. This is how we communicate, telepathically, especially when there is someone in the room.
'I'm proud of you.' Ellis told me as he cupped my cheek. He kisses my forehead, letting his lips linger for a second, and then he vanishes.
And that was the last time I've seen him.
"Ellis..." Marisole looks up at him and begins to cry, "My Ellis..."
Ellis takes her in his arms and embraces her tightly, rubbing her back as she sobs.
"Why did you leave me?"
"I never left, I've been here the whole time."
"The point is, Marisole," Ellis begins, "You don't need me anymore. You're stronger now."
"What do you mean?" Marisole panics. "Where will you go?"
"Back up in that wonderful brain." Ellis pokes her forehead and softly smiles.
"Will I see you again?"
"That's up to you. You control me." Ellis' face suddenly drops. "Only a minute left..."
"What?" Marisole asks, concerned. "What do you mean?"
Ellis takes her hands and looks in her eyes. "I want you to close your eyes and think about us. Think about what we've did together."
"You're scaring me, Ellis." Marisole says, but doesn't fight his grip on her.
"Just do it, please. Think about us. In a couple seconds, I will start counting down from 10. When I get to one, open your eyes and you will be back."
"Back where?"
"Trust me."
Marisole closes her eyes and listens to their breathing and how it was in a rhythm. She thinks back to when she found Ellis at Alex's funeral, when they got coffee at the cafe, when they fell in love at the pier. She also remembers the boat incident. Did any of this actually happen?
"10
What in the world made me do this in the first place? Did I think I was God? Am I a schizo?
9
Have I always been mad?
8
Have I always been lonely?
7
Maybe I should have never been born, my mind is poisoned, I can't go on
Mother, why have you not miscarried me?
Aborted me?
6
Dad would still be alive
5
Mom would be happy
4
I realize now
3
I had my mind once, but it got sick and left me for dead
2
Ellis I can't do this without you
Through the Hell fire you pulled me out
1."