"Sometimes you break the things you love, and sometimes the things you love break you."
-
We were hanging out in the mall, the five of us. It has been two weeks since Niall's sleepover and ever since then we started to get as close as ever, it's like I have known him for years. Except that I've only known him for only a few weeks.
"Hey! Stop putting ketchup all over my food, you're ruining it!" Niall said annoyingly at me as I filled his plate with ketchup, which made me laugh an evil laugh at what I did.
"What? I'm having fun." I stuck my tongue out at him. All of a sudden he took the mustard bottle and started to fill my plate with mustard.
"Heyy!" I exclaimed, mocking his tone.
"You started it." He shrugged, laughing the most adorable laugh as I pouted.
"I was planning to eat it, you idiot!" I smacked his arm playfully, still pouting.
"Aww, here you can have mine, or what's left of it." He smirked.
"I'm gonna getcha later, Horan." I looked at him with a dramatic look, but ended up ruining it because he made me laugh.
"Whenever you're ready, Jefferson."
"Ehm, we're still here." Scarlett waved at us as the three of them were looking at us suspiciously, but kept quiet about it. My cheeks turned pink and I started to pick at my food that got ruined by Niall seconds ago.
After that, we went shopping and I didn't get much since I'm not that much of a shopper then after that Niall excused himself to meet up with some friends so he left as we still didn't decide to leave just yet.
"Soo.." Grace started, "You and Niall?" She asked with a smirk.
"Yeah what's up with you guys?" Scarlett asked joining in.
"What? We're friends."
"Since when are you and him besties? A few weeks ago you didn't have any proper conversation with him." Grace added.
"I heard that he got some problems with Chloe." Scarlett said, butting in the conversation.
"What kind of problems?" I asked as my mind went back to the day he was in my apartment and was arguing with her.
"I've heard him a lot having some serious arguments with her, but he always try to show that everything's fine while it's not."
"I bet they won't last another month." Grace waved in the air and I realized that Candice kept her mouth shut during the whole subject and that wasn't normal. Beside that I kinda felt sad about Niall, he didn't deserve whatever he was through but what saddens me that he never bothered to tell me anything and we're suppose to be friends now. He was the one who wanted me to open up so why hasn't he done the same?
"Whatever, I think we're done here, we bought everything we need." Grace told us and we all nodded, agreeing with her.
The ride was silent as Candice drove Scar and Grace home, so I turned on the radio and I recognized the song that was playing almost immediately.
"Oh! That song Niall always make me hear it, it keeps sticking in my head." I said excitedly as I hummed the song lyrics. But Candice still didn't say anything which really did concern me now.
"What's up with you and your sudden silence?" I finally asked. At first, I thought she won't reply since she took so long to reply, but eventually she opened her mouth.
"I don't think hanging out with Niall is a good idea." She said as if she was holding this back for too long and finally said it out loud.
"Okay? And why is that?"
"Because he's in a relationship." She simply said but that made me confused even more.
"So?"
"So? He's going to propose to her, so he loves her and I don't know where did his sudden interest in you come from."
"I still don't understand where the problem is we're frie--"
"Are you? Because I know you Jade and because I know you I know that this won't end well, for the both of you."
"First of all, this is different, he's different and you know that! Otherwise, you wouldn't have let him join our group. And second of all, what do you mean by 'his sudden interest'?" She took a moment in silent as if she was collecting her thoughts.
"Look, I know Niall and l trust him of course, I just don't want anyone to end up getting hurt. I mean, all this time he never had a proper conversation with you and suddenly you became visible to him as ever? It just doesn't add up and I'm not saying that his intentions are bad, but it doesn't make any sense to me."
"Because he- I... Uh-" I stuttered after realizing that I didn't actually find a proper reply to what she said. Honestly, I couldn't help but think about it those past days but I just shrugged it off because I don't wanna lose what I'm feeling right now, even if it's temporary.
"-I won't fall for Niall." I quickly looked for another reply to say since I didn't find any for the last one. Why, just why everytime I try to open up to someone or even trust them something comes up and I'm back again where I started. I mean, Niall can't possibly be lying to me, can he? He doesn't look like the kind of guy who lies to girls and he has a girlfriend who he loves and admires. But I couldn't help but wonder why did he even bothered talking to me.
"You said the same thing about Jack, but yeah whatever, I'm just saying what I'm feeling because you're my sister and I care about you more than my life." My face softened a little when she said that, because she's right and I've always trusted her opinion because she's always right. Her experiences all these years and the boyfriends she had, she learned a lot from them. It's nothing compared to what I had. I've been with Jack for two years and that didn't let me have any kind of relationships with other guys, I was so committed to him.
"I understand." I simply said and she looked away from the road to look at me, her face held that concerned look. She took her hand to put it on mine as in a way of sympathy. We didn't say anything for the rest of the ride until she drove me off.
The next day I couldn't help but think about what Candice said to me in the car, she has a point somehow. I started to ask myself the same questions like why did he want to get to know me in the first place? Why did he stay when he saw me at my worst when I thought he was jack I mean, after all he didn't know me back then.
I tried to push these thoughts back and try and think clearly but before I try to do anything my phone rang on the table next to me, it showed that Niall was calling. I picked it up and answered.
"Hello, Niall."
"Hello, Jade." He mocked me, and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"I wanna come over."
"Ohhh like a sleepover? Are we having girls night?!" I heard him laugh at the other end.
"Really? I've always wanted a girls night." He joked along with me.
"Well then what are you waiting for c'mon over!"
"How about we go to some fancy restaurant that you don't like?"
"Hmm, that will do."
"Okay, 8 PM tonight. See ya." And with that I hanged up. All these thoughts and questions fortunately didn't stop me from being me on the phone instead of being rude and mean. This is not over though I know that I will have to open the subject with him.
*
I zipped the zipper of my dress I got yesterday, staring at my reflection in the mirror wondering idly if every thing is going to end up right and okay tonight? I sure hope so because just thinking that it wont scares me a bit I don't even wanna think about it.
I heard my phone vibrates as in a text message so I walked with my red high heels to grab it from the bed, it was from Niall texting me that hes here. I started slightly to get nervous as I looked at myself for the last time in the mirror, deciding that it's finally the time I should leave so I left my apartment to find Niall's car parked in front of the apartment.
"Nice dress." He complimented.
"You look nice too." I tried to compliment even though I'm so bad at replying to compliments 'cause sometimes I feel like it's just some lies people say to make them look better but that doesn't mean that all of them lie, I just can't figure out who's lying and who really mean it.
Anyways, the ride was so calm and comfortable as the radio played softly in the background and I stared at the window. A few minutes later we stopped in front of the same restaurant as last time.
"I see that you like this restaurant a lot since you made us come here again." I pointed out. He chuckled.
"Maybe because you created for me the best memory here." It's like everytime he opens his lips he compliments me or say something really sweet and it bothers me because I might get used to it and that's...not good.
We entered the place, but this time we changed the table to a one next to the window so that I can see people and most importantly the clear sky and the moon.
The waiter after greeting us, he gave us the menu and after a lot of thinking I decided I should go with just salad since I'm not in the mood for eating anything right now and 'cause everything here is so expensive and i hate the fact that Niall wants to pay for everything. After ordering, Niall gave me a look but decided not to say anything about it and I think it's better that he did.
I looked around me and eyed everyone and the way they dressed and then looked at the dress I was wearing.
"Well at least I dressed properly for the place this time." It was meant to be said to myself, but he heard me I guess.
"Last time you weren't dressed that bad anyways." I shifted uncomfortably, taking a sip of my glass of water.
My mind went back to the last time I went out with Jack and how we fought about a guy who eyed me the whole evening and I didn't even get to finish my meal because I left him sitting alone. Of course he left behind me and we fought again in the streets which made me go back home walking. But then a few hours later I found him knocking on my door, embracing me with a warm big tight hug of his, saying how sorry he was that he acted this way and of course- being my naïve self- I was so happy, actually I was at my happiest being in his arms. Now he's gone andI have to convince myself that every moment of happiness with him were no good. I just really hate it, because back then I'd do anything to relive every happy moment with him, but now I'd do anything just to forget them along with the pain they're now causing me.
"Are you okay?" Niall asked all of a sudden, snapping me from my unhappy thoughts.
"Stop asking me that question, you keep asking the same thing ever since we talked." I cleared my throat and said with a normal voice-kinda-.
"I don't know, it feels like you don't want to make any eye contact with me and you look kinda uncomfortable, did I do somethi—"
"No no no! you didn't- actually, you did."
"What is it? Is it because of the restaurant? We can go anywhere if you li—"
"The restaurant is nice, I just- I don't know how to say it but--" I cut him off again, putting the memory of Jack aside, I think it's finally the time I should ask the question that's been bugging me all day long.
"You can tell me anything." he said with a really concerned look on his face. The fact that he really cared if anything he did bothered him is so nice that it makes me feel like I actually matter.
"I kinda still don't know the actual reason why you were so determined to get to know me and help me. I appreciate that you did, but it's just weird, I was in front of you this whole time, why now?" I asked. A smile showed on his face.
"This is why we're here. I wanted to tell you everything." I was so relieved and happy that he actually wanted to be honest with me and tell me the truth.
"Okay then go ahead." And before he can even part his lips the waiter interrupted, putting our plates on the table.
"Well, before I met all of you, even before I met Chloe, I knew a girl and.." He paused as if he was trying to find the right words to say.
"We were really really close, she was everything to me and I thought that I was the same for her. We spent every second of every day together, we made everything together and discovered everything together too."
"Every couples has their ups and downs, but mine and hers were down all the way. It came days where where we only fight, fights that now if you think about it you'll find it very stupid and immature. We just couldn't stay away from each other because our love was so strong." As he was talking It felt like he was describing my relationship with Jack and how it was in the beginning and how it went on after that, which really grabbed my attention.
"What happened then? Why did you guys broke up?" All of a sudden I felt curious to know how it ended.
"Eventually we got tired but mostly she got tired, I was wiling to fight all my life for her because she was worth it. But, sadly, she gave up on us and left." he looked down at his plate, biting his lower lip.
oh
"She left me with nothing but darkness and misery, I thought that my life ended the day she left but.." he paused, returning his gaze on me. "Then I met Chloe." He smiled that famous admiration smile and continued, "The most beautiful, amazing and kindest girl I've ever seen. I met her in a bar I was getting drunk in and she was sitting all alone and our paths crossed and quickly she started to bring me back to life, being a whole again after I was a mess."
"I'm really touched with your story and I'm glad that you met her, but why are you exactly telling me this?" I didn't want to sound rude because he opened up a little about his past but I still don't get what did he want to say.
"Can't you see a bit of similarity with my story and yours? I wanted to say that I understand how it feels like to be heartbroken by the person you loved the most. Whenever I saw you I couldn't help but feel this sadness in your eyes and your voice, I know it because I once had those sad teary eyes and that broken voice."
"And?"
"I want to be the one who'll save you," he paused for a second and then continued, "Let me in. Let me help and make everything okay again."
That made my heart skip a beat. No one's ever said anything like that to me before. It warmed my heart and made me feel like I'm someone worth helping. But I had to keep my shit together.
"But when Chloe did this you fell in love with her." I pointed out from his story.
"You already know that we're just friends and that I'll marry Chloe."
"But it doesn't work out that way, I need to feel comfortable around you and tell you things no one knows about me and—"
"C'mon! You already know that you're comfortable around me and you enjoy your time with me and I've pretty much learned a lot about you in these few days." He looked pretty confident as he said it, but that didn't mean I should play fair.
"Then prove it." I smirked.
"Prove? What?" He was taken aback from my request.
"That you know me, tell me anything you know about me." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Well, let's see..." He paused, thinking about it.
"I know that you break eye contact when you get complimented and you don't know how to reply to them but I can't help it." he chuckled and then continued, "I know that you hate romantic movies, sappy songs and you hate happy endings. You think that you hate kids just because you don't know how to deal with them, that you try to act more independent than you really are and that you act like you don't care at all while in fact you care too damn much." the smirk that was on my face changed into an amazed one by what he said and okay he really does know things.
"Fine! You might be right about this, but there's one last thing." I said, putting my last card so I can feel satisfied that I said everything that went through my head without missing anything.
"What?"
"Just like you want me to let you in, I want you to do the same with me. I can't just keep pouring my heart out and know nothing about you, this is so selfish."
"Okay. Deal."
Well, that was fast
"Great. How about you do the honor and we start with you?" Being the curious person I am, I asked.
"Me? Why?" He pretends as if there's nothing to start with.
"Don't act like you don't have any problem with Chloe, we just had a deal one second ago." I called him out, glaring at him.
"How did you know about that?" he nervously asked and I didn't have a solid answer to his question so I have to get own my own way.
"I just know. Now tell me."
Nice
"I don't know... It's just- Chloe always drops anything even if it was important just to talk with me. But lately she can't make time for me and she doesn't even bother to call me back and I know it might sound stupid but I don't want her to end up just like my past, I do love her so much." his face was holding no emotions but I can feel the worry and sadness in his tone. And to be honest I was never in the position of giving advice, I was always the person that was given to.
"Just wait 'till she comes back and solve your problems together, those endless arguments over the phone won't solve anything."
"Like seriously, how did you know?"
"Stalking skills." I shrugged, giggling, hoping that this might shut him up.
"This is not creepy at all." He joked along, freakin' finally.
After finishing our food and talked some more Niall paid for us and then we left.
"Wanna go for a walk?" Niall suggested. As much as the idea was tempting I was wearing heals and I was also very tired.
"I can't walk with heals and I'm tired, maybe next time" I said. He nodded then we walked back to the car. Just as he was going to start the car his phone rang, so he pulled it out of his pocket and answered. It was Chloe. I watched as his expression changed to a surprised one and I was so curious to know what did she say.
"Seriously?! That's amazing! When exactly? Awesome. I can't wait. Okay. Love ya bye." And with that, he hung up. I looked at him impatiently so he can speak up and tell me what's going on.
"Chloe is coming back a week early! Oh my god, finally!" He said with a relieved tone, he looked so excited. I just stared at him for a second not sure how to react but then I reacted quickly and smiled.
"Oh t-that's great! You'll work everything out I'm sure."
I couldn't help it but feel not so excited about her coming back early and I don't even know why. I really need to snap out of it eventually, Chloe is coming back and all of his attention will return back to her right back where it should be and I'm just going to be left alone again and he won't remember what he said to me earlier about me letting him in and saving me because he'll be too busy planning how to propose to her. But I know I'm supposed to be happy for him and encourage him to do the best choice, after all, he is my friend and I should be happy for him.
"Thank you so much for helping me and standing by my side, I'll never forget that." He smiled at me, putting his hand over my hand, squeezing it a bit.
But you will forget about me eventually
But I'm okay with it
"It's nothing." I smiled back and then his hand left mine to start the car and he drove me back to my apartment in silence, because I really like silence and besides I didn't really wanna talk anymore I was so tired.
After a while, the car stopped and I realized that the night ends right now and I wasn't ready even if I knew it did already. I didn't move an inch, I just stared at the window that showed my sad lonely apartment with no emotions on my face.
"So when is she coming back exactly?" I asked, turning my head to look at him which he as already looking.
"Tomorrow night." I gulped.
This fast!?
"Oh." that's all I could come up with at this moment, "Okay, good luck with everything I hope it goes for the best," I said with a really not excited tone, faked a smile and then opened the door so I could finally get out of the car.
"Have a good night, Jade." I waved at him with another fake smile and left so I can enter my apartment.
With a really exhausted sigh, I laid in bed thinking about everything that happened tonight and how it might all change within just 24 hours. I've had a lot of changes in my life, it goes for the better then for the worst then for the better again and it keeps changing. Why can't I have a constant good life? Why can't I have someone for myself that will never get tired of my shit and how awkward I can get sometimes, love me for myself and make me feel like I'm worth living in this god awful place? These thoughts kept hitting me every night, made me hate myself and my life too more and more every day.
My thoughts were cut off as my phone was ringing next to me, I grabbed it to find that Candice was calling me. I raised my brow and cleared my throat.
"Yo, what's up?" I heard her cheery voice over the phone.
"I was out with Niall. Just got back."
"Oh. Did you thought about what I said?"
"I did and I asked him. He said that the same thing that happened to me happened to him and he was so lucky that Chloe was around to save him so he wants so save me and be there for me just like what Chloe did for him."
"But he fell for her when she did that."
"I said the same thing! But he just said that I already know that we're just friends and he's head over heals with Chloe so it's 'safe'."
"This is exactly why it's not safe." I didn't know how to reply to that so we both stayed in silence until I heard her sigh.
"Speaking of, did you know that she's coming back a week early, as in tomorrow night?" She said.
"Yeah. How did you know that so quickly?"
"She's one of our group, you idiot." I chuckled.
"Of course, you don't miss out a thing."
"That's me babe." I can feel her proudly smiling from the other end.
After that, we started to gossip on other people until I was too tired to function, so I slept right after, with the thought of Niall and his soon to be fiancée.
*
A week past and I didn't hear from Niall at all, not even the girls know anything, they didn't even meet Chloe when she came back and it was safe to say that I wasn't surprise. I was completely sure that he'll forget about me when she comes back and he did. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed whatsoever, but I'm trying not to think about it a lot these days.
I was with the girls, eating lunch together and Candice said that Niall and Chloe will meet us here, but they still haven't showed up. I don't even know if he proposed to her, and we're supposed to be friends? Again, the person I chose to get close to bails on me.
"Hey! Here they are!" I heard someone said from behind me. I looked at the girls, they all looked at the same direction of the voice that was behind me. I saw Grace mumbling something to Candice that I couldn't hear. I looked behind me to see, of course, Niall and Chloe holding hands as Chloe was smiling from ear to ear, waving at us. As they walked closer to us, there was a visible shiny familiar ring on her finger and suddenly my heart beaten faster.
He did propose to her
and she said yes
***
A/N: I'm back! I just wanna tell you guys how truly happy I am for all the support I got lately, I really needed it and it made me want to write more and think more to create a great story. I really do hope you all like it 'till the end and once again, thank you so much! :)x
Comment/Vote and tell me your opinions, it matters the most to me and also inspires me to be better.